.... pyramid clowns? Please do elaborate, m' dear
Pyramid Clowns are one of the oldest breeds of clowns known to mankind, they were discovered and first recorded in the Indus Valley Civilization at around 3500 BCE. One could have easily found them near rivers in India and Egypt, but now they are all safe in sanctuaries backed by the WCPS (World Clown Protection Society).
this is what they look like now! They have five main parts: the hat, the head, the nose, the collar, the small hocus-peri-peribus, the boing-arius pinkerum, the large hocus-peri-peribus and the lower bafoonerestine. An upper bafoonerestine used to exist (to store venom!) back when pyramid clowns needed a defense against the now extinct clowneaters, but through evolution, this feature disappeared. Clown Pyramids have the ability to separate their heads from the rest of their body for about 50-200 hours at a time! they also contain Polka-bonkei, a serotonin inducing chemical stored in their boing-arius pinkerum and store extra nutrients and water inside their collars. They are also the only breed of clown to reproduce with their clown noses!
I had briefly mentioned Clown Pyramids and what led to their endangerment in my clown eugenics post: They were taken into and selectively bred in Europe to be appealing towards the children of nobility and royalty, hence they lost their darker colour palette and shorter separation-from-the-rest-of-their-body time and adorned a brighter and more long lasting one (respectively) instead. However, their mistreatment began and got worse and worse, with them being treated as toys rather than clowns. The Honk Act of 1769 stated that certain breeds of clowns, including pyramid clowns, were not to be deemed as clowns but objects, and barred them from having basic rights. They were kept in tight cages, stretched thin, declawed (their claws were inside their hat, and they would extend it and would headbutt potential predators with it) and were overall treated horribly. This continued on and worsened up until the 1970′s, when researchers and clourologists at Cirque University noticed that clowns stopped hatching by rivers, and existing Pyramid Clowns began to decompose alive. Multiple protests were held out for the protection of Pyramid Clowns but were shut down quickly. This was the case up until 2003, when the breed was deemed endangered. This caused global panic as more and more situations of mistreatment against Pyramid Clowns (and a couple others) came to light, and on 5th November 2004, this act was finally reversed and the WCPS was finally given permission to create Pyramid Clown sanctuaries.
Now, they are slowly increasing in numbers and while they won’t be adoptable for many years to come, they are safe and spend their days without fearing for their lives. Instead, they sing show-tunes and are slowly regaining former abilities such as using their claws, reproducing and even releasing Polka-Bonkei.
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