i need advice, my bf and i have been together for 3 years. im starting to realize we aren’t really meant to be, he has taught me a lot throughout our relationship and he’s sweet but we want two completely different things. he knew i was high maintenance and had high standards and he kept up with it but he’s starting to ask questions that just seems like he wants loopholes to not keep up with my standards but make me lower them which I WILL NOT DO.
he pays for everything and he drives me to school since i have no car and i need a ride to keep going to school. i feel like i’m with him to survive now until i’m able to get a car and be more independent.
You and Ur Friends are High Maintenance w/ Low Income
urTOOspoiled Devil’s Advocate Series
MY ADVICE: Let that mango. You need to get your priorities together.
“He knew I was high maintenance and had high standards and he kept up with it but he’s starting to ask questions that just seems like he wants loopholes to not keep up with my standards but make me lower them which I WILL NOT DO,”
I don’t think you should lower your standards. I think you should meet your own standards BEFORE EXPECTING HIM TO particularly since you’re only with the man out of survival….what do I know though?
A Porsche is high maintenance. So is an infant with an ear infection….
HIGH MAINTENANCE MEANS NOTHING!!!
Focus on becoming HIGH QUALITY…which will solidify your HIGH VALUE…which automatically requires a HIGH amount of MAINTENANCE.
Here’s why I’m playing devils advocate: that man has CONTINUOUSLY kept up with these standards you’ve “TOLD” him about for THREE YEARS despite the fact you haven’t SHOWN him you can meet your own standards.
If you FEEL like you’re with him out of survival, is it fair to assume he probably FEELS like you’re a bit of a financial burden? Is he wrong?
He doesn’t want loopholes nor for you to lower these standards you speak of.
He wants a lover, not a leech- something you’ve BEEN for awhile it seems. He is asking you questions to see where your mind and intentions are at as far as becoming a stable adult.
That’s a smart man right there. I like him. He has a strategy and is (probably, I guess) plotting on breaking up with you as well. Learn how to develop your dating strategy HERE.
I’m sorry but there’s no excuse that you’re with a man who pays for “everything” yet you need him for a ride to “keep going to school,”. That’s not his responsibility. It’s yours. Prioritize it.
You had ample time to save for a car.
You had ample time to put money on your Uber account every week.
You could’ve put money in a savings account and accumulated a nice amount of interest.
You had enough time to become stable while taking advantage of the help a man is giving you. Set the example prior to spewing expectations. Men listen to actions and that you lack.
It’s fascinating reading, watching and overall observing women boast about having high standards yet if that man died today or tomorrow you’re stuck in distress….and eventually soon in another man’s arms who can provide for you. That’s dangerous.
No disrespect, but how “high maintenance” can you be if you lack the funds and ambition to take care of yourself? You get my point, so do better.
Closing Thoughts: Men love a damsel in distress, not a woman whose dependent on them. They will either take advantage of such irresponsibility or they will genuinely help you…to an extent. They’re also taking note to see if you’re a user or ignorantly lazy. If you’re not willing to help yourself they’re going to move on to a more STABLE partner.
Nobody wants to fund your expenses out of obligation. That’s how resentment surfaces. It’s not fair for neither you nor your partner to place such a burden onto them.
If you want to keep him, provide for yourself FIRST so he feels comfortable providing for you because he wants to, not because you need a handout.
To learn how to master dating the masculine, click HERE
Be a spoiled brat, not a spoiled bum.
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