Hopeless

Dreams of fairytales are forever in my head

[hopelessly-lo-st]

Hello world! I decided I needed an outlet for my inner thoughts. Those thoughts that allow me to escape my reality. Why not here!

-Hopelessy Lost

[hopelessly-lo-st]

I'm way into my head these days, over analyzing everything. And it is frustrating as heck. Asking myself if I'm happy or not. Also, just wanting to drop everything and leave. I am not living my best life right now, this much I am fully aware of. I'm not living it how I need to. I need adventure, laughing so much it hurts. And to be carefree! I'm not being loved like I need and crave. Just 1 day back here from SC and I'm miserable again. Feeling "trapped" My hobbies I used to love no longer bring me joy. Maybe it's all depression, or maybe it's not. I dunno. All I do know is I'm crying more and laughing less. And I don't like it at all.

[hopelessly-lo-st]

Sent a flirty picture of myself to my husband and all I got back was....

"You look comfy."

I was in a new bra. WTF?! Not what I was looking for, at all. I know we have been married for almost 13yrs but fuck, really?! This hurts my heart.

[hopelessly-lo-st]

And just like that, my thoughts, wants, needs take control over me. I've suppressed them long enough. Time for me to fly.

[hopelessly-lo-st]

This song stuck out most with me today. And played multiple times by me.

The line

Make my world go black, to be more specific.

Something I long for. Wanted this badly from a husband who barely notices me. Yet, knows my obsessions with being romanticized. Yet, doesn't do anything about it.