LIGHTWOOD BANES WEEK - ALEC & RAFE
“All good?” Alec knocked on the door.
He sounded calm - but only because he tried his best not to sound as excited as felt. He had been waiting for this day for quite a long time and he couldn’t believe it was all happening.
There was no response from the other side so Alec knocked again. No response. Maybe Rafe had overslept. Alec did notice that the light in the room hadn’t gone out till early morning.
“Alright, I am coming in,” Alec said and gently pushed the door open.
He saw his son sitting on the bed, still in his purple pyjamas, hugging his knees to his chest. He kept his eyes to the floor and avoided Alec’s worried gaze. Alec didn’t know what was wrong but he wished Magnus was here - he would know how to deal with this.
His way of dealing with it would of course to make an ill timed joke. Maybe Alec should try that.
“I know your bapa taught you that being fashionably late is cool,” Alec said with a grin. “But you can’t be late to your own rune ceremony, buddy.”
Rafe looked up with an incredulous look on his face, he seemed a little exasperated. Alright maybe Alec wasn’t the funny dad. So he tried to use his own tactics.
He knelt down in front his son and scanned Rafe’s face. “I know it is a little scary to get your first rune, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you think, I promise. You are a shadowhunter. You will get used to it.”
“What if I didn’t want to be a shadowhunter?”
Something in Alec’s heart stopped or broke or burst into a million pieces. He wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter. He wasn’t concerned by the heart inside his body. He was concerned about the little heart in front of him.
“Rafael,” Alec said softly. “What’s wrong?”
The boy took a deep breath and looked up at him. “I am not just any shadowhunter, am I?”
Alec cocked his head in confusion.
“I am not just any shadowhunter,” Rafael repeated. “I am a Lightwood.”
Alec couldn’t help but smile a little at that and put his hand on Rafael’s shoulder. “Yes. Yes, you are. You’re a Lightwood.”
Rafael pushed it away. “But I am not, aren’t I?”
“What do you mean?” Alec asked, genuinely confused.
“I am both a Lightwood and I am not,” Rafael explained frustratedly.
“I am the son of the Consul, a hero of the Dark War and the founder of the Shadowhunter Downworlder Alliance,” Rafael said as if he was reciting a practiced speech.
Alec would have blushed in any other situation but right now he was only worried. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Rafe shook his head. “You did everything right and I…I am just worried that I won’t.”
“Rafael,” Alec sighed. “You are not me. You don’t have to do what I did or do.”
“But it isn’t just about you,” Rafael bit his lip. “It’s all of you. Every single one. Aunt Izzy is one of the best fighters in the world. Abuelo was the freaking inquisitor and Uncle Jace…Well, he is Uncle Jace.”
Alec didn’t know what to do. In this head, he heard Magnus’s voice when he spoke to Max when their blueberry got too stressed during their magic lessons.
“Smell the flowers and blow the candles,” Magnus would tell their son.
Alec took a deep breath in and let it out slowly.
“Do you want me to tell you that you are going to be great just like all of us?” Alec asked, even though he knew the answer.
“No, I don’t want you do that,” Rafael said stubbornly. “Because I know I won’t be.”
“Because I am not a Lightwood, dad,” Rafael almost shouted. “Not really. I am just..I am just some boy you found in the streets. So whatever genes that make you the rest of you amazing and awesome and cool and perfect - it’s not gonna work for me.”
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