The Redwall books will be like “the baby mice giggled with glee while dancing around the pond” then two paragraphs later “the slavers dumped the corpse into a ditch”
I picked up Mariel of Redwall again to get ahead of the discord book club and
I forgot how intense a villain Gabool is
Howling his own name into a thunderstorm; decapitating a guy because he sassed him; pulling the "I'm getting soft in me old age" card to earn (some of) your prisoner's trust, then shoving him out of a window; sticking a knife in the wall and hiding it behind a tapestry so you can shove a guy into it later; the whole scorpion thing.
as much as i adore the redwall post that's like: delicious food / countless deaths, it's never really the abbeydwellers who get slaughtered en masse, usually the vermin, so IMO the diary entry should be from the perspective of some luckless rat or ferret named like Soggyclaw like so
entry one: me and the lads pinched the grog off our ole capn and some biscuits that ain't stale yet and we sat around the fire and talked about the days out at sea back when we was pirates but now we're going to some place called redhall nabby where there'll be treasure for all of us and we'll get an even better ship than ole Bladedancer (wot a good ship). and then Stinky got up and did his dance and we all threw things at him becoz we hate em
entry two: a big stripedog came and killed all me messmates
Today I showed my friends The Short Patrol (The Long Patrol but Really Really Fast) Youtube video and one of my closest friends said "They should make this into a movie".
The Redwall disord server is being quiet again. I should say something controversial to liven her up.
My current hot takes to wreak havoc options are:
- Constance and Fortunata would have made an excellent power couple, if given enough time (I’m thinking slapped together on a long quest with no other choice but to rely on each other. Constance tries to go it alone and doesn’t really care but keeps having to save Fortunata whenever she decides to go rogue and then one day Fortunata saves Constance and suddenly everything shifts)
- Friar Hugo is gay and in the closet and the way he is constantly holding onto his dock leaf symbolizes the way he clings to the heterosexual image he presents to the world
- if Reepicheep from Narnia and Martin the Warrior fought, I think Reepicheep would win
- the horse should have made a cameo in one of the books and he should have a traveling hedgehog who rides around on his back and climbed up and down with rope ladders and his name is Dinglechonk
- Matthias is clearly based on Luke Skywalker and then when questioned, I’ll say that they’re both young and really wanted to join a cult
Time for the Tomodachi Life: Mossflower Island edition update - here's what happened so far (mostly just me observing and moving characters around on occasion XD) . Enjoy my "fanfic" as it may be XD
Click beneath the cut (it's kinda long so I made it easier for your dash)!
1.) I, of course, made Martin and Gonff first. Martin immediately fell in love. Because of course he did.
2.) Added Columbine, she immediately got a crush on Gonff.
Who also promptly bragged about himself.
3. Added Matthias and Cornflower. These two can't make up their mind nor actually DO something about their relationship. They're on, they're off, they're on, they're off, ALL THE TIME.
C'mon you two, make up your minds.
4. Added Rose to the mix, she is of course, perfection.
5. Added Mariel, Dandin, and Saxtus. Dandin was quickly smitten with Mariel, and they became fast friends.
6.) He eventually asked to be sweethearts in the most dramatic way possible.
7.) Meanwhile, Saxtus fell in love with Dandin on TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS (even after being turned town)
I have had to send this man on so many trips to make him feel better, the poor guy.
8.) We had a weddin' (Martin and Gonff, because Columbine could not stop their love apparently XD) ! And with how events unfolded, I accidentally managed to get all three to live in the same household. (people like being roommates in this game apparently).
I was also able to bequeath Martin with the toy sword.
9.) Somehow, against odds, ROSE joined the household too???
10.) I added Luke and Sayna, just to see what they'd do
Luke fell immediately in love with Sayna.
Luke interacting with Martin is priceless.
11.) Sayna proposed to Luke. This is now my headcanon, and nobody can tell me otherwise. I'm HERE for it. This is totally how it happened.
12.) because I had Martin listed as their IRL kid (to keep certain characters for falling in love with each other), the game then suddenly counted Martin as their kid. Immediately Luke and Martin get to practicing.
13.) Saxtus gave up on love, and started becoming a middleman for friendship. (But Rose is currently crushing on him)
14.) Luke and Martin, well, I seemed to have gotten their relationship correct. They're either practice fighting or doing something to annoy each other.
And that's the update in a nutshell! I have a whole host of other screencaps and videos of things. I'll keep you updated if Matthias and Cornflower ever get married. They live together but can't decide WHAT they wanna do....
If you've made it this far... CONGRATULATIONS!
Who do you think I should add to the island next?? (I just recently added Ben and Goody), I'm waiting for kids to come along in game to add those like Gonflet and Mattimeo, so they're in the works.
I suppose I should say a thing or two about Netflix cancelling their plans for the Redwall adaptation, wot
Sighs. Netflix literally had rights to the WHOLE Redwall series that is basically tailor-made for adaptation. It's got excellent worldbuilding, memorable characters, talking woodland creatures with swords (which is already objectively peak fiction), feasts that would be GORGEOUS seen on screen, and stories that combine wholesomenss with loyalty, bravery AND courage.
Besides, Redwall isn’t some obscure, impossible-to-adapt mess. This is an amazing series that has been sitting around for YEARS with a fanbase just waiting to see it done well, with the budget it deserves!
And what's really annoying is that it’s not like there’s a lack of interest. Fantasy is quite popular right now. People love this kind of stuff! If anything, Redwall would stand out cause it’s not trying to be edgy or grimdark for the sake of it - it’s genuine, it’s adventurous and emotional!!
Thanks for reading my ramblings!!
-- Soop/Raven
Side Note: I think it would be cool if Cartoon Saloon did an adaptation of Redwall - their arstyle really fits it, if you get what I mean
I’ll never let it go that Martin did not use a shield 🤣 (lovingly). It’s probably my favorite continuity error, because it played such an important part in Redwall and then it simply just did not exist in Mossflower. (Oh yeah and the hip scabbard. He wears the blade on his back…???)
My headcanon is that it was a gift from Salamandastron, which is also why it has the big “M” on it. (It just doesn’t seem like Martin’s style to have a big M in anything he owns)
And just how did it get to be part of a puzzle built into the abbey?
SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I fully believe that Gonff had a paw in making the whole riddle to where the sword was hidden. (And in other ways, he’s the one in the ghost world writing all the dream riddles/poems that Ghost!Martin delivers…there’s no way Martin is writing all of those.)
Also, yes I will never pass up a chance to draw Gonff with Gonflet. 😌
Redwall art envisioned as an 80's animated film look.
(Milt Kahl / Don Bluth)
---
I know nothing abt Redwall. I havent read the books and know very VERY little of its lore. Years ago I remember seeing a tv series but never finished it.
gummygunk
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
baratheonpilled
dailybridgerton
