Sex, Claws, and Rock 'n Roll

Classic rock 'n rolling, Harley riding, supernatural pest slaying werewolf lady. Independent semi-selective werewolf OC written by Tora. 21+ Please read rules

[houndofgod]

I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky...

I am not your blowing wind

I am the lightning

I am not your autumn moon

I am the night

Meet Audrey Schwartz, a monster hunter, psychopomp, hedonist and werewolf. What can she say, when you've been around for 400 years you've got to stay busy somehow yeah? So are you gonna sit in the corner and stare at your shoes all night kid? Life's too short for regrets!

To the tune of:

So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, it's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark, turn and face the strange changes, I traveled the world and the seven seas, might as well jump, someday you'll know where you are, hit me with your best shot, don't give a damn bout my bad reputation, addicted to love

Rules, info, links and sundry under the cut

Hi, I'm Tora, thanks for stopping by! I'm rebooting this blog after being away for a while and I can't edit the original pages I made but things have changed a bit so feel free to ignore those. Most of what you need to know will hopefully be here to keep things easy.

About me:

I like vintage scifi, animation and weird media. I'm currently playing housewife and recovering from burnout after being my grandmother's caregiver for five years. I'm still figuring out how to have a life of my own so if I seem distant or disinterested, I promise I'm not, I'm getting used to talking to people again. Please be patient with me, I've got a lot to sort out for myself rn.

I'm well over 30 and have been rping for something like 10 years. I like both long and short rp forms, I'm not too heavy on formatting (I'm stuck on mobile) and I mainly enjoy action and adventure themed threads with lots of character and relationship development. Audrey's primary ship is with Hanael @crosshairsdemon to whom she's married. Neither of them are serial monogamists while they're apart but they're very dedicated to each other which most other relationships will reflect. Further details here. Shipping is according to chemistry and written threads. Basically I'm open to the idea of shipping with Audrey but it's not my focus and it'll require extensive plotting. If you've got an idea tho, hmu! I don't mind NSFW stuff on my dash at all, but smut will be exclusively with Hanael. Mainly I enjoy things that make me laugh, tho I'm not above some juicy angst and drama lol. Audrey has her own main verse and an extensive timeline to work in but I'm very open to creating new ones. My biggest inspirations currently are The X Files, Hellsing, Hellboy, and the supernatural and strange.

Rules:

Fandoms I will not interact with because they do not spark joy: Hazbin Hotel etc., Wicked, Harry Potter, Stranger Things, Good Omens

Firstly: This blog is for fun. I'm here to have fun and I want you to have fun too! If you're not enjoying our character dynamic, if the starter or reply isn't working for you, if you're not having fun, please tell me asap! I'm always happy to workshop things ooc so we can make a better story together! And if that doesn't work I will not be upset if you feel like you need to unfollow to spend your time better elsewhere! But please do not let something pass and sit and fester until you're miserable and can't take it anymore, that's no good for anyone here. RP is a hobby for fun, but it takes all of us muns working together to make that happen. Thank you.

That said, if I follow you I think you've got something cool going on and want to play! It may take me a moment since I'm busy but bear with me. I'll do the same for you, I know we've all got lives and obligations offline. Take your time. Please no weird drama shit, I'm here for fun. Audrey can be an asshole but I don't want that to bleed into a relationship ooc. If I approach you for rp and you're not feeling it, please feel free to softblock me. I'd rather not hang around waiting on someone who's not into it wondering what's up.

Special note: this is not an ABO blog, I'm not interested in it unless it's to do something genuinely interesting with the trope.

About Audrey:

Born around 400 years ago to a werewolf and a human in Swedish Livonia, Audrey's had a busy life. There's been ups (fighting demons during the French Revolution) and downs (working for a vampire crime lord in the 60's) and run arounds (eating zombie Hitler?), but that's how it goes innit?

Audrey is inspired mainly by the story of Thiess of Kaltenbrun and was written to be at home in the Hellsing manga canon but is flexible for most other settings. It means she's rather OP but I try not to take advantage of that, it'd spoil the fun!

Faceclaim: Stephanie Beatriz in Brooklyn 99

Height: 5'5"

Sexuality: Swinging both ways, sometimes with a bat

Likes: food, rock music, dancing, sex, video games, old movies, scifi, sticking her nose where it doesn't belong

Dislikes: the ocean, small spaces, ghosts, gods, faeries, being looked down on

Morality: Chaotic Neutral leaning towards good. Sometimes.

Strengths: Persistent, resourceful, generous, caring, independent

Flaws: Impulsive, overconfident, capricious, blunt, overbearing

Abilities: super strength, speed, senses and regeneration. Wolf transformation (partial and full), shadow manipulation, shadow wolf transformation, dimension walking, sin eating, some telepathy. Impeccable sense of direction. Skilled in firearms and bashing skulls with her steel staff.

Weaknesses: silver and wolfsbane. An injury caused by either one will heal at a much slower rate. Loses control of her shifting powers without her wolf-belt. In that case she is forced to transform during the full moon as well as the preceding and following night. She maintains her humanity during her transformation at these times but can lose that coherence under stress.

Personality: Outgoing, passionate, pragmatic loud, Audrey is determined to live a life without regret by doing what she believes is right. Loyal to her friends, deadly to her enemies, although the two are rarely distinguished by their morals. She travels far and frequently for her job but enjoys making friends whereever she goes and adding to her constantly growing adopted family. She’s honest, often to the point of rudeness but she expects honesty in return and dislikes lying and deceit. Ironically she’s become very good at twisting her words and hiding the truth without actually lying herself. Although she often acts without thinking, she means well and tries her best to help those around her. She's at home with flings and one night stands and flirts easily, tho she tries to respect boundaries if they're laid down. Outside of sexual relationships, she tries to be a mentor and a problem solver although she sometimes causes more problems than she solves. It doesn’t help that she’s extremely confident in the rightness of her actions, particularly when they may be morally questionable.

Tag Library

[houndofgod]

Tentative verse roster:

General

Team Third Way (on hold)

Supernatural

Animorphs (In New Andalite flavor!)

Hellsing (obligatory but likely not to see much action alas)

Pre-2015

Across the universe (Audrey being a multiverse tourist)

[crosshairsdemon]

@houndofgod and I are already workshopping a plausible angle for a Yeerk/Andalite forbidden romance in our animorphs AU. Never ever doubt our dedication to making our dolls kiss in every universe.

[houndofgod]

Further evidence that Audrey has garbage-tier taste in every verse 😂

[houndofgod]

Tbh I'm a bit stuck with my current verse situation. I feel like it's not really flexible or approachable enough for a lot of people? Is this a thing or nah? Anyways I want to make interacting with Audrey easier for people but I'm not quite sure how yet, tho I'm open to suggestions.

[probablily]

i say yay outloud too like this isn't just my internet persona this is real me

[crosshairsdemon]

It's my birthday. Gonna try to push some drafts out before my work week starts.

[houndofgod]

Happy Birthday to the absolute best guy and my best friend in the whole world!

[houndofgod]

If Audrey had a comic Dave McKean would do the covers, art by Mike Dringenberg under the Vertigo imprint.

If she had a manga it'd be drawn by Q Hayashida, tho it'd be underutilizing her talents tbh.

Her anime would be produced by Madhouse, animation directed by Yutaka Minowa.

Western animation it'd have to be a Don Bluth Production, two movies and teased for a third but it never came to light.

Her tv show would be ostensibly produced by Erick Kripke for his budget but actually it's all @gravegotten and me doing the writing and threatening Eric with an axe whenever he gets any funny ideas about women in the show.

[houndofgod]

Turning over the thought of an animated miniseries collection of short story type episodes that are each animated in a different style by different teams a-la The Animatrix

[houndofgod]

Bringing Clark back home from surgery this morning and he's so relaxed he literally feels like a plush animal 😭😭😭

[eladead]

Not beating the peacock allegations with the new feathers.

R☆ckstar☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆: "This one's a raven, darling. A harbinger of the doom you are not prepared for."

[houndofgod]

"I'll meet you halfway."

[houndofgod]

If Audrey had a comic Dave McKean would do the covers, art by Mike Dringenberg under the Vertigo imprint.

If she had a manga it'd be drawn by Q Hayashida, tho it'd be underutilizing her talents tbh.

Her anime would be produced by Madhouse, animation directed by Yutaka Minowa.

Western animation it'd have to be a Don Bluth Production, two movies and teased for a third but it never came to light.

Her tv show would be ostensibly produced by Erick Kripke for his budget but actually it's all @gravegotten and me doing the writing and threatening Eric with an axe whenever he gets any funny ideas about women in the show.

[dankomaksimovic]

ph. Danko Maksimovic - Milano, Italy (2025)

Film: Kodak Ultramax 400

[houndofgod]

26, 28 :)

Get to know the mun!

26. What is your least favorite holiday?

It's become Halloween over the last few years. It's to our generation what Christmas was for boomers, overmarketed and overmerchandised, a national tat trash generator. Which is a shame cause I love me a good costume party but seeing Halloween crap everywhere in August makes me want to commit arson.

28. Do you have any childhood heroes that aren't your heroes anymore? If so, why aren't they?

If I ever see Neil Gaiman it's on sight. I will not lie, Sandman was a formative comic series for me since hs and there's a lot about it that I still think is pretty cool (because I haven't read the Heavy Metal issue he ripped it from yet lol). His stuff was very inspirational for Audrey and her setting; I learned about the Hounds of God in the first place because of The Graveyard Book.

But even ten years ago when I was following his tumblr I started to get a weird feeling about him that something I didn't like was going on behind the scenes. When the rape and abuse allegations came out I wasn't one bit surprised.

This is why I will not interact with Good Omens blogs or content and I'm still deciding what I'm comfortable doing with Sandman related blogs. Audrey is a feminist character and I try to be a feminist writer; I do not want to engage with or support media I know was created by a rapist and abuser, especially one who worked so hard to present himself as a progressive good guy (and I do feel comfortable making that assessment looking back on his work). I know a lot of people have very mixed feelings about all this because he was such a big deal for so long but that's my personal line in the sand.

[houndofgod]

8. If a genie gave you three wishes, what would you wish for?

12. What's one book you've read that you would say has greatly impacted your life?

8. Healing touch so I could help so many friends and family with the bullshit they've got going on. Wallet that always has $500 in mixed bills in it. My dog to have a human lifespan. That's health wealth and happiness nailed down pretty well I think lol.

12. This is SUCH a tough question it's not even fair. The one that sticks out recently is Ursula K. LeGuin's The Lathe Of Heaven. I love her as an author for so many reasons but that book is a real gem. Just an incredible exploration of characters and the concept of trying to do the right thing when you don't know what effects your actions will ultimately have.

[houndofgod]

Have you ever had a first impression of someone that turned out to be wrong?

Get to know the mun!

Not very many, I've got a really good intuition about people. It's better in person where I can read tone and body language but it's still pretty good online, it just takes a little longer to get a read. I've absolutely had people I've ignored my instincts on and later been validated about tho. Every time I get burned by it is a lesson in trusting myself at the start.

[houndofgod]

Pretend you magically never had to do any more housework of any kind. Are there any tasks you would honestly miss?

Get to know the mun!

I love cooking very dearly, it's a meditative process for me as much as it is supporting my health and diet. I love making things that taste good and make my family happy when they eat them, I love making my husband's and my coworkers jealous about our lunches, I love learning about new techniques and flavors and combinations of ingredients to make new recipes, I love perfecting an old recipe, all of it is just ✨️✨️✨️✨️ I love cooking man.

The only downside is that once you've eaten it, you gotta fuckkin make it again 😡

[houndofgod]

What's one bad habit that was hard for you to give up?

Get to know the mun!

I used to be a terrrrrible nail chewer. Literally nothing worked to stop me from just wrecking my hands for years. My right index fingernail is still a little bit crooked because of it. It took working a job at a really dirty gift/bookstore in hs to break it, I just decided I couldn't stand putting that grossness in my mouth 😅

[crosshairsdemon]

Extremely thankful that I have the most gullible and trusting dog ever because he has needed so many pills this week. I don't think he understands that smooth peanut butter isn't supposed to have chunks, because he just sees the glob on our fingers and inhales it. I can squirt his gabapentin suspension in some chicken pate and trust utterly that he will scarf it down. All of my other dogs stopped falling for that trick after a few days--maybe they put crack in canned food now, idk. But he will also let us just squirt it into his mouth! We can even trust him not to rip the sock off without putting him in an e-collar. Genuinely the best boy ever.

Clark (AKA Mr. Booboosocks AKA Stinkbat AKA Stinko AKA Gork) gets surgery and/or a biopsy tomorrow to address the huge nasty lesion that randomly formed on one of his toes late last week. Fingers crossed it's only an imbedded splinter. BLOW HIM A KISS OR ELSE.