Sex, Claws, and Rock 'n Roll

Classic rock 'n rolling, Harley riding, supernatural pest slaying werewolf lady. Independent semi-selective OC written by Tora. 21+ Please read rules in pinned

[houndofgod]

I am not your rolling wheels

I am the highway

I am not your carpet ride

I am the sky...

I am not your blowing wind

I am the lightning

I am not your autumn moon

I am the night

Meet Audrey Schwartz, a monster hunter, psychopomp, hedonist and werewolf. What can she say, when you've been around for 400 years you've got to stay busy somehow yeah? So are you gonna sit in the corner and stare at your shoes all night kid? Life's too short for regrets!

To the tune of:

So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, it's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark, turn and face the strange changes, I traveled the world and the seven seas, might as well jump, someday you'll know where you are, hit me with your best shot, tap dancing on a landmine, don't give a damn bout my bad reputation, addicted to love

Rebooted in 2025 after being on hiatus for several years and I can't edit the original pages. Things have changed a bit tho so feel free to ignore those. Most of what you need to know will be here to keep things easy.

Rules || About || Mun || Tag Library

Affiliated with: @crosshairsdemon

Mains: @createdestroyrepeat @gravegotten

[houndofgod]

Happy Monday my dudes. I'm on the hook for house projects and work today, I might be present but it's not likely. Catch you later 🌻

[houndofgod]

OUH THE GHOST IN THE SHELL IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT

[houndofgod]

The music is SPOT fucking on they did such a great job

[houndofgod]

If you like classic Japanese cyberpunk, comedic drama action and unequivocally lesbian cyborgs, you've got to watch this

[houndofgod]

OUH THE GHOST IN THE SHELL IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT

[houndofgod]

The music is SPOT fucking on they did such a great job

[houndofgod]

OUH THE GHOST IN THE SHELL IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT

[houndofgod]

@crosshairsdemon "I know you think blood is my best color, soppy bastard." Said with utter love and affection.

[crosshairsdemon]

"One of them, yes," He said, grinning. His eyes fixed on Audrey's lips and the way her tongue moved behind her teeth. Her fangs. "But it should be said, you cut a striking figure in nothing but a fur coat."

[houndofgod]

Audrey smiled lopsidedly and hip-checked Han hard but caught his hand to spin them into a semblance of a dance. "You like me in anything," she said casually, still flushing slightly around her collarbone.

[houndofgod]

Mutual throat biting 😍

[houndofgod]

Post a picture of your muse so people can comment their assumptions about them!

Audrey Schwartz

Tagged by: @crosshairsdemon

Tagging: @createdestroyrepeat @cainevesson @d-d-disgusting @melniibone @kosiax anyone else who'd like to do it!

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone

[eladead]

🎸 hit me!

LESTAT'S MUSIC INBOX CALL! . -> OPEN

Out of Control by She Wants Revenge

I'm Not That Evil by NESYA

buzzkill by MOTHICA

Death Becomes Her by Cottontail, Lucy Loone

Bad Ones by Call My Karizma

[houndofgod]

KILLER I'M JAMMING

[houndofgod]

This little brat is more powerful than any tranquilizer, letting him fall asleep on me is dangerous😂

[houndofgod]

@crosshairsdemon "I know you think blood is my best color, soppy bastard." Said with utter love and affection.

[sculien]

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS 6.09

[houndofgod]

Any day I get to write Audrey being a scary monster is a good day 🤘

[cainevesson]

@houndofgod — plotted starter

A group of rogue demons went too far. It's uncertain if their goal was to lure Cain onto the map since news spread that he's, after overcoming his curse, still keen on killing fellow hellspawns. Or the lack of an apt ruler ignited the spark of boredom turning them into a wildfire. The former knight fails to care about the motivation. He left the comfort of his habitual surroundings to hunt them down, one by one, although sans rush. A few of them already fell and the rest flees. Now, Cain stands in front of an abandoned trail tunnel's yawning entrance while he still senses not only sulfur but foul intentions as well. There's no weapon in either of his hands— he prefers to smite those fellows, could've taken them down all in one go. But where's the thrill of the hunt in that? Slow footfalls send a faint echo through that darkness he enters ; like destiny catching up either way, Cain keeps a steady pace. No matter theirs.

Somehow they manage to stay quiet, hence why the melody he whistles travels with failure to reap responses. A couple of meters in, the threshold of light to dark already crossed some steps prior, he suddenly halts. Stops whistling. The noise he'd assign a beast careens through the miles long space, accompanies a symphony of clipped suffering. Whatever dies out of his sight? It doesn't agonize for long. Two of those demons come running around a curve, their pace abruptly slowing down when they see him and one cusses something along the lines of 'Shit, he found us?' under their breath.

Cain merely cracks a cold smile, then grabs them by their throats and murders them in perfect synchronicity. Red light blasts through their eyes and gaping mouths, choked screams momentarily drown out the beastly sound from somewhere deeper in that tunnel. And once the lights go out, Cain lets them drop dead onto the rails. That's when he elects to unsheathe his hunting knife upon marching further into abysmal darkness that smells of mold and sulfur. Nothing to see, nothing with exception of two golden beams high up— eyes belonging to something that well towers over him in height. And he stops again, disbelief creasing his brows. "A new hellhound breed", the executioner scoffs at whoever of the remaining demons would hear. "You've gotten quite creative."

[houndofgod]

Audrey howled with glee and bloodlust, grabbing a demon by its head in a massive paw and throwing it into another. Her clawed feet scored tracks across the packed gravel floor as she shifted her weight and her shape, letting her human body go in favor of something that almost scraped the ceiling with her ears when she stood upright. It'd been a while since she had gotten to hunt real demons, though this rabble hardly deserved the title. Still, there was a certain nostalgia to the feel of her staff meeting firmly with pit-spawn flesh, their human facsimile shells splitting in a firework burst of red and brimstone that burned in her nose and made her snort to clear it as she shoved her wolf cross pendant through their chests.

One clawed at her furry shin and she snarled, spinning and spearing it through, pinning it to the tunnel wall despite her staff's blunt end. The acrid taint of fear and unadulterated sin poured off of it and Audrey snapped her jaws with excitement in its face before pressing her cross, comically small in her beastly fist, to its forehead. Something like laughter clawed its way up her throat as it writhed, mixing and echoing with the demon's howls of agony off the damp tunnel walls into a horrific cacophony.

The last two demons read their odds and took the opportunity to flee, one maintaining speed despite a broken ankle. Audrey curled a lip and growled low in annoyance, ripping her staff free from the brickwork and twitching the last remaining flakes of ash from it. In a moment it dissolved into shadows that assimilated into her body as she moved smoothly onto all fours, dropping every pretense of humanity. Shadows crawled in and out of her fur and across her limbs, making it hard to tell where the darkness ended and her wolfish body began.

She cocked her head curiously. Bouncing down the walls bright and cheerful as a rubber ball was a whistle. Not from any human mouth, the only scent she could catch was the soft funk of mildew cut ragged by demonic tar. She sniffed again, stalking forward, a cautious growl already rattling in her chest as a fastidious figure turned the corner.

His words though cut her caution loose and went straight for her pride. She couldn't stop herself from laughing derisively at his mistake. "Go home for your glasses grandpa, I'm no hell-mutt." Her ruff bristled as her nose filled with the smell of him. There was no doubt he was a true demon, and old stock at that. Not something she'd have chosen to take on alone even under the best circumstances. Her shin throbbed and she blinked without thinking. "There's nothing for you here. Sod off."

[eladead]

R☆ckstar☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆: "Do not compare me to your husband, your marital affair is insulting to my freedom." Lestat snaps back, sneering at Audrey while shoveling the bodies closer to the edge of a podium. It wasn't an accident for Lestat to serve these people consequences of their actions, and it wasn't an accident that he was attacked in the first place. Talk about happy fucking endings. The rockstar grinds his molars, shaking his head. Audrey had one job: don't fuck this up when it comes to meeting fire with fire. Lestat's best guess is that the favor went punished by this mere detail: too many people. Butchered. Gutted.

Ugh!

He tosses his bloody hands up in surrender, shaking off the crimson layers and droplets. "Heavy lifting, HEAVY lifting, not heavy spraying." Lestat complains, wiping his face with a dirty sleeve. The stench of this kind of blood causes aversion. He sneers and shakes his head. Just then, Audrey transforms into the usual hellhound. By now, the vampire was supposed to have gotten used to being surrounded by enough oddities. He is much too occupied by his own layered gore that he almost misses the vibrating sound before a wolf glares back at him. He doesn't like the sight of her in this form. Lestat steps back, an action summoned by an ancient habit engrained in his very chest when eight jaws nearly mauled him. His lips press together, and a howl echoes in his brain. He doesn't show the shuddering chill that nips at his spine. The memories, though ancient, have earned him a name that has haunted him to this day: Wolfkiller. The vampire grimaces and hisses through gritted teeth:

"You want to keep the bonus, your next words are going to be a suggestion, not an order." The vampire's eyes pin the gilded pupils where he stands. He recalls his own strength, ten times what his human body used to be. Lestat forces himself to recall that it is no longer the village, or his villagers, or the howling nightmare prowling in the snow. He is The Vampire Lestat, capable of shredding bone of need be. At his fingertips, a fire prepares to dance. It calms him, somewhat.

"Clean it up." He speaks coldly. "I am going to shower myself. And shed the wolf face," he turns over his shoulder. "You're going to scare MY fans away."

[houndofgod]

Audrey would've laughed at being compared to the rabid emaciated curs of Hell. She'd locked jaws with them more than once and she took at least one Hail Mary and three Our Father's worth of pride in her far superior stature and skill, at least in her opinion.

However her employer evidently had enough pride himself to give a Saint a headache. Audrey snorted and let it slide. "Aye aye, there's no one like you," she said, thinking idly of one of her favorite songs. "I wouldn't dream of holding you up." She could tell already she might as well hold a train back with her bare hands. Not impossible, but not fun either.

Shadows twitched around her mane before settling in as fur a foot deep. She cocked her massive head thoughtfully. For a brief moment Lestat had almost seemed afraid of her in this shape. It was patently ridiculous of course, he was easily as old and powerful as she was, she could smell that much. It was frustrating she couldn't confirm much more than that though. That was one of the worst things about dealing with the undead, their greater flesh moved just fine but all the delicate mechanisms like glands and pheromones were relegated to decor. What had once been a vibrant landscape of reactive human scent was reduced to a static impression of leather, fruit sweet perfume and cocaine under a tide of blood.

He glared at her with supernova intensity and she met it candidly before finally allowing an intentionally lazy blink. Still, she had to pointedly suppress a small shiver that ran up her spine, and she reminded herself that nothing was keeping her here but a paycheck and her own will. She shifted her shoulders in an obvious shrug. "I suggest you trust me. Or have you got another cleanup crew on speed dial?" She padded to a corpse and sniffed it out of habit, finding nothing of interest. "Don't worry beautiful, your fans won't see anything if you give me fifteen minutes." Her tongue ran across her jaws like a great red curtain as she planted a paw on a spine, holding the body in place so she could tear the head off between her teeth in a single powerful jerk. It went down her gullet with comical ease and she licked the blood and grey matter off her lips before going in for more.

It was convenient she didn't have to worry so much about keeping the mess down, she thought to herself as a humerus resisted for one moment and then cracked like a twig before joining its partner in her belly. Lestat had already made the walls into a horrifying imitation of a Pollock in red. That'd be a pain to deal with later but for the moment she was up to her snout in a man's entrails and that suited her just fine.

"Off you trot, I won't peek." Not that she'd mind a good eyeful or more but she was still on the clock, there were professional standards to keep up. And though she'd rather swallow silver bullets than admit it, this job was bringing back feelings she thought she'd burned and buried fifty years ago.

[zapfish-juice]

Commi for @houndofgod hmmmm feral wolf lady...hmmm feral wolf lady...hmm...

[houndofgod]

I'm over the MOON you did my gal up so good 💖