- I finished Game of Thrones, and now I don't know what to do with my life. I have nothing to do. I actually did my homework last night, it was so embarrassing.
- I was planning on showing up for class and just causing a huge distraction
- You know it's bad if I do it
- Oh my god this is what a stroke feels like
- No I know, I just can't put words together
- It's like all my organs are mutiny-ing and just not doing their job
- I'm just out dating everyone, here. I'm a dirty little slut
- We had a quick breakdown in the girl's locker room and now we're back!
- All magic tricks are cheating if you look at it like that
- Ignoring the incest aspect, I would fuck a genderbent clone of myself
- Leave me alone, I'm a monster fucker
-That's an oxymoron! You can't just say that!
- My stuff got stuck in the vending machine, can you help?
- How would I help...?
- Help me hit it
- Help you... hit the vending machine...?
- Because I signed it. I signed the declaration of independence
- You know what an anti-christian movie is? Happy Feet!
- If I was trapped in a room with you and Hitler and I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot myself twice.
- Teacher: So really, June doesn't exist
- How has it taken you so long to drink that tiny soda?
- I take small sips. Like a cat.
- Nothing brings down your confidence like a pair of ill-fitting overalls
- What nationality is that?
- Sneezing
- I'm a thot I'm not horny! There's a difference!
- Fuck you I don't have a small penis like you do!
- It's a motif, Gerald!
- I've been eating the same sandwich for the last seven year
- Where's a bible? I need to throw it at you
- If someone gave me a thumbs down, I'd probably kill myself
- You've been chick-fil-a'd one last time
- I'm kind of upset that you didn't invite me to your cook out. I really don't think I want to be friends anymore.
- Did you just kiss his phone?
- Don't test me I have man thighs!
- I don't know if that was a scream of fear or ejaculation but either way I'm terrified
- I am not a furry nor a monster fucker!
- Yes you are! You play monster romance online roleplay simulators!
- I swear if she even looks at me in the hallway I'm going to punch her in the throat
- Senior: I think I Just became a teenager
- There weren't any towels in the bathroom, I'm just going to dry my hands on your shirt
- Pretty soon we're all going to be lactose intolerant
- I swear to god I'm not on crack! I swear to god I'm not on crack!
- Ohio is just like trees and heroin. It's the worst state ever!
- Not to be dramatic but I'm actually dying
- *Some dude straight up forgets to wear pants and is just walking around in boxers*
- I have prayed to god to sneeze before
- My new thing is I walk really slowly down the staircase and take up the whole space just to slow people down
- I just want everyone to not have ears! For art purposes!
- Just... drawing Christ in sacrilegious ways feels so good. I want to be excommunicated! Like Madonna!
- I think the mosquitoes love me more than you
- What? No! They love me so much more!
- Good.
- I'm going to take my car and drive it off a cliff
- Why are you so obsessed with porn?
- I'm sorry I'm just horny all the.... no, nope.
- No it's because you're ginger
- Jesus was the first Abba
- God can't be the five men from the well that you fucked
- I lost my shoe... It's on the ceiling somewhere or something....
- C'mon guys, whole squad waddle! Squaddle!
- I usually go to wizard practice on Thursday
- Whoever made Photomath is amazing. I'll take my hat off to them
- I'm gonna go talk to Turkey man, okay?
- Alright just don't tell him all my secrets
- Have you ever had your nose blown into?
- I love public school like so much
- Don’t lie
- What is it? That food kink thing? Vore? Is it vore?
- Its public school! One girl dyed her hair now everyone else is following the leader the leader the leader. We're following the leader...
- I cut my hair ‘cause I was bored
- So you were bored this weekend?
- No, I was bored this morning
- He's on a hoverboard, with a bike helmet. Leather jacket, no shirt. Just boxers, no pants. Barefoot.
- Do you think I would crack my head on the pavement if I jumped from here? (Math class on third floor)
- You look so cute today!
- Thanks! These are men's boxers! I'm in my pajamas!
- I thought there was a spider on my arm so I went to slap it, but I forgot I was holding my pencil and I stabbed myself and now there's pencil lead in my arm
- Every single reaction I have involves crying. Happy? Crying. Sad? Crying. Angry? Crying. It's who I am. I act like I'm hot and tough but I just cry all the time
- What do you have? Other than STDs, I mean
- English. Then math
- I don't think there are really any Jewish horror stories
- I dunno I feel like the Holocaust is kinda a horror story...
- Your brother is basically a cokehead at the point
- No he's not
- Not yet. Growth mindset.
- You don't understand. If you were the new worker at a fast food restaurant, and you weren't getting paid, it's like being drafted. In world war one.
- One of our Engineering Three projects is how to eat cheetos without getting orange all over your hand
- Teacher: water bottles just freak me out when they're not my own
- I was so fucking depressed and sad today that I actually went for a run. I could only feel the pain in my legs, not the pain in my heart. I run away from my problems.
- I still haven't gotten up enough courage to dive off the diving boards! It's scary!
- I don't have to understand how guitars work! Cause frankly, I don't!
- Teacher: I mean I love freshman but sometimes I'm like, I need you to not be freshman right now.
- I would not fuck a centaur, too much animal. Like a mermaid would be fine.
- Where would you fuck a mermaid?! They don't have any holes down there!
- I finished my goldfish and now I'm sad
- I've been listening to Rhianna all day and now I forget how to act
- I've had eight shots of espresso today. Literally my heart could stop at any second.
- Fiddler on the roof? More like Fiddler on the oof
- Fiddler on the an’ I oop
- Give me a break, I haven't written anything in a month
- I am not worth $200
- Of course you are dude! Look at you!
- Teacher: I don't use the schoology grade book because I think it's evil
- I'm information-intolerant. It's like lactose intolerant but I can't learn
- So in conclusion, I don't know US geography and I'm going to go jump off a wall
- If my dog was a person, with her personality, she'd hate me
- My personal culture doesn't vibe with eating dogs
- I'm a vegetarian at heart but I love meat
- Teacher to computer: Are you seriously frozen? Cause I'll just die, then...
- You were just looking at him so loudly I couldn't focus
- I told Charlotte that she flipped my mom off in the parking lot. She called me cheeky. It's been a great day.
- *distressed cry* I'm in hell. *throws black mood ring on the table* I thought I was having a good day but apparently not!
- (30 seconds later) *rolls up collar of turtle neck shirt* I'm so cozy now! *puts mood ring back on*
- Oh are you the only one allowed to be sad here? Have you made a monopoly over being sad?
- Colin's a self diagnosed eboy
- You know I saw an eboy in real life the other day! Like a real one!
- I'm gonna go jump off the roof
- Cheers to that, mate
- So have you ever.... been.... concussed before?
- No, why?
- I think.... I'm... concussed
- I haven't gotten an A on an English assignment since eighth grade
- I think all you can eat buffets are a dangerous game
- I can't remember a time when I didn't say homie
- Midday naps really are a dangerous game. And my alarm doesn't work on my phone any more, so I'm really rolling the dice with this one
- Teacher: I was about to do math by hand but then I realized there's no way I could do that
- And if you're sick for a week, who cares! You got to eat a cheese steak!
- What is a positive shape?
- Rhombus
- No that's negative. Circles have mad positive vibes.
- I'm sensing a lot of hostility coming from you
- Probably because I'm being hostile
- Is this conversation kosher?
- Time isn't real, it all blends together
- What do you guys talk about in Phil-lit?
- Absolutely nothing. And everything. All of the nothings.
- You were being annoying in class earlier so now I have to clap back
- There are no wrong answers, but you just gave one. Your answer was the embodiment of the Command Z meme
- I always have a Michael Jockson glove in my back pocket. You know, for emergencies.
romaincrisis
titsay
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
kaledo-art
snowghoul
