Drunk/Drinking Starters
âI do not get drunk-- I get awesome.â
âI didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. â
âWanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. â
âNothing tastes as good as drunk feels.â
âI've had... eleventy twelve beers.â
âI've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain.â
âI'm not as drunk as I use to was.â
âHalloween? More like Hallowe-âre getting fucked up.â
âWhat do you expect me to do- I'm drunk!â
âBut then I remember that alcohol existed.â
âItâs not called slurring your words. Itâs called talking in cursive and itâs fucking elegant.â
âIâm totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk!â
âIf you canât suck a cigarette, you sure as hell canât suck a dick!â
âI wanna bae you up.â
âYou're so drunk when I'm pretty.â
âIt's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wastedâŠâ
âI'm almost sober...â
âWe are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again.â
âWhy do people wear boxers? Theyâre just like small pants.â
âI am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels.â
âIâm in Pirates of the Caribbean right now..â
âTake me drunk Iâm home.â
âLetâs go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood.â
âYour kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit?â
âYour cat... has it always had a German accent?â













