Posts With Ways To Calm Down

I am a bisexual, female student at Columbia University. Originally, I created this blog to save all the posts I use to help my anxiety. Please don't hesitate to submit posts that you think others would also find helpful, and I will share them.

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Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

[lovelyplot]

This would’ve been great an hour ago

[h0lyhandgrenade]

This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadn’t thought about it this way before.

[officialaudreykitching-deactiva]

Everything is going to align, everything is going to make sense very soon. Trust the clarity you are starting to gain.

[gentle-reminder]

gentle reminder

you are alive and breathing; it might not feel great right now, but it will be better sooner than you realise - you will thrive with time

[howtocalmdown]

My New Youtube Channel

So I decided to start a YouTube channel, HowTheHellDidIGetHere, about my experiences applying to college and here at Columbia. If any of you would be interested here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0obdLaS6umN-aU587-s_FQ

If there are any videos any of you want to see, let me know. I was thinking I might also make videos on how I stay healthy (self-care/maintaining overall heath) in college and how to manage the excessive stress. 

[howtocalmdown]

My New Youtube Channel

So I decided to start a YouTube channel, HowTheHellDidIGetHere, about my experiences applying to college and here at Columbia. If any of you would be interested here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0obdLaS6umN-aU587-s_FQ

If there are any videos any of you want to see, let me know. I was thinking I might also make videos on how I stay healthy (self-care/maintaining overall heath) in college and how to manage the excessive stress. 

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hey everyone! it’s been a while since i made a masterpost, and i recently found some good health-related apps on the play store that i thought to consolidate into a post.

all these apps are available for both ios and android users! i’ve also grouped similar apps together.

fyi: these apps are not intended to replace your therapist/counselor – they only act as an aid. the apps listed here are those that seemed credible enough and had good ratings on the play store. some may help you and some might not. since i don’t have depression or panic attacks, i can’t speak for the efficacy of some of the apps here.

For stress, depression, anxiety, or panic attacks:

Rootd: exercises to help with anxiety and panic attacks, as well as lessons understand anxiety. it also includes emergency contact if you need help and a personal stats page.

Self-help Anxiety Management (SAM): exercises to help you manage your anxiety. you can also build your ‘anxiety tookit’ and chat with other SAM users.

PanicShield: for those who have panic attacks. it has a breathing tool to calm you down, information about panic attacks, and two techniques to train your mind to have fewer panic attacks (based on two types of therapy). 

MoodSpace: short, interactive mood workouts that may help treat depression.

InnerHour: a self-help app for stress, anxiety or depression. it has small daily tasks, helps you deal with distressing situations, helps control your stressful thinking patterns, and has a relief box.

Moodpath: an interactive two-week depression and anxiety screening program that tracks your emotional and physical wellbeing and generates a personalized mental health assessment that you can discuss with therapists.

Calm Harm: tasks to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm.

To generally improve your life:

Youper: conversations with a bot to improve your mood and emotional health. it also has mindfulness and meditation exercises, a mood tracker, journal and symptoms tracker.

Wysa: similar to Youper, Wysa is a chatbot who reacts to the emotions you express to help with anxiety, stress, low mood, anger or sleep issues.

Primed Mind: a life coach to help you reach your personal goals and improve yourself. it can help you build habits, calm down, fall asleep quickly, and study effectively.

Headspace: meditation and mindfulness exercises

Just Rain: a soothing audiovisual rain simulator where you can control the degree of rain sounds.

[gentle-reminder]

gentle reminder

i know it might be hard, but if you’d like to compliment someone, try your best to do that today - it might have the power to make their whole day brighter

[mypsychology]

For more posts like these, go to @mypsychology​

[psych2go]

20 Self Love Affirmations

1. “I am beautiful.”

2. “I love and approve of myself.”

3. “I choose to think thoughts that enhance my life greatly.”

4. “I am worthy.”

5. “I accept myself exactly as I am.”

6. “Forgiveness is the door out of my past.”

7. “When I forgive myself, it is easier for me to forgive others.”

8. “I accept that I cannot change anyone but myself.”

9. “My life is constantly improving.”

10. “I understand that in order to grow, change is needed.”

11. “I flow easily with life.”

12. “I am worthy of forgiveness.”

13. “All experiences are opportunities to grow.”

14. “I welcome positive change with ease.”

15. “I am deeply grateful for all of the wonderful people and things in my life.”

16. “I radiate good health.”

17. “I only give my body goodness.”

18. “I trust my intuition.”

19. “I lovingly think in a positive way.”

20. “I am at peace with myself.”

Reblog and share this with your friends if you find it helpful. Spread the LOVE! 

Follow @psych2go for more

Visit our website here

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Stand up for Yourself

1. Decide to stop being a doormat, a people pleaser or someone who gets pushed around.

2. Start believing in yourself. Work on developing your self-confidence, and setting achievable and meaningful goals. Decide tiy won’t be a clone of everyone else.

3. Develop a positive attitude. If you’re optimistic and expect to succeed – instead of being a victim or someone who gets used - then others will treat you with respect and dignity. In many ways, we create what we expect.

4. Get help for the wounds and the damage from your past. Often people who’ve been wounded and hurt by other people find it hard to develop inner confidence and pride. But there is help available and you can have a different life.

5. Trust your instincts. Not everyone is kind or a healthy influence. If you start to feel uncomfortable then trust your inner feelings and don’t allow that person to be part of your life.

6. Learn to be assertive. Being assertive is a skill – and it’s a skill you can acquire. It involves being able to say what’s on your mind – or to say “no” if you want to – while sounding confident.

7. Be willing to defend yourself or speak your mind. You have a right to your opinions and your personal points of view –so practise speaking up in a calm, confident way.

8. Pay attention to your body language. We communicate much more through our non-verbal cues than the actual words when we use we’re speaking to others – so use your body language to convey a sense of pride. That is, stand up straight, make eye contact and use a warm, but steady, voice.

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Calming Triangle.

This was in my recommended Gifs today so I thought I should post this.

It helps with breathing exercises if you are feeling panicked or need to unwind etc.

[finding-avalon]

Sunflower Cookies

[theselfcarelifestyle]

Don’t you trick yourself into thinking they’re above you. They’re just a person, just like you.

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How To Get Motivated #GetThingsDone

Find inspiration : For me inspiration can be easily found on apps like Tumblr and Pinterest.Other places that may inspire you are blogs,youtube channels or books.

Set a new goal : Whether that’s working out 4 times a week, reading 1 chapter of your fave book everyday or starting a new diet just set a new goal and preferably write it down.

Go through ‘older’ goals : Remember those new years resolutions? You probably have them in a bullet journal entry or written in your diary or even on your vision board.Go through them and remind yourself the reason why you started.

Plan some rewards: Rewards always get us going…am I right? Plan each baby step that you can take towards your goals and a reward for each step you’ll accomplish.Some reward ideas : some candy,an episode of your fave TV-Series , a movie,a date with your signifigant other or a meet- up with a friend! 

Find a mantra : Mantras are  phrases like affirmations.They don’t have to be long or complicated.It could be as simple as : ‘’I am the master of my own destiny’’ or ‘’Value my time’’ .  Make sure that your mantra is going to have a deeper meaning for you and it’ll motivate you to get things done.

Take baby steps: You don’t have to start big but you have to start right.Take a baby step,the smallest thing you can do to get started and then take another baby step and later take another one.I promise you that you will reach your highest productivity ‘’flow’’ . 

Hey friends!Thank you so much for all the love and support on my posts.I appreciate you and your feedback a lot! Don’t forget that you can send me messages anonymously or not for any questions that you have!I’d be more than thrilled to help you. Don’t forget to like and share!! See you on Saturday.

[missmentelle]

How to Survive Your First Year of College

1. Forgive yourself if your grades go down. If you made it this far in school, you’re probably used to getting good grades or top grades. I hate to break it to you, but that’s probably not going to be the case this year. College is a very different environment from anything you’re used to, and it takes some time to adjust to a world of TAs, labwork and professors who notice if you plagiarize Wikipedia. Almost everyone’s grades drop between high school and your first year of college. Relax. You’re going to be fine. Your dreams of medical school or law school are not over. Do the best that you can, learn from your mistakes, and forgive yourself if you have a crappy first year. It happens. 2. Don’t compete to see who can sleep the least or eat the worst diet. Everyone in college will compete to see who has the crappiest sleep schedule and who is the best at treating their body like a fast food dumpster. This is not a competition that you want to win. Pulling double-all nighters is a miserable way to live, and most of the people who do this have absolutely no need to. Frankly, most of them are completely full of shit. Get your eight hours of sleep and eat some vegetables. It doesn’t make you less cool, it just makes you feel human.  3. Don’t panic if you don’t have your whole life figured out. A lot of your classmates are going to come in to college with freakishly detailed plans for what they want to do with their lives, right down the law firm they want to article with or the company they want to intern at. Don’t freak out if you’re still trying to figure out what you want to major in. It’s okay not to know. College is about figuring out who you are and what appeals to you, not just fulfilling a career goal your parents planned for you when you were six. Try different classes, investigate different fields, talk to people. You’ll find something that catches your interest.

4. Go to your professors’ office hours. This is cliche advice that everyone hands out, but seriously, do it. Your professors are required to sit in their offices for a couple of hours a day, and most of them are spending those hours alone and bored out of their minds. Go visit them. Ask for their opinion on your paper topic, ask them about how they chose their field, tell them that you found part of the lecture interesting. If you’re going through a hard time and you need an extension on an assignment, go tell them. Showing up to office hours tells your professors that you give a shit, and makes them way more inclined to help you out. And forging relationships with your professors is what makes the difference between feeling like a student, and feeling like just another number. 

5. Remember that it’s okay to not drink. The movies make it look like every single moment of college life is spent double-fisting beer bongs while you do a keg stand, but again, that quickly becomes a miserable way to live and most college students can’t afford that. There’s a lot of pressure to drink in college, but if your drinking is starting to threaten your grades, safety, relationships or your ability to afford food that isn’t freeze dried noodles, it’s okay to admit that things are out of control and cut back your drinking. Anyone who judges you for that isn’t worth caring about. 

6. Get involved on campus. This is also cliche advice, but it’s way more important than it seems. You won’t meet friends in your classes the way you did in high school. Most of your classes will be enormous, you won’t sit next to the same people twice in a row, and most people don’t hang around to chat after class. Meeting friends in the dorms is a little easier, but there’s also a decent chance that you and your floormates won’t have much in common beyond “a computer algorithm made us live near each other”. Student organizations and clubs help you connect to people who share your interests, feel involved on campus, and form meaningful friendships that keep you from going off the deep end when things get tough.  Good luck with your first year!

[pastelparrotlet]

Life tips masterpost: how to make things easier edition 1

Now obviously if you can’t do some of these things for whatever reason (mental/physical illness, financial) don’t feel like you have to, these are just some tips I felt made my life easier and thought might help you, even if it’s just one or two.

-Ten minutes before bed: lay out clothes for the next day.  Pack bag, fill water bottle, lay out keys/phone/jacket, check the weather.

-Freshen up for dinner.  Wash your hands, touch up makeup, comb your hair.

Keep reading

[minus-the-negative]

Be a rebel with a cause.

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