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if you're a bird, I'm a bird ian michael harding actor . birdman

[hqimh]

jbgyllenhls‌:

I’m just lucky to have Brie around or I wouldn’t have a mind to lose. It’d be completely gone. Have you pricked your finger on a needle, Ian? Is this how you know? Don’t worry, you can tell me. I’ll keep it a secret. Right? I feel like I’ve been robbed. I’m the epitome of a Disney princess. It’s about time I got my own Disney movie.

only if you pinky promise that you won’t tell anyone... alright yes I did try. didn’t work and it hurt like a little fucker I’m telling you. you are and I believe if you just put it out into the universe enough, you’ll get your own Disney movie, not some one in a Marvel franchise but an honest to god movie about yourself. you’re a Disney princess in my books.

[hqimh]

itstroibxlls‌:

Me? Nah? You were born with it. We just need to get Tyler and Keegan to come so maybe you can have some back up. You’re just so much fun to tease, it’s great.

you speak as if they wouldn’t make fun of me the first chance they get either. can’t a man just have some nice fun watching some birds? we’re not so young anymore, can’t go drinking and partying every night. glad to know I can provide a source of amusement for you bells. 

[hqimh]

hqedwards‌:

i’m not sure what just happened but you mentioned disney and now i think you’re the cutest thing? if that’s my ticket to finally becoming a princess, i’m doing it tomorrow. do ya have any recommendations for said feeders, love? 

I knew that Disney line would reel people in, and thank you very much! that’s very sweet of you to say. it definitely depends on how many birds are in your area and what you’re looking to attract. hummingbirds, for example are an excellent start and it’s relatively easily because you don’t have to deal with any seeds. but stop by whatever local animal store you’ve got as opposed to those chain stores so you can get the best quality and best advice. 

[hqimh]

itstroibxlls‌:

Are you going to turn into a genie now and grant me some wishes? Aw, Ian, I miss you too! We definitely need a cast reunion soon, don’t we? I feel like I haven’t talked to the gang in ages. Ah, I’m just teasing you about the birds. I can’t not tease you, it’s how we work.

you’re going to be the reason that I have more gray hairs soon, I just know it. and a cast reunion sounds great! not like ash and luce haven’t taken a jab at me already for the bird-watching but it’s nice to see none of you girls have changed one bit. ah yes, you’re like the other annoying older sister life decided to give me.

[hqimh]

ratajkowskiem‌:

more than anything you’ve reminded me i need to revisit the movie bucket list i did make in college because i am fairly sure i never actually finished it. and i’m sure it has some trash movies i can fall asleep to. and hopefully a hidden gem. probably one or two movies i’ve now said i’m never going to watch, for no other reason being able to watch people’s faces when i say ‘oh i’ve never seen that’. i bet you’ll have a lot of people thanking you for those two tips. personally i prefer watching paint dry on a blank canvas. or following the raindrops on the window. nice to meet you ian. i’m emily.

any good ones you’ve got written down on there? oh man you’ve gotta save a couple though because they’re the best for icebreakers. my personal favorite to say is I’ve never seen any of the rocky’s, couldn’t tell you anything about them even if I tried. well it’s very nice to meet you as well emily, are you the one doing the painting in general or is it someone else?

[hqimh]

xlucegoose‌:

I’m sorry but I can’t seem to tell if you’re an eighty year old man or a twelve year old girl, cause you most certainly are not the thirty-three year old man that I love to bits.

not you too, I thought you were supposed to be on my team here. and don’t you know? I’ve always been an eighty year old man, I just happen to have an excellent skincare regimen I go through each morning and night. ten step process too.

[hqimh]

kristinexfroseth‌:

How did you just make birdwatching sound somewhat appealing and not deathly boring? I dont really know, but you Ian, should add witchcraft to your resume - because it seems like thats a talent of yours if you can manage that. 

because apparently being passionate about something can make it easier to talk highly about that topic. witchcraft? does this mean at last I’ll finally get my letter from hogwarts telling me that I can go to school?

[hqimh]

fckcillian‌:

This might just be the PSA I needed. I’ve never thought much about birds but after that pitch I think I need to get my hands on a bird feeder. There’s some birds back home in Ireland with some funny names that I’d like to see for myself. Like the tit, the great tit, the coal tit, and the Eurasian blue tit. Really, I just wanna tell my friends I saw some great tits outside today and when they’re confused as all hell, I’ll send them a picture of the birds. Which is very much a dad kind of joke, but I guess that’s just where I’m at now. Making terrible puns. It’s good to meet you Ian! I’m Cillian. So, what did your interest in birds come from if you don’t mind me asking?

make sure that you visit your local pet store as opposed to a chain one because they’d be the most helpful when it comes to the proper things you need to see some beautiful tits. and see? bird-watching brings so many new opportunities for dad jokes like that, though I would advise to not send that to your mom... my own was NOT IMPRESSED when I sent it in our family group chat. it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance cillian, big fan. and my interest in birds came from when I was little, my family would go on these walks to look for birds and it was just sorta our thing we were able to do because we moved around a lot. 

[hqimh]

ashvbenz‌:

Oh my gosh, you are such an old man, Schmian.  You are the only “young” person I know that actually enjoys something as boring as bird watching.  Do you tell the neighbor kids to keep quiet too?  

but SCHMASHLEY, bird-watching can be all the rage if you just give it a try. also for your information, I respect the neighbor kids and therefore they respect me, so long as all noises stop by 9pm sharp because an old man needs his sleep.

[hqimh]

xdovecameronx‌:

I am bored and losing my mind, but no to the other questions. Birds? What made you get into birds? I’ve never met anyone that’s into an animal like that, so that’s pretty interesting. I mean, I kinda am a Disney princess in a weird TV movie way, but it works. Nice to meet you, I’m Dove.

yes, birds. I’ve been bird-watching since I was little, family thing we did growing up until I got to be “ too cool ” for birds... ahh adolescence and peer pressure. anyways, when the whole acting thing took off it just felt... nice to return to my roots so to speak? I mean surely you’d be an expert for sure so I’ll leave it to you on that decision on the whole Disney princess thing. hi Dove, see? perfect name to get into bird-watching.

[hqimh]

roostrijd‌:

i think my time to shine has come. watch me braid my hair- find the most blue dress i own and waltz around like elsa of arendelle. i’ve only ever seen the movie twice but might as well just go for it. in all seriousness though. i’ve seen that you can apparently craft your own hummingbird feeder. if i give that a go and it’s a success i will for sure give you credit for feeding the thought. it’s nice to meet you ian. i’m romee.

I can see it all now because it all began with two sisters, one born with magical powers, one born powerless. their love for snowmen... infinite. ( don’t know if any of that would make sense if you haven’t seen the second but I highly recommend you watch it if possible. ) and you can! you just have to be careful when utilizing it so please use real sugar and not some sort of artificial sweetener. and it’s very nice to meet you as well romee, please do keep me updated if you decide to!

[hqimh]

aubreyplazahq‌:

I’m sorry, are you seriously suggesting we watch birds all day? Is this really a a commercial spot to buy bird feeders? I’m on to you, Ian and I’m not falling for it. I don’t need birds out here harassing my dogs and scaring the goats. I don’t know why they’d scare the goats, but go with it. Nice to meet you though, Ian. I’m Aubrey. I’m more of an evil queen.

while I’m not sure if birds and goats can coexist, there’s no harm in trying! and just think Aubrey, if you’re an evil queen then you can be like Snow White in one of the Shrek sequels, can’t remember which one, but she was epic when she pretends to be all sweet and then sicks the animals on the unsuspecting villains. I don’t condone violence, but I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing something like that happen, you could have a whole animal army. 

[hqimh]

itstroibxlls‌:

I really should, shouldn’t I? We used to be neighbors, it’s not very neighborly of me to keep my baked goods from you. Okay, but eating greens keeps me looking youthful and pretty - bird watching just makes you a nerd. A lovable nerd, but a nerd nonetheless.

and you know, like a good neighbor statefarm is there... that didn’t make any sense did it?  the point of the whole story is I miss you a lot and you don’t need any greens to look youthful and pretty because you already do look like that. this lovable nerd is pretty content with being a bird-watcher and if it means I’m ready for retirement then sign me up.

[hqimh]

wtfyvonne‌:

You had me at birds, and absolutely sold me at Disney princess – apparently that’s all it takes to get me on board with something, though I think the birds alone would be swayed it eventually. Is this your way of telling people that you are a Disney princess? You learn something new every day. Hi Ian, I’m Yvonne – are there people who don’t wish they could fly?

I just knew someone out there understood me, birds truly are magnificent and perhaps it is, though I’d have to clear it with my publicist first to make sure I sound as eloquent as a Disney princess. hi Yvonne, pleasure to meet a fellow bird enthusiast and I suppose those who are afraid of heights would disagree but that just means more room in the skies for people like us huh. 

[hqimh]

jbgyllenhls‌:

I always feel like I’m losing my mind. Not a day goes by where I don’t think I’m getting crazier and crazier. Man, I wish I had nothing to do but when you’ve got two little kiddos to look after your life is constantly on the go. What’s sleep even? No idea. It’s a whole new concept to me. Okay, wait. I’ve always wanted to be a Disney princess. Are you telling me you know how to make my dreams come true? You’re the best, Ian. Can’t wait to officially be a princess so I can frolic around with a flower crown and sing to birds.

oh man, well I don’t know how to explain this to you but sleep is the thing your kids are supposed to do, or so I’m told. it’s that thing that princess Aurora does you know? when she touches the spinning wheel but I highly would not recommend achieving sleep by pricking your finger on a needle, does not work. my question is, how are you not a Disney princess already? I can see it now, you’d be so graceful and majestic frolicking in a field of flowers, a deer by your side and bunnies hopping around your feet. CHASE YOUR DREAMS my good man, chase after them.

[hqimh]

hqmanny‌:

See, from what I’ve heard about it, it’s only like 3% about animals, man. The rest is like murder for hire and drug addicts and expired Walmart meat, for some reason? Sounds way fucking out there, just psycho enough to get me hooked. Sup Ian, I’ve seen you on Chicago Med, right? Us NBC shows gotta stick together. Netflix stand up specials are the best! Have you seen any of Jo Koy’s shit? Dude is fucking hysterical.

how’re you going to call it tiger king and not feature more tigers? isn’t that, what the kids call “clickbait”? truly disappointed, rating 3/10 stars for no tigers. yeah, I am! nice to formally meet you dude, I thought graceland ended far too early and I hope one day you guys can get back together to finish it the way it deserves. I haven’t actually! I just finished lobby baby which is seth meyer’s stuff and it had me laughing so hard, I swear I saw my abs get more defined.

[hqimh]

hqmanny‌:

I dunno man…are people still talking about Love is Blind? I feel like the answer is no cus it’s all about Tiger King now but like, hey, I got a five year old and I can’t exactly watch any of that stuff with him running around, right? Especially the Tiger one, from what I’ve heard about it. Is it worth watching when Mateo’s back with his mom? If not, hit me with recs. I’m Manny, by the way! I play a pretty scary dude on NBCs Good Girls but I promise, I’m nothing like Rio. Like not at all. Zero.

@hchqstarters​

see, I can’t get into tiger king mainly because I watched half of one episode and couldn’t understand a lick of what was goin’ on. I’ve heard some bits and pieces about the show too and it didn’t seem TOO intriguing to me if I’m being honest, and I’m the guy who would usually be down to watch some animal documentaries. hey manny, nice to meet ya. I’m ian and you should definitely watch some stand-up comedy on Netflix if you’re bored, that usually hits the spot for me.