harlequinade!

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

Zucco couldn’t suppress a grimace. Arkham seemed definitively like a fate worse than hell & yet… there Harley was. Reminiscing. “Yeah…” Zucco spoke, letting the world trail off. He may as well have tugged on his collar in uncomfortableness. “Well I mean -” He cut himself off, determined not to launch off into a petition of all the places better than Arkham. There were, after all, worse places. “Evidently.” Zucco shrugged, imagining the feat was beyond his grasp. “I really can’t.” He shook his head. “Homicidal - sure; genius - more than likely.”

Harley cocked her head to the side, watching Zucco’s facial expression shift and change. It’s something she remembered doing often as a psychiatrist, and now analyzing people seemed to be kind of a hobby, even if she rarely found people as interesting as she did at the Asylum since she hung out with looneys all day every day. She just smiled at him brightly, figuring he wouldn’t understand how beautiful memories of true love could be. “He sounds fun. And he has the funds to do it, go him!” 

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

“That doesn’t surprise me at all.” Zucco said in relation to Joker knowing Batman the best out of anyone in Gotham. Especially out of the criminal circle, Joker would surely be the one with the most clocked time enticing the Caped Crusader.  An attention whore if there ever was one, though Zucco could safely say that he wanted none of the Bat’s. “Well, I mean, there was a whole funeral & everything. But who can say for sure right?” Zucco clicked his tongue & gave a small shrug. “Prison. Same place you got busted out of I think. – Wait no, I take that back, I definitely saw a news bulletin about that yuppy getting transferred to Arkham.”

One corner of her lips curved upwards as she studied Zucco’s facial expression. Maybe he really was dead. Then again, she had never seen him up close and she’d heard a lot from invulnerability to laser eyes. The word ‘Arkham’ made Harley’s eyes light up a little. She thought back to how she’d wished herself into the cell she’d inhabited there while she was in Belle Reve. Arkham was the closest thing she had to home. “I miss Arkham sometimes.” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “It sparks fond memories, you know?” Harley took a moment, then focused again. “So he pulled the strings on killin’ Supesy? Can’t imagine that, can ya’?”

[hrlqnd-blog]

Whack-A-Bat | Harley, Batman, Joker & Nightwing

[hrlqnd-blog]

gothamsfavoriteson:

Bruce could feel a shard of glass slide up his throat as he swallowed. He let out an elongated sigh, head tilted back against the headrest of the Batmobile. “Shall I leave a glass of orange juice & a syringe of Acetaminophen out by the computer, sir?” Alfred’s voice crackled through the connection. Bruce half-heartedly rolled his eyes but gave no immediate response. “I’ll take that as a yes then & leave you to it.” The words were given crisply in the patronizing way only a British accent could provide. Bruce chuckled but his mouth had gone dry. The perilous silhouette of the Batman’s infamous car sat shrouded in shadows along Old Downtown Gotham. The district was still lined with Christmas lights that argued that the season wasn’t quite over as snow flakes fell passed, giving the whole city an ambiance it didn’t necessarily deserve. It was peaceful, Bruce could admit to that. & not even the unnerving sort of peace that promised chaos the moment one felt comfortable in their own skin. 

Something played over speakers set in the square. It was hard to hear the tune when incased in the armored car, but Bruce had the sneaking suspicion that it was something out of Bing Crosby’s catalogue. Bruce’s gloved hands were still on the wheel, indulging himself for only a moment but he never stopped listening. He was waiting for the snap of a metaphorical twig. Given Gotham City, it would’ve been a siren screaming into the night. In either case, Batman was poised for action, not for a moment lulled into a false sense of security as the city began to settle down around him. A flash of green along the dash had him reaching for the volume like a reflex long sense perfected. A silent alarm had been triggered. 83rd & Main. A squad car had yet to respond but just as Bruce’s hand was pushing the car into drive, an accidental filed through. Regardless, Bruce began to drive. — A person hurled themselves, on foot, through an intersection, looking over their shoulder only once before disappearing. Following their trajectory backwards, the Batmobile took a sharp left. Sharp even at a low speed as the tires collected snow in the deep tread creating a soft ‘thump, thump’ noise as they rolled’. “Take your time with that shot; looks like Harley’s out for a stroll.” The words rolled melodiously from his throat as they always had, in shine & shadow. He’d expected exactly this. “How generous.” Came the quick response. So much for leaving him alone on the line. 

Crosby, it was definitely Crosby. Pistol Packin’ Mama wavered across the avenue. The snow was falling fast enough to somewhat cover his tracks as he distanced himself from his vehicle. He’d left it parked in the middle of the street, facing west as he doubled back around so that he could face east. From the corner of his eye, he waited for the appearance of the ever-expected green hard maniac, but for now his focus was on the harlequin. The woman was by no means trying for subtly. She’d seen the car & still the bags of stolen goods swung from her arms. 

“Batsy, Batsy, Batsy…” 

Bruce’s eyes narrowed.

Evidently she hadn’t learned from their last encounter that he was no longer in the business of showing her any sort of watered down version of whatever violence he could conjure up. Not that it would be necessary. Harley, while nasty, was usually a much different animal when she didn’t have the Clown at her side. She twisted around & he was there, having edged ever closer. “You left a lot scared people back there, Harley. – Drop the bags & the bat & we can see that you end up in Blackgate instead of right back in Belle Reve.” Word of Joker’s break-in & subsequent break-out of Harley Quinn had broke two hours after the ordeal had happened. It was on every station for a week straight, Bruce had hoped they’d have the sense to stay low for half that time. No more than a few yards off from her, Batman stood stationary, feet planted, his expression unforgiving if it could be called anything at all. His body was wide & dark & heavily corded with muscle. If he looked imposing in the dark of an alley, he looked simply unnerving when surrounded by a blanket of white. “Let’s not make this difficult.”

“Aw, come on, B-man!” Harley threw her head back and sighed audibly, like this time she hadn’t expected him to show up. They hadn’t met since he’d brought her to Belle Reve, and these days she felt like she was above the law. After all, now Mr J knew where the prison was, so if she ever was to go back there, he’d bust her out with a snap of his fingers. Besides, she had just saved the world! Maybe she’d expected a thank you card from the Batman for doing his job so well, but that seemed to be too much for most people. Being good wasn’t rewarding at all. When she looked back at the man in the batsuit, she sighed again, this time at his serious expression. How could anyone lead a life like that, always frowning and worrying about things? “Don’t be so stuck up! Why can’tcha’ let me have a little fun!” To bystanders, she looked like a pouting little girl that didn’t get the doll she’d wanted for Christmas - yet the bags and the weapon remained in her hands. The blonde was getting ready to make a few jokes, then leave the scene via the fastest exit route she could think of, goodies in hand, of course. Yet when he mentioned both prisons he had thrown her in, the grip of her fingers around the bat tightened just a little. “Difficult!” She laughed, out loud, hysterically, slowly taking steps backwards, one after another, feet light on the concrete like a dancer.

She's a terror, make no error but there ain’t no nicer terror.

He surely didn’t think spending four years in a prison nobody seemed to know the location of was difficult. Well, as far as she knew, he didn’t have a sweetheart as of late, so he wouldn’t know what it was like - what he had done to her. How she had fasted and thrown herself against an electric fence, well aware of what that would do to her in the long run, because the pain of loneliness was eating away at her heart. How he always stood in between her and Mr J, always made things difficult yet interesting. She was still laughing, not out of sarcasm or bad intent, or to scare him even, but because those memories were so incredibly funny to her. She remembered it all in such a haze, like it wasn’t even real until her man had taken her back into his arms. Once she stopped shaking from laughter, Harley took her time to carefully place her bags into the light coat of snow on the pavement, always keeping the Bat in good view. “Have I ever made anything difficult for ya’?” Standing back up, she batted her lashes at him. “You know, Batsy, I hoped you’d stop by. Ya’ always make things more interesting, ya’ know that?” Rocking herself back and forth between her tiptoes and heels now, she gripped the engraved bat with both hands. “Why don’tcha’ play with me, just a little? Please? I know ya’ want to.” The sweetest smile graced her lips. 

Lay that pistol down, babe, lay that pistol down.

With another vicious smile, she raised the bat, ready to swing a hard hit at him, but as soon as he moved, she did too. The snow made it easy for her to get a little momentum and slide her slim body right past him to quickly get back up and swing at him for real this time, right across the side of his thick skull, or the armor that was protecting it, anyway. The next hit, she expected him to catch, he was pretty quick with his moves, after all, and gracefully cartwheeled back a few feet just to pull her signature gun out  of the holster and aim it at him. Two pigtails, one pink, one blue, flew through the air around her face as she moved quickly. Admittedly, Harley had never been the best shot. Two of the bullets missed him, one got stuck in his heavy, black armor. Eyeing her bat, now carelessly thrown to the floor, she thought of a quick move to grab it and have it meet his muscular body again, somewhere it would hurt. She was visibly all about this, a bright smile on her lips and the occasional giggle cutting through the air while she played with what she would call her prey later when she’d return home. For one thing, Harley Quinn wasn’t afraid of anything. On her mind, there was no possible way this would turn out bad for her when she knew the clown had her back. And who knew? Maybe one of these days they would finally succeed in trying to kill this masked monster. Why not start trying now?

[hrlqnd-blog]

leadinglois:

“I suppose you’re right about that. I can’t dismiss your doctorate degree just because you also happen to have been incarcerated on more than one occasion.”

“If it isn’t about money, then what is it about?” For a moment, Lois’ brain switched into ‘reporter mode’: her tone of voice to the point, with a sprinkle of curiosity. If this was Harley Quinn’s way of trying to prove that she wasn’t someone of ill intent, then Lois Lane was hardly convinced. 

“You know, most psychiatric professionals seek help at the looney bin themselves.” Harley shrugged. “Call me crazy all ya’ want, that’s what they all do. But ain’t nobody callin’ me stupid.” 

“If we have somethin’ in common, Miss Lane, it’s that we’d do anything for love.” She winked at the reporter. “It’s about wreakin’ havoc. Ya’ really think Mr J has ever robbed a bank for money?” Out of the blue, she started laughing hysterically. "I just wanted to see if I could twist ya’ mind a little. See what’s goin’ on in there. As i said, I know the feeling.”

[bunchofrpmemes]

Bold all that apply:

[hrlqnd-blog]

gothamsfavoriteson:

bunchofrpmemes:

My muse knows how to…

bake a cake from scratch | ride a horse | drive stick | speak a second language | dance | catch a fish | play an instrument | throw a punch | build a deck | ice skate | unclog a drain | program a computer | change a flat tire | fire a gun | sew | juggle | play poker | paint | fly a kite | sculpt | write poetry | change a diaper | sing | shoot a bow and arrow | ride a bike | swim | sail a boat | do a back flip | play chess | give CPR | pitch a tent | flirt | stitch a wound | read palms | use chopsticks | write in cursive | use an electric drill | braid hair | make a campfire | make a mixed drink | do sudoku puzzles | wrap a gift | give a good massage | jump-start a car | roll their tongue | do magic tricks | do yoga | tie a tie | skip a rock | shuffle a deck of cards | read Morse code | pick a lock

[hrlqnd-blog]

Whack-A-Bat | Harley, Batman, Joker & Nightwing

Broken glass made sandy sounds beneath Harley Quinn’s heels as she strut through the boutique. She held multiple pieces of expensive clothing dangling from her shoulder, her eyes darting along the jewelry section’s glass displays, expression relaxed yet joyous. The obligatory baseball bat rested in her other hand as she twirled it around, clearly happy to put it to good use again soon. Behind the counters, various men and women sat on their knees, one or another daring to risk a glance at the mayhem the clown lady had left so far. Harley’s lips twitched into a smile when her gaze met a gold necklace right next to an expensive watch and, setting down her clothes first, she swung the bat up into the air before hesitating and making it stop right before it shattered the display. She regarded the anxious viewers, cocking her head to the side, then laughing. “Don’t worry!” She exclaimed loudly, her voice innocent, friendly - like she wanted to make friends in this store she just destroyed. “I already told ya’ - I’m just here for a little shopping spree.” She spoke, particularly, to a young woman in a store uniform who was about to cry, watching Harley twirl the bat in her hands. “I shouldn’t be so selfish and get something for ma’ man, aswell, right?” With that, she smashed the glass display and sent razor sharp pieces flying everywhere before reaching in and grabbing the jewelry. Triumphantly, she turned and walked over to the register casually. “Can I get a bag with that? Huh?”

Two big paper bags with the store logo printed on them in one hand, the bat in the other, the blonde stepped out of the completely trashed store, every step of hers dragging a little more of the chaos out onto the street. She was surprised that she couldn’t hear any sirens yet, and there were no cops in sight. What a lucky day. Her lips were curved into a smile as she started humming a cheerful tune and set off to get home and surprise a special someone with some gifts. Yet as she walked, a suspicious car caught her attention. All black and sort of bulky, like a mini-tank, but prettier. A giggle escaped her. “Batsy, Batsy, Batsy...” She turned around to see if she’d spot him, already planning the best route for a quick escape, hand tightening around her weapon. It had been a while since they’d met, and last time, while it had been fun, it hadn’t ended too well for her. She was playing with fire and she might burn herself. But that exactly was what made it so fun.

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

“You know him better than I do.” Truth be told, Zucco had never had a face-to-face with the Bat. Seen him, sure, once or twice as he ripped through a shipyard. Lower-level guys getting picked off like ants, Zucco, however, existed somewhere in the middle on his slow burn towards the top. “What have you missed?” Zucco’s lower lip pouted out as he tried to recall anything significant. “Supes is dead, that’s something. Lex Luthor, big-shot kid from Metropolis, got tossed in the slammer for some such bullshit. Gotham Knights didn’t make the World Series anddddd - that’s about it.” 

Harley grinned widely. Yes, she had gotten to know the Bat up close and personal. She giggled, thinking back to what happened when he had pulled her out of the water. He was so disgustingly good. Never capable of letting anyone die. What a pussy. Then, she shrugged. “Mr J knows him best, really.” Another laugh. “S-Man is dead! I heard about that. Are ya’ sure, though? Maybe he just had enough of savin’ people and took a vacay.” Weird thought. Maybe, just maybe Batman would be next ... “Prison? Or the looney bin?”

[hrlqnd-blog]

leadinglois:

“So, the fearless, and - I hope this isn’t offensive - immoral Harley Quinn doesn’t drink? Out of everything that’s happened in the past week, I must admit that that is one of the most surprising things I’ve heard.”

“And no, if you think I’m going to pay you to state the obvious about what I feel right now, I’m not. You’re better off mugging me if you want my money.”

“Who said that now? Ya’ think ya’ know me, you haven’t seen nothin’.” Harley shrugged. “It’s just not gonna make the pain go away, is all.”

“Well, I could  —” For a split second, she glanced at Lois’ handbag, considering that Supes wasn’t around to save her and all, but then, “but it’s not about money. Don’tcha’ see?” She twirled just a little, just slightly proud of the couple of pieces of jewelry she’d gotten since returning to Gotham. “I’m just sayin’. Gotta have a little somethin’ in here” She tapped her temple, bending forward just slightly, “to get a gig at Arkham.”

[hrlqnd-blog]

aceofknavess:

“I was reading this book on Stockholm Syndrome the other day. I hated it at first. It was cruel, depressing. But by the end, I really sympathized and started to enjoy it. Heh.”

[hrlqnd-blog]

leadinglois:

“Make sure to keep an eye out for my latest publication, titled ‘Coffee After Hangovers: Getting High After Hitting a Low.’  It’s an autobio.”

“Aw, your pain must be unbearable, huh? I know the feeling, except my man came back even though everyone thought he was dead! Let me tell ya’, alcohol is not the answer. In fact, I could recommend a very good psychiatrist.”

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

“I’m sure you & your boy’ll change that in no time.” Nolan said, the words encouraging but the sentiment wary. He smiled nonetheless. “Goddamn. Black-site huh? Gotta remember not to kill any of the Bat’s sidekicks. But hey, at least you made friends right?”

Harley was a good observer - after all she was a psychiatrist - and she could tell that even though Zucco encouraged her with words, he was somewhat wary of what was about to come. It made her laugh. Seemed like they were still the scariest couple in Gotham. She nodded at his words, then shrugged. “Guess we got him good with this one. But it’s still Batsy, I don’t think he can stay mad for too long.” Especially considering he’d saved her from drowning before bringing her to prison. “So what have I missed out on, huh? Fill  me in!”

[vogueweekend]

Visit Original Link

[hrlqnd-blog]

sclina-kylcs:

Selina shot the girl an empathetic smile. She was bizarre and outlandish, blonde, and admittedly a little off her rocker at times, but even still, Selina did like the girl. She was brilliant in her own right, and as loyal as they come. She respected her for this. “M’sorry,” Selina apologized, her response sounding on a the halfhearted side as she propped her chin into her palm. “Well, give ‘em hell, at least. Go big or go home, no?”

“Exactly right!” Her grin was devilish but honest, as she twisted the bat in her hand, visibly triggerhappy tonight. “So, what did I miss while I was gone?” Harleys eyes widened in curiousity. “Update me a little, won’t ‘cha?” After all, she had been in prison for longer than expected, several years - Batsy must have been a little mad still about the Robin incident when he snatched her up. 

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

“My mistake then.” Zucco said, unsure if her exuberance made him uneasy. “I did not. Now it makes sense. How long were you cooped up this time?” 

“Ha! You better get ready for a harlequinade! This city seems so quiet.” She pouted, visibly pushing her lower lip forward. Then she shrugged. "I forget. Couple years? It’s this hush-hush top secret prison, too, ya’ know? Real difficult to find. They got a couple cool people in there, still.”

[aceofknavess-blog]

Rescue Mission: Joker & Harley

[hrlqnd-blog]

hrlqnd:

aceofknavess:

“Arrival, two minutes.” 

After successfully borrowing Ivy’s intel, a hijacked, military chopper was in course for Belle Reve, an undocumented prison for terrorists. It was supposedly unknown to all but a select few. However, no knowledge was unobtainable with the right resources and the right amount of grease. Completely covered by a black Kevlar suit and matching helmet, he appeared nearly identical with the small battalion that accompanied him. Except ‘Joker’ was stamped across the chest of his armor, a rather gaudy display of his narcissistic need to be unique, to be recognized. He never could resist showing his infamous face, placing a personalized brand wherever he erratically strut. 

Despite the deafening sound of the main rotor blade, his heart beat heavily in his ears. He had searched for years, exhausted every resource he acquired. And finally he had found her. Attempts to cloud his mind with distraction had proved effective at first. Yet at night all he could think about was her. Guilt gnawed at the clown prince as he lay in the bed they once had shared. Restless nights turned into sleepless nights. He was lucky to get two hours most evenings.  Though he couldn’t comprehend his feelings for his former psychiatrist, he unwillingly needed her. Though he would never willingly admit such a thing. The little minx somehow had managed to worm into his twisted lifestyle, managed to learn his secrets, managed to become his queen. It started as a game, a challenge maybe? What once was a simple escape from Arkham became a partner in crime.

“This is Alpha 152 requesting to land, inmate onboard, over.” 

“Alpha 152, cleared for landing, over.” 

The barrel of a pistol rested on the temple of a profusely sweating pilot, forcing him to comply with their previously arranged demands, ensuring they were to arrive unscathed and holding the element of surprise. As soon as the landing skids hit the ground, Joker gave a single, discreet nod. The lackey holding the pilot hostage pulled the trigger without hesitation. Blood and pieces of brain matter sprayed the window of the cockpit. Heh.

“FLOT team, go.”

The first wave of men exited the aircraft, drawing enemy fire and taking down guards at the entrance of the immense prison. Lashing a pointed tongue across his teeth, his fingers twitched wildly at his sides. Common ticks he experienced in particularly stressful situations. He was unaware of how much time passed before another order was issued.

“Extraction team, go.”

Having studied every detail of its layout, the troop easily navigated the seemingly impenetrable structure. The plan had been well rehearsed. A tight formation was centered around Joker as they trotted across the grounds, maintain a human barrier to protect their boss from stray gunfire. Arriving at their destination, a man in front of him reached into his backpack and withdrew a homemade explosive device. Small but vastly effective. The adjacent wall crumbled underneath the power of the explosion. A loud boom echoed in the chamber where she was kept, debris littering the floor. The guards were quickly disposed of. A separate man rushed forward, wielding a portable table saw. A shower of sparks flew as the blade ate away at the lock on her cell door. Impatience ate away at him during those few seconds before the mechanism finally gave way.

“Asset acquired.”

He noticed that his breath began to quicken, mouth slightly parted. She appeared unharmed. God, she was stunning. He practically ripped the cell door open whilst his men stood guard outside the bars. Removing the helmet, he dramatically revealed the identity of her rescuer, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Stretching his arms open, he offered an embrace. 

“Miss me?”

Harley Quinn sat on the mat she called her bed these days, a faint smile on her lips as she held a romantic novel in one hand, a small cup of espresso in her other. They were very good to her now. Her hair was done up in tidy knots on either side of her head, her clothes were the usual ugly, orange overall they gave everybody but they were clean and smelled like detergent. They had even given her fuzzy, pink slippers. Slippers! She glanced down at them, unfolding her legs to waggle her feet in the air and laughed to herself. They allowed her to paint her nails red and black, which reminded her of better times - any time she she raised her pinky drinking a sip of her beverage. They’d even allow her to apply make up. After all, she’d saved the world - but the more she thought of it, it hadn’t been half as fun as blowing up parts of Gotham.

How did Batsy do it? Being good was so boring.

It wasn’t that she was happy in here now, it wasn’t why she suddenly decided to stop refusing their food and stop attacking their guards - real pussies, by the way - so they wouldn’t take everything away again one by one like they had when the bat had first brought her here. It was because outside of these walls, she had nothing. Without her puddin—

Without Joker, she had nowhere to go, nowhere to be. No aspiration but this coffee machine and the thoughts she dove into whenever she needed to hear his laugh to soothe her. Before, she’d rebelled because the thought of returning home to him had taken over her mind so immensely, there was nothing keeping her there. She thought, if she couldn’t escape, if she couldn’t flirt her way out or kill everyone, she’d starve herself. But she wasn’t dumb. She’d seen the torture methods they’d used on her long before she’d come here and still, she’d endured it all. She had learned a lot from her man, and the most important thing she learned was to see a funny side to everything. But now ... now she was alone in this world. She was oddly content. They had replaced her bed and given her nice things. Where else would she aspire to go?

Taking the last sip of coffee, she lifted herself up and placed the book onto her mat carefully. Swaying over to the machine, she programmed it for another one, and watched the machanism spring into action. Hands folded in front of her, she waited patiently and was just about to grab the cup when a loud bang deafened her ears and made her jump back against the bars with a shriek of surprise exiting her lips. The familiar sound of gunfire cut through the air next, making her crouch and shift her body into the corner. Still her eyes were wide, trying to see what was going on through the thick smoke that rose from the explosion that had just burst open the wall. Soon, the gunfire stopped, and all guards that had stood around outside her acage had dropped to the floor. The men approaching her new home looked exactly the same, no telling who they were from the outside, thick helmets and black security suits on.

One arm held in front of her face, she allowed herself to  stand up, yet remained in the corner as they got out a saw and got to work on the cage door. They were breaking her out. She ultimately thought of Ivy, yet knew this approach wouldn’t suit her at all. Harley could feel her heart pounding against her chest like it wanted to leave her body through her ribcage. She was occupied with staring at the armed men while one seemed to approach her, and finally caught her attention. Now that the sounds of them breaking in had died down, she could hear a rough breath through his helmet and just as he removed the part covering his face, she decided to read the word stitched onto the front of his suit...

A shriek escaped her as his face came into vision - the face she’d longed to see and embrace for so painfully long, the one she thought she’d never see and kiss again. White skin, tainted lips. Obligatory tattoo across his forehead. Those eyes, that way he looked at her. A concerned expression only she would indentify shifting to a smile, that smile, the one smile. Her voice broke as she yelled, “Puddin’!” and wrapped her arms and legs around his strong frame as she jumped up onto him, pressing her eyes shut to stop herself from crying of shock and utter, utter happiness. She felt an overwhelming desire to tell him how much she’d missed him and how she loved him more than anything in this world, but he had taken her breath. Yet again.

[ssquadupdates]

[hrlqnd-blog]

nolanzucco:

“What’s wrong? Clown got you down?”

“Down?” Her eyes widened, then she broke out into laughter. “Never ever. You have no idea how high he’s got me. He broke me outta prison, ya’ know that?”