You know, if I could talk to my younger self โ say, my high school self, I'd tell her not to worry. She might think she's breakable. She might think a simple problem could destroy her. But guess what, my dear self, the world is huge. If you only knew the things I saw and the places I've been to, you'd be ecstatic. We've been to Japan, twice. You wanted to go there, right? We've also been to Singapore, Malaysia, and recently, to Hong Kong. While I was climbing the Big Buddha in Lantau island, I saw it. Everything was so small, it's like, I'm on top of the world. Months ago, I was drowning in sadness, but it doesn't matter now. All that feelings cannot be compared to the beauty this world has shown me. It's going to be okay, the world is on our side. You might be clouded by mundane concerns right now, but later on you'll realize that life will always bring you something to cheer you up, and you gotta accept it with gratitude. Stop doubting yourself, and just go for it. You might think you're weak, so you'll ask God to give you strength and wisdom. Guess what, I've received what you've always prayed for. I guess after all that trials, I've become strong and wise. Kinda, haha. I don't regret praying for that, I'll keep doing it. I'll keep praying for strength, wisdom, and guidance even if it means more pain and suffering. You're stronger than you think, and we're going to make it. You're so different from me now, I used to be so scared of everything. I'm so scared of making irreversible decisions, but guess what, you can't move forward with that. You have to take risks, and move forward as fast and as often as you could. Right now, we're opening a new chapter. I've decided to leave behind everything that's insignificant for our goal. Can you still remember that promise? You wish for happiness, and I'm going to work so hard to give it to you. I have to apologize because I've been sidetracked, you know. I've been distracted by irrelevant things I forgot our promise. I'll make you happy from now on. You know how they say life is a rollercoaster? LOL, you better enjoy the ride while we're at it. I'm going to get everything I want. Well, except for love, of course. It's off-limits. You might ask "why", and you might think it's romantic when you force your way to somebody's heart like in Itazura na Kiss. Please, stop watching dramas like that, that isn't real life! When you fall in love, you'll want to see that person happy even if he's not beside you. You'll willingly give up and disappear from that person's life just so he can find his happiness. You never force things. You'll learn that in a few years, and painfully so haha. But its fine, you'll survive like you always do. Right now, your 28-year old self will strive hard to make it all happen, so brace yourself. And to my 40-something self in the future, I hope you'll have everything you ever wanted. Happiness, a selfless and true love, peace of mind, and people who genuinely cares about you. I will leave behind everything that's making me miserable, and we'll have to begin again. I'll take responsibility for this, so my future self, all you have to do is be happy. I'll work hard to rebuild everything again for you. We can do it, ganbatte!
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