Harry’s Girlfriend

I hate it here so I write secret moments in my mind. Welcome to my inner life. I’m a writer. Welcome to the Harry’s Girlfriend multi-verse. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/erry

[hsfan94]

Masterlist

Angst

I do love you

Angst and Fluff

I do love you pt. 2

Glitch

Fluff

I'll Take Care of You

Poorly

Sweet Nothing

Dress

Christmas/Holiday

Wrapped in Red

Christmas Prank

Series

New Girl: Part 1

[hsfan94]

letters to santa was ADORABLE OMGGGGG🥹🤏🏼

Thank you 💕🥹👉👈

[hsfan94]

Letters to Santa

AN: This is a bit late because I've had wifi problems. I'm also not totally happy with the execution of the idea but I hope you like it. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!

Dear Santa,

My name is Harry, I'm 30 years old and all I want for Christmas is my best friend, Y/n. (For the seventh year in a row.)

Harry had just finished filling in the blanks on his letter and was looking down at it thoughtfully, when Niall spoke up behind him.

“Come on lad, this was meant to be fun and you’ve gone and made it sad.”

They had been out doing their Christmas shopping when they came across a station for kids to write letters to Santa. Niall pulled him over to it enthusiastically, insisting they write one.

“Well, what did you wish for then?” Harry turned to him pointedly.

Niall cleared his throat and then read, “Dear Santa, My name is Niall, I’m 31 years old and all I want for Christmas is a nerf gun. I never had one growing up and they look like so much fun.”

“Noted,” Harry said, rethinking his idea for Niall’s gift. “Alright let’s drop them in and get going.”

All throughout lunch with Niall, his mind wandered to his request of Santa. Was it too much? Had he wanted it for too long? Should he move on? Niall would never judge him, he just always encouraged him to move on, but Harry couldn’t.

Harry and Y/n met when she was fresh out of Uni. They became instant friends and decided to live together. Harry didn’t expect it to be so easy to fall in love with someone when you see them every day and know all of their worst habits. He’d tell anyone who would listen that Y/n didn’t really have any bad habits, but they’d just shake their head and say things like “you’ve got on rose colored lenses”. He denied that he felt more than platonically for her for so long. But then, one day she brought someone home for the first time.

Harry could hear sounds in the hallway. He realized it was y/n giggling and trying to unlock the door. He can only imagine what her date was doing. He imagines that, at least if it was him, that he’d have his hands on her waist and be kissing her neck from behind while she worked the door open. They finally entered and didn’t see him sitting on the couch. It was as if someone had shoved knives into every crevice of his body when the unidentified stranger closed the door and then pressed her up against it, pushing his tongue in her mouth. Harry sat there frozen for a minute, maybe an hour, before clearing his throat loudly. 

Y/n had flushed a scarlet red. 

“Harry, I-” She pushed the man off her so fast. “I’m so sorry I- I thought you’d be out with Camille.” 

Maybe he was being delusional, but she had seemed like she felt guilty. His heart clenched again at the mention of his now exe girlfriend. They had a date tonight, but she had called this afternoon and said she wanted space. He asked why and she responded that she felt they both had feelings for other people. It stung at the time but sitting on the couch now he realizes she was right.

“We um…” He couldn’t tell her everything in front of this stranger, so he just settled on “Rescheduled for this weekend.”

“Oh,” she said, dragging the stranger toward the hall as she spoke. “Well, we will just be… going to my room then.” 

Harry couldn’t sleep that night.

He never dated anyone seriously after the realization sunk in. He had tried but no one could take Y/n’s place. He would always just be on dates and wishing he was at home watching movies with her instead.

He tried not to let the all-consuming love he had for her interfere with everyday life, but it was rough around the holidays. Especially the last two years. She’d been seeing this bloke, Johnny he thinks his name is, and he doesn’t mean to be a Grinch, but it really puts a damper on his holiday cheer to think about her spending the day with someone else.

So here he is unintentionally moping about the holidays when Y/n comes bursting through the door.

“Harry? Are you home?”

He figured she knew he was and was asking rhetorically but he answers anyway, “In the kitchen, love.”

He’d been baking some of her favorite Christmas treats.

She stumbles in looking a bit forlorn.

“What’s wrong, lovie,” he says as she climbs up onto one of the stools.

“Oh,” she says, sighing, “Just, Johnny and I broke up.”

Harry feels a cheek splitting grin form on his face and he has to really try hard to push it away.

“That’s a shame, what happened?”

She looks up at him just as he feels his face go back to normal.

“We just realized we wanted different things, well he realized anyway.”

He rounds the island to give her a bone-crushing hug and says, “I’m sorry. But I’ve got some of your favorite Christmas treats ready to cheer you up.”

She peers up at him resting her chin on his chest.

“You’re too good to me.”

He walks over to the oven to pull out the tartlets, the last of the baked goods, and while his back is to her, she speaks again.

“Let’s make a deal, let’s do Christmas eve just the two of us, yeah? We’ll bake cookies, sing Christmas songs, and do a gift exchange. It’ll be just like our first Christmas together.”

His heart clenches at her use of the word together but he powers through. Turning around to face her, he replies “Sounds wonderful, love, I can’t wait.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n had proposed the Letters to Santa charity drive to her boss in June. Early, she knows, but she knew there would be a substantial amount of work that would go into the buying and giving the presents part. She had seen a few of them growing up and she thought it was so kind of the community to come together for kids in need at Christmas. Due to its placement in the mall though, it got a lot of stragglers’ attention and so Y/n had to tack on extra hours to weed out the “in need” letters from the ones that were just people getting into the holiday cheer.

She hadn’t accounted for the possibility of her friends walking through the mall and dropping letters in.

After seeing Harry and Niall drop in letters, she felt so giddy to go through the box that day. She was excited to tease them about whatever they put down. But when she found Harry’s, it was no longer a laughing matter. He asked Santa for her and he clarified that that’s all he’d wanted for seven years. She felt tears brimming at her eyes. She genuinely had no idea he felt that way otherwise they might have gotten together sooner. 

So, that night, when she had a date planned with Johnny, she ended things with him. She bounded through the door of her and Harry’s flat, giddy to tell him. But before she could get too carried away an idea struck her. He asked for her for Christmas. So, she should wait to reveal that she knew and then actually give him what he wanted for Christmas. That was the whole point of the Letters to Santa anyway. So instead of telling him everything she just told him they broke up. She didn’t miss the smile that took over his face for just one second before he went into nurturing friend mode, but she pretended she did.

But after her plan had been set in motion and all she had to do was wait, Y/n realized this was going to be the longest week of her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe he is too optimistic, but Harry had done some decorating while Y/n was at work today and he strategically placed mistletoe in a few places. It wasn’t too obvious, just there as a decoration and if the opportunity didn’t present itself that was perfectly fine with him. 

When she gets home, a Christmas envelope with his name on it in her hand (which he thinks is strange because there is already a gift wrapped under the tree for him), she oohs and awes at the decor. 

“Harry, it looks so lovely!” She does a dramatic spin around the room to look at everything. “You did all this yourself? For me?” She turns to face him, expression set in a soft glow. 

“Yes. Do you like it?” He feels a blush creep up his cheeks, slightly embarrassed at the effort he went to for a quiet night between friends.

She surprises him by bounding up to him, stretching up on her tip toes and placing a kiss to his cheek.

“I love it!” She pulls back and looks at him brightly. “Do you want to do gifts first?”

He simply nods because it seems like she wants to do gifts first and she can have everything she wants.

She grabs him by the wrist and drags him over to the tree, where they have big, soft floor pillows set up for this exact reason. She plops down first on the green one, so he takes the red.

“Here!” She thrusts the Christmas envelope at him.

He takes it and looks at it.

“What’s this, love? You already have something under the tree with my name on it. I told you not to spend too much.”

She sighs dramatically.

“I can spoil you if I want to. Besides, I did my shopping too early, and a better idea came to me last week.”

A mischievous grin takes over her face, allowing for the slightest bit of worry to settle in his stomach. Is she going to prank him on Christmas?

Harry carefully opens the envelope and pulls out its contents. The worry is quickly replaced with immense dread at the sight of his letter to Santa.

“Y/n…” he starts, shaking his head, “I—” He really has no idea what to say and instead he goes to stand up.

Panic flashes across her face and she’s quick to plant him right back on the floor.

“No, wait, Harry, there’s more. You have to flip it over.”

Confused, he does just that and there is writing on the back.

Dear Santa,

My name is Y/n, I’m 28 and all I’ve wanted for the last seven years is to be able to tell my best friend, Harry, that I’m madly in love with him.

Harry re-reads it at least four times before it sinks in. A giant grin takes over his face before he is flinging himself at her, tackling her to the ground.

He presses kisses all over her face.

“You,” kiss, “little” kiss “shit.” Kiss.

He pulls back just enough to look her in the eyes. “You’ve been keeping this from me for a week?”

“Well, I wanted to tell you that day but, you asked for me for Christmas, so I thought I’d give you what you wanted.” She’s smiling brightly too.

“I would’ve taken you a week early too.”

He feels her shiver at his words, and he feels excitement course through him as the thought washes over him too (even though he hadn’t meant it that way).

“I know, and it was a hard choice, especially when I saw how happy you were when I told you I broke up with Johnny,” she says carding her fingers through his hair, “But like, we only get one opportunity for our first time saying ‘I love you’ and isn’t on Christmas better than a week early.”

“Good point,” he says. Then he leans down and connects their lips for the first time ever and it is complete magic. Harry feels his toes curl when she slides her tongue in his mouth. Before they can get carried away though he pulls back once more. “I love you, so much.”

She giggles and his heart soars.

“I know,” she says, “I love you too, so much. I wish we had told each other sooner, but I’m so thankful that Niall made you do a letter.”

“Wait a minute…” Harry sits up completely. “You saw us fill them out too?”

“Yeah, it was kind of my big project, I’ve been working on it since June. I just happened to be on my way to restock the supplies when you guys went over and then that afternoon, when I read yours, I—” she starts to tear up again remembering how she felt. “I couldn’t break up with Johnny fast enough.”

It’s Harry’s turn to laugh brightly.

“Come here,” he says gesturing towards his lap.

She wastes no time climbing into the crook of his legs.

“It’s your turn to open mine, but fair warning it probably won’t beat this.”

She leans forward to grab it from under the tree and his arms snake around her waist to hold her close.

She pulls the package up onto her lap and when she settles back against him, he presses delicate kisses to the side of her head.

She peels the wrapping paper off too slowly for his liking but when she finally has it open, she starts to deflate. It’s a copy of her favorite poetry collection, one she already has.

“Harry—” She flips through the pages just a bit and discovers the real meaning behind the gift.

“I bought it earlier this year and annotated it as I read. When you announced your breakup, I went back over the things that reminded me of you in red ink, so you’d get the hint too. However, your idea was way cuter, so I understand if—”

He’s cut off by her lips on his again. She drops the book on the floor and rotates herself so she’s straddling him. His hands come up to her back and he pushes her closer.

When she pulls away tears are streaming down her face.

“This is,” she says picking the book back up, “the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. You are just the absolute best and I love you so much.”

“Don’t cry sweet thing,” he says. He runs his thumbs under her eyes to wipe at the tears. “I’m glad you like it, it felt kind of cheesy. I originally got you a new collection of hers but when I realized I could make a move I did this too and then I started to worry it was stupid.”

She shakes her head aggressively.

“Not stupid at all. I love it so much,” she says kissing him again.

After a moment she comes up for air again and starts to stand up.

“Where are you going?” Harry says, eyes trained on her.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to make some cookies!” She looks around the room and spots the mistletoe placed above the arch of the kitchen. “Better yet,” she says, grabbing his hand and pulling him up too, “let’s cross off something on my Christmas bucket list on our way to the kitchen.”

Harry smiles fondly at the memory from their first Christmas together when they made festive bucket lists. Y/n had put “kiss under mistletoe” pretty high on it.

He stands up and follows after her excitedly. He has a feeling this will be the best Christmas yet.

[hsfan94]

Wrapped in Red

AN: Merry Christmas lovies! hope you like it.

Y/n had figured out how to finally tell Harry how she felt. Since he told her he was going to break up with Olivia, she had been trying to find the perfect way to come clean.

They had been friends for a long time. Y/n met Harry through Gemma back in 2017 and she'd had a crush on him for even longer. She had never intended to tell him she loved him because she always assumed she'd get over it. When he was with Olivia, however, she realised she would never be happy with anyone else, especially since she's so close to his entire family.

One thing was for certain, she could not lose him and that was why it had taken so long to figure it out. She wanted it to be subtle enough that she could brush it off if he didn't get it or if he didn't feel the same, but obvious enough that he could understand and if he felt the same hopefully he would make a move. So, when she found out that she was not only invited to his family's holiday celebrations this year but that one of the activities was karaoke, she knew just what she had to do.

So, here she was sitting next to Harry while Gemma and Michael made an absolute mockery of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' in front of them. She turned to look at her love and his head was thrown back cackling. He was so beautiful. She leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"H, stop. This is a very serious performance for your sister."

She couldn't keep her faux serious expression in place long as he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Oh really? She tell you that?" He smirked.

"Yes, actually. She told me it was a dream of hers to best you this year in the entertainment department." She said it with a smile and he busted out laughing again.

Just as he was about to respond the song ended.

"Y/n you're next," Gemma spoke into the microphone.

"What?! I thought Anne was next."

"She was but you and my brother wouldn’t shut up so I changed the order." Gemma gave her a knowing look and Y/n felt her anxiety heighten. She had told her her plan and now that was proving to have been a bad idea.

"Okay. Just give me one second, I'll be right back."

She ran out of the living room and into her guest room to change. She slipped on a red silk dress and fastened a Christmas bow to her hair. She looked herself over in the mirror and whispered, "here goes nothing" to herself.

When she walked back into the living room everyone went silent. After a beat, Gemma and Anne started fake catcalling her, which dissipated her anxiety a bit and caused her to laugh.

"Thank you, thank you," she spoke into the mic at them. "I chose my song very carefully this year and I really hope you like it." She made eye contact with Harry as she said the last bit.

"Everybody's happy, snow is falling down." She looked at each guest as she sang. "Prayers are bein' answered, miracles all around."

She started to loosen up and made eye contact with Harry again as she sang, "From afar, I've loved you, but never let it show and every year another December comes and goes."

She was pretty sure he had already caught on as his eyes went wide.

"Always watchin', never reachin', but this Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall."

She really let herself get lost in the words. She threw her head back and let her hips sway.

"So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white, you'll see me like you've never seen me yet. Wrapped in red." She motioned to her dress on the last line, eliciting laughs from the crowd.

"Blue is where I've been. Green can't buy me you. Silver bells remind me that mistletoe's for two." She saw that Harry had relaxed some so she started walking around the room this verse. "So I found a color that only tells the truth. That paints a picture of how I feel for you."

Now she was stood right in front of him, singing to him alone.

"This Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall. So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white you'll see me like you've never seen me yet, wrapped in red."

She opened her eyes not realising she had closed them and saw he had the biggest smile on his face. So, she finished with a burst of confidence.

"I'll never feel you, if I don't tell you." He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"This Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall. So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white you'll see me like you've never seen me yet. Wrapped in red. Wrapped in red."

The music slowed to a stop and the room burst out into cheers.

"Thank you guys." She sat down as if nothing had happened.

"Was that what I think it was?" Harry said from next to her.

"That depends, what do you think it was?"

The others, who sensed that the conversation they were about to have was a private one, scurried off into the kitchen.

"You love me?" He said.

"Yes. I'm sorry if this is totally the wrong way to go about it, public and cheesy, but I thought I could brush it off easier this way."

"How long have you known?"

"Since you started dating Camille." She bit her lip. "I just always thought it would go away. I didn't want to lose you or Gemma but when you were with Olivia," she could barely say her name, "I realised I'd never be able to. So, when you two broke up, I started planning how to tell you."

"I wish you had done it differently."

"You're right this was a terrible idea." She started to get up to run away, feeling embarrassed.

"No, that's not what I mean." He grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the couch. "I wish you'd said something sooner because then I could've done this." He leaned in and kissed her briefly then pulled back and said, "sooner."

"Oh." It was all she could say.

"I've been in love with you since Gem introduced us practically, but I thought I didn't have a chance."

"Really? You thought you didn't have a chance? Have you seen yourself?"

He laughed at that and nodded.

"I have." He scanned over her body and said, "But have you seen yourself? 'Sides, you never made a move so."

"Agree that we're both stupid and move on?" She giggled.

"Just come here." He pulled her into another kiss. This one much longer and deeper.

"Merry Christmas Harry," she said when they parted.

"And to think all I got you was a t-shirt," he said.

She busted out laughing.

"It's okay. It's already the best Christmas ever."

And it really was.

[hsfan94]

Christmas Prank

An: I ran out of time to make this as great as I wanted but I hope you like it. Merry Christmas lovies!

Y/n had been wanting to pull a prank on Harry for a while. It all started when he got her good on his birthday this year.

“Happy birthday, Harry!” She sang as she skipped into their bedroom with fresh chocolate chip pancakes for him.

“It’s not a very happy one, Y/n,” he said.

“What do you mean, my love? You just woke up?”

“We need to talk.”

“What?” She started to panic. She set his food down next to him. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I just don’t think I want you to be my girlfriend anymore.” He sat up and took a sip of the coffee she brought him. He seemed so unbothered.

She had no idea where this was coming from.

“What, why? Since when?” She felt her heart drop.

“I don’t know. I’m just kind of tired of calling you my girlfriend.”

He leaned over and opened his bedside drawer. She couldn’t focus on his movements though as her whole world was falling apart.

“Harry, where is this coming from? Did I do something wrong? I love you, I can't live without you.”

She started sobbing and that caused him to pull her to the bed next to him. She could feel something in his hand on her back but she couldn’t open her eyes.

“Lovie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have listened to Niall.”

Now she was really confused.

“Huh?” She pulled back from where her head had been buried in his neck to look at him. He was pouting at her.

“He said this would be a funny way to do it and it would catch you off guard.”

He pulled his arm from behind her back, revealing the object in his hand to be a small black velvet box.

“Oh.” She saw where this was going and although she was livid, she was also speechless.

“All I want for my birthday is for you to agree to be my wife, although now I think I’ve ruined my chance.”

He opened it up to reveal the most beautiful ring ever.

“I’d love to be your wife. I’m so glad you don’t want to break up.” She kissed him. “However, this was horribly mean of you so I don’t know when, I don’t know how but I will get you back.”

He smiled and put the ring on her finger.

Despite being so excited to officially be the future Mrs. Styles, she still owed her fiancé some payback.

Harry was on tour until the 13th so he asked her to do the shopping for him and that was his mistake. He gave her a great idea. Y/n bought real presents, the ones Harry had on his list, as well as gag presents for Anne and Gemma. She had called them a couple weeks ago when she was out shopping to let them in on it and get their help. They were excited to be a part of her plan. She had everything wrapped up and in the car ready for their drive to Holmes Chapel and he was none the wiser.

Now, everyone (Anne, Darren, Gemma, Michael, Harry and Y/n) was sat around the living room about to exchange gifts and Y/n was practically buzzing in her seat.

“Baby, do you want to give your mum and sister theirs first?” She leaned her head back to look at her fiancé.

She had been sitting on the floor with Harry on the couch behind her with his legs on either side of her shoulders. Her head was resting on his knee as she peeked up at him.

“Sure. Will you hand them to them?”

She nodded and practically jumped up to give the gifts to her in-laws. She winked at them as she handed them their gifts.

“Harry picked these out for you guys.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

She sat back down, this time on Harry’s late so she could look at his reaction up close.

Anne went first, slowly pulling the tissue out of her bag. Before showing the family what it was she gasped in excitement for dramatic effect.

“You picked this out, Harry? How did you know I’ve always wanted one?”

“I sure did. And you talk about it all the time.”

Y/n snickered and Anne took that as her cue to keep going. She pulled out an intricately laced black teddy. Y/n looked at Harry because his grip on her leg had tightened. His eyes were blown wide and his cheeks were starting to pink.

“I love it. Thank you both very much.”

“I- I-“ He stumbled on words.

It was priceless, Y/n thought.

“Gemma, you go next,” she said. Her arms, which were draped around her fiancé, pulled him closer in an attempt to seem unbothered.

“Darling, what happened to what was on the list?” Harry finally whispered in her ear.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” She looked at him and brushed his hair back. Then, she turned to her future sister-in-law and said, “go on Gem.”

Gemma didn’t drag it out as her mother did. In fact she took a completely different approach overall. Pulling out a red laced teddy she looked at her brother with a horrified expression.

“Harry! How do you think these are appropriate gifts for your family?”

“I- I don’t. I don’t know what’s happening.” He looked at Y/n as if waiting for an explanation.

“Please darling, you and I both know that’s not true. You made the list and I did the shopping.”

Was this gaslighting? Maybe she was taking it too far but she was getting a kick out of it.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, pure shock on his face. He looked around the room a few times.

After Y/n felt she’d had enough she busted out laughing. Anne and Gemma followed her.

“Baby, I’m sorry. But I never got over your proposal so I wanted to get you back. The real presents are still under the tree.” She pulled him close and kissed the side of his head.

“You should have seen your face, Harry,” Gemma said, a huge smile on her face.

“What? You guys were all in on this?” Harry was shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as if it was some kind of dream.

“Sorry, love but your missus called me and Gem a few weeks ago and told us about how she wanted to get you back and the idea seemed really fun. You seriously owe her a new proposal.”

Harry seemed to have gotten over it as his hands snaked around Y/n’s waist and pulled her close.

“You’re so mean.” It was mumbled into her neck but everyone heard.

“So are you.” She laughed. “That’s why we fit.”

He pulled his face from her neck and smiled.

“I guess I do owe you a do over.”

He gave her a soft quick peck on the lips.

“Alright enough. You guys can open your real gifts now. Thank you for playing along.”

The rest of the day was spent opening gifts, drinking hot chocolate and talking about what happened this year and what’s to come in the new year and Y/n was sure she’d never been happier.

[brycesgirl]

X

[hsfan94]

New Girl

Chapter 2

Y/n had been living with the guys for about a month and getting to know them when they invited her as a plus one to their friends’ wedding. Niall and Louis had been adamant that she join them because Harry’s exe would be there.

“I just don’t understand why you lot need me to go. Can’t you just keep him away from her on your own?”

She had told Niall in the kitchen that morning that she didn’t want to go to a stranger’s wedding.

“You don’t get it. She will toy with him and flirt until she knows she can have him. The only way to deter her is to make her think he’s moved on,” Louis spoke before Niall could.

Y/n was stunned because that was the most he’d said to her so far. To be honest she wouldn’t mind pretending to be Harry’s girlfriend because he was really cute and charming but she didn’t feel like they knew each other well enough to pull this kind of thing off.

“Okay. Fine. But you’ll all owe me big time.”

That’s how she ended up here. Dressed in a dress so tight it hurt and heels that were wildly uncomfortable but it was all she could find on such short notice, and sat so close to Harry she could feel him breathe. She had her arm wrapped around his neck with a hand laced in his hair while she whispered non-sense into his ear.

“What are you doing?” He asked, as she didn’t warn him before she latched on for dear life.

“She’s looking. I’m trying to sell it.” She brought her other hand up to his cheek and began to stroke. “What happened with you two anyway? You act scared of her but helplessly in love at the same time.”

She knew it was technically none of her business but he was (more so Niall and Louis) making her do this so she wanted to know why it was so important he had ‘moved on’.

He turned to look at her. Their eyes locked and she felt her whole body react. He had the prettiest eyes she'd ever seen. He opened his mouth like he was going to respond but a female voice filled their ears before he could begin.

"Harry? Who's this?"

Y/n, getting a look at her up close, did not think this woman was on his level. She was pretty sure, just not as stunning as him.

Harry turned to look at her but kept his head close to Y/n and, shocking the hell out of her, reached up to grasp her hand that was hanging off his shoulder in his own, interlocking their fingers.

"Hello, Olivia, it's nice to see you too."

Olivia just stood straight and glared down at them.

"Well, who is she? You moved on fast yeah?" Her tone was biting.

"I'm Y/n, Harry's girlfriend," she said.

He squeezed her hand as if to thank her for inserting herself.

"I don't think eight months is particularly fast. We only just now made it official," he said.

Harry's voice was calm and collected. In fact, Y/n couldn't understand from this interaction alone what Niall and Louis were so worried about.

"I'm just surprised is all."

Olivia sized her up, gaze unmoving from her face and her arm that was enveloping Harry's neck.

"It's really nice to meet you," Y/n said, sticking her other arm out to shake Olivia's hand. She wanted to act like she wasn't bothered by the woman's rudeness.

"Yeah," Olivia said, looking at her hand then back up at her face. She turned her attention to Harry once more, "I'll see you around. Maybe we can talk at the reception? There's some stuff we should go over."

She didn't let him answer, she just turned abruptly and walked away.

"She's lovely," Y/n said, sarcasm drenching her words.

Harry laughed a deep guttural laugh and she wished she could be the cause of a laugh like that over and over again.

"Yeah, I guess she's hard to swallow. I promise she wasn't always like that."

Before Y/n could say anything else the bridal music started to play and everyone started to stand up. When her and Harry rose, her arm fell from around him and she instantly missed the contact. However, a soft gasp left her when she felt his hand find hers and intertwine their fingers once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry understood why Niall and Louis were worried but he honestly hadn’t thought about Olivia once since Y/n moved in.

He tried not to think about Y/n so much because they could never be together, it would ruin everything and she needed a place to live. He’d hate to ruin her life more than that Braden guy did. But she was everything. So effortlessly pretty and smart and funny. He’d come home from a shift at the bar he owns and she’d just be on the couch laughing at a sitcom he’s sure she’s seen a million times. And then upon noticing his presence, her whole face would light up and she’d ask if he had a good day and tell him she’d made him a plate of food and it was in the kitchen.

So yeah, the last thing he wanted to do was talk to Olivia when he could be dancing with the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and pretending just for the night they were madly in love. However, he knew if he didn’t talk to her, she would make their evening miserable. So he reluctantly excused himself from the table he and his friends had sat down at half an hour ago and made his way across the room.

“Okay, Olivia, what do you want to talk about?” He pulled the empty chair out and took a seat next to her.

“I can’t believe you brought a date when you knew I would be here,” she scoffed, “It’s like I meant nothing to you.”

Harry took a deep breath. This was the thing with Olivia. When they first started dating, everything was great, but then she started making drama out of nothing and eventually she ended it.

“Olivia, I’m not the one who ended it remember? And might I remind you, you were always the one playing games with me. You would lie and then claim I was being dramatic when I said you hurt me.”

“I just didn’t think you would move on so soon. We were together for two years.” Her tone was harsh but he also sensed a bit of sadness there.

“You don’t want me, though. You just want me to want you and that’s not healthy. I did want you, for two years and you decided that wasn’t enough. Now I’ve found someone else and you hate it and I’m sorry if brining her was uncomfortable for you, but she’s important to me and I wanted to share this experience with her.”

Olivia didn’t respond. She just stared at him with a shocked expression.

After a minute or so of uncomfortable silence he decided she was done with the conversation.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get back to my friends.”

He stood up and walked away from her for the last time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n didn't like that Harry was still talking to Olivia. She felt protective in a way, and it was her job tonight to keep them apart, but she also felt something else stirring in her chest, something unidentifiable.

"You guys don't think I should go intervene?" She asked Niall and Louis, who were both eyeing the dance floor curiously and sipping champagne.

"No, he's a good lad honestly. He knows she would come to him if he didn't deal with it. It's better this way too, it means he's more likely telling her off than falling under her spell," said Louis, his eyes flitting over the scene a few tables away.

And as if on cue, Harry stood up right as Y/n's gaze fell back to him. He made his way back to the table and stopped right in front of her.

"Can I have this dance?"

He outstretched his hand to her and she grasped it in hers. He lead her to the dance floor and began to sway them to the music.

"How did it go? What did you talk about?" She couldn't resist asking, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"I just told her the truth. That I did love her once and it wasn't enough for her. That she wants me to want her and that's not fair. And then of course I told her that I'm happy now and she needs to try to move on too." He looked in her eyes, unwavering, as he spoke.

"Well, good." She brought her arms up to wrap around his neck, feeling like this might be her only opportunity to get this close to him. "She needs to know she doesn't get to have a monopoly on you."

His hands, having fallen from hers in her position change, came to wrap around her waist. Surprising her more, his forehead fell to hers and he pulled her in closer.

The rest of the evening was spent with her slow dancing with Harry, snacking on refreshments and surprisingly doing the Macarena with Niall and Louis, who both had far too many drinks.

Later that night, after she had showered and changed into PJs she ran into Harry in the kitchen.

He stood with his back to the entrance way, his head peering into a cabinet.

"What are you looking for?" She inquired on her way to the fridge. She pulled out her Brita filter that the guys had mocked her for being "very american" and poured herself a glass.

"I didn't get any cake at the wedding and I'm feeling a sweet tooth creeping up on me," he turned around as he spoke, "But I think Niall finished off my hidden stash of Oreos."

Closing the cabinet defeated, he came to stand across the island from her. A smile slowly creeping up her face.

"That might have actually been me. I'm sorry. But," she paused to open her secret hiding place in the kitchen, "I have these." She pulled out two Kinder Bueno bars and his eyes lit up.

"You're a lifesaver."

He took one from her and they both made their way out of the kitchen to their respective bedrooms. Just as her hand circled around her door, he spoke again.

"Thank you, for tonight. I had a really good time."

"Me too," she said.

He smiled at her and walked away.

When she laid down to go to sleep, his face invaded her mind and she knew she was in big trouble.

[hsfan94]

You Belong With Me

AN: another older one from the drafts that I’ve finally found an ending for.

Y/n moved in with Harry back in 2016, after he discovered he couldn’t handle being alone for long periods of time. They had been friends for a little over a year and she was struggling to afford a place on her own in any of the three cities she worked in (NYC, LA, London), so they made arrangements to share his places. Y/n hesitated when he pitched the idea for a few reasons. For starters, he had been seeing Kendall Jenner at the time. She knew they weren’t doing anything more than “having fun”, Harry’s words, but she still thought it might be weird for him to live with one girl when he was sleeping with a different one. The other reason was that she had been in love with him, so getting more time to be domestic with him was dangerous.

However, not even a year into it she realized she worried too much. They were seldom at the same house for more than a week at a time with each other because they had different and busy schedules. She even asked Harry if it actually helped him and he said just knowing someone else lived there and seeing her stuff soothed him tremendously.

To tell the truth, she never expected them to still be living together years later. She always assumed Harry would eventually get serious with someone and give her an eviction notice. She held her breath every day the year he was with Camille. She kept expecting them to take that step as it was the longest he’d been with someone in the time she’d known him, but they never did. Camille was sweet and would never admit to it but Y/n’s pretty sure she played a part in their breakup. When she told Harry that Camille might not have been comfortable with him having a roommate he brushed her off saying, “We were at different points in life. We wanted different things.” She had trouble believing that after Fine Line came out.

When the pandemic hit they finally got to spend more time than ever together under the same roof and Y/n got used to it. She liked watching movies and tv with Harry. She liked cooking with him. They got very experimental in the kitchen. She liked going on hikes and trying at home workouts together. She even liked getting drunk and playing games, especially two person Twister. All of the things they did she liked, but what she loved was the fact that they felt and acted like a couple. One night the illusion had been so strong that they almost kissed! She’d be lying if she said she didn’t expect them to cross that line but sadly they never did.

When he came home to pack a bag in November, because he had to do a quarantine somewhere else due to someone on set testing positive, she felt the intimacy bubble pop. She could feel it deep within her that things would change from that day forth and they did. Two months later she found out he’d been sleeping with Olivia Wilde since October, which she’s not even sure how that’s possible, and they had been dating ever since. She was honestly shocked. She for sure expected this one to fizzle out faster than the rest but it didn’t. It kept going. What made her sadder was that they had hardly been in the same city the last two years let alone at the same house. So, she had just been waiting patiently for him to kick her out. He knew she could afford it now. The only thing that bothered her about leaving Harry’s house was the woman lined up to take her place. They weren’t right for each other.

Tonight was the first time in months Harry and Y/n had been at the same house. She had come to London to work on a project and he was there on a little break before his European tour started. They were staying at his place in Hampstead. It was her favorite for many reasons but one of those being that it was his first place he ever bought himself and it gave her insight to what he was like before they met. She should have expected to not be the only house guest he had but she was still thrown off guard when he came in, not alone.

The door slammed against the wall and voices bickered in the distance.

“I just don’t understand why you were rude to the waitress.” Her Harry spoke.

“She asked you for a picture. Why does it matter? They make a living wage here.”

Y/n rolled her eyes. She worked as a waitress for a couple years before her entertainment career kicked off and people that were rude to service staff were the worst kind if you ask her.

“God you don’t get it. It’s about being nice. And it didn’t bother me that-“ He stopped speaking when his eyes landed on his best friend cooking dinner in the kitchen. The frown that had taken over his face amid the argument turned into a bright smile at the sight before him. “Y/n! I totally forgot you said you were going to be here this week.”

He walked over to her and gave her a hug. Over his shoulder she saw his girlfriend shoot her a death glare.

“Yeah. I hope I’m not intruding.” She knew she was.

“Not at all. You live here. How could you be intruding?”

“Seriously?” It was muttered under Olivia’s breath but she knew they could hear her.

“What are you cooking? It smells lovely.” He glanced at the pots his friend had momentarily forgotten and ignored his girlfriend completely.

“Miso ramen with salmon and tofu.” She stirred the broth again and flipped the fish in the pan.

“My favorite. Too bad I already ate.” He seemed like he wished he hadn’t gone out with Olivia at all now. “Well, I’d hate to disturb your plans. We’ll get off to bed.”

He sauntered towards his pink stairs expecting her to follow him and she did so like a petulant child. Just before they reached the top Y/n heard her say, “Why is she here? Can’t she afford to live alone by now? She’s 26.”

Y/n was not offended. In fact, she thought that was rich coming from a 38 year old who was not only dating a 28 year old but acted like she was only 20.

Y/n thought with their retreat the night would be peaceful but shortly after they disappeared their argument got louder.

“I’m not doing this with you again!” Harry screamed.

She could only hear bits and pieces from both of them.

“Kick her out,” Olivia said.

“I don’t know what else you want from me. We’ve made it this far, isn't that enough proof?”

“How am I supposed to trust you?”

“Me!? Trust me!? You’re the one that was with someone else.” She had never heard him this angry.

After that she decided to put on music to tune them out. She had many reasons she didn’t like Olivia but the main one was the Harry she brought out. Y/n’s Harry was calm, easygoing, loving and happy but above all drama free. Olivia’s Harry was dark, angry, haunted and all over the tabloids and internet gossip. It might have had nothing to do with her and everything to do with their compatibility but either way it broke Y/n’s heart to see him this way.

~~~~~~~~~

The next morning she decided to put as little strain on their relationship as possible. She made them both breakfast and after they came down to see her plating the food, she told them to enjoy and made a swift exit. Before her escape she caught some glares and words from Olivia.

“This wont make me like you or fix our living arrangements.”

Even though she knew Harry would chew her out for it Y/n couldn’t help but let it get to her. She thought about the living arrangements comment all day and decided she should talk to Harry that night.

On her walk back to the house she remembered the day he proposed the idea.

“Live with me. It’d fix both our issues.” He had blurted out randomly amid her rambling about the state of rent prices.

“Won’t it get weird? Like if we have partners and stuff?”

“No. We’ll make it work. Come on, it'll be fun. Like we’re in university, I never got to do that.” He was persistent, she gave him that.

“Okay. But just till I can get on my feet or you find a replacement.” She winked at him and he laughed.

She had been joking about the replacement but now she feared he had taken her seriously.

Stepping off the tube, Y/n decided to take the longer, more scenic route to their house. As she walked she thought about the night they almost kissed.

Harry almost fell over trying to spin the wheel.

“Oi! Okay… It says right hand on green.”

Y/n had never been this drunk before. She chalked it up to wanting to keep up with Harry but now she regretted it as she was trying to remain in her twister position. Upon hearing his instruction she realized moving her hand to green would put them in quite the compromising position. She did it anyway.

“Hey there. Don’t get any ideas, love,” he said, peering down at her.

Her face was practically in his crotch.

“Don’t worry. I’m not interested.” She smiled up at him.

“Ouch.” He went to spin again but drunkenly lost his balance and fell on her.

“Oi! Harry! That hurt.”

They both laughed and when they collected themselves she became aware of how close they were. His hips were perched between her legs and she could feel his breath on her lips.

“Your eyes have a bit of green in them. I’ve never noticed,” he said. He brought a hand up to her face to swipe her hair away from her cheek.

“Yeah, they’re hazel. It’s like a cross between brown and green.”

He started to lean in and just when she thought they were about to kiss his head fell to her shoulder.

“Can we just sleep here? I don’t think I can get up.”

And they did sleep there that night. On the floor, tangled in each other.

She walked through the outside door of their house not even remembering coming out of the park or the rest of the walk. She had been lost in her thoughts. She was relieved that he was home alone.

“Harry?”

He was in the kitchen, at the island reading a book and drinking something out of a mug.

“There’s my favorite girl!” He turned to face her.

Her heart clenched and fluttered at his words.

“We need to talk. Is Olivia here?”

“No, she took the kids to the zoo.”

It made her uncomfortable that he was dating someone with kids because it made her think about him being a father to kids that weren’t hers.

“Okay cool.” She took the seat next to him, facing him fully.

Just as she was about to start his phone rang.

“Hang on.” He glanced down to see who it was and rolled his eyes. He got up and walked to look out the window as he answered. “What’s up, Olivia?”

Y/n wasn’t sure what had happened in the time she was gone but she assumed they were still fighting.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the zoo with the kids?”

She wished she could hear the other end but she just pretended to be busy.

“How did you forget it’s not your day?”

A bit of silence.

“No, I’m busy.”

More silence.

“Why are you still on that? It was a fucking joke! You’ve known me long enough that you should know that.”

More silence and then he shook his head.

“I’m not doing this with you right now. Bye.” He hung up and came back to his spot like nothing had happened.

“You okay?” She asked.

“I just don’t know what happened. We had been drama free and then for the last few months she’s been picking fights. Getting angry at my jokes, at my job and at my relationship with you. It’s exhausting. I just want one good day.”

She felt horrible for potentially making his day worse but she had to bring it up.

“About that… I don’t think we can do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“Live together.” She paused to take a deep breath. “We’re getting too old for it.”

“What? Where’s this coming from?”

“Last night. I felt like I was intruding.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t intrude when it’s your house.”

“It’s not my house though, Harry. It’s yours. You bought it with your own money a decade ago.”

“But you live here.”

She sighed. She stood up and walked over to turn on the kettle.

“Do you not like living together anymore?” He sounded so hurt.

“Harry, you’re in a serious relationship now. Things are just different.”

“How are they any different from when I was with Camille? You didn’t threaten to move out then.” His voice was getting louder, like he was getting angry.

“No, but I probably should have. Then you might still be together.”

“That doesn’t make any sense Y/n, I’m with Olivia now, I’m over her.”

“I just mean I don’t want to cause another breakup.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He just stared at her from across the island.

“Look, Harry, I love you and I have thoroughly enjoyed our arrangement but things are a lot more complicated now then they were back then.”

He stayed silent. After a moment he came around the island and stood in front of her. He slowly pulled her into a tight hug.

“Okay. If that’s how you feel, I won’t try to convince you otherwise, but at least stick it out a little longer yeah? Until you secure another place. I’ll help you look for something and my door will always be open for you.”

They didn’t say much else after that. Luckily that night, Olivia stayed somewhere else so Y/n could have a moment to think about everything in peace.

~~~~~~~~

Harry was terrified. Y/n telling him she wanted to leave was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. That conversation between them hurt worse than any breakup he’s ever had. He wasn’t really sure why though.

He was also confused. It sounded like she didn’t actually want to leave but more like she felt she had to. He also didn’t understand why she brought up Camille and why it seemed she wished he was still with her. Did she miss Camille? He knew she and Olivia did not get along but he couldn’t recall her and Camille ever interacting much either.

He was hurt. He wanted her to stay. He wanted her, period. He knew he’d fucked up. He always fucked up. The truth is Y/n was the last thing he had left of his time in the band. If he lost her he wouldn’t have anything that reminded him of that time in his life. Sure, he could call the boys whenever, but Y/n was someone who liked him before he was successful on his own and that meant something to him. She was genuine. They had never really had a fight before. That night was the first. If you could call it a fight anyway.

He felt ashamed. Over lockdown, they had been so close to becoming what he wanted them to be but he got scared. The night they almost kissed was his favorite memory to date. But the next day, because he was scared, he went and did something stupid.

There was a knock at his trailer door. Even the smallest of sounds sent a pounding through his head. He rushed to open it to make it stop.

“Hey, sexy thing, are you ready for your scene?” It was Olivia.

She had started calling him names like that pretty early on. He was bummed at first because this was his first time to have a main part and he was excited to work with professionals only to find out how unprofessional the director truly was. He had gotten used to it though.

“No. I got too drunk last night.”

“Alone?”

“No, me and my best mate live together. She used to be a bartender and we were experimenting with new recipes. She’s a heavy pourer, that's for sure.”

“You poor thing.” Olivia had entered the trailer and was now inappropriately close.

“What are you doing?” He said, backing up into the wall.

“Don’t think about it.”

He knew he should have said no, but he was so tired of pining over Y/n. He had given her so many chances to make a move and she never did. He hadn’t thought that this thing with Olivia would turn into what it had. He thought for sure back then it was a one time thing but she kept wanting to do it again and then one day she was claiming she loved him. Then, factoring in that she had ruined her family for him, he felt obligated to be with her. He wasn’t happy. So, Y/n was the best thing in his life and she was threatening to leave. He didn’t want to force her to stay so he didn’t say much when she brought it up but now he wished he’d said more.

The next day he had already felt a shift between them.

He stumbled down to the kitchen to find her there making chocolate chip pancakes.

“You’re like a proper housewife, you know that?”

She didn’t smile at his joke. In fact she hardly looked at him. His heart cracked.

“Come on, Y/n. Don’t do this.”

Silence. She put his food on a plate and placed it in front of him. She turned around to make herself a latte with the espresso machine he bought just for her. When she came to sit beside him and still said nothing he snapped.

“That’s enough!” He had never heard his own voice so loud.

She flinched away from him and he had never wished to die more.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” He reached for her and she finally looked at him, allowing him to grab her hand.

“Y/n I can’t do this. I didn’t say anything last night because I didn’t want to force you to stay but I can’t live without you.”

“Harry, I’d just be moving out.”

He shook his head aggressively.

“You don’t get it. I can’t live without you. I don’t want you to go, you're all I have.”

“That’s not true and you know it. If anything it’s the other way around.”

They had both forgotten their food.

“You are. It’s been hard not being in the same place at the same time but when we are, it brightens my day. When I came home the other night and you were in the kitchen cooking dinner, it was like a dream. It’s all I want, for the rest of my life.”

“Okay, but don’t you want it with someone you love? You don’t need your silly best friend when you have a girlfriend.”

How could someone be so dense?

“Never mind.”

“It’ll be okay I promise. In fact, I’m mainly looking at places in the neighborhood.”

They didn’t talk much more about it. He couldn’t handle it.

That was in May. It was now November. And he hadn’t seen his pretty best friend in so long. She had come to the first two New York shows as she was working on stuff in New York that week, but that had been over two months ago. So much had happened. When she came to those shows it was the first time he’d seen her since the moving out conversation. He wanted to drop to his knees and beg but he was trying not to upset Olivia. He’s not sure why now because they’ve had so many fights since then. Including a big one in September that led to them breaking up and he hadn’t been upset by it either.

He was getting ready to go on stage when there was a knock at the door.

He rushed to open it. There she was, standing in front of him like a dream.

“Y/n.” It was no louder than a whisper.

“Hey. I know you’re about to go on, but maybe after the show we can talk?”

He nodded so fast he thought his head would fall off.

“Okay. Great. I’ll see you in a few hours.” She turned to leave but he wouldn’t have it. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to him.

“There’s no need to run away. You can hang out until show time.”

He had her in a tight hug.

“I just… I need to get a drink and find my seat.”

“Seat? You’re not gonna stand with Jeff and them?”

“No. My friend bought tickets before she realized I could get us VIP access.” She laughed like it was a joke but it hurt his feelings. How did she have a friend that didn’t know that? He talked about her to all his friends all the time. “Plus, your girlfriend is here and I don’t want to cause any issues.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you after?”

She nodded and left. He felt empty. It was like he had already lost her. He pushed his feelings down and went on stage pretending to be the happiest man alive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was nervous. She lied about a friend buying tickets. She didn’t want him to know it was her choice to be further away. She figured he knew anyway. She had been putting space between them since May. She knew that if she wanted to stay in his life, she needed to get over him and she couldn’t do that being around him all the time. So, she was nervous because she was going to tell him she found a place. Not just one though. She found three flats, one for each city. That news wasn’t so bad she supposed but she was scared to tell him that they weren’t in his neighborhood. She lied before. Y/n couldn’t afford to live in North London, Malibu or the upper west side in Manhattan, but she didn’t want to hurt him anymore than she had.

When Harry started singing Kiwi she excused herself and made her way to his dressing room. She was surprised no one else was waiting there.

She was sitting on the couch in his dressing room when the door burst open.

“Hey stranger.” She smiled at him. He looked terrified and she didn’t know why.

“Thank god. I thought you left.” He closed the door behind him.

“I said I wanted to talk, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but I saw you get up and leave and then you weren’t outside the door.” He made his way to the couch and sat beside her. “What did you want to talk about?”

She sighed. “I don’t know how you’ll take this.”

He was silent so she continued. “I found a place. Well more than one.”

“Oh.” He stood up and went to change.

“I haven’t signed anything yet, it's not a done deal.”

“Okay? Why is that important?” He didn’t look at her once.

“They aren’t in your neighborhood.”

He turned around at that.

“I thought you said you were only going to look at places in the neighborhood. Do you really not want to be around me that badly?” His face was drenched in hurt.

“No! Not at all.” She stood up too and made her way over to him. “I just can’t afford the same areas you can.”

“That’s not all it is and you know it.” The hurt was now mixed with anger.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb. You’ve been keeping your distance. We’ve hardly seen each other or spoken since May.”

“We’re busy people, H.”

“That's bullshit and you know it. I always make time for you.”

He pulled on his sweats and walked to the vanity.

“I don’t understand why you’re mad.” She followed right behind him.

“Because my best friend doesn’t like me anymore.” He whipped around to face her as he spoke. “I’m not mad either. I’m fucking depressed.” She thought she saw the shimmer of tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey.” She cautiously reached for his hands and held them in hers. “I love you. It’s just been hard to be around you lately.”

“Why? What did I do?” He held her hands tighter.

“You did nothing. It’s all me.” She looked at their hands. She couldn’t look at him as she came clean. “I’m in love with you and having to watch you be with someone else, it’s gotten to be too much. I have to move out because if we keep living together, I’m going to start to believe you love me too. Don’t you want to live with someone you love? Don’t you want to come home to the person you love most cooking for you after a late night and cuddle them to sleep?”

She looked back up to see him smiling.

“I do want that.”

“See. And you could have that with Olivia, I just need to not be in the way.” She started to step back but he held her tighter.

“I don’t want it with Olivia.”

“What?”

“I don’t love her. Not the way you are insinuating.”

“Then why are you with her?”

He took a deep breath.

“Because I couldn’t be with you.”

Her mouth fell open.

“What?” It was barely louder than a whisper.

“That night we got drunk, do you remember?” She nodded so he continued. “Well, I almost kissed you but I knew it would ruin everything so I didn’t. Then the next day, on set, Olivia made a move and I don’t know, I was tired of being alone.” He couldn’t look at her, he was ashamed of himself.

“Are you serious?” She sounded angry so he looked up to see her face and it was indeed set in a frown. He let her continue. “Harry, you have to be the dumbest person I’ve ever met.”

She put distance between them and he missed her the minute she let go of his hands.

“You have never been alone! I don’t know why you can’t understand that. Being single and being alone are not the same thing. You have always had me. We fucking live together.”

“You don’t get it, Y/n. It’s so hard being around someone you are madly in love with and can’t have.”

She looked at him stunned.

“I don’t get it?” She shook her head. “Harry, I’m not the one who brings other people around! In the time we’ve known each other, how many guys have I dated, do you know?” He couldn’t recall so he shook his head. “None! Because I have only had eyes for you.”

His heart jumped, he didn’t get time to bask in her words because she continued.

“I’ve had sex and been on dates but only at the extreme difficulty of having to pretend they were you. Meanwhile you have come around with at least four different women and practically rubbed it in my face that you didn’t want me. And now you’re just here telling me you don’t even want to be with the woman you’ve been with for two years. The one that I have to see treat you like shit. The one I’ve watched break you down into this shell of a man all because you didn’t want to be alone.” She started to cry. “And for what? Because I told you I should move out because seeing you with someone else kills me inside and living with you is all I want but it confuses the hell out of me because we aren’t together.”

“Hey, Angel, don’t cry.” He walked over to her, feeling the need to be delicate since she was mad. “I’m so sorry. I genuinely had no idea you felt that way. I wish I had known sooner.” He gently raised his hands to her cheeks and when she didn’t pull away, he began stroking her tears away with his thumbs.

“Why can’t you just call it what it is, H? You are scared of something real. Something that has the potential to be the end of the road.”

He leaned his forehead against hers and started to talk in a soft voice. “You’re right. I am scared. Because like I said I can’t live without you and I’ve been doing everything in my power to keep you but clearly I’ve made some mistakes. I just… I love you so much and so intensely it scares me and I don’t know it just felt like you didn’t feel the same so I’ve tried to move on but keep you close at the same time. It backfired clearly.” He chuckled a bit.

His words made her peer back up at him with a smile. It was the first time he actually said the words. The first time she heard them.

“Yeah it did. Look how much time we’ve wasted.”

His heart skipped. Did that mean?

“Time we’ve wasted? You aren’t mad?”

“I am but just because we could have done this sooner.”

Before he could say anything she pulled him into a heated kiss.

He pulled back after a minute. “Does this mean you’re not going to move out?”

“It means I’m going to move out of my room and into yours.”

He smiled and kissed her again. He pulled her flush against him and spun them around to push her against the vanity counter. Just as he was about to lift her onto it she pulled back.

“Wait… you have a girlfriend.”

“No I don’t.”

“What?”

He placed her on the counter and came to stand between her legs.

“We broke up. Like a week ago.”

Instead of responding, Y/n moaned and pulled his lips back to hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him as tight to her as she could.

She came up for air and said, “Good. You belong with me.”

He hummed his agreement of, “I belong with you,” and dove right back in.

His tongue slipped between her lips ever so lightly. It just gently brushed hers and caused her to buck her hips against his.

Her hands snaked into his hair and pulled gently. She had been waiting to be with him like this for so long that she was going to take advantage of it. She lowered her hands to his shoulders, brushing his neck as they passed it, and pulled him even closer.

Harry was hard. He knew if they kept going he wouldn’t be able to stop so he pulled back.

“Baby, if we don’t cool down, I’m gonna have to fuck you right here.”

“God,” she groaned. “Please do.”

“You want to? Right here? You don’t want it to be more special?”

She cooed at him. “You’re so cute, my love. But I’ve wanted to do this since I was nineteen. I can have it be special later.”

“Okay then.” He dove back in finding a place on her neck to attach his lips to. She threw her head back and arched her back giving him more access.

While he sucked on her neck he started undoing the buttons on her top. Once he popped the last one, he made his way down to her chest. His lips traced a path with his tongue coming out every so often to lick at her skin.

When he reached his destination he reached around to undo her bra. When it slid off her body he let out a single “fuck” before he dove onto the left one, kissing and sucking vigorously.

“Fuck, Harry.” She put her hands back on his head and pushed him into her chest even more.

He moved to the right one whispering, “fucking perfect” before mimicking his movements from before. Y/n was going crazy above him and it was everything he had ever dreamed of.

“Harry.” She pulled his head up as she spoke.

“What?”

“Take your clothes off right now.”

Without another word he stood up straight and yanked his sweats off. He came back between her legs and carefully pulled her leggings down, stopping to kiss her legs every so often. When they were both naked, he came back to stand in his original position. He felt her reach down and grab him, to guide him to her entrance but he stopped her.

“Protection?” It was all he could say.

“The pill.” She matched his energy perfectly and that was why he loved her so much.

He pushed in and it was everything they both could have dreamed of.

“You feel perfect,” he whispered against her ear and then gave it a little nibble.

“You too.” She wrapped her legs all the way around him to hold him as close as possible.

His thrusts were slow and tender, as if still trying to make their first time special but it was perfect. She could feel every detail and the dragged out pace allowed for her climax to build slower and eventually release in one of the strongest orgasms she’d ever had.

She could tell Harry was close. She ran her hands through his hair again and whispered, “Let go, baby, let go.” And biting into her shoulder he did just that, as if he’d just been waiting for permission.

They stayed still, just breathing heavily, for a moment and then she felt her shoulder dampen.

“What’s wrong, Honey?” She softly combed his hair with her fingers, scratching at his scalp every so often.

“I just… I don’t…” He paused to take a deep breath, then leaned back so he could look in her eyes. “I don’t deserve you. As a partner or friend. I’ve been so shitty and oblivious and ignorant and an ass-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” she cut him off. “You are an amazing friend to me. You gave me a place to live for the last six years and you’ve given me opportunities to come see the best live shows I’ve ever seen.” He smiled at that and she kissed him lightly before continuing. “And if you feel for me how I feel for you, I bet you will be a phenomenal partner. Have you made some mistakes, including ones that hurt my feelings? Yes. But that’s over now. It’s just you and me against the world.” She brushed her thumb over his lips and they puckered to kiss it. “You’re stuck with me now though. You can’t get rid of me if you tried, so I hope that’s okay with you.” She giggled and he did too.

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I promise I’ll never hurt your feelings like that again. You are the most important thing in my life and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you.”

She kissed him on the mouth. “Good.” She kissed him again. “Now I don’t know about you rockstar, but I’m starving.” He let out a loud laugh, and she realized they were still connected and winced a bit. “How about we get dressed and go get pancakes or something?”

“Pancakes sound great.” A mischievous smile took over his face as he untangled them and helped her off the vanity. “But how about we go home and make your pancakes,” He paused, the smile dropping for dramatic effect as he added, “naked?”

She cackled. She didn’t answer right away. She just put her clothes on (well she put on the t-shirt Harry had never managed to fully change into and her leggings) and he did the same. Then finally she turned to face him.

“Alright. Let’s go home.”

“And round two after pancakes?”

“Is this gonna be my life now?” She giggled. “Cooking and fucking on an endless loop?”

“I sure hope so.” He smiled sheepishly.

She leaned up to kiss him again.

“Me too! Now let’s go!” She grabbed his hand and led them out of the room.

[hsfan94]

Opposite

AN: In honour of Short N Sweet coming out, here's one I wrote a year ago from the google docs. It was originally going to have a sad ending but I changed it up to fit how I'm feeling now. I hope you like it!

Y/n felt so stupid. The worst part was that she couldn’t even be mad. She was the one who got it so wrong. She could throw up from how stupid and sad she felt at the present moment. However, she was squished between Gemma and Harry in the first row of a balcony seating section at the National Theatre so she couldn’t escape.

Y/n met Harry in early 2019. She had just started out as a writer and producer. She got a call to come in for a studio session but wasn’t told anything else about the project. When she got there and walked in to see Harry Styles sitting casually on the couch in a white t-shirt and corduroys her heart stopped. It started up again, racing, when he stood up and came to greet her. Instead of shaking her hand like she would have expected, he enveloped her in the coziest hug ever.

“I’m so glad you were available to come today.” He told her, pulling back just enough to make eye contact. “I’m such a huge fan.”

She was shocked that he had heard anything she’d worked on let alone that he liked it. 

“Thank you,” she said. “What’s this project we’re working on today all about?”

The biggest smile grew on his face as he started to tell her all about the record and the last few songs that needed finishing. 

They hit it off so well that they never missed a chance to work together and hung out as often as possible.

That led her to here. Now. Y/n was in love with him. She hadn’t planned to fall, but with Harry it was as easy as breathing. Looking at him just melted her from the inside out, hearing his voice could calm any worry she had. Her favorite color became the exact shade of his eyes. Her favorite songs were the ones he wrote that she could imagine were about her. Realistically she knew none of them were but she’d written about him so it was nice to imagine the other way around. He was everything to her. He was also the only one who didn’t know. 

So, here she was. She had been staying in London for a project with Jack Antonoff at Abbey Road and she had gotten a call last night from her Harry. 

“What are you up to tomorrow night?” He had said, voice soft and unsure. It almost sounded like he was nervous. 

“Nothing, it’s my day off, why?” She said, picking at a piece of her comforter that had a loose thread.

“Would you want to come see this play, “The Effect”, with me?” He sounded hopeful. She could hear it in his inflections. Like he really wanted her there. 

“Harry, you already know I’d do anything you ask me to.” She smiled against her phone at the sound of his laugh coming through the line. 

“Okay then, I’ll text you the details. See you tomorrow, Y/n.”

She should’ve known from the text that her interpretation was wrong. 

It seemed like it was a date when he asked. But as she walked along the river, she couldn’t help but think that if it was a date, he would’ve picked her up and they would have gone together. 

The thought was shattered even more when she saw Gemma and Michael standing outside the theatre where he had asked her to meet him. 

Gemma, who was dressed in a lovely evening gown, noticed her rather quickly. She unhooked her arm from where it was locked with Michael’s and closed the short distance between them. 

“Y/n, I didn’t know you were coming,” she said, engulfing Y/n in a tight hug. 

“I could say the same.” Y/n pulled away first and glanced between her two friends. 

“Harry didn’t tell you we were coming too?” Gemma quirked her eyebrow in that very specific way that only she and her brother can. 

Y/n only shook her head. She noticed both their gazes turn to something akin to pity so she quickly shot her focus to the stones under her feet. They were quite interesting really. Not quite cobble stone but not pavement either. 

“Oh. Well. Maybe he just forgot he invited us then.”

Y/n could hear in Gemma’s voice that she already knew what Y/n had thought. But before more could be said both her and Gemma’s phones chimed with a text saying the plan had changed and he would meet them inside. 

Y/n’s heart fell that much more when the three of them made their way through the doors. Harry was leaning against a wall, talking animatedly to a beautiful woman. She was around five foot five and all around the complete opposite of Y/n. He had that specific twinkle in his eye that only shows up when he’s interested in someone. Just as Y/n was mentally comparing the exact differences in her and the other woman’s body type, Harry looked over and made eye contact with her. She quickly forced a smile and waved at him. He leaned over and whispered something in the other woman’s ear and then strode over to meet the three of them.

“I’m so glad you could come,” he said, pulling Y/n into a hug. 

“Well I didn’t have much else going on.” She tried to keep an airiness in her voice to mask her true feelings.

“Gem, Micheal, it means a lot.” He shook Micheal’s hand and hugged Gemma.

“Yeah, I looked it up online and I’m quite excited. Thank you so much for the invite.” Gemma gave a very subtle nervous glance between Harry, Y/n and the woman he didn’t introduce them to but clearly came with.

“Well,” he reached into his coat pocket, “here are the tickets. You guys go ahead and find the seats, I’ll be up in a bit.” 

As soon as Gemma took them from him, he turned around and made his way back to his previous spot against the wall.

The three of them made it to the seats and sat in an uncomfortable silence. The tension Harry had created in just that short little encounter was weighing down on them. Harry made his way to them just before curtain and right as the play started he placed his hand on Y/n’s knee, squeezed and whispered, “I’m really glad you came.”

The whole play Y/n couldn’t focus on the actual show. She was swimming in circles in her mind trying to figure out why she had got it wrong, trying her best not to cry, and debating how to escape without drawing suspicion. There was no worse feeling than the one she got when, between all of those other attention grabbers, she would look over and see Harry staring down at Taylor (she learned her name from the program) with the most loving gaze. When the play finally ended, Y/n waited through the clapping and cheering, joining in to not arouse suspicion, but then made a great escape.

“Harry,” she said gently just as they got back to the lobby.

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you for the invite, I really have to head home though, I’m not feeling too well.” To be fair, it wasn’t a lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He pulled her into a hug. “I hope you feel better, text me if you need anything.”

She just nodded and walked briskly out the door. She didn’t even make it ten feet before tears started streaming, silently, down her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry was concerned. He had tried to get ahold of Y/n the next day to see if she was feeling any better but his calls kept going to voicemail. He wanted to introduce her to Taylor but never got the chance. Now that it had been over 24 hours (and counting) and she still had not replied to his calls and texts, he was beginning to panic. What if something terrible had happened to her on her walk home. He picked up his phone to call her for the hundredth time and it went to voicemail again.

“Y/n, it’s me again. I need to know if you’re okay. I was also hoping to discuss some things with you while you’re in town and I know you were supposed to be leaving next week… but maybe the plans changed since you have fallen ill. I’m rambling, sorry. Please, please, please just at least text me. Anything just to let me know you’re alive.”

He hung up and decided to call his sister to see if she had heard from her or noticed if something was off.

“Hey, H, what’s up?”

“Have you heard from Y/n.” He rushed the words out almost on top of her’s.

“I’m well, thanks for asking, you?” Gemma’s tone was drenched in sarcasm.

“I’m serious, Gem, I’m really worried. She’s not responding to my messages. Did she seem okay last night?” He ran a hand through his hair as he paced around the room.

Gemma let out a loud, exasperated sigh. “Harry, are you dense?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Of course she wasn’t okay last night,” she said, pausing to see if she would be interrupted again and continued when he stayed silent. “You invited her to a play that you failed to mention you invited me and Micheal to as well and then she goes inside to find out you have a girlfriend.”

Color him confused. “Okay… I’m not following.”

“Right. Dense.” She took another deep breath. “I feel as though I’m betraying her trust by disclosing to you but I also cannot for the life of me believe you could be so blind. She thought it was a date.”

“Why would she think that?” His heart sped up a little.

“Hmmm… Let’s think shall we? One, you have been joined at the hip for nearly five years. Two, she was under the impression that you were both single. Three, she’s madly in love with you. Four, you’ve been-”

“What was that?” He cut her off.

“Which part? None of this should be new information.” It came out biting and flooded with irritation.

“She’s… in love with me?”

“Yes, you idiot. Do you even have a brain?”

“Oi! No need to be rude or come for my intellect. I had no idea.”

Gemma sighed again, very defeated. “Do you even hear how she talks about you? Do you see the way she looks at you? Have you heard her songs? It’s so clear to everyone who has been around you two.” He was stunned into silence. “So back to your original question, no. She’s very hurt and embarrassed. I called her last night to check in and she had been crying and insisting she was so stupid and foolish for thinking you could ever want to ask her on a date.” His heart cracked. “It was heartbreaking and I kept trying to tell her you were the stupid one but she rushed to your defense as always, your greatest defender. So I imagine she just needs some space. I know you wanted to talk to her about album four but I think the last thing she needs is to potentially hear poems about another woman who’s place she could never hope to take.”

He hadn’t realized he started crying. It was a combination of things he supposed. The influx of all this new, overwhelming information, his best friend being so upset she had holed herself up somewhere to avoid him like the plague, and his sister having such a beautiful way with words and immense concern for his friend.

“I really had no idea. I’m such an ass.”

As if she noticed the choked sound of his crying, Gemma’s voice softened. “Not an ass, just a little oblivious. But you have strung her along a bit. I mean she would argue that it's all one-sided, but I’ve been around you two a lot, including the Christmas you brought her home because “she would have spent it alone otherwise” which is very boyfriend-y.”

“How do I fix it? How can I make it right?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure you can. If you love her the way she loves you, which I suspect you might even if you have a girlfriend, then the answer is simple. If not, then I guess give her time. Hell, I’d give her time either way. But if it’s the second one, you might have to accept that she may never get over you and therefore continuing on like you were would be an asshole thing to do.”

“Thank you, for the advice. Ummm. I guess I have some things to think about.”

“You will do the right thing, baby brother, I know you will. You are a great person and an even better friend. Also, don’t tell her I told you all this.”

He let out a half hearted chuckle. “Of course. I love you.”

“Love you too!”

And with that she hung up. And Harry had never felt so heavy hearted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n had been religiously ignoring his texts and calls. She felt so stupid and embarrassed. Of course it wasn’t going to be a date and she could not believe she’d thought that so easily. Her anger and sadness were only directed at herself but she still couldn’t bear to hear his voice just yet. 

She lived and breathed music. So music was the answer. She wanted to send him a signal. She never wanted to outright tell him as it could go so wrong. But he sounded so worried, she wanted him to have a slice of understanding behind her distance. 

She pulled up her camera, sat down at her piano and started singing.

“Oh so you do have a type and it's not me…”

She poured her heart and soul into the session with Sabrina over a year ago. They had something in common at the time. They were both lovelorn over someone who preferred other people.

“She looks nothing like me, so why do you look so happy?”

She recorded the whole song on her camera app and posted it to instagram with the caption, “reminiscing on writing this beauty with @sabrinacarpenter”.

She put her phone away for at least an hour, not wanting to see immediate reactions.

When she did get the courage to look she saw that Gemma had commented crying emojis and that Harry had in fact liked both the post and her comment. She was unsure if her message was really received but she tried not to think about it as she fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were knives lodged in his heart and shoved down his throat when he popped on to see her post after Gemma sent him a text about it. He loved that song. He had been the first person she showed it to when they wrote it. Yet, he never guessed it was about him and (what he assumes based on the time of writing) Olivia. But now it had more meaning to her as he did it again. Chose to be happy with someone else who in fact looks nothing like her. 

The truth was Harry had no idea if he loved her the way she loved him. From what he was uncovering about her love for him, he didn’t even know if he could love anyone that way. 

He had never shown romantic interest in her, sure, but he couldn’t understand why she was convinced he could never be interested in her that way. She was smart, talented, funny and kind. He thought she was the kind of person anyone would be lucky to end up with. He remembered one thing but that couldn’t have been enough to implant that in her head, could it?

“Is one of these ladies your date?” Jack motioned between Gemma and Y/n. 

“That’s my sister.” Harry pointed at Gemma. He was going to explain who Y/n was but Jack started off on a tangent about families and the award show. Everyone was laughing and then all of the sudden Jack had left the table and Harry noticed Y/n seemed a little off the rest of the night. 

Maybe she had thought that was a date as well and he brushed her off, be it unintentionally, and not even introduced her to Jack. But it didn’t really explain what about him overall could give her such an impression. 

If he was honest, he had never given himself time to truly think about how he feels for her. They met when he was still broken up about Camille and he really needed a friend. In a way getting to know her helped him pick up the pieces. Not too long after that though, they were separated for a long period of time because of the pandemic and then he all but ran into Olivia’s open arms. He had seen Y/n a lot in the eight months he had been single this past year and he always really enjoyed their time together but he never gave himself a moment to stop and explore how he felt about her. 

Now he found himself conflicted. He truly thought he was falling in love with Taylor but thinking about Y/n in this way (with deep thought and the ability to isolate himself and his feelings) he was starting to question his understanding of romantic love. He knew he didn’t love Taylor the way Y/n loved him. But he didn’t think he loved Y/n that way either and wouldn’t it be cruel for her to end up with someone who couldn’t give her that? Who couldn’t give her what she deserved? Gemma had told him to give Y/n time but now he felt as though he needed time too. 

Dejected, he stood up from the couch, where he had been staring out the window for the last hour, and picked up his phone. 

“Hey,” he said, when she answered. “Can we talk?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you for coming,” Harry said, standing up from his usual table to greet her.

“Of course,” Taylor made a move to kiss him but he turned so she only caught his cheek. If it bothered her she didn’t let it show on her face.

They sat down and let silence fall over them.

“I don’t really know how to say what I want to say.” Harry played with the rings on his fingers. He was having a hard time looking at her as he knew he was about to hurt her. 

She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Running her thumb over his knuckles she said “Take your time, yeah? I’ve got all day.”

She was so sweet and patient and he felt terrible. But he’d been stupid and rushed into something without thinking and this is where it got him.

“I think we should, maybe, take a break.” His eyes were still fixed to his hands and hers that laid on top.

“Is that… I mean… Is that really what you want? You seem unsure.” Her tone was patient and calm as if his answer didn’t matter as much to her as she thought it would to him.

“I mean yes? I know that I’m not coming off very sure. Let me start over. I’ve really enjoyed our time together and I truly think I’m falling for you but…”

“There’s someone else?” 

“What?” His eyes finally met hers.

“That’s what it is isn’t it?” She slowly removed her hands from his. “Harry, I think you’re great and the last few months have been a lot of fun, but I’m not stupid. That girl that came to the play, it’s her right?” She took a sip of her water, ever so patiently, as if she truly wouldn’t care either way because all he could find on her face was absolute understanding and it somehow made him feel worse.

“I didn’t know. You have to understand that. It seems I’m the last to know.” He paused to get a deep breath. “She’s one of my best friends and I invited her to introduce you, but she ran out saying she didn’t feel good. I hadn’t heard from her and I was worried sick because she walked home that night and my sister told me she was upset because she thought I invited her on a date. I’ve been running around my mind in circles trying to figure everything out but I’m just so lost and confused.”

She nodded once and then spoke again. “Let me help. Close your eyes.” He fluttered his lids shut and she continued. “It’s your wedding day, the music just started and the bride is coming towards you, who is it?”

He felt a smile overtake his face at the mental image of his best friend floating down an isle filled with petals, she was wearing a beautiful white dress and… His eyes shot open. “Woah.” The only word he could say.

“It was her, yeah?” For the first time Taylor had a hint of sadness outlining her features.

He nodded his head. “That was crazy, I’ve never thought about my wedding before like that.” After his initial shock faded he looked up at her apologetically. “You’re really great Taylor. You deserve someone amazing. I’m sorry that it can’t be me.”

She stood up from the table, leaned down to kiss his cheek again and spoke one last time. “Thank you Harry, you’re a great guy. I wish you all the best.” 

And just like that she left the pub and he was left alone again only this time he was more sure of what he wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s phone had been ringing non-stop and it was really getting in the way of the session.

“Y/n are you sure you don’t need to get that?” Jack asked her.

When it first started ringing fifteen minutes ago she told him she’d let it go to voicemail not realizing that whoever it was, wouldn’t give up.

“Yeah, I’ll go check it I guess.”

She had filled Jack in on all the details of her weekend so he knew she was avoiding someone but he seemed worried that her phone was going off so much. So she decided to put her friend at ease and she took it outside. It had of course been Harry. He had just finished his calling for the tenth time when a text popped up.

I know you’re upset with me, but I’d really like to talk some things through this evening if you can. Does your favourite place at 8 work?

Half smiling, because he really could have sent a text to begin with, she responded.

Sure. Now stop calling, Jack and I need to finish this track so I can make it to dinner.

He sent back a “Sorry” with the little blushing emoji and she hearted the message.

She went back inside and told Jack there shouldn’t be any more interruptions.

“Was it Harry?” He asked, the nosy git.

“Yeah, he wants to get dinner to make it up to me I guess, but the strange thing is he shouldn’t even know I’m upset with him.”

She continued on through the session with dinner out of her mind and when it rolled around to 7:00 she left the studio and headed to the restaurant.

When she got there, he had already gotten a table, secluded in the back corner. It had two lit candles and a bouquet of roses and she was really confused. Harry stood up to greet her and she noticed how fancy he had dressed and she suddenly felt her ripped jeans and cardigan put her out of place. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were dressing up? I look so out of place,” She said as he came to hug her.

A frown formed on his face and he replied, “You look beautiful.”

Her insides exploded the way they always did when he complimented her.

They sat down and an awkward silence fell over them. He was just staring at her with the strangest look on his face and she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Harry, why are we here?” 

Before he could reply a waiter came to the table with a bottle of her favorite wine and poured them both a glass. She stared at the bottle with wide eyes, because how had he remembered she preferred this one to any other and why had he ordered them a bottle, it was going to cost a fortune.

“Harry What-”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” He gently placed a hand over hers.

“For what?” She was going to lose her mind soon.

“I’ve been horrible and blind and I’ve hurt you. I can’t begin to apologize in a way worthy of your forgiveness.”

“Harry, what are you talking about?” She hadn’t been aware that he knew she was upset. 

“I’ve been a selfish fool and I’m so sorry, but if you let me, I’ll make it up to you.” 

It was as if he couldn’t hear her questioning. Like he had planned out some speech and was so anxious to get through it he couldn’t allow himself to get sidetracked but she needed to understand what he was apologizing for.

“Harry,” she said sharply, dragging his attention to her face, “what are you talking about? I’m so confused right now.”

He took a deep breath and started over. “Please don’t be angry with her, she was only trying to help.” She must have made a face that screamed confusion so he continued. “My sister told me how you feel. She told me you thought the play was supposed to be a date and she called me a bunch of names for being clueless. I’m truly sorry. I genuinely had no idea that was how you felt.”

Her stomach had dropped through the floor. If she thought she had been embarrassed before, this was something much worse. “Oh um… yeah… don’t worry about it. She really shouldn’t have said anything.” She started to stand up. “You don’t have to do all this, it’s fine I’ll just…” She had started to take a step towards the door when she felt his hand wrap around her wrist and tug her back.

“Please don’t do that. Don’t leave. I want to talk about this. I want to make it up to you.” When she turned to look at him, there was a look of terror on his face at the thought of her leaving.

“I don’t know how you can. You didn’t really do anything, it’s me. It’s something I need to get over.” She reluctantly sat back down.

“I don’t want it to be something you get over,” he said fast, panic in his voice. The candles being placed just so, she could see every little detail of his face as he leaned in closer.

“What? That doesn’t make sense.” Her head shook back and forth. She had more to say, she was going to go on and on about how sad that situation would be, her in love with him, him in love with other people. But he didn’t give her a chance to continue.

“Just… Let me explain okay?” He searched her eyes for permission and when she nodded he continued. “I’ve been stupid okay? When we met I really needed a friend. A shoulder to lean on and I met you and that’s what you were. Then the pandemic happened and I got lonely and Olivia was there. I don’t know, it was just easy. Then when she and I broke up, you and I got to hangout more, like we used to and instead of letting myself ponder how I truly felt about you I started dating someone else. I met with Taylor earlier and we called it off.” He paused to drink some wine with big, long gulps, something she knew he did when he was nervous or stressed so she reached out and squeezed his hand in reassurance and a huge smile lit up his face. “She did this small thing to help me realize it was always going to be you.” Her heart thudded in her chest. “She told me to close my eyes and picture it was my wedding day, something I’ve never done, and she asked who I saw walking towards me and it was the most beautiful picture I’ve ever seen. You were in a custom Harris Reed wedding dress, walking towards me and it was the happiest I’d ever felt. But honestly I think it had to happen this way, me being with her first because otherwise I may have never realized it. So in a way I’m not sorry for that, I’m just sorry I hurt you and I hope that you will still give me a chance. Since the other night wasn’t able to be our first date like you hoped, maybe this can be?” 

He took a deep breath once he was done talking and stared at her nervously. Her mind was going a mile a minute. He met with Taylor to call it off? He pictured her at the end of the aisle? He wanted this to be a date? She didn’t know what to start with. Instead of voicing every thought on her mind she started laughing hysterically. 

“Yeah right! You want to be on a date with me? Me at the end of the aisle? Harry be so serious right now. This is the worst practical joke I’ve ever been on the receiving end of. If me having feelings for you made you that uncomfortable you could have just said, no need to humiliate me this way.” She couldn’t stop laughing despite the fact that what she was saying was anything but funny. She was sure he’d join in any second to confirm her suspicions but when she was able to open her eyes for long enough he looked so mad that she could swear steam was about to erupt from his head. 

“I am being serious! Do you know what the worst part of the last few days was?” When she shook her head he continued. “It was that Gemma told me you thought, no knew, that I’d never see you that way. That I’d never want to ask you on a date and I’ve been feeling so shitty trying to figure out what I’ve done that could make you think such a thing. That the thought alone had made you so sad you didn’t want to see me or talk to me.” 

He looked like he wasn’t done but she had to interrupt him. To explain herself. She gently grabbed his hands again and spoke softly and more seriously this time. 

“Harry. You didn’t necessarily do anything, I’ve just… I mean… look at you,” she gestured at him then back to herself, “and look at me. There’s just no universe in which I’d get the guy y’a know? And that’s okay, really. I love being a part of your life no matter what. Besides I’ve seen your exes, even ones I haven’t met personally, and they’re all, well you know, smaller and prettier and the kind of girls that do get the guy. I really need to just try harder to find someone in my league even if it means it’s not you.” 

He started to cry and she hated it. She didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. 

“Y/n how could you say those things about yourself? You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met, inside and out. If anything you are out of my league and I’d be lucky to end up with you. And I hate myself for never showing you properly how beautiful and special you are.” 

She stood up and came around to his side of the booth and sat beside him. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” she picked his hands up and held them in hers again, “Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’ve just gone a very long time feeling like no one could ever love me, so it’s hard to believe you could want me that way. And to be fair, it’s not like I ever told you how special and beautiful I think you are. I never really gave you the chance to return the sentiment.”

He leaned his forehead against hers and brought one of his hands to her face, pulling her closer. “But you have. I just wasn’t listening properly. All your songs, it’s so obvious, I’ve just been in my own world and I’m so sorry.” His thumb swiped away moisture from her cheek she wasn’t aware had formed. “I don’t know if I can love you the way you love me, but I’d like to give it my best shot.” He kissed her cheek and pulled her into a proper hug. 

“Ok. If you’re sure.” He pulled back from her shoulder nodding and she continued. “But I don’t think this should be our first date.” His face fell. “Only because I ruined the mood.” She did her best to smile. “You had such a beautiful evening planned and a perfect apology and I threw it in your face, you deserve better.”

He shook his head, “we deserve better.” The waiter came by again to see if they were ready to order, pulling them out of their own little bubble and Harry told him they needed another moment. Once he had gone again he returned to his thoughts. “I think you’re right. Tonight didn’t go exactly as I planned but we should also have it be more special. I should put more effort in and court you properly like you deserve. I just couldn’t wait to see you and tell you how I feel that I forgot about going about this in the right way. You’ve wanted this for so long, you deserve to know it’s a date before you’re on it.”

“I think that sounds great.” She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek this time. “Now shall we have dinner? I’m actually really hungry.” 

As if on cue her stomach let out a loud unpleasant noise. His eyes widened and shot down to it then lifted back up to hers. 

“Apparently,” he said and she burst out laughing, making him smile too. 

She got up to return to her side of the booth. Once she was sitting back down she noticed he looked disappointed at the space so she slipped her ankle around his under the table while she picked up her menu. As if she was going to order something other than her usual. She always ordered the same thing even though every time they leave she says she’ll try something new next time. 

When the waiter came back they placed their orders and he took their menus. She finally allowed her gaze to return to Harry and he looked positively giddy. 

“What?” she said. 

“I just love you.”

Her heart did somersaults in her chest. He hadn’t actually said those words yet. She picked up his hand again and brought it to her mouth. She placed the most delicate kisses to each knuckle and then lowered it, intertwining their fingers before resting them on the table. 

“I love you too.”

They just smiled at one another for a moment and then his face lit up in something akin to realization. 

“You’re supposed to be leaving this week.” It came out deflated. 

“Yeah. Jack and I only have the studio for three more days. But I don’t have anything else for a couple weeks so I could always stay longer.”

His smile came back. 

“Good,” he said. “I want to take you on our first date.” He paused, looking deep in thought like he was battling his next thought. “I guess since we talked all this out I can go ahead and ask. Do you want to work on my next album with me?”

Her cheeks were going to break from all this smiling after four days of mostly crying, but he was just too cute. 

“Harry, did you think because I was sad I wouldn’t want to work on a project with you?” He nodded and she spoke again. “You should know I’m always going to say yes to you.” She twisted the ring on his middle finger, one she had given him last Christmas. 

“No it’s just that…” he seemed unsure of how to say what he wanted so she gave his hand another gentle squeeze. “Gemma told me it would be inconsiderate to have you work on songs about someone else but to be honest now they’re more likely to be about you.”

“I’m going to have to have a serious talk with my sister-in-law then.” She’s always referred to Gemma as her sister but she didn’t realize she’d never done so in front of him because the look that took over his face was a sight for sore eyes. “Maybe I’m a masochist but I would have still said yes. I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t ask me to be your collaborator. That’s what brought us together. It’s what we do best. I mean not to sound narcissistic but no one will ever strike gold the way we did with Fine Line.”

He laughed brightly at her comment. 

“Well,” He started, a smirk taking over his face, “hopefully it won’t be the thing we’re best at for long.” He dropped his left eye in a wink and she cackled. 

“You’re insane. Talking about wanting to court me properly then not an hour later you’re trying to get me into bed.” She nudged his shin with her foot playfully. 

Another wave of silence fell over them but it was peaceful and easy because things were always easy with them. Their food came and they ate with little conversation but kept up their playful glances and touches. When they were done eating, Harry stood up and took out his wallet. 

“H, he hasn’t even brought the check.” 

“I know but I can’t wait to get you alone.” He fished what she thought to be way too much money out of his wallet, probably close to £1000 for a meal that was maybe £200, and dropped it on the table. He extended his hand to her and she took it. 

“Do you want to come to mine?” He asked once they were out the door. 

“Mr. Styles! Are you suggesting that we should engage in premarital sex? How scandalous of you.” 

She giggled once she got the words out and he laughed loudly. They stopped for a moment on the sidewalk and he turned to face her. 

“Well, not necessarily but I certainly wouldn’t be opposed.” 

He had her favorite of his smiles plastered on his face and she couldn’t take it any longer. She reached up, planted both her hands on his face and pulled his lips to hers. He let out a squawk of surprise at first and then his hands came to her waist, following her lead effortlessly. He broke them apart after only a moment and she let out a whine of disappointment. 

“Baby, we should really wait until we get home,” he said softly.

Butterflies erupted throughout her whole body. She grabbed his hand again, interlacing their fingers, and smiled up at him. 

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

[hsfan94]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

This is so crazy 😭😭😭

[hsfan94]

AN: Cleaning out my drafts. This is one I wrote in 2022. It was originally just going to be angst but I'm not as depressed now as I was when I wrote it so I changed the ending up. Hope you like it.

Done

Harry had been pissing Y/N off a lot lately. It was mostly little things but two very big ones felt relevant to where she finds herself right now. Y/n could not get into his October 2nd show. She had told Harry many times it would be the only one she could make work with her schedule. This weekend she had flown to Austin to spend it with him and attend that show. However, on Saturday he had already made plans to go golfing with Beto and McConaughey, which she felt she didn't have the right to be mad at him as they were going to talk about Texan politics and she knew he was passionate about changing America's current climate, but knowing that didn't make it hurt less that she had made room in her calendar and he had forgotten. They had barely seen each other all weekend and now as she stood at the backstage entrance arguing with a security guard about whether or not she and Harry were in fact involved, she had had it.

"Baby, you know why it's a secret." Harry wasn't facing her. He was packing his tour clothes while she pleaded for him to change his mind about privacy.

"That doesn't make it hurt less, H. I mean people have drawn their own conclusions about you and," she had to pause because this would segue into another argument they had been having recently and she had to be delicate. "Her."

He dropped the shirt he held and turned around. "There is no me and her."

Y/n had asked many times if there was something between him and Olivia. They had somewhat of a close connection that he claimed only to be friendship. Y/n could not stand the woman and hated that Harry spent so much time with her for many reasons. The scariest thought being that he had been intimate with her.

"That might be true, but because of how secretive you are about us," she motioned between them with her hand, "they think you are with her. How am I supposed to feel?"

"You could not listen to the court of public opinion." He turned back around to his clothes.

"Harry. I love you so much but I am tired of feeling like the only one who fights for us." She didn't want to voice that thought aloud but felt like she had to.

He whipped around this time and walked up to her.

"You think I don't fight for us? That I mean more to you than you mean to me? Y/n you have to know how false that is. I fight every day to keep what we have between us to protect you. If you were subjected to the cruelty that comes with being my partner you would leave me."

"Harry, I can't believe you think that would ever happen. That just proves that I'm right. You would rather keep me a secret in the dark than fight for us in the light."

She had walked away after that. The conversation of their privacy had been a reoccurring one. It would be different if Y/N were some random person that he'd just begun dating but they had been together for three years. She had planned to be in the business too when they met but wanted to go to University first. With Harry's help she'd actually already done some stuff and although she wasn't famous people at her school recognised her often. All that said, she knew why his privacy was important to him but at what cost? They couldn't live their lives normally. And right now she is witnessing first hand why her being a secret is an issue.

"I promise, I'm on the list. What do you need me to do to prove that?"

"I'm sorry ma'am but I was instructed not to let anyone in if they weren't on the team."

Y/n scoffed at this.

"I just saw you let in Beto O'Rourke."

"He's a politician ma'am, not a nobody."

Her heart cracked. Harry and his stupid privacy had gotten her labelled as a nobody.

"Just give me a minute." She held up her hand and took out her phone to call Harry. He didn't answer. "That's weird." She called him two more times. No answer. On her last attempt it went straight to voicemail. He let it die. "His phone died." She looked at the security guard who wasn't buying it.

"Convenient."

"No this really is his number see." She turned her phone around to show him her screen. It just said 'baby' with a heart next to it.

"Ma'am please don't make me call the police."

"Please." She begged. "I flew all the way out here. I'm missing shifts at work. I know anything about him just ask me anything."

"What is he wearing today?"

The one thing she didn't know.

"I don't actually know. We haven't seen each other yet."

"Right. Ma'am, please exit the premises."

She sighed in defeat and wandered back to their hotel.

His friendship with Olivia bothered her because if it had been Olivia tonight, she would have gotten in no problem. Olivia got all the perks of being his girlfriend even though she wasn't. She got to be on Vogue, Lamby styled her, she got invited to Gucci events and even got to go to as many shows as she wanted. It drove Y/n up a wall that Harry didn't see the issue. He just brushed off her complaints by saying she was jealous of Olivia’s success and that pissed her off because she didn’t think of her as successful. In fact it was obvious to Y/n that Olivia was using Harry to get all those things. She saw how Olivia played into the dating rumours. She ate that shit up.

Y/n just watched the clock in Harry’s hotel room all night thinking about what to do. She loved him but she was tired. Tonight really hurt her. She couldn’t pretend everything was fine. It struck 11:30 and she knew he’d be coming through the door any moment. She never thought she would consider leaving but here she was, thinking about all that has gone wrong in the last few months and realizing she has to do what is best for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry felt like tonight was his best performance in Austin. He was so glad that Beto witnessed it and he was so glad his love witnessed it. He searched for her backstage before the show but when he couldn’t find her he assumed she had decided to sit in the stands.

He skipped down the hall of the hotel so excited to see her finally after almost a month apart. When he walked through his hotel room door, however, he immediately felt the tension.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

She laughed emotionlessly.

“Thats a joke right?” She looked at him from where she sat on the bed, disappointment radiating off her.

“No. I’m serious.” He was lost.

“Harry, I can’t do it anymore.”

His heart dropped.

“Can’t do what?” He really didn’t understand.

“This. I just wasted my weekend.”

“You didn’t enjoy the show?” He felt himself being crushed from the inside out.

“You mean the one I couldn’t get into?”

“What?” He saw tears fall over her eyes.

“I didn’t get in because no one besides you, the band and Jeff know who I am. The security guard thought I was crazy.”

“Oh baby, why didn’t you call me?” He sat next to her now.

“I did. Five times and then your phone died.”

Harry tried to reach out and rub her back but she got to her feet as fast as he lifted his hand.

“Look, I get it, privacy is very important to you. I’ve been very understanding of you’re past relationship trauma and of your career, but if you can’t admit to people that you love me how am I supposed to believe you?” She took a deep breath and continued. “I know you love me, I just didn’t know I was signing up for permanent secrecy and it’s not like I want fame or attention, but I feel I deserve to be loved loud and I want to be able to love you loud.”

She was still turned away from him and he was getting really scared. He couldn't imagine life without her and she sounded like she was about to leave it, leave him.

“Baby, what are you trying to say?”

She turned back towards him and uttered the most horrible words. “I need space. A lot of it. To figure out what I want.”

He just nodded. His mouth wouldn’t form words anymore.

As if that was some kind of permission she’d been waiting on, she grabbed her bag that was at the foot of the bed and walked out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry finished the first few songs and took a big drink of water and a deep breath. He knew what he needed to do, what he should have done a long time ago. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

“Thank you, Austin!” The crowd cheered. “How are we doing tonight?” More cheers. “I’m going to be honest with you Austin, I’m not doing so well. Yesterday, someone very important to me was supposed to be here at the show and they didn’t get to come, all because of me. So, if you don’t mind a small interruption of the show, I wanted to talk to you guys about the situation.”

Some people awed and some cheered again as if they were just glad to be in the room.

“Back in 2019, I met an extraordinary young woman, who very quickly became my best friend. A short time into our friendship she told me she loved me. We weren’t dating at the time, just very close but that was the best day of my life. We entered into a relationship shortly after. I have had a hard time keeping people I care for deeply around since my career started and I told her we should keep it private, between us, to protect it. But the word private quickly translated to secret and I’ve been an ass. Y/N, the love of my life, has stuck by me the last three years despite having to keep our relationship off social media and out of the press. I hadn’t realized anything was wrong with how we loved because when I wasn’t at work we got to be in this little bubble but I’ve been breaking her heart over and over. Yesterday, she was supposed to be here and she couldn’t get inside.” Harry had to pause to hold back tears. Just thinking about her outside feeling embarrassed and sad made him hate himself so much. “She came down to Austin this weekend to hangout with me. She took time out of her busy schedule and I left her alone in a hotel room and alone outside this arena all because I was afraid if you all knew I cared for her she’d leave me. In turn my own actions have almost led to that. She left last night very upset with me so I wanted to try and make it up to her by telling you all all about her. She’s a music industry student at USC and she worked with me on Fine Line. She’s a brilliant writer and producer and she’s my best friend. I love her very much and I hope to marry her one day, if she can ever forgive me for how I’ve acted.” He felt he might be word vomiting at this point so he wrapped it up. “Y/n, I’m sorry and I love you. From now on I’ll love you loud. This is Boyfriends.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s eyes burned and her body ached with sleep deprivation but she couldn’t bring herself to relax enough. She had not had a proper night’s sleep since Saturday night. It was now Tuesday and she hadn’t spoken to Harry in over 24 hours, the longest they’ve ever gone without speaking. Sure, she requested he give her space and he knew better than to fight her on that but it took its toll on her. She felt his absence heavy on her chest. She didn’t want to end things, and this wasn’t what that was, but the last few months have been so emotionally draining and she thinks it might have to be done.

She climbed out of bed and made her way slowly to the kitchen. The house felt empty with just her. She put the mocha pot on the stove and turned on their television that faced the kitchen from the sitting room. The Today Show was on and she would normally be so excited because she hardly ever gets the chance to watch it, but she can’t even bring the faintest of smiles to her lips.

“This is an interesting story that broke the internet last night,” Hoda said. Her cheery voice filling the empty rooms. “Harry Styles made a very emotional speech that he paired with a shocking announcement at his show last night.”

Y/n tensed from head to toe at the mention of him and how he broke the internet. She didn’t even know about this because she’d been avoiding social media.

“We have a very sweet clip of it, take a look.” Hoda disappeared and Harry took up their TV screen.

His voice dragged her out of her shock and she walked slowly towards the picture. He was saying things she always wanted to hear and her cheeks were suddenly wet with tears at the sight of how broken up he seemed at the thought of losing her.

“Y/n, I’m sorry and I love you. From now on I’ll love you loud. This is Boyfriends.”

Then he vanished and Hoda reappeared to make her own comments about how sweet the speech was and how she had no idea despite just having him at the show in May, but Y/n was no longer listening.

She walked back over to the kitchen, where her coffee had long been forgotten, and picked up her phone to call him.

He answered immediately to no surprise of her own as she just watched the most heart wrenching video of him to date.

“Baby?” His voice broke and he sounded like he thought he imagined a call from her.

“H. I saw you. This morning on the today show. I can’t believe you did that.”

“No. I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.” He choked the words out. She could tell there was more so she waited patiently. “I almost lost you. I might have lost you. That might have been too late and it was all my fault. I’ve been so stupid and so cowardly and I promise I’m done hiding you.”

“It’s not too late.” She spoke quietly. “Did you mean it? The part about wanting to marry me?” They hadn’t really talked about marriage before. They’d just been living their life to the fullest (or the closest to when you’re dodging cameras like the plague) so she was shocked when he used the m-word.

“Absolutely. I’d marry you tomorrow if you let me.” He paused, as if waiting for her to respond but when she remained silent he went on. "I really can't imagine a life without you in it. That's why I've been so careful about keeping you out of the public eye. I'm sorry I made you feel the way you did. It breaks my heart thinking about how sad I've made you and I promise I'm going to spend every moment until I die making it right."

"Don't do that," she said softly. "Don't make me think about you dying. It's bad enough Olivia made me watch you die on camera."

He chuckled softly. "Okay, baby. But I mean it. If you'll still have me, I'm going to do things right from now on."

She smiled against her phone. "Of course I'll still have you. I won't lie, H, I seriously did contemplate ending it but just the last day without you, without being able to text you, I don't think I'd survive a real breakup. So, I guess you're stuck with me forever, just don't fuck up anymore."

"Never again, I promise." She imagined him shaking his head aggressively like he always does when he's serious.

"Okay then, I love you. When will I see you again?"

"I love you too, and um... how's right now? Is it a good time?" There was a beat and then she heard their door open.

She hung-up, set her phone down and ran to the entryway.

Standing just on the inside of the front door was Harry. He had on grey sweatpants and a t-shirt she was 99% sure belonged to her. He looked like shit, as if like her, he hadn't slept and had been crying a lot.

Still he never looked better. She ran towards him and he caught her seamlessly. She wrapped herself all the way around him. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

"How are you here right now?" Her voice as quiet as breath against his ear.

"I knew you had wanted space, but I had planned on coming home between Austin and Chicago to surprise you before you asked for it so I came anyway. I was staying close by and when you called I just thought maybe it meant I could come home so I got in my car and headed over."

His arms tightened around her and she turned her head into his neck to kiss him ever so lightly. She felt his hand come up and cup her behind her neck, squeezing slightly and then pulling her face back to look at her. He pressed his forehead against hers and spoke again.

"I'm truly sorry, baby. It won't happen ever again. I can't promise I'll never fuck up again but I'm done being quiet about how much you mean to me."

He kissed her softly and she brought her hands up to cup his face. Then to her disappointment he lowered her back to the ground. She expected him to stay put but he sunk to his knees. At first she though he was about to physically apologise until she realised he was on one knee.

"This is super unplanned and not what I had in mind, but I can't think of waiting any longer. You are my best friend, my writing partner, my confidant and partner in crime. You are already everything to me but it would make me so happy if you would also agree to be my wife." He took her favourite ring of his off his finger and held it out to her. "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes filled with tears as she shakily nodded her head. "Yes. Of course."

He put the ring on her trembling hand and stood back up. He brought his hands up to her face and kissed her again, this one being deeper than the other.

When he pulled back he whispered, "I love you so much," and then buried his head in her neck.

Y/n had never been happier.

[hsfan94]

AN: I’m cleaning out my drafts and this was just a little baby idea I had that I couldn’t make work past a tiny blurb

Jealousy

Y/n didn’t get jealous easily. She knew Harry only had eyes for her. And that said a lot because he has a lot of attractive fans that he could easily have if he wanted them. But it was her for him.

Y/n was so proud of her boy getting not just one but two great roles back to back. She was so excited to get to see him on the big screen again. However, when she realized both roles came with intimacy scenes she started to feel a bit uncomfortable. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Harry do those things but she wasn’t sure how she felt about watching him do them to other people. She hadn’t been on set of either film due to Covid and she wasn’t available to go to the premieres with him. She had posted about both and encouraged others to go watch but couldn’t bring herself to go.

By the time ‘My Policeman’ was streaming, she hadn’t even seen ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ yet and Harry was starting to get suspicious.

“My love, what did you think of the films? You haven’t said anything.”

She couldn’t lie to him.

“I haven’t seen them.” She wouldn’t look at him. Her head was hanging low.

“What?” He sounded so hurt and it made her hate herself.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so proud of you, always, but I’m nervous about watching them.”

“Why’s that?”

“Don’t want to see you with other people.” It was so quiet. Almost like a whisper.

“Oh.” He didn’t expect that. He knew she was excited about the movies so not having heard any feed back he was worried she thought they were bad. He had to say this knowledge wasn’t any better.

“I’m sorry, H. I wanna watch them. I do. I just. I’m scared is all.”

“No I get it. Do you want to watch them together?”

She smiled at him and nodded.

They watched both of them, back to back, that night.

[hsfan94]

New Girl

Chapter 1

Y/n never expected to find herself in this position. After moving to London for Uni when she was 18, she knew she never wanted to leave, but London's quite expensive. So when her boyfriend suggested they move in together after they graduated it seemed like a no brainer. What she didn't see coming was to come home early form her trip to Majorca with the girls to find him shagging the 18 year old from the coffee shop downstairs. They had been together for over five years. She thought they were going to get married. So, she had to move out, but she still couldn't live alone. In fact, she needed somewhere even cheaper than the loft above the coffee shop her boyfriend owned as she was a teacher. She moved in with her friend Perrie for a bit but Perrie already had two roommates and her flat was getting quite crowded. One day while she was at work she started searching online for a solution and that's how she ended up here, in front of three guys around her age.

"When I responded to the ad, I thought you were women," she laughed nervously. She had just told them why she needed a place to live.

"Why, why would you say that?" The guy with the Irish accent asked (she hadn't caught their names).

"Niall wrote the ad," the one with the deep voice stated with a smirk on his face, a dimple popping out slightly.

"I guess the diction you used, 'castle like exterior' and 'elegant decor' and the fact that the complex is called Princess Park. But my mistake honestly." She stood up from the couch and started to walk around. "This place is honestly really gorgeous. So much nicer than Braden's place, it's hard to say his name." She cleared her throat, trying not to cry.

"It's okay," Niall said, "Harry knows, he got dumped."

"I didn't get dumped," the one with the deep voice challenged, but Niall just quirked an eyebrow and he caved, "yeah I got dumped."

"I want to live here," she said. She was standing in the open kitchen now and exploring the different objects on the counter.

"Hold on, we still have questions," Harry spoke again, "I mean you just walked through the door."

"Fair, that's fair." She looked between them. "Well, as you can tell, I'm American. I moved to London for school when I was eighteen and I graduated from Richmond University with a degree in teaching. I stayed here afterwards cause I just loved the city too much to leave. I teach year 3 and those kids are my life. I'm pretty sad about the breakup still so I'll be watching a lot of rom-coms, Love Actually is my favourite. I just can't live with my friend anymore, she and her roommates are models and their friends that are models come over a lot and I'm rambling now sorry."

She looked up to see them all thinking it over.

"Any questions for us?" Harry said.

"Not really," she shrugged. Y/n knew she probably should ponder about these men but there was something in her gut telling her she could trust them. Then she realised something, "What's your name?" She looked at the shorter one with blue eyes as she spoke to him. He had yet to say anything and she felt it was only fair to know all their names before completely throwing caution to the wind.

"Louis," he said.

"He's a boy of few words, Tommo, but he's a hoot once you get him to open up," Niall said.

"Just give us a minute will you?"

The three of them walked down the hall.

She could hear them from the other side of the bathroom door.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ni,” Harry said.

“Yeah mate I don’t want to live with a girl.” Louis spoke the most he had this whole time.

“Did you guys not hear her? Her friends are hot. Like professionally hot. Do you know what this means?”

“I just don’t know. I mean living with women has its perks,” Harry spoke again, “but it can have its downside too. I just don’t know if we’re ready for that.”

“You know what, executive decision she’s in,” Niall said with finality. Y/n wouldn’t have pegged him as the ring leader but he sure was acting like it.

She straightened up as the door opened and pretended she hadn’t been listening.

“You’re in,” Harry said.

“Thank you guys! You won’t regret it I swear.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Y/n made good on her promise and watched Love Actually. As Harry made his way to the kitchen and he passed by her strung out on the couch with a box of tissues and quoting all the lines, he let a small smile stretch across his face. She was just the cutest thing he'd seen and he knew he was in trouble.

Upon finding Louis and Niall in the kitchen he had an idea.

"I think we need to form an agreement of sorts," he said as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Yeah? On what?" Louis looked up from his phone.

"We need to agree that none of us will make a move on her. Not only because she's vulnerable because of the breakup, but also because that could get messy and we really need a roommate." He hoped it wasn't obvious he was suggesting it to protect himself.

"Okay. Sounds like a good idea to me," Niall chimed in, moving the pots on the stove around. "Let's come up with some rules, write 'em down and sign it, like a proper contract."

And so the no shag oath was formed.

On his way back to his room he noticed she had started the movie over and it really was his favourite so he asked to join.

"Sure! The more the merrier." She didn't take her eyes off the movie so he thought she was done but then she spoke again. "You know, I want us to be friends. Like life can get lonely when you're an adult so I think the beauty of having roommates is that you always have someone to talk to."

That was it. She didn't look at him once, almost as if she was unaware of how deep and honest her words were. They watched the rest of the film in peace and went their separate ways to bed and as Harry fell asleep that night he couldn't help but let her side profile flitter through his mind.

AN: I'm obsessed with New Girl and have wanted to put my own spin on it for ages. This will be my first series! Hope you guys are as excited as me.

[hsfan94]

Dress

Y/n and Harry had an interesting friendship. They were best friends sure but people always suspected they were more. At first Harry brushed it off and laughed about it even but as time went on the jokes got old. Simply because he could no longer tell where the boundaries were anymore either and he didn’t need outsiders putting their two cents in.

The first time he felt the shift in their relationship was a little over three years ago.

Dancing around the kitchen in the middle of the night Harry realised he'd never had a friend like her before. They'd been friends for a little over two years. He couldn't remember what it was like before her and he didn't want to imagine a time without her.

They were in his New York apartment. After going out to dinner and getting chased by that stupid TMZ guy that's obsessed with him, he suggested she stay at his place since it was closer. That's how they ended up drinking three bottles of Rozé and dancing around like lunatics. Her drunkenness caused her to take a wrong step which sent them both to the floor. He landed on top of her in somewhat of a compromising pose and they both bursted out laughing.

"I've never been this drunk on wine before." She confessed. She wouldn't have told anyone something like that before but his eyes had some sort of truth serum in them.

"Oh yeah?" He could have stared at her for hours.

"That's probably because I don't usually have more than a glass at a time." She impulsively reached up to brush a stray curl out of his face. "You're a bad influence, Harry Styles."

"Where have you been all my life Y/n?"

"Waiting to be a part of it." She wasn't even sure what she meant.

He almost kissed her. If she hadn't swatted at his butt and said, "move I gotta pee," he would have crossed that line. He spent the rest of the night thinking about what it would be like if he had. What else might have happened? Maybe eventually she would even live in the very flat they were in.

He was beyond prepared for the badgering he would get when he told his friends they were doing a joint birthday celebration this year. Their birthdays are so close together and they’ve always talked about celebrating together out of convenience and this year it was happening. And sure enough the teasing had been endless.

“So, H, is it like a coming out party? Are you and the missus finally taking that step?” Jeff asked, sipping his coffee. They were having a meeting about his birthday shows when Jeff read the email invite from Y/n.

The design she went with was adorable and so perfectly her that Harry couldn’t find it in him to make changes when she asked him to edit.

“Come on, Jeff. We’ve been over this.”

“Seriously I think it’s a cute idea. I just wish you two would stop fucking around and get together.”

He received texts from Mitch, Sarah and Ben that day as well all stating something similar. Harry kind of hoped it would be that kind of party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n was nervous. She knew what she wanted for her birthday this year and she wasn’t going to let anything get in her way. She had been trying to cross the line with Harry for so long. Unfortunately for her, they had horrible timing. One of them was always taken. That night in the kitchen when he almost kissed her she had to run away because she was seeing someone. She would have had sex with Harry right there on her floor if they had kissed and she didn’t want to be a cheater. When he got cast as Jack in ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ they had been staying together and she thought for sure that would be it. Then he came home drunk one night proclaiming love for Olivia and she was proper annoyed. She hadn’t expected it to go on for two years either. So when they broke up, she wanted to give him time to process, but she was ready to go for it as soon as she thought he’d had enough time. And what better way to do that than at their birthday party?

“I don’t know about this one,” she said, looking herself up and down. The black silk gown adorning her body not quite living up to expectation.

She had decided to buy a new dress for the party for the sole purpose of it aiding in her confession.

“I think you look stunning.” Julia stood behind her looking at it from all angles.

“I don’t know Jules. I want his jaw to hit the floor.” She turned around to grab the other one she picked out.

“You say that like his jaw wouldn’t hit the floor if you showed up in sweats.” Julia rolled her eyes as she exited the changing room.

“Shut up. You know what I mean. I’m just scared” Y/n said.

“Why?”

“Because what if he’s just a big flirt. Part of me feels like if he really wanted me he would have done something about it already.” Y/n knew her and Harry were meant to be but she couldn’t figure out why it hadn’t happened yet. So she couldn’t help but worry she was wrong sometimes.

“And I think you severely overestimate men. They don’t always know what they want. Or what they need.”

Y/n opened the curtain and showed Julia the dress.

“This is the one,” they spoke in sync and then they laughed.

“Okay babes get changed and we can get lunch and game plan some more.” Julia ushered her back into the changing room.

She looked over herself in the mirror and sighed happily. It really was the one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry hadn’t actually seen Y/n in a long time. They emailed and texted or called everyday, but she hadn’t been around as much lately due to conflicting schedules. At least she claimed it was her schedule. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew she did not like Olivia and to be honest he hoped it was cause she was jealous. He’d never actually admit it though. Since it had been months since a proper Y/n and Harry moment he could not contain his excitement at seeing her tonight. In fact, he was staring at the entrance to the venue with utmost concentration waiting (not so patiently) for her arrival. Y/n loved being fashionably late. So, Harry was nodding along pretending to be listening to whatever Niall was telling him waiting for his best friend to finally show up.

When Y/n walked through the door, everything stopped. Time stood still. At least Harry thought so anyway, until Niall noticed he no longer had his friend's attention.

"Ah I see. Go talk to her mate."

Without another word Harry all but stormed up to her.

"Hi," he said smiling down at her.

"Hi, Harry. How are you?" She gave him a hug and upon pulling back she stayed attached to him, looking up at him from within his embrace.

"A lot better now."

After another minute of just staring at her, he noticed Julia who had come in beside her.

"Miss Michaels, how are you this evening?"

"Great," Julia replied, "Everything looks fantastic you all did a good job."

Julia and Y/n exchanged a look that Harry couldn't decipher and then she spoke again.

"I'm going to go catch up with Niall. I'll see you lovebirds later."

She skipped away before Harry could say anything about her comment.

“Lovebirds?” He questioned Y/n who was just staring at him, dare he say starry eyed.

“What’s wrong? Is that not accurate?” Y/n was playing with fire. She wanted to really test him.

“What do you mean, lovie?” Harry’s heart started beating faster.

She didn’t want to lay it all out just yet so she leaned up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t want you like a best friend.” Then she cheekily squeezed his left ass cheek and scampered away.

Harry was left speechless watching her walk away. And damn did that dress look good from the back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n wasn’t avoiding Harry per se but she was definitely putting space between them. She was currently talking to Jeff about future projects he could help her with and her and Harry kept meeting eyes. She couldn’t tell how well received her ass grab and best friend remark were and it was driving her crazy. So crazy she decided to just ask his friend.

“I hate to interrupt your thought J, but I have to ask you something.”

“No worries what’s up?” Jeff was always so understanding.

“I’ve been sending all these signals, I mean for years, and I feel like I get nothing in return and it’s driving me crazy.” She started to ramble.

“Y/n. Breathe. Get to the point.” Jeff chuckled at her frustration because he knew what the question was.

“Ok. Umm. How do I put this? Does Harry ever talk about me? Like in a romantic way?”

“You mean is he in love with you?” Jeff asked.

She nodded. He looked over at Harry only to find him shamelessly staring at Y/n. His eyes were traveling all over her body, completely ignoring Mitch and Sarah who were stood beside him, and Jeff had to end it.

“Yes he’s been madly in love with you for years, but between you and me,” he looked between Y/n and Harry, “he’s a big pussy.”

Y/n cackled. She had never heard Jeff say that word and it was fucking hilarious, especially in the context of describing her silly best friend, her love.

“Thank you. So much. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make an announcement.”

Y/n scurried over to the stage they had set up for toasts and karaoke.

“Excuse me everyone.”

The crowd went silent and all eyes were on her.

“First I want to thank you all for coming. It means so much to Harry and I. We love each and every one of you.”

She looked at Harry and saw how confused he looked.

“I just umm. I have an announcement to make and I don’t know how to form my own words for it. The irony is not lost on me as a songwriter.”

The crowd laughed.

“But I’ve tried to write songs about this in the past few days and I’ve just had major writer’s block so, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to borrow words from my friend Taylor.”

She looked at Taylor who gave her a thumbs up.

“Alright then. This song is called Dress.”

The music started playing and everyone except Harry seemed to understand immediately.

“Our secret moments, in a crowded room. They got no idea about me and you.” She made eye contact with Harry as she sang.

“Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo. All of this silence and patience. Pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you.”

She lifted up a shaky hand and everyone laughed including Harry who had seemed to catch on a little.

“Say my name and everything just stops. I don’t want you like a best friend. Only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

On that line she got bold. She pointed to her dress and then to him and his eyes shot wide open. Then she gestured him closer with her finger and he complied, slowly approaching the stage himself.

“Inescapable, I’m not even gonna try and if I get burned at least we were electrified.”

He was on the stage now.

“Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about.” She held the mic out to him and he sang, understanding it was meant to be a mutual announcement.

“All of this silence and patience pining and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you.” He lifted his hands up hovering them above her face but not touching to animate the line. Everyone laughed again.

They sang the rest of the song loosely but Y/n finished alone with the line “Only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

The music ended and the crowd cheered. Then, somebody (Y/n swears it was Jeff immediately followed by Taylor) started chanting “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss”. And they did.

Harry’s hands finally found placement on her cheeks and their lips met delicately. It was a perfect first kiss. When they broke away but he was still so close she whispered “I love you,” and he kissed her again.

“I love you too.”

A/n: I thought about writing more (maybe what they do after the party), but I also wanted to post this before it had been too long after his birthday. So I hope you like it. Comment if you want more from this universe.

[hsfan94]

Christmas Prank

An: I ran out of time to make this as great as I wanted but I hope you like it. Merry Christmas lovies!

Y/n had been wanting to pull a prank on Harry for a while. It all started when he got her good on his birthday this year.

“Happy birthday, Harry!” She sang as she skipped into their bedroom with fresh chocolate chip pancakes for him.

“It’s not a very happy one, Y/n,” he said.

“What do you mean, my love? You just woke up?”

“We need to talk.”

“What?” She started to panic. She set his food down next to him. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I just don’t think I want you to be my girlfriend anymore.” He sat up and took a sip of the coffee she brought him. He seemed so unbothered.

She had no idea where this was coming from.

“What, why? Since when?” She felt her heart drop.

“I don’t know. I’m just kind of tired of calling you my girlfriend.”

He leaned over and opened his bedside drawer. She couldn’t focus on his movements though as her whole world was falling apart.

“Harry, where is this coming from? Did I do something wrong? I love you, I can't live without you.”

She started sobbing and that caused him to pull her to the bed next to him. She could feel something in his hand on her back but she couldn’t open her eyes.

“Lovie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have listened to Niall.”

Now she was really confused.

“Huh?” She pulled back from where her head had been buried in his neck to look at him. He was pouting at her.

“He said this would be a funny way to do it and it would catch you off guard.”

He pulled his arm from behind her back, revealing the object in his hand to be a small black velvet box.

“Oh.” She saw where this was going and although she was livid, she was also speechless.

“All I want for my birthday is for you to agree to be my wife, although now I think I’ve ruined my chance.”

He opened it up to reveal the most beautiful ring ever.

“I’d love to be your wife. I’m so glad you don’t want to break up.” She kissed him. “However, this was horribly mean of you so I don’t know when, I don’t know how but I will get you back.”

He smiled and put the ring on her finger.

Despite being so excited to officially be the future Mrs. Styles, she still owed her fiancé some payback.

Harry was on tour until the 13th so he asked her to do the shopping for him and that was his mistake. He gave her a great idea. Y/n bought real presents, the ones Harry had on his list, as well as gag presents for Anne and Gemma. She had called them a couple weeks ago when she was out shopping to let them in on it and get their help. They were excited to be a part of her plan. She had everything wrapped up and in the car ready for their drive to Holmes Chapel and he was none the wiser.

Now, everyone (Anne, Darren, Gemma, Michael, Harry and Y/n) was sat around the living room about to exchange gifts and Y/n was practically buzzing in her seat.

“Baby, do you want to give your mum and sister theirs first?” She leaned her head back to look at her fiancé.

She had been sitting on the floor with Harry on the couch behind her with his legs on either side of her shoulders. Her head was resting on his knee as she peeked up at him.

“Sure. Will you hand them to them?”

She nodded and practically jumped up to give the gifts to her in-laws. She winked at them as she handed them their gifts.

“Harry picked these out for you guys.” She couldn’t contain her smile.

She sat back down, this time on Harry’s late so she could look at his reaction up close.

Anne went first, slowly pulling the tissue out of her bag. Before showing the family what it was she gasped in excitement for dramatic effect.

“You picked this out, Harry? How did you know I’ve always wanted one?”

“I sure did. And you talk about it all the time.”

Y/n snickered and Anne took that as her cue to keep going. She pulled out an intricately laced black teddy. Y/n looked at Harry because his grip on her leg had tightened. His eyes were blown wide and his cheeks were starting to pink.

“I love it. Thank you both very much.”

“I- I-“ He stumbled on words.

It was priceless, Y/n thought.

“Gemma, you go next,” she said. Her arms, which were draped around her fiancé, pulled him closer in an attempt to seem unbothered.

“Darling, what happened to what was on the list?” Harry finally whispered in her ear.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” She looked at him and brushed his hair back. Then, she turned to her future sister-in-law and said, “go on Gem.”

Gemma didn’t drag it out as her mother did. In fact she took a completely different approach overall. Pulling out a red laced teddy she looked at her brother with a horrified expression.

“Harry! How do you think these are appropriate gifts for your family?”

“I- I don’t. I don’t know what’s happening.” He looked at Y/n as if waiting for an explanation.

“Please darling, you and I both know that’s not true. You made the list and I did the shopping.”

Was this gaslighting? Maybe she was taking it too far but she was getting a kick out of it.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, pure shock on his face. He looked around the room a few times.

After Y/n felt she’d had enough she busted out laughing. Anne and Gemma followed her.

“Baby, I’m sorry. But I never got over your proposal so I wanted to get you back. The real presents are still under the tree.” She pulled him close and kissed the side of his head.

“You should have seen your face, Harry,” Gemma said, a huge smile on her face.

“What? You guys were all in on this?” Harry was shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as if it was some kind of dream.

“Sorry, love but your missus called me and Gem a few weeks ago and told us about how she wanted to get you back and the idea seemed really fun. You seriously owe her a new proposal.”

Harry seemed to have gotten over it as his hands snaked around Y/n’s waist and pulled her close.

“You’re so mean.” It was mumbled into her neck but everyone heard.

“So are you.” She laughed. “That’s why we fit.”

He pulled his face from her neck and smiled.

“I guess I do owe you a do over.”

He gave her a soft quick peck on the lips.

“Alright enough. You guys can open your real gifts now. Thank you for playing along.”

The rest of the day was spent opening gifts, drinking hot chocolate and talking about what happened this year and what’s to come in the new year and Y/n was sure she’d never been happier.

[hsfan94]

Wrapped in Red

AN: Merry Christmas lovies! hope you like it.

Y/n had figured out how to finally tell Harry how she felt. Since he told her he was going to break up with Olivia, she had been trying to find the perfect way to come clean.

They had been friends for a long time. Y/n met Harry through Gemma back in 2017 and she'd had a crush on him for even longer. She had never intended to tell him she loved him because she always assumed she'd get over it. When he was with Olivia, however, she realised she would never be happy with anyone else, especially since she's so close to his entire family.

One thing was for certain, she could not lose him and that was why it had taken so long to figure it out. She wanted it to be subtle enough that she could brush it off if he didn't get it or if he didn't feel the same, but obvious enough that he could understand and if he felt the same hopefully he would make a move. So, when she found out that she was not only invited to his family's holiday celebrations this year but that one of the activities was karaoke, she knew just what she had to do.

So, here she was sitting next to Harry while Gemma and Michael made an absolute mockery of 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' in front of them. She turned to look at her love and his head was thrown back cackling. He was so beautiful. She leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"H, stop. This is a very serious performance for your sister."

She couldn't keep her faux serious expression in place long as he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Oh really? She tell you that?" He smirked.

"Yes, actually. She told me it was a dream of hers to best you this year in the entertainment department." She said it with a smile and he busted out laughing again.

Just as he was about to respond the song ended.

"Y/n you're next," Gemma spoke into the microphone.

"What?! I thought Anne was next."

"She was but you and my brother wouldn’t shut up so I changed the order." Gemma gave her a knowing look and Y/n felt her anxiety heighten. She had told her her plan and now that was proving to have been a bad idea.

"Okay. Just give me one second, I'll be right back."

She ran out of the living room and into her guest room to change. She slipped on a red silk dress and fastened a Christmas bow to her hair. She looked herself over in the mirror and whispered, "here goes nothing" to herself.

When she walked back into the living room everyone went silent. After a beat, Gemma and Anne started fake catcalling her, which dissipated her anxiety a bit and caused her to laugh.

"Thank you, thank you," she spoke into the mic at them. "I chose my song very carefully this year and I really hope you like it." She made eye contact with Harry as she said the last bit.

"Everybody's happy, snow is falling down." She looked at each guest as she sang. "Prayers are bein' answered, miracles all around."

She started to loosen up and made eye contact with Harry again as she sang, "From afar, I've loved you, but never let it show and every year another December comes and goes."

She was pretty sure he had already caught on as his eyes went wide.

"Always watchin', never reachin', but this Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall."

She really let herself get lost in the words. She threw her head back and let her hips sway.

"So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white, you'll see me like you've never seen me yet. Wrapped in red." She motioned to her dress on the last line, eliciting laughs from the crowd.

"Blue is where I've been. Green can't buy me you. Silver bells remind me that mistletoe's for two." She saw that Harry had relaxed some so she started walking around the room this verse. "So I found a color that only tells the truth. That paints a picture of how I feel for you."

Now she was stood right in front of him, singing to him alone.

"This Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall. So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white you'll see me like you've never seen me yet, wrapped in red."

She opened her eyes not realising she had closed them and saw he had the biggest smile on his face. So, she finished with a burst of confidence.

"I'll never feel you, if I don't tell you." He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"This Christmas, I'm gonna risk it all. This Christmas, I'm not afraid to fall. So I'm at your door with nothing more than words I've never said. In all this white you'll see me like you've never seen me yet. Wrapped in red. Wrapped in red."

The music slowed to a stop and the room burst out into cheers.

"Thank you guys." She sat down as if nothing had happened.

"Was that what I think it was?" Harry said from next to her.

"That depends, what do you think it was?"

The others, who sensed that the conversation they were about to have was a private one, scurried off into the kitchen.

"You love me?" He said.

"Yes. I'm sorry if this is totally the wrong way to go about it, public and cheesy, but I thought I could brush it off easier this way."

"How long have you known?"

"Since you started dating Camille." She bit her lip. "I just always thought it would go away. I didn't want to lose you or Gemma but when you were with Olivia," she could barely say her name, "I realised I'd never be able to. So, when you two broke up, I started planning how to tell you."

"I wish you had done it differently."

"You're right this was a terrible idea." She started to get up to run away, feeling embarrassed.

"No, that's not what I mean." He grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the couch. "I wish you'd said something sooner because then I could've done this." He leaned in and kissed her briefly then pulled back and said, "sooner."

"Oh." It was all she could say.

"I've been in love with you since Gem introduced us practically, but I thought I didn't have a chance."

"Really? You thought you didn't have a chance? Have you seen yourself?"

He laughed at that and nodded.

"I have." He scanned over her body and said, "But have you seen yourself? 'Sides, you never made a move so."

"Agree that we're both stupid and move on?" She giggled.

"Just come here." He pulled her into another kiss. This one much longer and deeper.

"Merry Christmas Harry," she said when they parted.

"And to think all I got you was a t-shirt," he said.

She busted out laughing.

"It's okay. It's already the best Christmas ever."

And it really was.

[hsfan94]

Sweet Nothing

Harry had a rough few weeks. He hardly had a break between his LA shows and the South American leg. Then, after the second show of the leg fans crowded his car. He appreciated the support and the enthusiasm but he’s quite claustrophobic and anytime he gets surrounded by people, it gets a little hard to breathe. On top of the go-go-go and the mild mobbing, people wouldn’t stop asking about his breakup.

He hadn’t been with Olivia for a few months and if it was up to him he wouldn’t have even made an official announcement, but she insisted they put it on record. He wasn’t sad or anything because he had been in love with Y/n for a long time and he decided he didn’t want to be with anyone that wasn’t her, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be asked about it or see stuff online about it. Sometimes it just felt like everyone wanted something from him.

Harry had met Y/n around the time One Direction went on hiatus. She knew who he was but desperately tried to pretend she didn’t. She was an up and coming actress and she told him that if it was her, that she “wouldn’t want to be treated any differently just cause she was in some movies”. Y/n never expected anything of him. She just wanted a friend and that’s what she got. Y/n wasn’t in the same level of fame as Harry by a long shot. He thought the world of her but she was very selective with her parts and had yet to become a household name. She never had to experience the things he did, such as often being treated like a zoo animal, but she always tried to understand and cheer him up.

Presently, Y/n was staying at his home in North London, as she was shooting a movie in the UK. Harry couldn’t wait to see her. He drove up to the house ready to go inside and go right to sleep. But when he walked through the door, he was met with the most mouth watering scent and sweet little hums of his songs from his sweet little best friend.

He walked into the kitchen and there she was, cooking and humming away. He walked right up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Harry! You scared me!” She jumped a bit but remained in his hold.

“What’s all this, Angel? I thought you were just sleeping here?” He settled his chin on her shoulder and nuzzled his cheek against hers.

“I had an inkling that you wouldn’t eat if there wasn’t someone here to feed you.” She stirred the pan one more time then turned in his hold. “‘Sides I had nothing else to do and I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah? What about?” He pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “And thank you. You were right. I was just going to go to bed.”

“I heard about your breakup and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” she said.

His heart melted. She was too sweet.

“I’m okay. Thank you.”

She didn’t drop it though.

“Are you sure? You were with her for a while and I want to make sure you’ve had time to process alone. Without the media’s opinions, y’a know?”

He ran his hands down her arms until he got to hers. He gathered them in his and brought them up to his lips.

“I’m fine. You know why?"

"Why?"

"I broke up with her." He paused. "I’ll be honest I was feeling a little down the last few weeks because I was overwhelmed. But I’m better now that I’m here. Wanna know why?”

She nodded for him to continue.

“Because I came home to you.”

She was lost, he could see it on her face. She carried on the conversation.

"Well, I'm glad I can help." She turned back around and continued her humming.

Harry just rested his chin on her shoulder deciding not to push his feelings on her tonight.

"Harry?" He hummed and she continued. "Why did you break up with her?"

"I decided I didn't want to be with someone I didn't love."

She paused her movements.

"You didn't love her?" Her head turned to look at him and she was so close he could feel her breathe.

"No."

"Then why were you with her for so long?"

It wasn't judgemental. She was purely curious about it.

"I kept thinking I might get over the feelings I have for someone else. That I might fall in love with her if I gave it enough time but here we are."

"So... You love someone else?"

He nodded.

"Hmmm." She turned back to the stove. "Well, are you going to be with them now?"

"Hopefully. I just don't know how they feel."

"Well, anyone would be stupid not to love you." She leaned her weight into him a bit more.

He was astounded that she seemed to have no clue he meant her.

"Angel?" He said after a moment.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Are you stupid?"

"Oi! What the hell does that mean?" She whipped around, a look of offence on her face.

He chuckled.

"You just said anyone would be stupid not to love me. So, are you stupid?"

She smiled at him.

"No. I'm the most clever of them all." She turned back around.

God she was clueless, he thought.

"So, you love me?"

"H, I tell you I love you all the time, how could you not know?"

He groaned, she didn't get it.

"Never mind."

He detached himself from her and went upstairs to change. How did she not understand he was talking about her?

He stumbled into his room and there on his pillow was a welcome home card. He picked it up to see it was hand made. She was too sweet. He opened his dresser to pull out something to sleep in and he found a T-shirt she had got him for Christmas in 2019.

"Open mine now!" Y/n shoved a bag into his lap.

They were gathered in a circle on his living room floor. Their small group of friends (Jeff, Glenne, Mitch, Sarah, Tom and Jenny), had decided to do a small Christmas party with each other to celebrate his album coming out.

"Okay, okay." He laughed at her excitement.

He slowly took the tissue paper out and pulled out the T-shirt she had stuffed inside. When he opened it up fully, he laughed so hard he nearly peed.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. Now you open mine." He handed her a small box wrapped in Frozen paper, just because she loves that movie.

Watching her unwrap it carefully so it didn't tear was torture. When she had the paper off and opened the box she was rendered speechless.

"Harry, it's beautiful."

It was a ring that had both of their birthstones and initials on it. She got up from her spot and straddled his lap hugging him tightly.

"I love it. Thank you."

That had been his favourite Christmas to date.

He slipped the shirt on, wearing only it and his underwear and headed back downstairs.

In the kitchen, she was finishing up putting their food on plates. She stopped her movements when she saw him come in wearing the shirt.

"Why are you wearing that?" She laughed.

"Because," he pointed to the words on it, "Y/n is my best friend in the whole world and I love her more than anything."

"I know that's not true, but thanks for humouring me." She was laughing as she walked to the table with their plates.

"It absolutely is true. That's why I put it on." His face was serious now. He was done letting her deflect her importance to him.

"More than anything? Really? More than tequila? Wine? Vintage cars? Touring?"

He felt she had more she wanted to put out there but he stopped her by coming over and draping his arms over her shoulders.

"Yes. More than all those things."

"Why?"

"Because. You're the one person who doesn't want anything from me. You make me feel so normal. And I love all that other stuff but it doesn't give me that feeling."

"I still don't know if I believe you but I'll take it." She giggled but he wasn't pleased.

"I mean it. Coming home after a stressful month where everyone wants something from me, wants me to be doing more, and you're just here cooking me dinner, because you want to take care of me. How could I not just be head over heals in love with you." He hadn't wanted to confess tonight but she was so frustrating.

"What...did...did you just say?" He mouth was parted in shock.

"I'm so in love with you. I'm sorry to just dump it on you but...god I just..."

She cut off his mumbling by pouncing on him. She wrapped her whole body around him, her legs around his waist and arms around his neck, and peppered kisses all over his face.

"I love you too."

"Really?" He looked at her, not believing it just yet.

"Really. I can't believe you didn't know. I thought it was so obvious. Especially when I asked to stay with you. You remember I have a place in London right?"

"No. I thought you sold it and that was why you were always staying here."

"Nope. Just want to be around you as much as possible."

She kissed his mouth this time.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Coming home to you in the kitchen humming and getting sweet kisses? Hell yes." He was smiling so big but he couldn't help it.

"Good. Me too." She looked down at his shirt. "Think I need to get a new one made for this Christmas. I have a new title now."

"Sounds like a great idea to me." He kissed her once more and then said, "Come on, let's eat."