ALL THE THINGS I’D SAY TO MY FUCK ASS EX WHO WON’T LET ME LIVE IN PEACE
Idk what you expect every time you text or call me. They all go unanswered and it’s not because I somehow have missed them all. I go out of my way to make sure your friends know you’re not invited to places I’ll be, I don’t speak to you, I have you blocked everywhere. Not only do I have you blocked, I’ve asked my friends to block you every time you’ve tried to follow them (and your attempts to keep track of me by following my friends- PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW don’t go unnoticed you weirdo) and you don’t get the message somehow!!
You FUCKED me up for two and a half years emotionally because you knew I’d always stick around for you. Of the 3 times I can list where I got the courage to tell you off you still managed to make it seem like I owed you more time and attention and love and I gave into it every single time. Remember that time I packed up all the things I had at your house and you got on your knees and begged me with tears in your eyes to stay? And how two days later you told me you needed a break from me? And EVERY time I told you you were overstepping and being too mean to me you would turn it around and make yourself the victim!
When I was tired of waiting on you to mend us I had to wait for 6 months until YOU brought up breaking up. You always did bring it up eventually. We were on and off so many times and I always fought for us because I wanted you to see I was serious!! I was there!!! but instead of taking it as a sign that someone genuinely cared for you you dangled my loyalty in my face and threatened to break up with me if I was too much of an inconvenience. I can’t even say how many times I was too embarrassed to tell people we were “off again” because I knew I was just waiting on your call.
There were moments when your depression wasn’t sucking all the life out of you and you didn’t need me to depends on and in those moments you wouldn’t call me your girlfriend- we were just two people “enjoying each other’s company”. Can you imagine how that felt?
At the end of our relationship I was developing REALLY bad anxiety and seeking therapy and you LAUGHED and said “man you’re messed up they’re really gonna drug you up” and called me crazy. I was the one person you depended on emotionally for two years (something that shouldn’t be asked of of a 18-20 year old, you ass) and when I needed the same support you decided it was too much that I was too much. That’s the worse thing you ever did to me.
Did you know when we broke up I lost my appetite for a year? I lost 10 pounds. I was lucky if I could eat half a meal before needed to throw it all up. My mom and friends were concerned and I was embarrassed to eat in public because I knew I’d end up throwing a whole meal away and people notice that sort of thing you know.
6 months after we broke up I was telling a friend everything I’d been through with you and it wasn’t until that moment that it was brought to my attention that getting yelled at in a relationship wasn’t normal. I literally didn’t know that. That was my normalcy.
You constantly berated me and threw all my faults in my face.
I remember once you sat me down and went through a list of all the people I spoke to daily and explained why none of them were my friends the way I thought they were. Why did you do that? What’s wrong with you?
You used to talk about your sisters and your mother with so much disgust in your voice and that alone should have been enough to tell me to run the other way.
Now let me get to my final point
How. Dare. You. Text me alluding to suicidal thoughts. How dare you. How dare you apologize in the same message. That’s not an apology you coward. Say it to my face- HELL say it PUBLICLY because I’m owed more than a 3 sentence text. How dare you make me responsible for your well being after all this time? I will not respond because you don’t deserve me or my care or my attention AND I AM NOT NOW NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU, YOUR EMOTIONAL AND OR MENTAL WELL BEING, AND YOU’RE SHITTY FOR FORCING ME TO CARE. You FORCED me to care last night. I know you’re not bluffing- you’ve tried before and I was there for it. I know damn well had I not acted on your message last night I would never forgive myself had something happened to you and it would be my responsibility. You knew that. And don’t you dare have me be your last message either that’s so twisted!!! It’s not poetic or romantic and I want ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. TO DO WITH IT.
I sent a friend for you and I hope you get help but for God’s sake if you mean it when you say you’re sorry for all the shit you did you’ll let me live my life far far away from you.
stormborns
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
annaxmalina
dededos
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
