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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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hello vonnie
DEAR READER
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@hu-mai
I felt very embarrassed to be sad for so long.
:(
As a 24 year old experiencing heart break for the first time, I had no clue how it actually really hurts.
stay well sweetheart
To one of my friends,
Chances are you’ll never see this but that’s okay. It’s been a year since we last saw each other. I miss you so much lately, even when we contacted each other constantly, I still miss you. I really wish you would come back, but I know it is impossible. I know that you don’t want to look back anymore, but I pretend not to know and I'm lingering around you. I know that you did what you did just because you feel bad.
There are so many times when I ask you something about me and you just brush it off as if it is nothing, yet I pretend not to know the meaning behind your action, the meaning behind the answerless answer.
A lot has been going on in my mind lately to the point someone said that I’m too sensitive these days. I feel I need to end everything. My friend told me that in order to move on I need to cut everything off, but I always thought that the pain will be too hard to bear if I stopped talking to you. But I will try starting from now. I know that you feel uncomfortable when I text you as if we are still in some kind of relationship but you don’t want to hurt me.
So, I will try my best to cut things off, bit by bit because talking to you will just make it harder for me to move on. Because the more I want you back, the more anxious I became, and I want to stop feeling anxious. All the bad thoughts keep crawling back. The pain of hearing that you tried to get close to someone else weeks after the break up still breaks me, but it wasn’t your fault. It is just me, I overthink and overanalyze everything.
I truly am happy for you, and I don’t hate you. I’m hoping that you found a way and a new person to move forward and to grow with.
I hope I also can move forward and grow.
Lastly, I hope that you continue to have a great life, make the most of what your life offers you, and I wish you well..... until i see u again.
Sincerely,
Someone who used to put a spell on you through her wand. :)
Random post on sunday the 17th
Hi, it is January 17, 2021 and I’m turning one year older!
Yaaay! congratulations on making it this far, dear myself!
My journey in life so far has been amazing even though my life may not have turned out exactly as I planned. And I feel so loved and overwhelmed by the happiness today thanks to the kind people around me.
Seeing this picture at 2 am in the morning, while its raining heavily outside. Hopefully by this time next year, I will be somewhere else in the world where it snows.
Some people think they are not good enough to be loved, so they only expect the worst from their lovers. They go though life thinking they are shit so they accept shitty love, they got hurt constantly but still stay.
But the truth is everyone deserves a truly spectacular love but not everyone can see nor realize that. Thus, good people stay in bad relationships because they dont believe they are good enough, even if they are. They don’t believe that they can do better, even though they are 100% can.
Stunning.
he’s so fine.
These past few months
The coronavirus has changed the way we live, and it has changed my daily life to some extent as I am stuck in my house, like many others, during this time. There is no such thing as lockdown here, but as someone whose mother works in a hospital, I feel like I should stay at home instead of unnecessarily going out. I don't want to harm myself, my family, and others. Therefore, it is better this way because I feel safer. However, since the government announced the "new normal" scheme, many people, including some of my friends, are going back and forth to cafes, restaurants, or public spaces, although the situation here is terrible. Currently, my hometown is going through a wave of infection; it is severe with more than 200 active cases as my home hometown is a small town with only less than 200.000 population.
The cases are increasing day by day instead of decreasing. Even people who practice social distancing can be exposed to this virus when doing essential activities like getting groceries or working, let alone those who spend their time sitting for hours in a coffee shop, taking off their masks, and chatting with their friends. I hope these people will realize soon that by doing so, it will only prolong this pandemic.
However, I'm thankful that there are still people who are doing everything to help stop the spread, no matter how boring it may be. I appreciate them. As for me, my routine is repetitive, and sometimes it is dull. I want to see my friends, we had plans to go on a trip, but it got canceled. I have been staying at home for at least six months, and I am fully willing to do so in hopes that we can return to normal soon.
Many people out there are not in the same position I am now, they can't be with their family because of this pandemic, and it must be really hard for them to spent tough times alone, so I am grateful for the blessings that I got. I plan to pursue further studies or work far from home, so I am glad I can spend time with my family before I pursue those dreams. I always ask myself if things will ever go back to what I consider "normal" again. I hope that it will, and I hope that I will get the opportunity to do the things I want to do. I understand very well that we may have to do this for a long time, maybe until the end of this year or maybe until half of next year.
Today’s pics (Kyoto part 2!)
I definitely will never get sick of the sights in this city, there’s so much to see. The city that will always have a special place in my heart, and I can see myself coming back here in the future (really, absolutely, genuinely, and hopefully). I will retake these photos that I took when I was in Kyoto 3 months ago. It is such a pity that I have only been here for a few hours, that was not enough buuut it’s ok, there will always a next time for everything.
Anyway, in my next visit, I hope I can go to Kinkaku-ji (been wanting to go to this place since a long long time ago), Leica Kyoto Store (I love Leica though I can’t afford their products at the moment, hopefully, I will be able to afford it soon....) and the last one is Gion district!!!! (I think Gion is a must-visit place when you go to Kyoto, sad that I haven’t had the opportunity).
Gorgeous summer days in Perth, Late 2018 - Early 2019. 🇦🇺🌞🌻
It was a beautiful day, mid January in Kyoto. I smiled a lot that day. It is one of my favourite days of the year. ☺️🙆🏻♀️
Whatever comes, let it come. Whatever stays, let it stay. Whatever goes, let it go | babuschkina
Location: Saint Moritz, Switzerland
“The first time I saw him, I flipped.” so, I’m going to talk about my movie of the day, Flipped. It’s one of my favorite movies and I liked everything about it, absolutely everything. I fell in love with it, its simplicity and innocence. All throughout the movie I was entertained, especially by the main characters’ love/hate relationship which was totally adorable. this movie will always have a special place in my heart. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched the movie. I can’t remember, but it’s absolutely good and I still flipped all over it. It isn’t your typical romantic comedy, isn’t the type of puppy love movie that would often make your sugar levels rise. Every scene, even the mushy ones were presented with reality and simplicity, that’s why i really like this movie. Definitely one of the best pure & innocent romance movie and I’m dead serious. -heres my favorite part from the movie.- “Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss….“ He turned to me. “But every once in a while, you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.” If you are a fan of light-hearted romance movies. I totally recommend you to watch it.