Little Bit

Of every fandom I love 😍

[hufflehobbit710]

Merry: Why are Frodo and Sam sitting with their backs to each other?

Pippin: They had a fight.

Merry: Then why are they holding hands?

Pippin: They get sad when they fight.

[hufflehobbit710]

Frodo: I just ended a four year relationship.

Sam: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Frodo: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Merry and Pippin fighting from across the room*

[hufflehobbit710]

Aragorn: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Legolas: *turning to Gimli* How tall are you?

[hufflehobbit710]

Aragorn, to Legolas: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Legolas, motioning to themself and Gimli: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

[hufflehobbit710]

Aragorn: Hey Legolas,

Legolas: Yes?

Aragorn: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Legolas:

Legolas: Where’s Gimli?

[hufflehobbit710]

Aragorn: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Legolas does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Gimli: If Legolas were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Legolas jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Aragorn: You jump off a cliff!

Gimli: Gladly. Provided Legolas did first.

[hufflehobbit710]

Fili: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Kili: Have everyone stand.

Thorin: Bring three more chairs!

Bilbo: The most important ones can sit down.

Gandalf: Kill three.

[hufflehobbit710]

Fili: *Screams*

Kili: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Thorin: Should we do something?!

Bilbo, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

[hufflehobbit710]

Thorin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Bilbo: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Thorin: Absolutely not.

[hufflehobbit710]

Thorin: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Bilbo: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Thorin: Death is a social construct.

[hufflehobbit710]

Bilbo : If you had to choose between Kili and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Fili: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Kili: Fili!

Bilbo : 63 cents.

Fili: I'll take the money.

Kili: FILI!!!

[hufflehobbit710]

Thorin: Wake me up…

Balin: Before you go go!

Gandalf: When September ends…

Dwalin: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

[hufflehobbit710]

Frodo: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Sam: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Pippin: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Merry: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Frodo: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands

[hufflehobbit710]

*Frodo's helping Sam out after they get injured, while the others are watching*

Pippin: How does Sam look?

Merry: A little better than you, actually.

[hufflehobbit710]

Bilbo : If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Thorin: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Kili: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Thorin, learn to listen.

Fili: What if it bites itself and I die?

Bofur: That’s voodoo.

Dwalin: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Thorin: That’s correlation, not causation.

Fili: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Bofur: That’s kinky.

Bilbo : Oh my God.

[hufflehobbit710]

Bilbo : Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Thorin: >:O language

Kili: Yeah watch your fucking language

Fili: OKAY WHO TAUGHT KILI THE FUCK WORD?

Bofur: 'The fuck word'.

Dwalin: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Kili: Oh my god they censored it

Bofur: Say fuck, Dwalin.

Kili: Do it, Dwalin. Say fuck

[hufflehobbit710]

Bilbo : Violence isn't the answer.

Thorin: You’re right.

Bilbo : *sighs in relief*

Thorin: Violence is the question.

Bilbo : What?

Thorin, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Bilbo , running after them: NO-