I have been working in hospitalities for over 13 years. I have worked in the front of house as a busser, server, bartender and manager, I have worked as a bouncer and I have worked as a dishwasher and a cook. Suffice it to say, I know this industry better than most and therefore have a good understanding of how it works, what’s so great about it and of course what needs to change.
I’ll start by saying, there is so much to love about the hospitality and specifically the restaurant industry. I have made lifelong friends, learned invaluable skills and have enough stories to last a lifetime. I have laughed, cried and raged with every fibre of my being but when all is said and done, I love it. Hospitalities give me purpose because to me, it is such a pure human experience to feed/be fed by someone. However despite all of the amazing things about working in restaurants, there are and have always been glaring flaws.
Though there are numerous things wrong with the industry, I’m going to speak to something that I can personally relate to. I’ve always found that I struggle to find a balance between my personal life and my work life and as a result don’t take care of myself.
When I was serving, I would often be working until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning, eat a reckless amount of McDonalds and then wake up a few hours later to work at my day job. When I was bartending I’d be working almost as late, covering twice as much floor and more than likely, I’d be throwing back shots with customers. By no means would I ever be drunk at work, it’s just a common thing for bartenders. In either case I was working late, drinking a lot and barely sleeping.
Clearly that is not a balanced lifestyle. There are (many) reasons that alcoholism and substance abuse are rampant in restaurants; quick escapes and quick recovery times. However, inevitably, the lifestyle catches up with you which is why anxiety, addiction and depression are also prevalent in the industry. Compound the unbalanced lifestyle with (generally) low pay and it’s no wonder.
Like I said, these are very common problems that bartenders, servers and hospitality workers in general struggle with. How do we find a way to do what we love and what we’re good at while maintaining a healthy lifestyle? The answer is not so simple. The reason for that is because there is no one answer. As I have learned, everyone has to find their own tricks and life-hacks to strike the balance. Me personally, I need to set time aside to exercise or I’ll fill that time with slothing about my house. Anti-depressants are super helpful too but what is key for me achieving a good balance is exercise.
All that is not to say that there aren’t already support groups in Toronto that specialize in hospitalities workers’ rights in addition to providing access to mental health resources. The Full Plate and Not 9-5 are two in particular that became lifelines for a lot of people throughout the pandemic.
Oddly, the pandemic really shone a light on the inequities and flaws in our industry which, in my experience, is the first step in solving a problem. We talk about these things now, whereas when I was a bright eyed, busy tailed 18 year old working at the Church Restaurant in Stratford, it was a toxic, repressive atmosphere. The industry has begun to change because those who have invested so much in it are steering it that way.
As this is such a personal issue for me, it will undoubtedly be a focus of my pub when I inevitably open it. Whatever it’s going to be called, every other Sunday, I will host a pop up called SoBar. SoBar will offer a tasting menu paired with non-alcoholic cocktails, will include talks from industry professionals as well as mental health/addiction workers and be a safe place for those living a sober lifestyle.
Thanks for reading! I look forward to hosting you at SoBar one day


















