Father Monster

I write stuff

[human-s-touch]

Nothing to do: Bloody Mary fanfic Part 3/3

Part 1

Part 2

“I don’t like this, I don’t like this at all,” Simon says, holding the couch’s cushion against his chest. 

“You know we can stop the movie,” I tell him. 

“No, I wanna know what happens.”

I was extremely reluctant to let Simon watch Jaws given his history with sea creatures, but he insisted after I taught the class about sharks and mentioned the film as an example of stereotypes about sharks. So now we are sitting on the couch with a half-eaten apple pie and the movie playing on the screen of a TV that was brought with us. It's not the first time we're watching a movie together, but it is our first scary movie together. So far so good, Simon is shifting between fear and anger at the mayor for not closing the beach. Now we are coming close to the boat scene and I’m waiting for the jumpscare. 

“You know, this wouldn’t have happened if they had closed the beach, that was a stupid decision,” he mumbles, “and his jacket looks just as fucking stupid.” I don’t say anything and just look at his reaction. Suddenly, the head appears, violins screech and Simon gives up the cushion and just grabs me, “that was fucking unnecessary!” he shouts, “and you said that this Schpielberg makes movies for kids?” 

“Well, yeah he tones it down for the kids, kind of. I mean, you liked Indiana Jones, didn’t you?”

“He made the villains melt!” 

“Yeah, fair enough.” 

I let a moment pass, the film becomes fun again and now we’re watching a bunch of idiots throw explosives in the water to scare the shark. A few moments later when the shark thrashes back on screen, Simon cuddles against me and tightens his arms around my shoulders. It’s been three months since the misunderstanding in my class. We haven’t talked about it since, we just let things follow their course. I’ve gotten closer to Simon, and by that I mean that I can now touch him without him jumping or being tense, or instinctivally go into fight mode. One random day, I was reading on the couch, Simon just walked into the room, sat next to me and asked what I was reading. Then he started to read with me, and he rested his head on my shoulder. I attempted to wrap my arm around him and he let me. Now, hugs like these have become part of our routine, and we’ve learnt to recognize when the other wants to be touched or not. We even fell asleep together on the couch once on a lazy day, which Rocky didn't appreciate. Not because he was jealous but because none of us was watching each other sleep and we were "irresponsible". The next time I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up to Simon next to me, and I had a blanket on my back.

“I didn’t think you’d be so scared!” I chuckle, “you’re gonna break my spine by the end of the film!”

“Oh, sorry,” he slightly relaxes his grip. 

“Well, I thought you’d either be really scared or you’d think it sucks because of everything you’ve been through.”

“I see,” he says, a bit more coldly. 

“I– sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“It doesn’t bring back bad memories. I’ll take the shark over the eel any day,” he says, “but you’re right. You’d think this would have made me braver, huh.”

“No! Not at all! It’s not what I meant–” it really wasn’t. I could not even imagine what I would have done if I had been in Simon’s shoes. 

“I wish it had,” he murmured, resting his head on my shoulder. I quietly hold him, trying to weigh how much I messed up. But he stays against me, quieter than before, but the way he’s holding me seems like he’s looking for comfort, which I am not really good at giving. 

“You know, Simon, I–” I paused. He doesn’t move but somehow, I can tell he’s listening, “I don’t really believe in this ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ thing. Sometimes what doesn’t kill you just sucks. Sometimes what doesn’t kill you makes you see some parts of you that you didn’t know were there and they aren’t pretty and you kind of wish you weren’t– anyway. What I mean to say is that you don’t have to be brave just because you’ve been through some things. I don’t think I was brave. I think I didn’t have a choice. Neither did you,” I rest my head against his and run my fingers through his hair, “you can just be alive. That’s enough,” a few long moments of silence follow and I force myself to stay quiet. The shark grabs onto the oxygen tank and swims back into the ocean. I glance back at Simon and notice he is looking at me. I smile awkwardly and look back at him, although I quickly glance away. 

“I think I want to kiss you,” he says. I think my body forgets how to keep me alive and I just open and close my mouth like a fish out of water while all the blood my heart is forgetting to pump goes into my cheeks. Simon watches my reaction. I wonder if he still wants to kiss me now that I look like an idiot. My body starts working again, although only a few parts. My hand moves to Simon’s face as he straightens up and brushes his hair out of the way before resting on the back of his neck. He moves closer and I let him. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. I hope I don’t look like every inch of my body is breaking down, but I doubt it. Simon brushes his forehead against mine and his eyes close. I feel a shiver down my spine and it becomes impossible to breathe through my nose, so I just breathe in and out, my mouth stupidly agape. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. Why isn’t he kissing me? He just presses the non teethed side of his face to mine and keeps his body close to mine. Does he want me to kiss him? Is he playing with me? He repeats softly that he wants to kiss me and presses his lips to my cheek. God why is it so hard to form words? I follow Simon in his moves and stroke our noses together. Kiss me. He wraps his arm around me and I feel his palm pressing against my back. Kiss me. My body becomes warm again and as it recalls how to live, I’m starting to think living is not enough and I need to become something more. Kiss me. I think Simon can help me do that. Kiss me. I want to feel him. Kiss me. I didn’t think I missed a human’s touch so much.

“Kiss me,” I breathe out, my voice cracking as I speak. I barely have time to end my sentence before Simon’s lips crash on mine and he sighs in relief as I finally allow him as close to me as possible. I slowly lay down on the couch, Simon crawls on top of me and I help him settle on my body. Suddenly, a shot echoes and we both look at the TV where the shark just exploded. I look back at Simon, well at least at his lips because I can’t handle his eyes right now. “You– I–” I stutter. I can’t take being so flustered anymore. I take a deep breath and slap myself internally. “Do you want to go to bed?” God I need to shut up. “Okay, wrong start. I mean, do you want to go to bed not to… you know. I just– I don’t want to stop this right now, and the couch is a bit small, and it might be more comfortable for you too. Right now I just want to be with you, and kiss you, and feel you close to me.” Now he is getting flustered. 

“I– y-yeah. Yeah sure,” he nods urgently, “it felt good, right? Like, I like you so much good and not– I mean, it makes sense? If that makes sense. I know why I want to kiss you and that makes it so much better.” I’m not sure I can put into words why I want to kiss him, but it does make sense. I don’t think I need words. 

“It did– does, it does! It’s like a chemical reaction. I don’t know exactly why but you make me react in a way I like a lot, and I love that. I love this– I love–” he cuts me and kisses me again. I don’t care, I kiss him back and try to tangle my legs with his, but it almost makes us fall from the couch.“You’re right, we should go,” Simon chuckles before clumsily getting up and holding out his hand. I take his hand and follow him. We lay down, I kiss him, he smiles, he kisses my cheek, his beard tickles me and it makes me laugh. He whispers things I don’t quite get but I think I understand them. I whisper some back. Finally we settle down. I hold him close as we start to drift away. There is fog outside. We’re alive.

[human-s-touch]

Nothing to do; Bloody Mary Fanfic part 2/3.

[Part 1 here]

I kinda miss the person I was two months ago. Before Simon woke up from the three-months coma Armando put him in and before he started to speak and trust me enough to tell me about where he came from.

I was impressed that Simon even survived what he went through. Armando’s diagnosis looked like a tesco receipt: Concussion, severed arm, multiple infected wounds, five broken ribs, an insane amount of bruises, multiple twisted joints, radiation poisoning, some kind of food poisoning, there was a hole in his stomach and he required an amount of stitches I would rather forget about. While he slept I ran some tests on his blood and as it turns out, he was human. At some point. His DNA sequence is incomprehensible. Maybe the radiation is to blame, but it seems like whatever made him appear in the middle of my beach interrupted some kind of DNA rewiring. Something was remaking him. The results obtained from the water samples weren’t much more informative. What we found was a – still – growing number of human DNAs blended together in the universe’s most sordid smoothie. 

When Simon woke up he immediately panicked and fell off the table. Been there. It took a while to get him to settle down and a while longer to tell him where he was and make him believe me. That’s when he told me that all the stars and planets were gone. That cataclysm, that “Quiet Rapture” had taken everything in the blink of an eye. We quickly figured out he came from the future, but we still have no idea how he got here. The last two months have been… difficult. I never had any human roommates, and although Simon doesn't mind my usual messiness, he has strange habits that are hard to shake off. Every single night for two months, he gets up and walks to the pantry and just… looks inside. Same for the plant lab. He burst into tears the first time he saw it, and I realised he had never seen anything aside from that one tree he mentioned in between sobs. After that discovery, he added the plant lab to his nightly check-ups. When he doesn’t wake up to check the pantry, he has night terrors and I have to wake him up in a state of intense panic, which so far has warranted me one punch I failed to dodge. He is always very apologetic after that. Well, all the time, really. He apologises for eating too much, for his nightmares, for taking up space, for needing clothes, for using the bathroom – which was a whole other ordeal because he cannot grasp the concept of a relaxing bath. When I explained it to him, he just stared at me like I was actively setting fire to the house. We got used to each other, though. I'd even say we've become friends! He still doesn't talk much and mostly listens to me, but he's taken a liking to listening to the old CDs I play when I cook, and learning how to take care of plants. He likes walking on the beach with Rocky and I. I taught him how to make apple pie and he loved it and has made several pies since. He has less nightmares, he gets up less often to check the pantry… He's doing a little better. 

The hardest part was coming to terms with the fact that there is probably nothing to do about The Quiet Rapture. Simon believes everyone went to AT-5 and for my own sanity, I am choosing to believe he is wrong because I can’t believe that something conscious somehow managed to put an end to everything. I took a long break from my classes, to take care of Simon, to research The Quiet Rapture and eventually recover from the fact that it’s hopeless. After Rocky mentioned that my students missed me a lot, I managed to get it back together enough to plan for my next lesson. Now I’m having my usual morning coffee before my class while Simon sleeps i-

“Grace?” I turn around and see him standing at his bedroom door.

“Hey Simon! Sorry, did I wake you up with the coffee machine?”

“No, no, I just got up,” he shakes his head and sits in front of me, “can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure. But I don't have much time before class.” 

“Of course, yeah. It's just… Can I come? I'll just sit down and listen with the kids.”

“You want to attend one of my classes?”

“Well, I've never been to Earth, and I really liked that documentary about bees you showed me. I'm curious.” 

“Yeah! Sure, come along, it'll be fun! I'm mostly used to teaching kids so hopefully you won't feel too infantilized.” 

“I won't. I like how you explain things. It's fun,” he smiles at me with the sweetest expression. I find Simon to be very genuine, very direct, which I do appreciate. No secret code to crack. He just speaks his mind and I know he means every word he says. He does find me funny, “and I like the way you speak to me. You don't treat me like I'm stupid because I don't know what a fox or an almond is. You just pull out a book, show me pictures and explain. You're kind.” I never know how to take compliments, so I just… smile and scoff. 

“To be fair, you're a very good listener. I'm sure you'll get along with the kids, they're very curious just like you. You'll have to introduce yourself, though. And they might ask you very blunt questions. You've met Rocky, now imagine that with even less social awareness.” 

“I can imagine,” he smiles, “I'll try and answer them.”

“Also… don't take this the wrong way, but please try and not swear in front of the kids. Like the f-word? Not ideal for young minds.”

“Oh, of course. I'll try.” 

…

“Alright, kids! This is my new friend Simon. He’s going to join us for today’s class. I know you’ve all heard of him, and you’re all very excited to meet him, but he’s still getting used to all of this, so you have two minutes to ask him questions in three, two, one… Go! Yes, Ripley!” I exclaim, pointing to my usually introverted student. 

“Is Simon human, question?” I turn to Simon.

“Yes. I am.”

“Why Simon’s teeth outside face, question?” asks another voice. 

“Erm… I don’t know, I woke up like this.” he explains. 

“Where is Simon’s arm, question?”

“I had to cut it off because I was stuck.” I’m watching Simon’s face carefully. These questions are all innocent and I think he knows that, but that’s no reason to let him get uncomfortable.

“Simon’s eye pretty. Like nebula!” 

“Oh. Thanks.” he says, visibly surprised. 

“Does Simon science too?”

“Eh, not at all. That’s why I’m here.” 

“Simon learn with us! Amaze, amaze!” exclaim a few students. 

“Simon Grace’s mate, question?” I can’t identify who said it. I’m about to interrupt when Simon answers.

“Yeah, he is.” he nods confidently. 

What?

“What? What, what– What do you mean?” I ask, looking over at him while the kids all start talking at the same time. 

“Well we’re friends, aren’t we?” He looks at me like I’m stupid.

“That’s not what they mean!” I exclaim, slightly anxious at the idea that tomorrow the whole planet will be looking forward to studying human’s courting behaviours, “they’re– Jeeze, they’re asking if you’re my boyfriend. Well, they think you’re my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Oh–! Fuck! I mean– shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–” the computer is buzzing with students happily rejoicing at the idea of me finally finding my other half. It takes me about five minutes to calm them all down, close the Q&A, explain that Simon is not my mate and finally get started on the lesson. Things go very well. After much consideration I decided to keep Jaws for another day. They all ask questions about whales, dolphins and orcas. Simon too. I keep an eye on him given his history with depth, but to my surprise, he looks as fascinated as the rest of my students. As if it just occurred to him that the ocean could be beautiful. 

… 

“Sorry again about the misunderstanding.” Simon says, while he helps me cook dinner. “I’m not sure they bought your explanations.” 

“Haha, no worries,” I brush off, “they’ll give it up eventually.” I don’t know why but this misunderstanding made me think. I know I am not in love with Simon, but I would lie if I said his presence hadn’t brought something to my life. He’s easy even if he doesn’t think he is. I’ve met more stable people much harder to exist around, and I don’t care if he screams every night as long as I can make him smile in the morning. “I mean of course they’re going to picture us as mates, we’re the only humans they’ve ever seen, and they want us to be happy, but that’s not– well, not that I wouldn’t be happy being your mate, but we’ve known each other for just a few months, and – well some people start dating after a few weeks – but we don’t, I mean we’re not— that’s not what we’re looking for? At least I don’t think it is? I haven’t thought about my sexuality in a very long time, and you, I don’t even know if you’re gay or straight, or ace, not that I want to kno–”

“What does that mean?” he asks. Thank God, I needed to stop talking. 

“The words you just said. Gay, straight…” 

“Oh. Gay means you’re attracted to the same gend– you don’t have these words?” 

“Not really. Some movements encourage relationships that don’t lead to pregnancies, but that’s pretty much it.” 

“I guess you had other things to care about than labels.”

“I’ve never thought about it. I’ve never been with anyone. They kept an eye on relationships to use them against you, so I avoided them.” I keep quiet. “I don’t…” he pauses, staring at the vegetables he was chopping. “I like you, Grace. But I don’t know why.” Ouch. “I mean… Do I like you because I do or because you’re the only human I’m ever going to see again?”

“That’s fair.” I haven’t considered that. Why do I like Simon? I need a good reason to like him, not ‘he’s there and cute’. “Sorry if I’m making things weird. I don’t care– I’d be very happy if we just kept living like this.” I say. Simon nods and smiles back at me.

“So would I.”    

Part 3

[human-s-touch]

Nothing to do: Bloody Mary FanFic Part 1/3.

[This is a personnal writing challenge, rules in the notes if anyone is interested, check tags for info.]

I sit at my window with a cup of coffee. Well, “coffee”. Turns out none of the plants they put on board of the Hail Mary were coffea plants, and I finished the meager stocks of coffee about a month ago despite using the same filter three or four times. As it turns out, living without coffee is much harder than I expected. So much so that Rocky had actually been the one to offer to try and make me something close to coffee. There were many trials and errors as Eridians’ tastebuds are very different from humans, but after a month of research, a very proud team or Eridian chemist brought me a brown powder which turned out to be a mix of a spice that had similar effects to caffeine, and the seeds of multiple local plants which put together made a rather good "coffee". Upon watching me take my first cup, Rocky had observed eagerly, and when I gave him positive feedback, he had answered with “Rocky happy that Grace happy. Grace finally stop being cranky, question?” I stopped being cranky. 

I look at the cloudy sky of my dome. Today is one of the days where I do not see the younglings and prepare the next class instead. Lately they’ve been asking a lot of questions about Earth’s oceans, so I have been planning for a lesson around sea mammals. Not my preferred topic, although I used to enjoy chaperoning the field trips to the local aquarium, so I have been reading on the topic for the past week. I can already hear them teasing me. “Dolphin mammals, question?” “Grace also mammal, question?” “Why Grace not live underwater, question?” “Humans bad at survival.”. After that, I’ll make a lesson about fish, so they really see how poorly designed we are. I would lie if I said I didn’t consider making them watch Jaws as an introduction. The fact that this movie did not deter me from ever stepping foot on a beach ever again was solely due to the amount of blatant misinformation about sharks I could not help but notice. 

I close the book in front of me, wrap myself in my sweater and head for the beach. I think the lesson would be funnier if it was interactive, and I’ve been meaning to find a way to incorporate the beach in my lesson plans for a while, and this was the perfect topic. As I walk on the shore, I brainstorm a few ideas. 

“It’s hard to grasp how insanely big the ocean is… Could I make a real size blue whale puppet fit in here? I could have Rocky drop it from the sky and they’d be like ‘wow! blue whale really big! amaze, amaze amaze!’ That could be fun. Really fun. They wouldn’t get it if I said ‘we’re gonna need a bigger boat.’ Maybe I should make them watch Jaws.” 

I look at the sea behind me. It didn’t look at all like the tourist-y sands of Amity Island. No sharks in there! Nothing at all. No risk of something threshing around in the sea, no water turning red from the blood of a poor German tourist coming to admire the glory of American beaches. Although now that I am looking at it. The water does seem to be a bit darker than usual. Really dark actually. Even considering the clouds, this is not a normal colour for a sea to have. And not only is it dark, it looks reddish. And as I step closer to the water, it becomes less and less ish and more and more red. Is one of the machines leaking? Did some minerals from outside filter in the water by accident? Then the smell hits me. An unbearable smell of iron. Whatever this is, I do not like it. I step away from the water and hurry to my house. As I do, I start hearing an alarm blaring through the dome as the sky starts glitching. Nope. No no no no no. Back inside I go. I close and lock the door behind me before urgently pressing the intercom Rocky had installed into the house. 

“Hey! Hey Rock! Everything okay?” I call into the machine. "Any surprise red goo you forgot to tell me about?” 

“Hi Grace friend. Rocky not know. Foreign body detected in Grace’s dome.”

“Foreign body? Foreign body? Foreign as in not from Earth or foreign as in you don’t know what it is?” 

“Foreign means don’t know what it is. It is new mystery for Grace and Rocky to explore! Happy, happy, happy!” 

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Can you see what it is?” 

“Eridian scientists collect samples, then Rocky and Grace investigate!”

I glance at the window. The machines have stopped. The water is sitting still, redder than any body of water I have ever seen.  

“Is there any way you can get me out of here while you figure this out?” I ask. 

“Rocky come get Grace. Grace stay inside.” 

“You got it.” I nod, staying close to the device. After a few long minutes, the alarm finally switches off and I dare to look at the beach again. The machines are still down and I can smell the iron from my house. The water is still red and quiet and… does it look thicker than it was?

New Human Activity Detected resonates in my ears from the same speakers that sounded the alarm.

There is someone there. Someone is standing on the beach. A red silhouette that leaves a trail of crimson on my so far peaceful beach as it slowly walks forward. 

“Grace hear me, question?” I hear over the intercom. 

“Hey! Yeah, I can hear you.” 

“Eridian scientists know what makes water red. The body is no longer foreign!” 

“Cool. Great. What is it?” 

“It appear water red because something mixed with water. Something human blood.”

“... what?” 

“Scientists detected a leak. Leak closed. But many blood passed through.”

“Rocky, there is someone on the beach.” 

“Someone?” 

“A human. I think? It’s human-shaped?” 

“Is human shape a friend of Grace?”

“I think I would remember meeting them.”

“Grace greet new human friend, Rocky arrives.” 

I peek outside again and I see the silhouette stopped walking. It’s just… staring forward. I start to think, what if it’s someone sent from earth? That wouldn’t explain the human blood, but god knows what kind of technology they’re developing there. What if they sent someone to bring me back? I don't want to get out. I don't want to go alone, but if whoever is standing there must be completely lost. Maybe they're hurt.

I slowly open the door. Please be human, please, please, please be human. I haven’t spoken to a human in a long time, but surely they’ll understand my fear given the circumstances. I step outside, stay by the door and after observing the immobile shape for a few more seconds, I call: 

“Hello!?” 

No reaction. Maybe they couldn’t hear me. I take a few steps closer, reaching the small fence in front of my house. 

“Hey! Hello!?” I call again. Nothing. I step closer again, until I am about ten meters away from them. I wish I could see them clearer now, but they are just as red and just as frozen in place as they were fifty meters ago. I can only see one side of his face but I still decipher long black hair sticking to his skin like blood clumps, one dark eye and a beard. He looked human. And exhausted. 

“Hello?” 

His neck snaps in my direction and I see the rest of his face. The eye I could not see was bloody, of an unnatural color, teeth similar to what you would see on an anglerfish grew on the side of his face. His other arm is missing. Not human, not human, not human! My body acts before I can even think. I try to get away, manage to step on my own foot and I fall to the ground like an idiot. Next step is awkwardly crawling away and trying to get back up while who or whatever is in front of me jumps away after hearing the shriek that came out of my throat. He takes a step back and lowers himself slightly, looking about a third as panicked as I was. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he finally speaks. 

“Are you… Are you real?” he asks. His voice sounds weak. 

“W… What?” 

“Are you real!?” he presses, sounding increasingly panicked as he starts to look left and right. 

“Yes I’m real, of course I’m real!” I answer. His breath is loud and irregular, I can feel fear and confusion radiating from him.

“I don't believe you. I don't... I'm not falling for this again. What’s my name?”

“I don’t know!”

“What is my name!?” he asks again, pointing at me like an accusatory policeman. 

“I don’t know! Where I’m from people introduce themselves and then I know their names! Maybe it’s different where you’re from, and I’m sorry I can’t guess your name, and I’m sorry I screamed but I didn’t expect company and you’re kind of scary looking! I promise I'm real and I am not trying to fool you, although that is probably what someone who wants to fool you would say, but I actually, actually don't want to fool you, as in I have no reason to try and fool you because I don't know who you are because, again, where I'm from, you don't guess other people's names!” he listens to my senseless rambling and it seems to calm him down. He lowers his arm and looks at me, bewildered. 

“You… You’re real. Oh fuck, you’re real. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I…” he stumbles forward, almost falling. He’s blinking repeatedly and he doesn’t seem like he’s quite looking at me. “I’m sorry I scared you…” I somehow find my way back on my feet while he keeps mumbling apologies. 

“It’s okay, man, happens to the best of us. Are you okay? You should sit down-” He shakes his head and falls to his knees. His breathing had settled, but it wasn’t making his situation less worrying. I notice his arm has been severed recently and is still bleeding. I help lower his body to the ground, calling Rocky who I just hear arriving. The stranger opens his mouth again, like a fish out of the water and he speaks again. 

“Please... please... Help me.”

Part 2