I haven’t been on tumblr in years. I’m just sad I wanna write. I am a boss ass bitch. I am thriving in more ways than I could have imagined years ago. I’m at a point where I have a whole bunch of friends, mostly who I’ve met through my craft beer hobby. My beer fridge is stuffed with the dopest beers from all over the country. I have an amazing boyfriend who I don’t even deserve. I work at fucking Warner Brothers which was a dream at some point. I don’t even have “assistant” in my title, I’m a goddamn production accountant with my own office.
But. I interviewed for a dream job at Netflix for the second time. Alright, maybe not a dream job, but I really wanted to work at Netflix. The first time was two years ago and I went through the process again within the past month. I didn’t get it. They told me yesterday. I left work and I called out again today. This should not affect me so much. One of the 6 people I interviewed with literally went off script and told me that I am KILLING it and to not at all be discouraged if I don’t get this job because getting a job at Netflix is super competitive. I just can’t help it. I’m so hurt. How can you do your best and it not be enough? How can I have an awesome boyfriend, friends, and a job at WB and still be sad?
I also talked to HBO and CNN in the same week as Netflix. There was a minute when I talked to myself and was like “damn, I never would have imagined being in this position.” When I first came to LA, I knew no one and had nothing. I was not even getting unpaid marketing internships and it was rough. I worked at a goddamn toilet store for 6 months. But look at me now. I’m doing GREAT and even if I’m not getting my dream job, I’m being taken seriously by every goddamn studio in this stupid city. I’ve had companies like Hulu and Disney reach out to ME. I am doing so well and I cannot shake this sadness because I just wanted to work at Netflix so much. But I didn’t lose anything, they did. I’m a fucking treat. Ask 90% of my bosses, I’m a fucking delight and they were bummed that I left for better opportunities but also really happy for me and more than happy to provide a reference. I’m just so crushed. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I don’t believe in god, but the universe has to have something better in store for me. I nailed it and I deserve the best. This is not the end. This is the beginning. This is a lesson in patience and acceptance. This was not the right opportunity for me and I will do better. I WILL do better. Netflix doesn’t even know what they missed out on yet. I’m a fucking queen. And one day, they’ll be begging me to work for them.
