“I married a combat veteran, so I see the after effects of service to the country. I am heavily invested in giving back to support veterans because they face a unique set of challenges that civilians cannot even begin to wrap their heads around. I wanted to help veterans specifically at the James Ballentine "Uptown" VFW - Post 246 because my husband is a member here, but also veterans at large in the Twin Cities, so I’m the senior vice president of the VFW Auxiliary Post #246.
I help with any initiatives that the post has as a whole. So we organize clothing drives for homeless veterans, especially this time of year before the real cold hits. We also partner with the VA and other counseling services to find ways to help vets bridge the transition back into life as citizens, because the biggest challenge is reintegration into society for these folks.
Last summer we had what I believe is the first ever VFW-sponsored booth at a Pride festival in the country. Our goal was to let the LGBTQ community know that all veterans are welcome here. ALL veterans. We don't care about your sexual orientation or your gender identity, we want you in our community. We really want to provide a place where veterans feel safe, protected, and can have that sense of camaraderie that maybe they haven't had since they've been out. It's really important to reconnect.”
“What do you wish people understood better about veterans?”
“The thing about veterans is a lot of them won’t ask for help if they need help. They’re always trying to help each other before they help themselves. They're very selfless individuals typically. They have some of the kindest and most giving hearts of anyone I know. But society perceives them as loud and obnoxious, especially here in the Midwest where people are very soft spoken. People worry that they're going to freak out, or snap. They curse a lot. They're kind of this wild card that people think of in an alien way.
But when people go from living a life where the decisions that they make determine whether people live or die, and then they come back and they have to live in an environment where that severity isn't there, their patience for other people's perceived struggles is challenging. It creates a difficult barrier in communication because you have people with a set of experiences that are so drastically different than the average citizen’s that there's no way to even begin the conversation unless there's an effort on both sides. And so I think a lot of times it's easier to disengage and just say, ‘There’s that scary veteran.’ Or the veteran says, ‘You know what? I'm going to avoid dealing with people who don't understand me and I'm just going to stick around people who do.’ So there's a natural divide that happens.
A lot of these folks come from a broken existence prior to the military. Life wasn't always a cakewalk before they got into the service. Uncle Sam stepped in and gave them meals, clothes, and clear expectations. So they felt safe and secure with an order to their life. But then when they come back, a lot of times they feel like they're dismissed.
I'll never be able to help as much as I want to. But both of my grandfathers served, my brother served, and several of my cousins served, so I feel like this is the way that I can serve. And if there are any vets out there who have come upon hard times and feel like they have no one else to listen to them, they can talk to any officer in this post. We are all here to listen. We will find resources and support to help. Because the worst thing in the world is for someone to feel alone.”
Renee