“hit him with a king rook pawn”

she/her, mid-20s. My masterlist! HumiliatedRook on AO3 and DW. Imprinted like a duckling on Beth/Benny from The Queen's Gambit (TQG). Ask me anything, like about my Beth/Benny Discord server or for TQG art/fic requests (Beth/Benny, gen, friendships)! No reposts or edits of my artwork without my permission.

[humiliatedrook]

On when they stop calling each other

Written with runningscissors.

Running on the assumption that Beth's spiral lasted the best of a year (which is brutal and sad but honestly, I think it makes the most sense timeline-wise):

In the book it's implied that Benny and Beth only chat twice the whole time she’s in Kentucky, which is the two phone calls we see in the show. This all hinges on Benny not being aware of how bad things really were for Beth both in the book and the show. The first call is before she spirals into binge drinking, so at this point she’s just isolating herself, but from Benny’s perspective sounds more or less fine. Then their second phone call is post bingeing, when she’s getting sober and trying to sort out Russia. We never see Benny interact with Beth at her lowest moment, so it’s pretty safe to assume he isn’t aware how bad off she’d allowed herself to get. Plus, in the show it’s established that others like Harry and Jolene tried to call her with no success, so even if he did call, chances are she wouldn’t pick up.

Here’s a list of potential options:



(a) Beth doesn't call him in Lexington until the letter from the Christian Crusade. Benny doesn't call either— this idea is a total bummer, but it can easily be argued that this happens, especially if one focuses on book!Beth's distance from everyone and everything and Benny giving her space to get her head sorted. 


(b) Beth calls him in Lexington (frequency can vary between once to sporadically). Benny doesn't call but always picks up. This presumes a lot about show!B2's relationship and Beth being willing to talk to Benny about stuff? They may or may not talk about chess. 


(c) Benny does call her (maybe a couple times, maybe just once), but he avoids the topic of chess and Beth doesn't press (both book and show-B2 can talk about things other than chess, but we don't get evidence of it in the book or show really) 


(d) Benny does call her a few times, but he tries to talk about her training and chess and Beth brushes him off to talk about other things instead.

In the end I fall somewhere between (a) and (d)— Beth doesn’t reach out to Benny unless she needs something from him— advice or money or both, but other than that she’s too focus on isolating herself and disassociating from everything that’s happened to call. So, that’s where option (d) happens.

By the time Beth is deep into her spiral they've basically mutually given up on each other. Benny's given up on the idea that Beth wants to be with him and Beth has given up wanting anything but to drown herself in alcohol.

[humiliatedrook]

Argos. (Doctor Who, G, 762 words)

In the year that Rose leaves with the Doctor “for ten more seconds” and Mickey never returns, having found another maternal figure and a noble purpose, Jackie Tyler learns to live alone.

-

"Let me tell you something about those who get left behind. Because it's hard. And that's what you become, hard." - Jackie Tyler

prompt fill ”baking” for @doctorrosebingo​

In the year that Rose leaves with the Doctor “for ten more seconds” and Mickey never returns, having found another maternal figure and a noble purpose, Jackie Tyler learns to live alone.

This isn’t the first time Rose has run off with the Doctor; hell, this isn’t the first time Rose has run off, period, but this time feels infinitely longer than any of the other times. In her apartment, Jackie learns to tune out the negative space where Rose used to eat chips on the couch, and she ignores Rose’s bedroom, where the bed is made every day and unused every night.

She busies herself with whatever she wants to do: buying a gym membership that she’ll use…tomorrow; calling Sharon to hear about her daughter Lilian’s promotion at work while steadfastly dodging questions like “where the heck is Rose travelin’ anyway”; visiting her mother who reskins the same lecture about Rose doing nothing with her life, “au pairing in France can’t be that much more lucrative compared to the shop”; doing the laundry with a rickety machine she needs to replace soon; missing her father and her husband and her daughter and Mickey and everyone she’s lost — all things she has convinced herself she wants to do because they feel familiar, repetitive, and normal, especially when crazy monsters attack London every other month, the Doctor can change the past and present and future and time itself with Jackie none the wiser, and Rose feels more alien every time she comes back.

Sometimes there are men, but they never stick around to be anything stronger than polite chitchat and eye candy. When she feels particularly lonely, she bakes, because Rose promised she and the Doctor would come ‘round for tea and biscuits soon, and a proper hostess is always well-prepared. (Timing, Jackie learns, is fickle. The one time Rose had called ahead of time to visit, the TARDIS hadn’t arrived until a month later, and the cinnamon rolls were stale a week too long by then.)

She was never amazing in the kitchen, because Pete would always complain about how she washed the dishes, and those instant frozen meals from the supermarket were just so much easier. But on the first of many days when Jackie loses count of the weeks since Rose last called, she had been window-shopping by a small secondhand place displaying One Thousand and One Recipes, the cookbook. Jackie had had a long day. A lady’s got to treat herself! Since then, it’s become her new favorite book, her own portal to adventure from the comfort of home.

She’s a proper baker now: sticky toffee pudding, raspberry crème brûlée, Martha Stewart-style monkey bread, royal walnut cake with Russian frosting, pineapple cupcakes with coconut cream frosting, you name it. The batch is always too big, and to save her waistline Jackie knows she needs to find some sugar substitutes pronto or reduce the proportions of every recipe, because no way a woman her age can eat all those desserts by herself. If the results are successful enough, she’ll deliver them to Apartment 3A with Mara’s terribly ravenous twins. Sometimes, she wonders whether she learned to do these kinds of things too late for Rose, a young woman now, to appreciate. Maybe someday Rose will have…actually, could Rose ever have children with the Doctor? Will Jackie ever be able to call herself a grandmother? She’s never asked, and she isn’t sure she wants to hear the answer.

More than any other mother (she’ll bet Mickey’s old toolbox on that), Jackie braces herself every day for her daughter to walk through the door at Powell Estates, Apartment 4C, as a shell of the little girl she had raised by herself, come hell or high water: memory mutilated, body transformed, even some entity merged with the giant blue box into something brilliantly heroic, frighteningly beautiful, and wholly unrecognizable. Jackie has watched her daughter age three years in one and wrestles with whether she wants Rose to miss her as much as the other way around.

In The Odyssey, Odysseus’s faithful, aging dog had died with one last smile on its face as soon as his master came home after twenty years. It’s not Rose’s fault, but, as the one left behind, Jackie wonders if that’s her fate, too.

Today, Jackie watches the timer ding and grabs her favorite red oven mitts (a last birthday gift from Mickey) to check whether her banoffee pie is done.

It’s not fully set yet, so Jackie resets the timer and waits another few minutes.

[dailytvwomen]

In honor of dailytvwomen reaching 4k followers, we’ve decided to hold our very own appreciation week centered around women in television! Everyone is welcome to participate, and make sure to tag #tvwomenaw22 so we can see your sets 💗 This will take place the week of MARCH 2ND until MARCH 8TH (international women’s day!) Here are the themes for each day 💖

day 1 ♡ favorite female led show

day 2 ♡ favorite female character

day 3 ♡ an edit focusing on color

day 4 ♡ favorite dynamic 

day 5 ♡ favorite badass moment(s)

day 6 ♡ an including quotes/lyrics

day 7 ♡ free choice 

we can’t wait to see what you all come up with! 💖

[humiliatedrook]

On what Harry Beltik represents to Beth (a general love letter to the character)

tl;dr: Beth and Benny are a better couple but Harry is a better match for basically any other person besides Beth or Benny

The story shows Harry’s got the potential to be a very feasible love interest / attractive leading man, but because the story is Beth’s, we have to see she’s not going to go for what’s typically desirable.

So FIRST on the list of reasons “why Harry is attractive,” Harry is smart and bookish and enthusiastic about chess which is already a pretty elite game in the 1960s.  When we first meet him, he’s good enough to be a state champion and on his way to becoming grandmaster, with a rating of 2150 still being pretty good.  Intelligence is sexy, reading is sexy, niche interests that require a lot of mental power are sexy, regardless of appearance.  

He is also attending college for engineering, which is a super steady and respectable path for success in this time period.  As a prospective husband, he would be a hot commodity at a normal college, and he is probably one in Lexington now.  Not in a suave-mysterious-outsider way, but in a cute-smart-boy-you’re-paired-with-on-a-project-for-class sort of way.

SECOND, we learn why Harry is this smart - he’s a really hard worker and emotionally steady person who reflects on themselves frequently.  We learn he’s successful not because he’s naturally talented, but because he works very very hard by reading a ton of books.  Obviously, he’s not going to be as good as Beth is, especially not once she reads the few books she hasn’t yet in his collection and he teaches her everything he knows.   

On emotional steadiness, he takes steady risks - He fixes his teeth (which will help him infinitely with job opportunities), and he accepts the cost of it.  He recognizes he’s taking a gamble, but then when the gamble doesn’t pan out he goes to work in the grocery store to pay for his degree.  He’s determined to take a conventional path to success, and he accepts the sacrifices he has to make for that.  Offering to live in someone’s home to coach them isn’t glamorous, like Benny working a room at tournaments, or super exhilarating, like Beth wiping the floor with people in speed chess, or something that inspires sexual tension like “can you come to New York?” Or “Do you like my hair?”  It’s kind and caring and touching.  As close to the conventional “I think you’re cute, want to get dinner?” as Beth can get.

Still, a guy who is humble enough to put in the work to be as good as he can?  And then a guy who can admit his limits and his faults and cut his losses?  And then be resilient enough to adapt to new circumstances and still find happiness in the things that matter to him?  

When a very harsh Beth insults him, he also shows he’s a generally kind and humble and practical person based on the way he talks about the people in his workplace.  

Harry isn’t a sore loser, as shown in the quote he gives to the newspaper immediately after losing State Champion to Beth.  His lack of toxic masculinity?  Amazing.  Then since he’s not a sore loser, I think it’s easier to read purely good intentions when he cares enough about her to check in on her after her loss in Paris and shows up to support her in the New York phone call?  As long as I confirm for myself it’s not in some messed up I-want-her-to-owe-me-so-she’ll-sleep-with-me context, but in the context of I-am-a-caring friend because Beth has too few of those, it would make a person get very warm and fuzzy if not cry.

Harry’s level of self-assurance, with the nuances of his excitement and doubts and disappointments but also resilience, is pretty rare in characters.  A lot of the world IS Harry - maybe somewhat innately gifted in something but not the best.  And a lot of the world would find Harry to be aspirational or an equal, and a lot of people would be very happy to have their own Harry.

THIRD, Harry is objectively physically attractive!  Looks-wise I could insert a “his teeth are fixed now” joke here, but that’d be a bit cliched.  His dress sense is pretty unassuming but decent - I like his jacket and his hair.  He’s got the whole smart-and-a-little-dorky-boy-next-door sort of vibe when we see him in Episode 5 - he’s splashing water on his face and getting nervous and swallowing thickly when he sees Beth dancing to fever.  Like if Beth wasn’t a prodigy destined for world domination but just a normal college girl in a romcom, we would be rooting for Harry to make a move.

So why don’t we see him as the heartthrob that all of the town sees him to be?  Because in the show we only see the characters through Beth’s eyes.  And Beth’s lack of attraction provides a lot of insight into her character.  By having zero interest toward Harry, she’s saying she doesn’t want a steady partner, she doesn’t need the stability of a family love.  She doesn’t reject him outright, because she appreciates there’s a part of her that likes the comfort and settling, the part of her that was previously supported by Alma.  But then he leaves of his own accord (going back to the humble and knows when to cut his losses), and she’s forced to grow and accept that that’s not a feasible path for her or a nice way to treat people.  I like what he represents, as a very standard definition of success, and I like even more how his representation pushes Beth’s character growth with regard to travel (she can’t be stagnant), chess (more respect for history, enough to beat Benny) and romance (she needs excitement and an equal).

Also going back to his sexy self-respect again, the show could've been some weird love triangle thing a la Twilight or Hunger Games where Harry and Benny compete with each other, but instead we get Harry showing some degree of self-respect for himself when he realizes the relationship isn't working out.  This is perhaps a best-case-scenario for exes.

Finally, Harry is perfectly primed for his own love story - there’s the repetition every day of schoolwork / grocery store management, but the monotony isn’t bad.   But then he gets this crush on a very pretty person that goes grocery shopping every day and they can have a meet cute where their shopping carts collide and their hands touch or something, and then in subsequent visits they keep catching each other’s eyes and making jokes.  Eventually Harry works up the courage to ask her on a date and they live happily ever after.  (Alternatively, he meets someone in college or through friends).

[humiliatedrook]

“our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears” (Arthur Levertov/Hilton Wexler)

A homemade gif justifying why I ship this

our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears | Arthur Levertov/Hilton Wexler, M for drug use (weed) and referenced sexual content, 5.4K, Apr. 2021 | Pre-canon, during- and post-NYC speed-chess-night through Hilton Wexler's eyes.

Hilton reassures himself that sitting in the shadow of greatness must be better than sitting nowhere at all.

Eagle-eyed chess players can spot Watt’s knife, an accessory for the chalk outline of his public persona, but few ever notice that Levertov twirls a fork like a pen between his fingers when he’s thinking, and Wexler always keeps a spoon in his pocket.

Why? they would ask. A question that the universe itself can’t explain, but it can rationalize, so it does.

There’s one layer of rationalization: Benny eschews basically all utensils except knives, Arthur’s fork is a family heirloom, and Hilton has a lucky spoon.

But also, there’s Benny, angles sharp as blades defining his nose, his jaw, his brows. His eyes flash like radioactive lightning, the kind released by supermassive black holes. The event horizon of his eyeline lures his opponents in before it tears them apart.

Arthur has his multi-pronged mind that can pierce any problem, any person across a board. The trident enables ranged combat, summons a flood that leaves his opponents in zugzwang, their king with no hope of escape.

And tactics-wise, if Benny tends to favor skewers, Arthur’s partial to forks. Benny isn’t afraid to swoop in to battle you up close, like any knife fighter, while Arthur’s formations are a little more scattered, spanning the entire board.

And next to these two fearsome fighters, there’s Hilton, clutching his spoon. He likes to think he’s unassuming, easy to underestimate, but he can be a weapon in his own right. But too often, he finds himself a victim of zeitnot, stumbling like a klutz over his too-big feet, a child in the throes of growing pains.

If Benny plays like Zeus, and Arthur like Poseidon, then that means Hilton must be Hades, but for some reason the analogy erodes the back of his teeth like acid.

A crack edit inspired by Beth’s love of eggs

💚 Reblogs, likes, comments, kudos, and concrit always appreciated, thank you! 💚

[humiliatedrook]

First board.

Originally posted on AO3.

Beth and Benny as intimidating players on their university competitive chess teams. Inspired by two college AUs:

drives you crazy getting old by @faearies​

(I’d Be Lying If I Said I Didn’t) Have Designs on You by runningscissors.

Important to observe for the plot: the mark on Benny’s neck and lips. Honestly the college setting was an excuse for Beth to wear an ill-fitting uniform blazer.

One of my first digital drawings ever! Pose inspired by this November 2020 Rolling Stone cover.

😊 Reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated! 💗

❌ NO REPOSTS OR EDITS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. ❌

[tqgincorrectquotes]

Harry: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'm just excited to have a bunk bed.

Jolene: ...

Jolene: I'm going to tell him.

Townes: Don't you dare!

[humiliatedrook]

@belfromhell

[humiliatedrook]

Enumeration (Beth Harmon/Benny Watts)

Originally made by unyataylorjoy.

Enumeration for BeluKertasOrang | T, 571, Apr. 2021 | Benny POV.

Wrote a fic inspired by this Tiktok even though it’s apparently not available anymore?? https://www.tiktok.com/@valeveevee/video/6952206587947699461

Originally posted on AO3.💚 Reblogs, likes, comments, kudos, and concrit always appreciated, thank you! 💚

Five ants crawling up the walls and windows.   Four books strewn on the floor.  Three duffel bags in the corner, unzipped and rifled hastily through.  Two crosses on the wall, small decorations against some frankly garish wallpaper.  One Beth Harmon sulking from the edge of the bed of their hotel room, her face cut by shadows, softness obscured so only jagged edges remain.

Five hours since this quarrel began, four of which they’d had to illude joviality at the insipid networking event downstairs.  Three days left for this international tournament.  Two of the most stubborn people in the world, together in one hotel room in Quito.

Five times in the last hour that Benny’s considered slamming the door and never coming back.  Four breaths he takes a series of three times, placating himself so they can get back to studying.  Two more respirations before he opens his mouth to apologize.  One rotation in the stupid desk chair from where he sits to face her, before he’s interrupted by her voice from across the room.

Five words, she says.  “Sorry I got so upset.”

He sees her, her demeanor mirroring the way she gets when she knows resignation is imminent, when she wants to scream at a particularly tough game.  The teenage part of her that never really grew up.  She shifts on the bed, so the lamp illuminates her just a bit more, drapes her in a soft radiance.

Four heartbeats, that’s all it takes for the rougher edges of his anger to abrade.

How can he stay this mad at her?

He holds his arms out to her, scrunching his palms open and closed, like an infant saying “more” with grabby hands.  Come here.  Come here, and I can’t promise things are going to be okay after this, but maybe if we pretend we know what we’re doing for long enough they will be.

Three barefooted strides she takes across the ocean-carpeted floor, into his lap.  Her eyes are rolling a bit, but so are his.

Beth collapses her lips onto his, awash in relief, though hints of tight chagrin linger.  She slides to straddle him, press her breasts onto his chest.  His hands scrunch against her pajama shirt.

Two kisses she dots on his cheeks, tentative and teasing, that he reciprocates easily.

Benny pulls back, and he cocks his head to observe her up close, as she laces her fingers through his hair.  He savors how comforting it is to smile.  “I’m sorry.  But you still keep your distance, you know.”

Beth raises her eyebrows and presses her forehead to his as she replies wryly, “And I suppose you don’t?”

“I haven’t noticed.”  Benny shrugs and kisses her deeply again.

One more time, he looks at her, her hazel eyes now bright with sparks, if slightly fogged by desire.

There are still words to exchange and books to read and opponents to prepare for in the coming days, but the infinite kisses are just a tad intoxicating.

Five olive branches extending in the form of fingers on four eager hands.  Three times Beth shakes her head with something like amusement, as if she can’t believe how easy forgiveness can be.   Two exhalations that come reassuringly close to resembling laughter.   One more second, and Benny lets go (emotionally, that is; physically, his hands have zero intention of recusing themselves from Beth’s body) and decides to focus on what really counts.

[humiliatedrook]

observation!!!

In Episode 5, Harry has presumably not started college yet (i.e., hasn't moved in and spent his tuition on fixing his teeth). Just before the Mexico City Invitational, in Episode 4, Beth has graduated high school.

Assuming Harry took no time off, Beth and Harry are the same age, yes?

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Beth must have graduated at 17 because she graduates before Mexico City where it is said that she is 17, I always felt that Harry was a few years older considering that he was already well known in the chess world and even though he doesn’t have anywhere near her natural talent, she struggles to beat him so I think he must be older. He also might not have necessarily started college at 18 and I always got the impression that she was very young in comparison to everyone else, especially since she is only 13 in the book when she first meets him.

[humiliatedrook]

Hi! 😊 Sorry, should've clarified I'm referring to show canon. The show definitely aged Beth up from 13 in the book to ~14 or 15 in 1963! So it would then make sense for her to be ~17 in 1966 (HS graduation, Mexico City), yes!

Valid points! I think even though Harry is well known (by the twins and Townes in Harry and Beth's native Kentucky, and Benny, who seems to read about everyone in great detail) by the Kentucky State Championship 1963 / Cincinnati 1963, he could still be a high schooler, since we only hear Townes say he's the State Champion on his way to becoming a grandmaster, and that Beltik is younger than Cullen. Being young doesn't stop you from being great at chess 😊 Idk, I think him being around Beth's age adds some extra layers to Beltik's character and his relationship with Beth for him, so this might just be my new personal headcanon.

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Interesting points, you might be right. I always imagined them being maybe 4 years or so apart but I could also see them being closer to a year or 2. I think because Harry looks so much older to me than Beth in episode 2, and because in the book the age difference is much clearer given that she is 13 (I only mentioned this because I think even though they aged her up, the character dynamics remained the same. So Benny being older than Beth in the book remained the same in the show and I imagined the same for Harry too). I think you could be right but I would still say he’s at least 1 year older rather than the exact same age. And because Beth has more natural talent, but struggles to beat him in ep 2, I always put this down to the fact that he was older, had been playing for longer, and therefore his practice allowed him to be at Beth’s level initially. Not that he can’t be a great chess player when he is young, just that I didn’t think that he would be as good as Beth at any point unless he had much more experience than her which would have allowed him to be (obviously he had been doing tournaments for a long time whilst Beth was in the orphanage and not allowed to play, which would allow him more experience than her even at the same age, but she was still always thinking and practicing in her head).

I think you’re definitely right though and I think they’re closer in age than I believed them to be! I think maybe I just assumed this because he looks like a man in ep 2 whereas Beth looks like a teenager. They definitely don’t make it clear though! I think they messed up the timeline in the show anyway because Harry refers to the Kentucky tournament as “5 years ago” in ep 5 which can’t be the case as Beth is 17 there.

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Sorry for the long paragraph😂 I also wanted to mention that I love the path through the mirrored maze (it made me cry so much and I don’t normally cry at anything I read) and everything else you have written

[humiliatedrook]

Re: how they look, very fair! The show relies a lot on visual appearances to convince us ATJ and Moses Ingram are their ages, so I can see why it'd be a potentially contentious source of confusion. You're right on the book dynamics being pretty similar regardless of age! (The show makes Beth, Benny, and Harry all much much warmer than in the book, but the skeletal structure of who they are and how they interact remains the same.)

Also very valid on Harry being one year older and all your other points! People stay back or jump grades for a variety of reasons; when I say the same age I do mean give or take a year haha, so I think we do agree!

The show could've definitely emphasized Harry's being a teenager in Ep 2, lbr they could've done a lot of things haha. And yeah, the "5 years" comment doesn't make sense so I just interpret it as hyperbole...like, we know they re-connect right after Mexico City, so 1966, which is only 3 years since the Kentucky State Championship.

And no!!! Don't apologize for the long paragraph 💚 Never a better place or subject to ramble than on the Internet about minute details of a piece of a media! 😊💚 Why else be on Tumblr??

Also heheheh, eeep, thank you so much, I'm blushing through the screen!!! 💚 I'm not usually an angst/whump person (others own that crown), so I'm glad to learn my foray into it worked for someone!! Definitely couldn't've done that fic (and pretty much every other one) without my co-writer @dialectica-esoterica. Also, I have THE MOST FUN writing for this fandom but still feel like an amateur everyday, so I'm touched and delighted you can dig the way I string words together and I can only hope my writing continues to be fun & enjoyable!! 🥺💚

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Yes I definitely think you are right so thank you for saying that about their ages because I hadn’t thought of it that way until you brought it up! In my head he was always older, and I think in the book all of them seem to be in their 20s (Harry, benny, Townes, etc) so I’m glad they made her slightly older and some of them slightly younger. Part of the reason I want her to be with benny too was because he is the only older guy who didn’t spend time with her when she was young and I always felt weird about Harry basically having every feeling he had for her be based on their interactions in Kentucky so I’m glad that he seems to be closer to her age than I originally thought. Though it is weird in the book because she is 13 and he seems to be older than he is in the show. With Benny I always felt better about their relationship because he wasn’t basing any feelings he had for her on interactions they had when she was 15 or 16 and theirs is the only relationship that happens when she is 18.

You are both very talented and I loved that fic, you are very appreciated❤️. And don’t put yourself down hahaha, I have read all of your fics and hope you continue to write many more

[humiliatedrook]

My personal headcanon is Beth and Harry have a marginally closer relationship than we see on screen - if he continues to attend Kentucky State Championships with Beth defending her title, then he continues to face Beth. So him calling her after Mexico City and "fixing his teeth" for her isn't...so out of the blue? (Also I kinda dig the idea that Alma got to attend the tournaments and was very fond of Harry, so Beth lets Harry stay with her as she continues to grasp at grief). I'm not necessarily tied to it but I love thinking about it.

💚💚💚💚 Thank you so much for reading and being so kind, jl!!!

[nrgburst]

For Mother’s Day (and for @coruscating-ly) 

Coda (1392 words) by NRGburst Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Queen’s Gambit (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alma Wheatley/Manuel, Beth Harmon & Alma Wheatley Characters: Alma Wheatley, Beth Harmon Additional Tags: implied canonical character death, Alma-centric Summary:

It’s better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, than a long life spent in a miserable way. Alan Watts

Also with Alma absent but her memory threaded through the fic:

Trifles

(G, 791 words, Beth Harmon/Benny Watts, background Mike/Jolene, Grief/Mourning, Non-linear narrative, Kidfic)

[humiliatedrook]

On Beth’s flashbacks to her time with Benny in Paris

tl;dr: I can’t watch the Paris match without getting so so sad and here’s a reason why.

She’s trying to remember everything she studied with Benny but her memory retrieval isn’t working and it’s so frustrating and sad to watch

There’s this huge contrast in mood between how happy/content/focused she is in NYC versus her struggling on the verge of tears through a hangover

And there’s just all these unresolved feelings that come up when you look at them studying together — like they care about each other but they haven’t quite admitted it yet (she’s smiling at him!! he’s smiling at her!!)

like in so many ways Benny and Beth represent the best in each other as players and people  and I think having Beth flashback to better times with Benny during a really heartbreaking moment for her kind of drives that home for me

I think off the top of my head - we only ever see her really flashback to Alice and Shaibel and then this one with Benny — she remembers lessons from Alice, Shaibel, and Benny (presumed to be what they’re silently discussing in the flashback but can’t remember), and ones formative to her identity as a player and a person (You resign now, that’s my girl, etc).  She remembers important emotional moments (like Alice going into the pool) and since I ship B2 I also see Beth remembering how much she was into Benny at the time, despite being focused on chess.  

And yes Beth flashes back to more dramatic moments (Alice burning her things, her father leaving for the last time, the car accident), but it’s that Beth remembers these moments that feel like small slices of time, like it’s the little moments with that mean the most / are the most vividly recalled to a person

Beth could’ve recalled the thrill of beating Benny at speed chess or them having sex but instead, she remembers them studying together, because their studies were so important to her as a player and their time together meant so much to her.  Obviously he could’ve been more open with her throughout New York emotionally but it’s over the chess board at this table in his apartment where he’s the most open/vulnerable to her, when he’s teaching her everything he knows.

Anyway when I watch the Paris scene all of this seems to resonate with me: Beth’s frustration and shame trying to remember something but your head isn’t in the right place, her wistfulness for better times where you felt like you were at the top of the world while with someone you care about and want to talk to and need to have conversations with, the shame of someone working so hard for you and knowing you’re letting them (and yourself) down, and the fact that Benny is a thread through some of her highest and lowest moments in life and all that says about how important they are for each other.

[humiliatedrook]

"Do you want to be my second?"

Originally posted on AO3.

Inspired by they say it's wonderful by @brella​.

😊 Reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated! 💗

❌ NO REPOSTS OR EDITS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. ❌

[humiliatedrook]

observation!!!

In Episode 5, Harry has presumably not started college yet (i.e., hasn't moved in and spent his tuition on fixing his teeth). Just before the Mexico City Invitational, in Episode 4, Beth has graduated high school.

Assuming Harry took no time off, Beth and Harry are the same age, yes?

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Beth must have graduated at 17 because she graduates before Mexico City where it is said that she is 17, I always felt that Harry was a few years older considering that he was already well known in the chess world and even though he doesn’t have anywhere near her natural talent, she struggles to beat him so I think he must be older. He also might not have necessarily started college at 18 and I always got the impression that she was very young in comparison to everyone else, especially since she is only 13 in the book when she first meets him.

[humiliatedrook]

Hi! 😊 Sorry, should've clarified I'm referring to show canon. The show definitely aged Beth up from 13 in the book to ~14 or 15 in 1963! So it would then make sense for her to be ~17 in 1966 (HS graduation, Mexico City), yes!

Valid points! I think even though Harry is well known (by the twins and Townes in Harry and Beth's native Kentucky, and Benny, who seems to read about everyone in great detail) by the Kentucky State Championship 1963 / Cincinnati 1963, he could still be a high schooler, since we only hear Townes say he's the State Champion on his way to becoming a grandmaster, and that Beltik is younger than Cullen. Being young doesn't stop you from being great at chess 😊 Idk, I think him being around Beth's age adds some extra layers to Beltik's character and his relationship with Beth for him, so this might just be my new personal headcanon.

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Interesting points, you might be right. I always imagined them being maybe 4 years or so apart but I could also see them being closer to a year or 2. I think because Harry looks so much older to me than Beth in episode 2, and because in the book the age difference is much clearer given that she is 13 (I only mentioned this because I think even though they aged her up, the character dynamics remained the same. So Benny being older than Beth in the book remained the same in the show and I imagined the same for Harry too). I think you could be right but I would still say he’s at least 1 year older rather than the exact same age. And because Beth has more natural talent, but struggles to beat him in ep 2, I always put this down to the fact that he was older, had been playing for longer, and therefore his practice allowed him to be at Beth’s level initially. Not that he can’t be a great chess player when he is young, just that I didn’t think that he would be as good as Beth at any point unless he had much more experience than her which would have allowed him to be (obviously he had been doing tournaments for a long time whilst Beth was in the orphanage and not allowed to play, which would allow him more experience than her even at the same age, but she was still always thinking and practicing in her head).

I think you’re definitely right though and I think they’re closer in age than I believed them to be! I think maybe I just assumed this because he looks like a man in ep 2 whereas Beth looks like a teenager. They definitely don’t make it clear though! I think they messed up the timeline in the show anyway because Harry refers to the Kentucky tournament as “5 years ago” in ep 5 which can’t be the case as Beth is 17 there.

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Sorry for the long paragraph😂 I also wanted to mention that I love the path through the mirrored maze (it made me cry so much and I don’t normally cry at anything I read) and everything else you have written

[humiliatedrook]

Re: how they look, very fair! The show relies a lot on visual appearances to convince us ATJ and Moses Ingram are their ages, so I can see why it'd be a potentially contentious source of confusion. You're right on the book dynamics being pretty similar regardless of age! (The show makes Beth, Benny, and Harry all much much warmer than in the book, but the skeletal structure of who they are and how they interact remains the same.)

Also very valid on Harry being one year older and all your other points! People stay back or jump grades for a variety of reasons; when I say the same age I do mean give or take a year haha, so I think we do agree!

The show could've definitely emphasized Harry's being a teenager in Ep 2, lbr they could've done a lot of things haha. And yeah, the "5 years" comment doesn't make sense so I just interpret it as hyperbole...like, we know they re-connect right after Mexico City, so 1966, which is only 3 years since the Kentucky State Championship.

And no!!! Don't apologize for the long paragraph 💚 Never a better place or subject to ramble than on the Internet about minute details of a piece of a media! 😊💚 Why else be on Tumblr??

Also heheheh, eeep, thank you so much, I'm blushing through the screen!!! 💚 I'm not usually an angst/whump person (others own that crown), so I'm glad to learn my foray into it worked for someone!! Definitely couldn't've done that fic (and pretty much every other one) without my co-writer @dialectica-esoterica. Also, I have THE MOST FUN writing for this fandom but still feel like an amateur everyday, so I'm touched and delighted you can dig the way I string words together and I can only hope my writing continues to be fun & enjoyable!! 🥺💚

[humiliatedrook]

observation!!!

In Episode 5, Harry has presumably not started college yet (i.e., hasn't moved in and spent his tuition on fixing his teeth). Just before the Mexico City Invitational, in Episode 4, Beth has graduated high school.

Assuming Harry took no time off, Beth and Harry are the same age, yes?

[jl5566-deactivated20241101]

Beth must have graduated at 17 because she graduates before Mexico City where it is said that she is 17, I always felt that Harry was a few years older considering that he was already well known in the chess world and even though he doesn’t have anywhere near her natural talent, she struggles to beat him so I think he must be older. He also might not have necessarily started college at 18 and I always got the impression that she was very young in comparison to everyone else, especially since she is only 13 in the book when she first meets him.

[humiliatedrook]

Hi! 😊 Sorry, should've clarified I'm referring to show canon. The show definitely aged Beth up from 13 in the book to ~14 or 15 in 1963! So it would then make sense for her to be ~17 in 1966 (HS graduation, Mexico City), yes!

Valid points! I think even though Harry is well known (by the twins and Townes in Harry and Beth's native Kentucky, and Benny, who seems to read about everyone in great detail) by the Kentucky State Championship 1963 / Cincinnati 1963, he could still be a high schooler, since we only hear Townes say he's the State Champion on his way to becoming a grandmaster, and that Beltik is younger than Cullen. Being young doesn't stop you from being great at chess 😊 Idk, I think him being around Beth's age adds some extra layers to Beltik's character and his relationship with Beth for him, so this might just be my new personal headcanon.

[humiliatedrook]

observation!!!

In Episode 5, Harry has presumably not started college yet (i.e., hasn't moved in and spent his tuition on fixing his teeth). Just before the Mexico City Invitational, in Episode 4, Beth has graduated high school.

Assuming Harry took no time off, Beth and Harry are the same age, yes?

[lawstudentinpain]

soo remember when in the Netflix show The Queen's Gambit they mentioned an actual female chess player Nona Gaprindashvili? like during the scene where Beth was competing against players from the USSR and they remarked how in Russia a female chess player wasn't all that unusual because for example there was Nona (who is actually from my country Georgia btw but whatever we were part of the USSR at the time and you can't expect an average Netflix viewer to understand how Georgia and other countries in the USSR were fighting for independence and didn't consider ourselves as part of Russia) BUT UNLIKE our precious fictional woman chess player protagonist she "had never faced men"? yeah that was a false statement and Netflix knew it, and now Nona is actually suing them as she should. and I just find it so funny and ironic how a show that was meant to empower women humiliated a real-life female chess player who HAS in fact competed against AND defeated men. they just really wanted their fictional pretty red head girlboss chess genius to be sooo much better and more special than other women. Netflix really answers the question "can you be #girlboss feminist AND blatantly sexist at the same time?" and the answer is yes

[nrgburst]

“I saw the whole thing as a dance,” Taylor Joy says. “I used to be a dancer, and I saw learning the choreography as dance, but just with your fingers.”

Brodie-Sangster and other fellow co-star Harry Melling (Harry Beltik) say that showrunner Scott Frank encouraged them to choose a real-life chess pro to model their respective games after. Brodie-Sangster went with Bobby Fischer while Melling opted for current world champion Magnus Carlsen. (How the Queen’s Gambit Created an Authentic Portrayal of Chess Mastery – Den of Geek)

For @coruscating-ly (Spot the HumiliatedRook? 😉)