spread love

Life's about jumpin in puddles even though you're gunna get your socks wet

[heavensghost]

[humilitize]

Too often have I undervalued just experiencing.. excusing “failed” relationships with “I/ they were not ready..” or “it might have worked if..” the reality is none of those relationships were going to last any longer than they did and every single positive and negative memory served a purpose in my next relationship. Sometimes I judge myself for never spending extended periods of time alone but I have learned so much about my values and how to respect myself and my partners. Whether or not I have finally met the “right guy finally” is irrelevant because had I met him 3 years ago or even 6 months ago I would not have been the same person. I have met the right person for me right now and only time will tell whether we will grow together or apart, learning valuable lessons either way. I also have the repetitive thought about if I met a previous person for the first time now we might turn out differently but I would not be meeting the same people I met when I did because they too have been shaped into new individuals with time. Bottom line would be to be present in the moment, with the people in front of you and do not regret the past, learn from it, right wrongs if necessary, but mostly love yourself through all of it.

[humilitize]

Untitled

I’m haunted by a lot of things, not just one  or two

Followed by the things I’ve said and what I did not do.

I’m haunted by the one I loved, and how things had to end

Because when all things were said and done, we just could not be friends.

I’m haunted by the way I left, with no goodbye at all

I left you in a different town and I didn’t even call.

I’m haunted by the way you loved me, until the very end

The dozen ways I broke you but then I did not mend.

I’m haunted by the those people, and, if only in my sleep,

All the things I’d say to them, but I will never meet.

I’m haunted by the bottle, that I could not put down,

Still followed by the feeling that I’d intended to drown.

[perrfectly]

[humilitize]

Okay so I’m really fascinated with the idea that everything is happening all at once and everything that could happen is happening on some plane of existence. Time is just something we have created to organize ourselves and explain moments of existence. It is in our dreams that we develop memories (people with sleep disorders often have poor memory). By this explanation I have a theory. I often have very realistic dreams of people in my life, very plausible situations with real people, sometimes even mixing me up in real life. Typically the deeper connected I am with the person the more realistic the dreams are. I have had regular dreams about an old love for years now, to the point where I have been letting it corrupt my conscious thoughts and actions. They are not the same dreams, but they are always extremely vivid. Sometimes we are friends, sometimes we are lovers, sometimes we hardly know each other, sometimes we have a very negative relationship. In what I am perceiving in my current reality we actually have zero relationship to speak of, however I still feel subconsciously attached. It has been distressing me a lot, because I feel weak and desperate (sometimes crazy) and the “obsession” makes me feel like we have unfinished business even though that is very unlikely. So by this theory, maybe we have different stories in alternative realities and in my dreams I have been able to develop memories of “times” that are not part of this reality. And maybe I’m crazy either way. I’m okay with crazy and long as I am okay with myself.

[humilitize]

I think I’m pretty lonely, but there doesn’t seem to be an alternative. I feel like I genuinely love myself a lot and enjoy spending lots of time alone but my Gemini/ Leo complex makes me yearn for intense intellectual connection and an absurd amount of adoration. I think love is simpler for some people. I think so much about it I’m not even sure I know what it is. Pretty sure it’s supposed to be a feeling and not a thought, for starters. I’ve hardly been drinking or socializing since I moved home and I know I was getting drunk to go out to detach from the loneliness, too blurry to notice that no one is truly providing me what I’ll be looking for the morning after. I desire companionship though and I don’t think that makes  me weak or insecure, I just know the perfect little spot for someone to sit in my heart when the time rolls around

[death-by-elocution]

[asoftwrongness]

#28

[design-is-fine]

[dopy]

[prospects]

[humilitize]

Loving yourself doesn’t always mean liking yourself. It’s like any relationship, there will be days, maybe even months, when things will feel like a downward spiral. Loving yourself means being present for all of that, making a commitment to yourself. There will be times when all you can do is curl up in a ball and cry, respect that. There will be times when you feel like you have lost your moral compass, stand by your experience. Loving yourself makes finding yourself possible after the chaos is over. Loving yourself is a practice. When you can make good choices do it. Get enough sleep, eat food you enjoy, seek out like-minded people, explore your interests. Nurture yourself, don’t wait for others to make you feel whole, you will wait a lifetime. Love yourself  into brilliance, others will see your light and you will be united.

[euo]

[softwaring]

[slackercountry]

[criwes]

[vjeranski]

No title (Intruder)By Magda Magdziarz