Please love me is Jimin's line today
The hardest few seconds for me to watch, were these...
Jimin was absolutely dreading appearing in screen without his trademark beautiful hair.
We know he left it as late as he could and didn't want to show anyone.
He looked like he was barely holding it together when he called attention to his hair being shaved. He must have genuinely been scared of the reaction he would get, even from Kook.
Jungkook, you absolute fucking LEGEND 💜
He knew exactly what to say.
When Jungkook told Jimin he looked good (even with no hair) Jimin turned his face away <those feels choking him up> and when he turned back, the almost desperate look of gratitude mixed with relief was so clear.
Please love me is Jimin's line today.
This is not about vanity, ego or pride.
It brings home how fragile his confidence is. His need for approval and the assurance of being loved is strong. It’s so heartbreaking, but we know he hasn't had an easy road.**
Thankfully he did stand a little bit taller once JK reassured him...
But it wasn't an easy moment for Jungkook either.
Whether because he had to witness Jimin's fear and could do nothing more than pet his head, or because he was facing his own misgivings (probably both) he looked equally lost in that moment.
Remember that these boys have left their home once before and journeyed to a place that was less than welcoming. They've had to face the grim, disproving faces of unkind critics and a system that didn't support or value them.
I don't doubt there were echoes of that feeling on this day, that same sense of trepidation they've known before.
We know how the military treats men like them.
You can take the boy out of Busan but you can't take Busan out of the boy.
(People say this about my home town too...)
The shadow of fear is still there in his eyes but.... he looks like a (very hot) backstreet thug who will absolutely fuck you up no questions asked.
It does occur to me that MS might be the reason Jimin has been learning to fight.
I mean really learning to fight.
Yes he's probably doing boxing too but i suspect something more than that ... you shouldn't get torn knuckles from boxing lessons unless you aren't wrapping your hands properly, just saying.
<Gotta love a person who can hold you and cradle your head, and also knock down an opponent whwn they have to.>
If all else fails (words before fists, right?) I hope he can handle himself.
If he must defend himself, and someone (not him) looks like they've had a close encounter with his fists, I saw nothing.
I hope for both of them, their background will serve them well. In any case they will support one another and their love will see them through this. It's exactly why they are enlisting as companions.
This is no easy journey, for these young men (all seven of them) or for their families, their friends, and their loved ones. Yes, it's reality of life for every person in Korea, but that doesn't make it easier when it's YOU or YOUR person who is going away.
I am seeing them off with an in ache in my chest - I know we all are. But I'm toasting their successful military service, and their quick return.
짠 지민아, 정국이! We love you 💜💛
** 'Hurry up and be me soon' ...
Some of us know how much it costs to put our authentic self out into the world. The sacrifices you have to be willing to make are huge. You're not only exposing your own vulnerabilities, but the flow on effect for your family and friends is real.
<talking specifically about Jimin here... how many times do you think his parents will have to say 'no, Jimin doesnt have a girlfriend, and no he isn't looking for one... No he doesn't plan to marry'.>
It's a long journey to self love and acceptance...
We know Jimin has been through a number of iterations of himself. He's been through the tough guy phase, the closed book, the siren, aloof and sophisticated, and the gently feminine.
The image he presents to the world is as much a construct as any person's is - and whether you're aware of this or not, all our public selves are social constructs.
"One size does not fit all" for queer people
For cis gendered heterosexual people, society has a few different ready-made constructs you can adopt, and the rest of society automatically understands the message you're sending. Most of them maintain the status quo of heterosexual cultural norms.
For anyone who DOESNT fit those norms, it's honestly never going to feel good expressing an image that isnt really you. Its like trying and make your circle self fit in a square box.
But theres nothing else that's readily available...
You really have to construct your public image from scratch.
When you aren't part of that typical demographic, figuring out how you want to be seen by the world can be an arduous and complex process.
How much do you reveal? How much do you risk?
You'll experiment with styles, behaviours, and social groups until you find a safe space you can occupy.
Jimin's safe space is with ARMY or his members, but it requires looking perfect.
Think about Jimin's hesitance to appear on camera without makeup. How carefully he chooses his clothes - whether for airport appearances, stage performance or out on the street. He usually has a team of people making sure he looks perfect. His hair is a trademark feature. It's always beautiful.
Remember that he's used to EVERYONE LOOKING AT HIM, ALL THE TIME.
Imagine how it feels to go out in public - against your will - with a shaved head.
Without hair, he would have surely felt naked. Plus, he's no longer in the safe embrace of ARMY, and his buffer of security and managers keeping him out of danger is gone.
He's immensely famous, but not universally loved (don't even go there) and bald, and small, and an IDOL, and very gay ... lets go with very unlikely to be heterosexual.
No wonder he was feeling vulnerable.
Ngl, it broke my heart to see him so afraid but I'm sure he'll have a substantial group of supporters around him. I can only hope.
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