
if i look back, i am lost
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@milesuntildawn
my guy. my mouse. my fucking energizer bunny just scored a hat trick in the playoffs and is now the highest playoff scorer in the entire NHL. I have rooted for this man since he was a wee baby and I have never once doubted him. never once.
also the copium of saying it weighs less cuz it was against the ducks?? if some leafs fans are allowed to hold every bad series over his head forever, then they don’t also get to disqualify every good game the second it complicates the story they wanted to tell about him.
astounding game 6 performance from this infamous dry hair guy
I was raised on suits & hannibal yaoi which should tell you about the kind of person I am
yessss hey bro let's sip mimosas and talk about jane austen (there is no way they're reading jane austen). let's giggle over stacks of pancakes and omelettes and maybe try this new cinnamon pumpkin muffin I made bro. oh I only brought two though toff so. uhhhh. sorry. wenny you want this wrapper? there's still crumbs on it? *props chin on hand* anyway mack what were you saying about the first page?
i don't mean to ramble so much lately but like willmack has been giving me no choice. they're forcing my hand. it's THEIR fault.
leafs uncs need to die
there’s something so tender about the way will and mack talk about each other in interviews. not even just what they say and how down bad they look (esp you will), but what happens to their faces while they’re saying it, like the petals of a flower unfurling.
it’s that subtle softening that gets me every time. for a second the cameras disappears and all that’s left is this quiet involuntary fondness. this person exists, and i know them so well, and i am changed by knowing them. and we get to witness them realize that every time.
and i think that’s one of the most beautiful things in the world, to have someone who becomes the place your thoughts return to without being told. someone whose existence pulls you into a safer orbit. and you're matched by them and you're in awe of their skills and they make you better and they make you a little annoyed at times but fuck do you love being around them.
like no wonder their faces do that!!! no wonder they look softer. some people really do become a kind of home for each other, and even when they’re only speaking in passing, even in the most casual little interview answer, you can see them turning toward that warmth as naturally as a sunflower turns toward the light. becuase damn right, that's my person.
oh god. so many parallels I could make with the composition of this picture. not matched images but balanced forces. yin and yang; the moon and its tide; a comet and its orbit fated into balance.
so many amazing comments on pele's hair that I think this fic deserves another post!
i’ve been thinking a lot about why i wanted to call this fic "pele’s hair" For anyone who doesn’t know, pele’s hair is a real volcanic phenomenon. These are long, fine strands of volcanic glass that form when molten lava gets stretched and pulled by the wind. It's beautiful, delicate-looking, almost hairlike (hence its name), but it’s also literally spun out of heat and violence. it comes from eruption. and if you touch it, it can hurt you. if you breath it in, it can cut up your lungs and your throat.
i kept coming back to heat as a motif. Mack burning up in basically most of the fic; hunger as both bodily emergency and desire; the sense that he is becoming more vivid, more incandescent, more alive precisely as he is crossing into something inhuman. and then on will’s side, the heat of being chosen, of being wanted with that kind of total and frightening focus, of realizing that his own desire is not cleanly separable from the monstrosity in front of him. it isn’t just mack is wrong, it’s also will is recognizing parts of himself through that wrongness.
that’s where the volcano stuff came from too. not just “fire = passion,” which is too easy, but the idea of pressure and something building underground for a long time before it finally ruptures. i wanted their desire to feel geological. not newly invented, but long-buried. ancient. dangerous. inevitable. hence a lot of references back to the predator/prey instincts way back when. so much of the fic is basically about attempts at and failure of containment, the body failing to contain hunger, the self failing to contain want.
and as for Jennifer’s Body being inspiration, I’m really interested in monstrosity not as a theme or subject, but as a scalpel, something that reveals and distorts and releases what was already latent there. Appetite, trauma, repression, longing, power. in this fic, mack’s transformation makes him more dangerous, obviously, but it also creates the conditions under which will can no longer keep himself at a safe emotional remove. it gives shape to a desire he’s spent a long time refusing to name. which is tragic to me, because it means that in this world their desire doesn’t get to arrive “normally.” it comes braided up with blood and fear and body horror and hunger. monstrosity is almost the price of entry.
and that’s what i liked so much about pele’s hair as a title: something lovely looking and lethal, filament-thin and born of eruption, something that looks soft until it’s in your torn-up hands and you realize. oh shit, I'm bleeding.
the schrodinger's willmack podcast is driving me a bit insane with its casual intimacy. the sheer ordinary romance. it is so stupidly mundane. it’s the possibility of them hunched over cat’s computer together, shoulder to shoulder, arguing over her password, smacking each other on the arm like “move, you’re doing it wrong!!" If they were tinkering with the Riverside software, giggling at the other, quipping “why do you sound like that? just talk normally” and then dissolving into laughter before they can even record anything (that is if they even find the recording button). I can turn a recording studio/room into an adventure, a fun quest if it's with you. someday we're gonna run it back. someday we'll arrive at a future grand and strange and distant and still find, waiting for us there, something that looks gently, impossibly, like our past.
Would you rather be a baby goat or a matter baby?
not to self: *stop writing notes to myself*
Pele's Hair by FromMyBalcony
12k, oneshot, explicit.
Inspired by Jennifer's Body (with a healthy dash of Hannibal). Mack gets possessed by the hockey gods. Codependency. Obsessive behavior. blood (!!). psycho4psycho. proceed at your own caution & do not attempt at home!
Mack licks at the cut again, more slowly this time, almost catlike in the dazed motion. The tip of his tongue traces the heel of Will’s palm with obscene care. His thumb presses once to the inside of Will’s wrist where his radial pulse jumps wildly under the skin, tender even in his overwhelming hunger.
For the fact that Mack had rather tied himself to a towel bar. For the way he barely eats now. For the red imprint on his wrist, For how he looked with his face buried in his hands, all the pride knocked out of him. For the possibility that whatever is happening to him is permanent, a snake shedding his skin, an irreversible metamorphosis. It feels to Will as though Mack is carrying around an interior ruin that no one else can see, only sense the boundary of, the way you can stand at the lip of a sinkhole in the dark and hear the earth crumbling beneath you.
i love sharks hockey it's ruining my life
this fic has been in the works since January (incubating in my brain). i'm posting it soon so I can finally say something about this. mack gets possessed by the hockey gods and doing some very questionable things.
Will: You're killing people.
Mack: No, I'm killing NHL players!!!