Issues from a Fatty Patty.

I have an obsession with my weight. Mia is my companion, my consoler. I am somewhat gloomy. Predominantly created to record my daily intake. I would love to follow you all, who seemed to unknowingly located my blog; but unfortunately this is my secondary blog and it wouldn't let me! I sincerely apologize, xo. Cheers.

[hungaryburger]

9.3.13

46.8kg

158cm

I love being fat, don't I

[hungaryburger]

50.06

[hungaryburger]

Fuck I've been on 52.2 for a while

Where da pills be at.. -___-

[hungaryburger]

Not making much progress :(

51 

[hungaryburger]

Why am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingWhy am I gainingv crey cry cry cry fucking nooooo 

[hungaryburger]

Sunday: 12/12/11

Breakfast:

- Subway salad (chicken fillet)

- Vanilla scented tea with milk and sugar

Lunch:

- Ceasar salad (w/ dressing), no bacon

Dinner:

- White chocolate w/ truffle balls (Max Brenner)

- Binge on pastas <<<< purged

- 2 pieces of watermelon

- A few strawberries 

[hungaryburger]

Friday: 9/11/11

Lunch:

- Fruit

- Green tea

Dinner:

- BBQ salad

- 1/2 nem on the stick

- 2 bites of a birthday cake

- Some Asian banh thing ..

[hungaryburger]

50.4-8kg

[hungaryburger]

Thursday: 9/12/11

Breakfast:

- Fruit salad

- Green tea

Lunch:

- Small passionberry smoothie at Elle's

- Mini vegetarian burger at Breadtop

Dinner:

- Glass bottle of V

- Mini prawn burger at Breadtop

[hungaryburger]

Reached my year 7 weight

51

6 more kg

Originally I wanted to head down to 47

But then I didn't feel that it'd be good enough

okay.

[hungaryburger]

Monday: 5/12/11

Breakfast:

- Tuna salad

- Green tea

- Regular soy latte with 2.5 sugars (sigh)

Lunch:

- Calamari salad 

Dinner:

- Vietnamese coleslaw 

Snacks:

- Banana

[hungaryburger]

Saturday: 3/12/11

Breakfast:

- Salmon salad (fatty vs)

- A bit of fruit, I think

Drinks:

- Green tea

- Sips of banana bash smoothie 

Lunch:

- Part of 1/2 low fat chicken and avocado + mustard chicken pasta

Dinner:

- The other half of the pasta/salad thing 

[hungaryburger]

Friday: 2/12/11

Breakfast:

- Several Peanut M&Ms

- Rockmelon, honeydew and watermelon

Lunch:

- Pork and prawn colesaw 

- Vietnamese rainbow drink

- Green tea

Snacks:

- Nectarine 

- Pistachios 

[hungaryburger]

Saturday: 26/11/11

Breakfast:

- Smoked salmon salad ( fat version lol )

- Green tea

- Mangoes, watermelon and honey dew

Lunch:

- Lollies...

Snacks:

- Lollies

- 3 cashews lol after finding out they're soo fat (I already knew but didn't know that much =[)

Dinner:

- Pumpkin, slice of lamb, 1 piece of bread, salad, square of lasagne (omg it was @ a birthday party ok) 

- Watermelon, an apple and honey dew

- Green tea

_ 

I HAVE NOT BEEN LOSING WEIGHT. It's been the fucking same shit all the time..

 This clearly means I have lost motivation and shit.. ugh. I  noeed motivation all over again to lose another 7 kg fuck my life cuz it's so hard and I'm so angry nothing's working for me... 

[hungaryburger]

Tuesday: 22/11/11

Breakfast: - Ultraslim choc milkshake

- Green tea

Recess:

- Lollies lol

Lunch:

- Small skewer baguette

- Few chips

Binged:

- Stir fried seafood pieces

- Cheezles (~6 cheezles)

- Fruit (grapes, watermelon, strawberries)

Dinner:

- Ultraslim choc shake (why -_-)

- HOmemade OJ w/ honey from ma mommaaaa

[hungaryburger]

Monday: 22/11/11

Breakfast: - Salmon salad

- Green tea

- Fruits

Lunch:

- Pasta salad and pumpkin and chickpeas

- Small red milk tea with pearls

Dinner:

- Apple

- Green tea

- 2 biscuits :(

- Pieces of other fruits 

[hungaryburger]

I hate how my body weight flactuates so often.

I hate how I haven't been progressing.

I hate how I'm still so ugly and fat.

I hate myself and I'm pleading for help.

I need somebody to save me, stop me from purging consecutively.

"Oh, it's okay... I'll vomit it out later."

Oh god I spend hours in the bathroom purging and cutting myself.

I'm so done with it I hate myself. I hate it and all I can think of is a way to end life so I don't have to deal with it.

I don't know what to do. I want to break down, cry because I'm so ugly and fat.

How I'll never be skinny, how I'll never be pretty or thin or nice or have a nice figure.

I haATE THIS I hate myself I'm so done. FAT FAT FAT it's disgusting. I'm so feral.

UGLY fat FAT ugly DISGUSTING. HATRED.

That's all there is in me. Oh, nothing except fat in me because my fat seems to clog everything up. 

I hate how my family can't see I'm always purging. I hate how they make me even more self conscious. I hate how they still try to shove food in despite me trying to be serious without telling them I voluntarily vomit the food that comes in.

My sister won't see it. She won't see that what she tries to put in me will come out.

My brother won't understand that I want to be thin.

My mom's face is so much brighter after I lost weight. Now, I want her face to shine. So I have to be very thin.

I WANT TO BE THIN. WHY'S IT SO HARD.