▶ YUMIL.
“ you still look down ” is something i’ve been hearing a lot lately. she says it as if i don’t know what it means. i do, for the record, but it’s hard not to “ look down ” when there’s a town full of people who think me a traitor, and i don’t have the book that’s supposed to herald the new coming world. it feels weird to be empty-handed. it feels wrong not to hear a few quips from spirits by now. i wonder what they’d even say about lauca…
look at those ears!! she’s kinda overbearing… mm, that necklace is pretty neat though.
maybe. i don’t know. i didn’t know i missed it until just now, i would’ve paid more attention. i didn’t know i would ever go without it, so i never anticipated how i should feel. usually i’m better with words ( or at least i should be, that’s kind of important given what is asked of me ) but i can’t quite describe it. it’s strange, obviously, but there’s something weirdly familiar about it. i guess this quiet was just how things used to be. back then i was used to it. ah, it’s kinda sad to think back on that now… but that isn’t the only thing that feels familiar. lauca checks in, asks how i’m feeling, if i need anything. it’s nice of her. she doesn’t have to, really.
‘ no, i’m just… not that hungry. sorry. ’
fana. i feel like fana. left in bed, helpless, just trying to get better. that’s why it felt familiar, but also why i didn’t realize it. it’s reversed now. i wonder if she’s okay. she’s not – i saw it happen before my very eyes – she was swept away. but i.. i just i want her to be okay. i guess i really do feel down, if not before then definitely now. i fidget with the tassels on my jacket and strain a smile. it’s humbling, in all honesty, i always knew fana was strong, but it takes a completely different kind of strength to cope with this.
‘ i’ll be better soon, i think. i just don’t really know what to do with myself… ’
[ ✎ ]
YOU DON’T DWELL ON HIS WORDS FOR TOO LONG, instead, what takes over is a sort of reflex. Instinct. Your fist is balled up and soon enough it’s raised, next thing you know it knocks against the top of his head. You didn’t notice before, but your brow is creased. Your teeth are gritted. You’re scarcely growling.
“ One for lying. ” As if that means anything to him. There’s a pause, your fist still hanging above him. You bring it down. In quick succession, it hits him again. Once, twice. “ Two for telling the truth. ”
A huff. You could stare holes into him if you really wanted to. But you don’t, for better or for worse. You have provided him a place to stay until he gets better. You intend to stick to your word, but it is best to understand you have your own set of rules to abide by.
“ You are hungry. Tell Lauca what you’d rather eat, she’ll get it for you. ”
You hope the sharpness of your glare is enough to coerce him into speaking the truth more often. He needn’t brush it off in favor of not hurting your feelings. You know people have different tastes, you’re not stupid. He can like and dislike whatever he pleases, you just hope he knows now that you dislike lying most of all.
“ But you will be better soon, because Lauca is taking care of you. ” A fact. It is indisputable. “ So let Lauca, okay? ”
