Powergoth girls
Process video!
dirt enthusiast

ellievsbear

tannertan36

titsay

#extradirty
Claire Keane
Today's Document
wallacepolsom
AnasAbdin
Peter Solarz
Keni

blake kathryn

No title available

Love Begins
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle

★

izzy's playlists!

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@hurricaneandharbor
Powergoth girls
Process video!
The Boy: How do you sleep all through the night and still be tired enough to take a 3 hour nap???
Me: It’s called having depression.
pa.osesame on Instagram
Link ~~~
Me after another person on FB gets pregnant and feels the need to clog my feed with 80 maternity and growing baby bump photos: *unfollowed*
Peace ensues 😌
🤷🏼♀️
I don’t have any other outlet to get to shout about it, so here’s a post about me being excited that I finally got my nipples pierced this past weekend like I have been wanting for years 😭❤️
“The time of hot chocolaty mornings and toasty marshmallow evenings.”
Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin (1997) dir. Karl Geurs
Look, a meme I made.
Me: stress buys lingerie because life is garbage rn
Me on the phone with a customer at work:
*screaming children in background, noises of stuff being knocked over*
Customer: Don’t ever have kids
Me: Thanks I don’t plan to.
Holy fuck. 😖
no fucking way
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
If this is your first time seeing the Salt & Pepper Diner story, I envy you. Sometimes I wish I could hear it again for the first time.
We've never talked but I think I've followed you for years. If tumblr screws us, hope you have a good time. I've always really liked your tumblr and posts ~
Thank you kind anon! All the best wishes to you as well! c:
Sometimes I think about this anon and wonder where they are now 🤔