Well, there are several reasons that I got from my intuition that he is definitely an INTP. Yet, don’t come at me for my uncomperhensive reasonings as I’m not as descriptive and organized at vocalizing my thoughts as an INTJ would do.
Okay so, one thing we can see is his style of humor. It’s a humor that doesn’t hurt anybody, a fresh kind that doesn’t really related to anybody but still crack us up. it’s very pure and it reminds me of socrates funny quotes “Falling down is not a failure, Failure comes when you stay where you are fallen” It’s something that is so obvious that makes me go, “yeah of course duh, jeez lord it is what it is, like if you keep staying in your fallen position, it means you’re not getting up, and of course that means a failure because you don’t get up”
see what I mean? It comes from a pure minded soul. (I’m not saying a pure hearted soul, mind you..)
It is just what it is like another quote from socrates “the true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.” Like… duh, yes, also no, but in a way it is still a definite yes.
And it also happens that Socrates is Changkyun’s favorite philosopher, he’s even recommending a book titled, “Negotiating with Socrates” and one of his slogan is “I am what I am.”
Okay that’s just me connecting the dots but you see I have preference for anything that has a pattern.
And then there is his spontaneity and wittiness with a comeback or remarks at his member’s words. Always have something to say at a split second and what come out of that mouth is something clever or funny that doesn’t relate anything to anyone. It means he has a high functioning Ti as what comes to his mind is purely an information. He display empathy toward others but always followed by a reasonings of being a good man. It’s different than Wonho’s empathy which you can see is very focused on the person he is helping. Changkyun is the least to be seen protecting his member when one of them is being bullied. he kinda enjoy the teasing because teasing has a form of creativity to it and it might bring pleasure to his mind. Or it is just his introvertedness in play because he doesn’t adopt anybody like an extrovert do.
and then talking about creativity there is Ne in him. Spontaneity, wittiness, unconventional, and possibilities are what come in mind when we talk about Ne. I think it is self-explanatory that we could see those traits in him. He ever said to write lyrics in the pov of withering flower. I think that comes up spontaneously in his mind the possibilities of how a dying flower will look at a human.
Then tertiary Si, which usually is connected to how someone is very proud of his upbringing, his background. Changkyun always bring his upbringing in the way he interpreted himself. Like his mother is more emotional and his father is more rational, which one he is more likely to be. I don’t have Si, so I’m not very proud of where I come from let alone thinking how it will influenced me because I didn’t record that sensation of belonging in a culture to be one of their tribe. As an Se user I’m more about feeling the sensation a culture bring to me if it pleasure my senses or not, unlike him who think it will influenced his well being.
Lastly, inferior Fe. He does have empathy for others and not thinking about how it will felt for himself like an Fi user will be. Since it is an inferior function it doesn’t show well or enough for people to see and categorize him as someone with empathy. Although it shows in how he takes care of his members, how he doesn’t insult them, how he is thoughtful about their feelings. We can see the difference from Fi user, I think he even consider his own feeling might affect his physical world or his members, rather than having confidence in his own feeling and not budging about it. The only time we see he is not budging is about his opinion and preference. Because that’s Ti for you, we have an internalized system about why we believe that something could be true.
“And this…” I said as I opened the main door, “…is the library.”
I had promised Killua to bring him to one of my favorite place in the Palace. The library. It had so many potential of knowledge that I could ever wish for. It was a magical place. Sacred as I said. A place where information, knowledge, culture, and intelligence came into one place. My kind of place.
As the door opened, it showed a vast room surrounded by cupboards of books that were towering to the ceiling. Computers were lining on the tables. We walked in to one of the long tables in the middle of the room and sat in front of each other there to open some books on the table just to see what it contained.
“Navigations, interesting…” Killua remarked.
“Do you want to set sail someday?” I said to him.
“Where?”
“Kujira Island. That’s our next potential market.”
“If I don’t have a job at the time.”
“Deal.”
There was a knocking at the door.
I said to it to come in and it showed two maids bringing us a tray of drinks. It was lemon squash. Perfect for this blazing of a noon. They walked in to our table and started putting down the drinks each to our own seat on the table. I was waiting for them to asked permission to withdraw themselves but they just stood there.
“Okay, thank you both of you. You can leave,” I finally said.
Only then they realized the cue, and walked out the door to leave the room. My goodness, I realized one of the maid was new but did they really expect me to drink in front of them? And then what, give them a review of the drinks?
“Lemon squash, huh? Not bad,” I saw Killua was downing the glass in a flash and I just looked at him. The weather must be getting into him. Then, he let out a sound of relieve before putting down his glass. But he suddenly said,
“You’re really a good girl.”
I didn’t understand what happen but I was no short of answer, “Judging people doesn’t suit you.”
“Good move, watching me drink it first. Don’t drink it.”
That was when I had a bad feeling in my stomach. There must be something in the drink for Killua to warn me like that. Before I knew it, the door flung open and showed a woman in maid clothes crash in to room with a pistol in her hand. After rolling down to take cover for herself, a bullet was already in my projactory. I didn’t know which one she did first, shooting the bullet or took cover, and I didn’t have time to think of it.
BAM.
My chair was crashing the floor hard with Killua on top of me.
He saved me from the bullet.
Flipping my chair to face the other way of the shooter, I had no idea what happened next but in what felt like a second, a shriek was let out of the woman. Followed by a sound of a crashing metal. Then, Killua called me to come out.
I tried to get up from a side position, and move away my chair. I walked up to where the two of them were to see the woman was down on the floor with Killua’s hand pointing at her, there were claws out of his hand and the other hand held her down on the shoulder. There was a line of blood coming from her neck.
“Do you know who’s this woman?” Killua asked me.
“Not yet, she only shows up twice. Once as my bath maid yesterday, and now here,” I crouched down to her eye-level and asked her, “I thought you’re just new, but my bath maids were only bath maid. That makes you out of place in the even in the maid group. Who are you?”
She looked so angry at me and barked loud, “You filthy rich palace people!”
I frowned at that, “why are you so angry at me?”
“Do you know how many people are hungry outside of your palace?!”
“What? There are hungry people?”
“You don’t even know your people and you call yourself a Ruler?!”
“Because there is no way, our kingdom is very developed, and there have been many shelters for the homeless to have free meals. Are you sure you are my people?”
“What? No way! I see it with my own eyes, these people are starving, lack of food everyday, including me!”
I frowned harder at that. What was this impossibility I never imagine in my whole life of witnessing my kingdom prospering every single day? Who in the hell is this woman? Who and what brings her here? The only thing that could come up in my mind was brainwashing. There must be a master she served that was brainwashing her into hating this prosperous kingdom. But we could extract more information from her if we could have a civilized discussion.
“So what is your goal, lady? Do you want equality of food share in the kingdom?”
“Yes! Yes that is what I want! But you filthy pigs are too proud to listen to commoner like us.”
“Who do you refer to us?”
“Us people of Valheima.”
This was where I was nervous to ask and my voice cracked a little, “Who do you serve?”
“Master Achlys.”
“This master was brainwashing her, Killua,” I said.
“What did you say?!” She exclaimed.
“This is not a gaslight but I asure you, you’re brainwashed. I don’t know how he did it, but he planted seed of distrust to the kingdom to you. If it was my people and I ask them who do you serve, they will say King Kiehlzen Snofrid. The fact that you didn’t say that, was proof enough you’re not my people.”
“Heh,” she chuckled. Then, she laughed before saying, “It’s true what Master Achlys said to us. It’s because you don’t see us Valheima as one of your people. That’s why you makes us your scapegoat. And don’t even try to deny it anymore, because…”
“Because…”
“Because your sacrifice will be the better for the people.”
“What sacrifice…?”
She chuckled low, and then looked sinister at me with a smirk, “Our God will bring grace to us. With you as a sacrifice. Then Our God will possess Master Achlys as medium to rule this good-for-nothing forsaken kingdom and finally our people will be prosperous.”
“What are you talking about? God?”
“There’s no God in this world,” Killua said.
“THERE IS! Our God Kaicillius is ruler of the other world. With the sacrifice of the princess, we will bring Him here and finally He become the ruler of the two world.”
I shook my head and stood up before her, “I’m sorry, lady, if the God is the ruler of the other world it must stay there. To keep balance of the two world, The God shouldn’t rule the two, or the two world will collide.”
“What? NO!”
“Yes it’s true. And your master lie to you,” Killua added.
“If the God was real, what I said is the truth,” I continued.
“What?!” the lady looked at both us one after the other.
“You never read, don’t you, only have the teaching of your master?”
“Wh-what—” She trembled as she spoke. Bingo.
“Your master teaching is a lie,” Killua said, still pointing his hand on her neck.
“NO!” she yelled, her pupils followed in Killua’s direction. Oh no, I have a bad feeling about this scream. Looked like she’s about to lose it.
“It could be your master teaching is a mistake. But you need to see the broader light of this matter too decide for yourself whether your master is right or wrong.”
“Your master is not teaching the truth, nor even guiding you ine the right light,” Killua continue.
“SHUT UP! MY MASTER IS TEACHING THE TRUTH. HE IS THE LIGHT THAT’S NEVER SHED UPON PEOPLE LIKE US.”
“It might not be. Look, there’s always two side of the story,” I started.
“Your.master.is.a.liar,” and Killua ended it.
“SHUT U—” the lady forced herself to face Killua behind her and her neck was crashing hard into his claws, causing so much blood splattered from her neck and into the floor. Watching that at point blank, I was so shocked and my eyes could only follow the movement of the blood from her neck down.
“MIEL!”
All of a sudden, a familiar voice called my name from the outside. I knew whose it was. It was Akira’s voice. My childhood friend, the son of our field Marshal. He was calling my name. But I couldn’t bring myself to looked at him. I slowly turned my head to the left to looked at him, only to find him looking as horrified to the scene before him. He frowned. He was making up his mind, I didn’t know what it was, but he made up his mind. He run towards me directly and grab my hand, “Are you okay?”
And then he looked at Killua, “who are you?” while pointing his sword at him.
I was still out of it, didn’t know what to answer. Akira then grabbed my shoulder and escorted me out of the room. In the hallway, I was tripping over something that after I looked at it better, was the other maid, unconscious on the floor. Is she dead too?
I couldn’t think more of it. Akira was helping me to be out of it and he kept asking if I was okay, and now and then looked back at what was behind him, but I knew nothing followed. The picture of the lady’s neck and his claws running into it was still in my mind.
That’s how easily Killua could kill a person.
It wasn’t even anybody’s fault that the tragedy happened. It was an accident. There was just a sharp and strong hold near her neck and she snapped into it. That was what happen.
Killua didn’t kill, Killua…was only pointing his claws to protect me.
“How could you be with a killer and I didn’t know,” Akira started, “I’m sorry, I’m still in training when I heard a shot and I was looking for you,” he rubbed my forearms as if assuring me I was now in the safe place, “How could you be in one room with an assassin?”
“Huh? You mean the lady?”
“No. The boy. Poor maid, she died protecting you.”
I warded his hands off my shoulders, “Killua was not killing her. And she is the assassin.”
He looked confused at first and then sighed, “So, the name is Killua.”
“I told you she is the assassin.”
“Okay, okay, I heard you,” he saw me with a questionable look on his face. As if he was afraid to take an action.
I quickly grab his hand and run back to the library, “we have to head back, we shouldn’t leave Killua alone.”
“Wait wait wait,” Akira grabbed me on the shoulder, “It’s too dangerous out there, the other assassin might still be around. I’ll bring you back to your room first. Make sure to stay there.”
“But, what about Killua?”
“I’ll handle it. I’ll handle everything,” he assured me.
“Okay…” I was half-convinced, “but make sure he comes to my room after.”
“What?”
“What?”
“He is still covered in blood. I can’t send him to your room.”
“I don’t care, I need him in my room!”
Akira’s grip on my shoulder was limping. He was so shocked at my remarks. A wave of guilt wash over me and my eyes were wide open after the revelation, “I’m so sorry…Akira, I didn’t mean to scream at you.”
Akira was not looking at me anymore, he was walking away toward the direction of the library.
I was fidgeting in my room. My knee wouldn’t stop moving as I sat down in the corner of my bed. I was repeatedly standing up and sitting down again, waiting for my door to open up and showed the two boys. When would they come?
Akira told me to stay in my room but I occasionally checked outside, hoping if they already came.
Finally, when I was looking out at the window, the door was knocked. It must be them. The opened door showed two young gentlemen in their prime youth, one looking fresh, and one looking worried. Guess who’s who?
Killua was the first to enter my room. He called my name and I did too. I called Akira’s after. He was running preceded Killua and hold my hands again, for several times today, “I’ve handled everything. I called the guard to take care of the victim’s body and the maid to clean up the mess. While I let Killua take a shower, I give report directly to the Majesty. And now I bring him in to your room as you asked,” Akira said. He was always the responsible and reliable one.
“Thank you,” releasing one hand, I stroke his cheek softly, and smiled at him “You’ve done a good job.”
“Miel,” Killua said, “It’s dangerous here,” his eyes were directed towards me, “that’s only one assassin, we don’t know how many had infiltrated the Palace. But looking at her strength, I can handle them on my own, and just so you know, I did provoke her to tell more, but I was meant to take her a prisoner at first. Because then we can discuss about this matter further with your family.”
I released my hands and walked towards him, “yeah, I know you didn’t mean to kill. It was an accident.”
“Liar,” Akira replied, “you’re a pathological liar, Killua.”
“Akira, what do you mean?”
“He knows what his action will cost, but he still did it anyway. Because looking at how easy he can kill people, satisfy him.”
“Maybe you want to see for yourself, how easy it can be?” Killua provoked.
“Wait, hold on, both of you,” I half-screamed, “This is not the time to fight each others, we need to unite, the kingdom is going to be under attack.”
“You mean, you?” Killua probed, “You’re the only one who is going to be sacrificed by that group Valhemia—or something.”
“I knew you are a traitor,” Akira jumped in the front of me, “If you don’t want to protect her, you can leave, now.”
“I’m just saying the truth,” Killua defended.
“No, Killua, it’s not just me, also after the sacrifice succeed, they’re going to take over the Palace in the name of making a new order to feed the people. If. Because the original plan might not work at all, even if I die in their hands, they might not make it to overthrow the kingdom.”
“That’s what I mean by, you,” Killua sighed, “Their God is only a myth, you’ll just die for nothing. And after that maid died, they’re not gonna have any new information about you, but they’ll send in new assassin. Looking at how weak she is but so strong of believe, she didn’t get much training. But what about the guards in this place, easily fooled by a weakling like that? I suggest, it’s gonna be easier to just restrict any new maid or guards to minimalize new people coming in the Palace. Not to mention if there are traitor in the Palace. And it might be better for you to not get out of your room much or stay somewhere that group didn’t know.”
I was stunned at his explanation. All I could say was, “You plan all that?”
“No! it was a course of action but you can analyze it and make conclusion for it.”
I was stunned again for awhile, “Killua might be the smartest one here,” I said to Akira. But, he just clicked his tongue.
Then in the evening, announcement called for us to gather in the Court Room. I expected lieutenant and commander were going to be present as well. It was still undecided if the threat was only going on me or the entire kingdom.
When I walked in to the room, every seat has been filled. Akira was taking Killua to sit beside him but I suggested both of them stand behind my chair, as Killua was a guest important enough to see this discussion as I had seen it with my own eyes of his potential. Akira was my right-hand man always ready to protect me as his loyalty to the Royal Family, they deserved to had better view of this discussion. Sitting in my chair with both Akira and Killua behind me, I felt assured to join this forum.
As The forum was lead by the field Marshal, Father opened the discussion and some lieutenant would answer after him.
“This is not the first time, a Royal Family has been the target of assassination, but this, is the first time we heard of a case, where they would be sacrificed to call a God,” Father said. A murmur happening in the room, and as I heard, they were murmuring about the said God, as it had been established in the kingdom that we didn’t believe in God. “One of our Princesses, Mjollyra, has been under attack this afternoon by an assassin who infiltrate the Palace as a maid. I want to question the Head of Guards for the responsibility.”
Grade, the Head of Guards finally spoke up. He said he was terribly sorry about the incident that happen this afternoon as it was his duty to protect in the entire Palace. He would be ready to serve any punishment the King would see fit. Father said he forgave him, as I thought, as it was known well our firewall protection was top notch but the guards were not so much. Father said to work up the guards and would hold a new training from a special unit of the army to strengthen and increase the intelligent of the guards.
Continuing the forum, Father asked, “Is there any of you familiar with Valheima and their people?”
One of the commander answered, Valheima was an exile town, outside of Kingdom of Adonis, but it has been used to dispose of any trashes by some Kingdoms and Republics, and Adonis was one of them. From here on, we knew where the rage comes from. Father was visibly distressed about the situation, Mothers were worrying as well, but Mihael said it was not our responsibility once it was out of our kingdom reign, logically speaking. Father still felt it was part of the kingdom responsibility as the town was still of use to it. Because there was no symbiosis mutualism of this relationship with the exile town. Mihael still proceed with his idea that there was no relationship at all in the beginning so it shouldn’t be our worry. Franklin, Illumi and Fjolla were just observants, no comments from them as they were waiting for more information to be fold.
My Mom, Fondriffa Snofrid, would like to ask me, “How about Miel whom has been attacked this afternoon? What do you think about them?”
This was the perfect chance to tell them about the assassin, “I think of them as one of the lost and discarded. I sympathize with their privation and hunger as the assassin has told me. Seems to me, they just want their people to be as prosperous as our kingdom’s and they need salvation. But their way of needing it is wrong, sacrificing someone was never the answer,” then it came into my mind, “The sacrificed could be not only me, but my sister and other family as well. The Royal Family could be in danger, so, I ask for no new employee at the moment to prevent infiltration and have all the guards and maid to be checked of their identity. I don’t want any more casualty happening in the Palace. It has been rough this afternoon seeing death in front of my eyes, but I was lucky I could escape it.”
Akira then added, “And it was thanks to our guest, Killua, who have killed the assassin in the name of protecting our Princess, Mjollyra,” and then he clapped.
The whole room was also clapping, following after him, with more murmurs about it, but it was murmur of appreciation towards Killua. At first, I thought Akira had not been enjoying Killua’s presence here, but turned out he was rather appreciative of him. My parents were looking glad at this announcement. I looked at Killua to see his expression. He was rather flustered by it, hahaha, in the middle of something serious like this I could still get a humor from him. I bet he didn’t see that coming.
Hell, even I didn’t see that coming from miles away. Akira was kinda surprising sometimes.
Killua would be a star in the kingdom after tonight.
We proceed to strategies for overcoming this incident. First, tonight we talked about strengthening the security in the Palace, next forum was to whether we’d be contacting the nearest Kingdom and Republic who also has been using the exile town as well. Every commander and lieutenant was asked to lend an idea. After any ideas, Akira was the one completing them and sometimes he asked for Killua’s assistance. Not to my surprise, Killua was also an idea bank about maintaining the regulation and crafty ideas to detect if someone was suspicious as an assassin. Maybe, it was because he himself was one assassin, he knew what was inside one’s brain and found out exactly what they were thinking.
He's certainly gonna be a star after tonight.
The forum ended with everyone withdrawing from the room. Akira was holding my hand after I got up, and said, “I’ll sleep with you tonight.”
Perplexed by his announcement, I just blinked. I looked at Killua to find approval or rejection, but he just walked away. A scowl came into by my eyebrows, I was not happy being treated this way. I said to Akira I was okay and didn’t need that much coddle, and I walked away.
“I know you must be afraid after all that happened today. You need to have me in your room tonight. We used to sleep together and I can protect you. I do it all the time.”
“No, I am not afraid. I also don’t need that much protection. If you want to protect me you can do it outside.”
He was stunned after my answer, “You’re not afraid? You’re supposed to.”
“Well, I am not.”
“Man, don’t tell her what to and not to do,” Killua interrupted. Where the hell had you been all this time? “Hhh, I was gonna walk away to let you two settle it by yourself, but I guess I can’t let a girl be forced to sleep with by a man. I suggest you wait by the door and guard it all night long.”
“Stop playing the peacemaker, Killua. If you were me, you will do the same.”
“Not without her consent.”
Now we’re talking. It’s true I used to be scared, overthinking, anxious, and paranoid years ago, but I was not that little helpless girl anymore. I had followed routines of training to strengthen my mental and body, followed courses of meditation and taking medication, to control my mind better.
“I am okay, I’ll call you if I need something,” I said to Akira.
Akira then agreed, he would be on my doorstep the minute I asked for him. Killua went back to his room, he could handle things by himself if something happened, and hopefully there was no more assassination tonight.
It has been three days of Killua and Illumi stayed in the Palace. On the fourth day, it was a good-bye day. Fortunately, there was no accident nor assassination in the third day, as with Killua’s help too we strengthened our fortress. I wouldn’t forget him and the days we spent together. It was so much fun colliding thoughts with him. For three days, we spent so much time just talking about ourselves and of course there was an action genre that happened in day two.
“I hope you’ll be okay,” he said.
It's time. Killua would be going home.
I was running in the hallway bringing a little story book. Before we bid good-bye, I told them to wait because I wanted to give Killua a souvenir so that he would remember me in the time we did not meet. The book was about someone who try to live out the ordinary and achieved bigger goal. I thought it represented us well, me who wanted to broaden my horizon outside of being a royalty in this kingdom, and Killua as a wish for him to find his goal in life. I was sure he could do it.
I gave out the book to him, “Save it. It’s yours now.”
He flipped the book upside down, paying attention to every crook and nook, “why a dirty book for me,” he smiled, warmly, “do you read this often?”
“One of my favorite. You’re gonna like it.”
“I like that confidence,” he said flipping through the pages, “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
It was a peaceful good-bye. No hard feelings, no tears, but there would forever be a missing.
I was in the airplane to Republic of Padokea, to go home.
Nothing much I could really do in the trip, so it got me curious of the book Miel gave me. The title was ‘Walter Mistry’, sounded like a name. I began to flip it through the first page. It began with the environment the main character lives in, he works ordinary job in the magazine company. He wasn’t really unsatisfied with his job but he also didn’t want a bigger job. Until, someday he found out one of the photograph he organized missing, and then he saw some kind of hallucination of seeing a photograph calling to him.
“Kil—”
The man in the photograph pointed two fingers at him and began to pull them as if telling him to ‘come’.
“Kil!”
“Huh? What’s it Aniki?”
“Is the book really that interesting?” Illu-nii was looking at me in the corner of his eyes.
“Uh, I don’t know, this is just the first chapter.”
“Do you like it so far?”
“Well… it’s not bad. But maybe also not that great. I don’t know.”
“Good. Then, throw it away.”
“Huh?!”
“It’ll be bad if it is distracting you from your mission, or from listening to father and me. I think you must throw it away.”
“This book’s mine now. I do whatever I want with it.”
“You seem to be getting along with Miel, do you think you’re friends with her?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t forget Kil, you shouldn’t be friend with the outside world.”
“Our family was close enough for us to maintain relationship with them. That’s what brought us there.”
“Acquaintance. Also, we’re originally there for a mission and just have a place to sleep for free.”
I closed the book, sighing, “then how about you and her sister?”
“Oh, us? Hahaha, she was trying so hard to be impressed by me, though there’s nothing to be impressed for. So, we made a deal.”
“A deal?”
“Yeah, that as long as I am friendly to her, she will help me with anything I asked for.”
“You’re just using her.”
“Ping-pong. You should do the same. They have many accesses to countries and facilities, using them could be handy.”
I scowled at the thought of that. It’s true I might not consider Miel a friend yet, but it didn’t mean I didn’t want to. My little heart that I never even used, felt a tinge in the deepest part of it. I have known a lot about her, her way of thinking, her preferences, her likes and dislikes.
I don’t want to use her.
.
.
.
It was until the next five years, I never finished the book.
Today as every other day, we’d be having a morning gathering in chamber like workspace. A sort of meeting we do to strengthen our spirit before carrying the schedule of the day. But this was my secret with you all, I—
Didn’t take a bath before this meeting.
Why should I? Girls, we don’t sweat and we don’t smell. No need for a twice a day bath.
I usually only take one before sleeping and that was the best feeling ever before getting to bed.
There it was, my morning bath maids were appearing in my room. But, they already know better that I was not gonna take one. So, while munching my morning biscuits, here I was in front of the mirror, getting my face and hair ready for the meeting. The usual peachy tone on my bright skin and ponytail with a pink bow that match my ribbon on my floral dress. With the final touch of perfume, voila! I was ready.
…And that’s my secret of always being the first one all-ready.
Struding along with a maid to the room, I just need to get through the hallway and find the door to the left. And, there was something that almost made me fell down to my knees. “Good Morning, M’lady.” Mr. Jaime Bernard was there. Safe and sound with no trace of a fight. Were they failed their mission? Why did Mr. Jaime Bernard survive? My thoughts could only trace the incident last night. The awareness of Illumi and Killua’s sharping eyes when Mr. Jaime Bernard passed, should tell much about what was going to happen. Does it mean they were killed by him? I never know Mr. Jaime Bernard was that strong….or…he is not the original target?
Without replying, I was storming towards the room to turn on the TV. I hadn’t watched the news for today and no maid would talk about an assassination in a party held by The Palace. My family would very much going to talk about this incident this morning. By the time I got into the room, no one was there, only the smart home function greeted me. I asked it to turn on the TV and the first channel was already airing the Bloody Halloween last night.
“On 31st October, last night become an unforgettable history. The lively night was followed by an assassination of prime minister Mr. Tobias Strong. The annual Halloween party that was taken place in The Palace was claimed as unsafe and the people was in panic to boycott the next one.”
It’s not Mr. Jaime Bernard. So, it was not as an easy job like I thought it would be.
By the time I figured out the victim, my complete family, came into the room after the butler announced them.
First to come was Father, Kiehlzen Snofrid, the Ruler of Adonis. Followed by three of his wifes, Lucijana Snofrid, Agnesa Snofrid, and Fondriffa Snofrid. After them there was my brothers and sister, Mihael Boris, Franklin Henry, and Fjolla Aleksander.
After everyone was seated in a round manner, we talked about the incident last night and what we would do in the future according to it.
“It’s a serious case that happened last night. For years we’ve been holding the annual party and there’s no such an extreme case like this one,” Mihael said. It was continued by the others who actually can’t stomach a homicide. They were mixed of worry, grief, anxiety of the future about the Palace as it was now a place of murder incident.
“It was such a tragedy, a special occasion, but a murdered decided to come in and ruin it,” Father said. As I recalled last night, Illumi said Father gave them the invitation to enter the party and they were here to assassinate someone as father request, but now he acted as if he was blind about the situation. Is it supposed to be a secret? As if. I’ll try to coax it out from him.
“But how did they enter with the security guard? Posing as the invited by bringing automobile?”
“Whatever the way the enter, they must be pretty skilled,” Father responded. Huh, yeah, no, it’s pretty fucking easy with the letter you gave them. I was racking my brain, to get him slipped it out how he did it and why.
“Whatever it is someone was letting them in. The question is who let them?” I was posing like detective on a case, when I realized something, “There were no casualty between the guard, so they should be let in by the guards, which means,” like a detective who found a truth, my index finger pointed towards the air, “The guard lets them in, and they must have an invitation letter.”
Everyone gasped. Saying OMG and others, they didn’t believe such a thing could happen.
But when they started murmuring to each other, I felt a disconnection between us. They were not focusing on my me or my theory anymore, it was not focusing on anything. There was something off about that…
Shit, they already know. So, the panic was only an act.
“It’s difficult to pin-point who would give them such an invitation letter, if your theory is correct, there are too many parties in our political system who have such power to give them an invitation,” Father try to dodge the elephant in the room.
I was already tired of the pretense. Point being, they all want that guy died, whatever that guy had done.
Then, I opened the discussion of becoming a hunter.
“Being a Hunter is for commoner who don’t have access to most of places and it’s just a lie the association told to larger their company. If you want to do all of that, just dedicate yourself to work in the Palace and do the same to our customer to sign up for membership. It’s practically the same,” Father was not kidding when he said that.
“Some of it could be true but it’s not all the truth. There are hunter who preserve endangered species or artifacts. Also the one who captured criminals so they don’t do more bad crimes. Being a hunter means contributing to the world and that’s to be part of something larger in life,” there was no way I would back down just from that.
“Our Kingdom is already part of the larger life. We export to almost half of the world country and our market is as large as the high-end party to ordinary household. By working in the promotion as I assign you to, you’re already part of the larger life.”
“Yeah, but only in the area you control over.”
“Having the next area control is your job then.”
Agape and perplexed at the sudden request, I took a gulp before replying, “You know that’s not what I meant by something larger in life. That’s just business.”
“Our business is part of something larger in life,” he insisted.
“That makes me one of the target of our rivals. But I won’t be able to do anything if my identity is only bound here. I need to be part of something else to expand my horizon and outlook in life.”
“I don’t understand what you mean, Miel. Being here is what keep you safe even within our rivals target list. If you are here, I can protect you."
"Until you can’t. You’re not gonna live forever.”
“I will not die!” His fist slamming to the nearest flat area. He sighed and shook his head before abruptly saying, “Beside I have a plan for you Princesses.”
“Oh really? Let’s hear about that.” I sassed.
My sassy sister might find me a rival with that, “Hush. Quit your sass, Miel. Father, Let’s hear about that.” Fjolla said. You’re just the same, Fjolla. I look at her cynically.
He started by clearing his throat first, “I… have arranged an engagement for you two, Fjolla, Miel.” What?! “And before I talk more about them, they’ll be here anytime soon.”
“Isn’t that great Fjolla, Miel?” Mother Lucijana pushed and followed by the other moms.
Suddenly there was knocking on the door and a butler came in.
“Speak of the devil,” Mihael said.
The butler who had arrived in the room immediately announced the upcoming guests, “Mr. Illumi Zoldyck and Mr. Killua Zoldyck.”
Wait, those two?
Silence commenced as the devils walk into the room.
“Yo,” Illumi greeted. The butler withdraw himself from the room and out. I just paid attention to the duo devils in front of me. They were wearing casual clothes now. Illumi wore sleeveless shirt and long pants. Killua was wearing long sleeve shirt and short pants. They still look as menacing as last night. Not to mention the expressionless face Illumi always wore, I was just anticipating him saying absurdly honest things with that deadpan face again.
And Killua…He didn’t look good.
By that I mean, like his brother, he didn’t show much expression. Unlike last night, with his smirk and flamboyant demeanour and all. Of course, he looked good. He even pulled off the vampire costume last night. Yeah, umm… he looked…alright—y?
“I am planning to make you Princesses engaged to the Family of Zoldyck,” Father declared.
I could feel everyone was in panic after that declaration. It seemed like this is the first time everyone heard about this. Me? Are you asking if I am in panic? No way. Panicking is for the weak. I had assumed what he was about to say was gonna be shocking and there it was, it completely flush out the shock in me. It might sound like humble brag, but I was not being humble at all. The idea was simple, if you expect something, whatever it is, and you got what you expected, the feeling that your brain associated with it would simply perish. You don’t even want to feel it anymore. That was how the feeling of shock didn’t wash over me like it did to others. But this was just my theory, I hadn’t read a single book of psychology or anything that could scientifically explain that idea. Hm…? Maybe I should start.
“Why the Zoldyck, Father, they are killers,” Mihael half-way shouted.
“Our sisters would marry killers, what are people going to say?” Franklin continued. Hmm, seemed like they already know much about the Zoldyck, “They are cold-blooded people, who kills for money, their victims must live upon their soul and they would carry the smell of death everywhere they go. Imagine the innocent people who can’t fight back, helpless in their hand.”
Wait wait wait, while I was developing a theory, the development has gone this far. But, I must say, they really knew much about them.
Killua’s face was not looking good, but I could see he tried to brush off something. With a tinge of poison in his voice, he begin to talk –or must I say, warned—,“It’s not just anyone who got killed. Only a person who is really hated by others get killed by an assassin.” Killua stated.
“And we’re still killers,” Illumi added nonchalantly.
Just from the way they talk, I’m sure anyone can see their perspective and where they stand.
“How wonderful. You have such a firm stand,”
Fjolla just…awed? A huge sweat dropped on my forehead. What are you thinking, Fjolla?! This is seriously a talk about how someone died and you see something…that isn’t actually there. Not even abstractly!
“Miel, what are you doing?” She asked, when I just realize that I’ve been drilling sight into her, but I decided to continue.
“I’m sending my thoughts on you. Guess what I thought.”
“I don’t know. If you have something to say, just say it.”
If I could, I swore I would be swearing on you.
“SILENCE,” Father was furious it seemed, “This is in front of our guests, how could your sentences be so careless.”
“Hahaha,” that creepy expressionless laugh again, “it’s true we’re killers though,” Illumi walked up to meet my Father in his spot, “And we, have given you our answer, but remembering we are a good acquaintance, we’ll play by your wish for now.”
Father clear his throat first before continuing his sentences, “The one who would get engaged are, Fjolla and Illumi, also, Miel and Killua. For the purpose of this engagement, is, to unite our kingdom. To unite the two biggest family. To unite the people.”
Okay, I hated to be the one placing judgement to others early but this sounded really bullshit. Like there were just mistakes in the sentences. Especially to unite people? What people?
Father continued, “We have had a good relationship with the Zoldyck since the 7th King of Adonis, And I think as to grow our relationship to the next generation, it is decided that we will come to engagement to unite the big family. They are of an elite genes of superhuman, and we are the elite genes of a kingdom officials, there’s no doubt it will be a superior united kingdom.”
Whaaat… is the zoldyck even a kingdom?
“What relationship, Father? We’re just customer to them,” Mihael chirped.
That’s when something is clicking in my head, like an A-ha moment. If we took what Killua said last night that it was a family business, and they sell services. We were the client who buy their services, and was probably a repeat customer, if the relationship was good. The Zoldyck itself is a big family but even with their power they did not try to power Padokea the Republic they’re in. It meant they’re pretty closed off and satisfied with just being a family of assassin. Now at last, what father try here, was to unite that closed off family to an open-to-public one like us, would they really comply with that? I didn’t know if they were famous or not yet, but if they actually want the fame of going public they would have done it since the previous generation of King of Adonis. The fact that only now, Father wanted to unite the big family was a big question mark in my head.
“MIHAEL,” Father shouted, again, “We will be more than that, we will finally be united, as the two big family with the same vision, I’m positive this will be the most phenomenal moment this year.”
I wanted to laugh. What even the vision? But then I heard someone snorted quietly across the room. It was Killua. So, he found it funny too. I could already see the Zoldyck answer to this proposal.
It’s a NO.
“And so, to carry out with the engagement, two of the said Zoldyck will stay here for three days to observe well what our kingdom is made of. I hope for your cooperation and conviviality for our guests, Royal Princes and Princesses.”
Great, let’s begin the three days free trial.
Suddenly, not long after Father said that, Fjolla got up from her seat and walked up to the pale creep, saying with a sultry voice, “let me show you around, Illumi.”
Father was nodding as if telling ‘that’s a good start’. Blegh.
“Lady’s first,” Illumi replied nonchalantly. This was a menace. At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked if I saw Illumi kill people with a deadpan flat face.
And gone they were from the room.
After it was only eight of us, I couldn’t stand to hold my tongue about how ridiculous this engagement was, especially after seeing Fjolla acting all mushy mushy like a bird in love, “Father, I would like you to reconsider this engagement.”
All seven pairs of eyes suddenly beamed at me. Of course a little girl, not to mention, the youngest one, was voicing out her differing opinion to the one holding the rule. Father looked kinda worried and decide to asked me as a respond, “Hm? What’s the matter, Miel? Is there something displease you?”
“No, it’s just… engagement supposed to be two way and I have a feeling it’s not the same case with the Zoldyck family,” I hold out my breath for a second and releasing it, “I don’t think they want this engagement to take place.”
His face now showed relief, now there’s no a tinge of worry in his tone, just confident… uh- overly-confident statement, “Oh, it’s okay dear, everything need process. We’ve been acquaintance for 7 generation but uniting a big and powerful families certainly needs time. It’s not gonna be easy. But it is for the greater good.” Wow, he’s really one-track at this idea.
“Whose greater good?” my eyes opened wide when I realized I didn’t just blurt it out.
“Both of us. The Family of Zoldyck will receive the sophistication of our technologies, and we have the greatest ally in the universe.”
So, that was all the point of this, ally. He didn’t want to be betrayed by the Zoldyck and got killed by them. He wanted to bind them as family. It meant the Zoldyck was really that powerful but the scariest part about them that also become their power was how independent they were. They didn’t even wanna team up with a pretty big kingdom with the latest technology like us means they were not after… umm, what is the word? Fame? Prosperity? I thought they already have anything but ally.
Father words snapped me back from my train of thought, “You can show Killua around like Fjolla did, Miel. You and Fjolla are free from the royal duties for three days, show hospitality to our guests.”
“Father, I beg to differ. This is just my opinion but I think I’m right about this. Here’s a question? Where do the Zoldyck stand on this engagement? Do they agree? I don’t think so. Because what? They probably only see others as either their customer or victim. They’re a fucking assassin. They do the dirty laundry. I doubt they could see us in a good light of opportunity like you, Father, is hoping.”
It commenced a silence for about five seconds before Mihael-Nii broke it with a whistle, “Wow, you really don’t know when to hold your opinion, Miel.”
With a sigh, I replied, “Should I repeat myself? The point is, I don’t think they see eye-to-eye with us.”
“Yeah, no, you don’t need to repeat that. It’s clear as day,” Frank-Nii added.
Father was angry. I could see it beneath that calm exterior. It was like he warned me to say sorry for the next sentence to come out from my mouth or hell break loose. Crap, I’ve really done it this time.
Finally, I was walking around the Palace, with Killua beside me.
It couldn’t be helped, okay, Father was angry at me.
After sometime walking around, what I found about Killua, he was not a quiet kid at all. Every little piece I talk about myself, he has a perfect respond to it. He carried the conversation smoothly and I didn’t sense any cynical energy from him. Though, I was afraid he was bitter when I said he’s a killer, he did the dirty laundry, etc. but no, he was as easy going as he seemed right now. I felt bad judging him too early for that. Beside all the dirty work, I found an ordinary ten-ish years old kid in his self.
We found a bench made of solid cement in one of our inner park and decided to sat there.
We’ve talked about the politic system of this kingdom, the agriculture, the social culture, and etc. Until, the subject of the conversation was the engagement itself. But I was trying to talk around the topic and it began to be a discussion about our preferences.
“Being me, myself, and I, need to go through all the hurdles and hard works, just to voice out my perspective to be executed in this life.”
“Why do I sense something bothersome about that?” Killua snipped.
“Because it’s actually, a long-term, I would say, vision. For me, myself, and I when was older. It’s for my future entire life.” I was fixing my seat, now facing the blue sky that I looked at, “and of course it’s gonna be bothersome and not gonnna be easy but I’m willing to make it work. And to not cause inconvenient to others, I actually develop a plan for it,” I was looking at Killua to find his reaction funny as he only beamed at me with a thin smile, so I still have my opinion on board, “BUT, what I am not willing to work, is someone who gets in the way of my plan. My c.a.refully curated long-term future. It certainly can’t be tolerated.”
A brief seconds of awkwardness before he replied, “Wow, I was gonna say, good luck, and mock you a little about that outburst earlier and asked is it planned ahead? But, you’re quite nuts.”
“That’s my point, I don’t plan for the engagement this early in my life. But, why am I nuts? What about you then? Do you not plan ahead for your future?”
“I… huh, funny, I don’t. Whatever it is, I’ll think about it when the time comes.”
“What? How does it feel to live on-the-go like that?”
“Well, you could say it is…pretty…liberating.”
“Again, what? Planning ahead is what makes life liberating. Why? Because you already planned it. How it comes and how it goes, how it’s done.” I rotated my index finger near my temple. “You see what I mean?”
“Uhh, …no…”he sighed then, “because, planning things ahead only meet you with disappointment when it doesn’t happen, or if there is something more important comes up, or something more fun. Then, you have to discard your original plan or it will not happen as you plan.”
“So, are you sad or something if it not happen as you plan?”
“No, that’s not what I mean. Planning ahead rids you the fun of spontaneous. You’re bound if you have a plan, but without it, you are liberated to do anything, anytime, anywhere.”
Hearing the word spontaneous kinda set off my freak alarm. Anything anywhere anytime is the forsaken trinity of word I loathed so much.
After rubbing on my right temple, I tried to start off easy and I think I kinda failed, “that’s not how you plan, amateur. You plan ahead e.v.erything. The two or three course of action of one plan. The save-up plan if the original didn’t work. And of course the next goal if the plan did work. And that’s just the basic. That’s why I said it long-term because there will always be—” I made a sign of quote with my fingers in the air— “spontaneous things that will happen along the way. It give you a lot of ‘liberation’ while you go achieving your goal. Long-term goal.”
“Goals goals goals, I’m sick of hearing that,” now he sounded bitter.
“What?!” I was honestly perplexed, “Don’t tell me you don’t have goals in your life?”
“How do I even have goals when all I do my entire life is killing people?!”
I was perfectly stunned and tongue-tied when I hear that. Right, he is a killer. But, as it was his job, and as he is very good at it, he should have imagine a grandiose life ahead of him. Before I further my thoughts on it, he continued,
“That’s all I do my entire life, since I was three. I don’t even know how it feels to just play around with friends like a normal kids. I don’t even know what everyone want to become when all everyone I came across was my target. There is one, my family wants me to be an elite assassin, they already planned that for me. That’s my goal, or is it? No, It’s other’s expectation of me, and now it’s getting suffocating.”
There was a brief silence after he—or what I thought was—poured out his frustration in front of me. But without further ado, I broke the quietness.
“I’m sorry Killua, I didn’t know you better…”a frown came to my forehead as I came up with another opinion, “So, you do have your own goal that’s different to other’s expectation afterall?”
“No! I don’t have goals.” His eyes darken but I sensed that he realized it and did not want to further it, “sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he sighed, trying to regain control of himself. “You don’t know how it feels after you kill people, and you shouldn’t.”
This is the part that confuse me of him. He claimed to be spontaneous person, right, but did it include being bipolar or having two personalities? Because after saying such a tragic thing, he quickly changed into his usual playful nature, “Awh man, why do I even talk about this with you.” He threw his back on the bench and looked up at the vast sky, “but that’s who I am, and this is what I do now, doing my job, and playing around when I have free time.”
Bullshit. I didn’t buy that bullshit at all. It was exactly what he did, yes, but underneath it, no.
In my opinion, he was not just spontaneous, he did it because it was what overrun his room that was caught on fire. He’s either overwhelmed or overbored with his life now. Surrendering to external sensation and the flow of things, I could never, but he didn’t have anything much going on in his life other than his job.
“But Killua, if you’re unhappy with where you are now—”
He quickly flicked a finger on my forehead. Again. “Who says I am unhappy. Beside, you have a bright future ahead of you. Don’t waste it on thinking about someone like me.”
I tried to flick his forehead too, but he grabbed my finger in the air, “Who says I am thinking about you? Beside, what’s wrong if someone thinking about you?”
“Heh,” he slide his hand down still grabbing my finger, our hands were now connected on the bench, “the only thing people think about me is me inheriting the family business and the fear of people who I am about to kill.”
I was teary at that remark, “Whaaat….? Killua, why is your life sooo…pathetic.”
“Hm? Pathetic?” he blinked four times, “Well, you could probably said that,” he said releasing my fingers and threw his arms at the back of his head, got up and started walking away, “anyway, I probably shouldn’t say this but,” he stopped at his track and looked back at me, “It’s nice chatting with you, Miel.”
I was frowning again, “eventhough we don’t reach conclusion and no solution for your lack of goals?”
“Come on,” he was throwing his hands down, then put them in his pockets, “not everything has to reach a solution, let loose a little, you’re way too tense.”
I sighed. This kid, I was sure, was gonna be problematic one in my life. If, there were even a future with him. “Okay, okay, you win. I’ll discard that thought completely for now, I can’t even persuade you to make one goal, so I’ll shut up,” I said getting up to walk up to him.
When I caught up with his pace, I saw him with that mischievous smirk.
“Good girl.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“What? I didn’t say anything mocking at you.”
“Excuse me, who are you, to define me?”
-
And another afternoon comes to evening before I was aware of it.
Background : A member of an elite assassin family from Kukuroo Mountain in Republic of Padokea. The middle child of Zoldyck Family. Apointed as the family successor, but was rebelling to be pro hunter instead. The family business he don’t want to inherited include assassinating high profile official and getting money from it. The family has a little to none acquaintance and one of them is the King of Adonis, a loyal support to the family and has been requesting many order since the 7th King. Now, the 14th King keep the honor of being acquaintance to the family. Has been to Zoldyck resident once as guests. The Zoldyck doesn’t look like they show appreciation for the long acquaintance, but the repeating order is the honor they keep.
Background : The only child of the third wife of 14th King Snowfrid of Adonis. Have two big brothers from the first wife and a big sister from the second wife. She was responsible to promote any event and program held by the Kingdom. To be representative of Kingdom. Officially working at 15 years old so only know all alliance at that age. Was meeting Ging once at 10 years old when visiting the historic sites to promote the first museum in Adonis. Because of Ging influence she wants to be hunter too but she is not interested in archeology. Asking permission to be hunter at the age of 13 she passed using technology as it was the main weapon of her kingdom.
The whole city packed into automobiles, and every year on this date everyone come to the Palace to celebrate the annual holiday on October 31st. A Halloween Party has started.
Caravansary of billionaire, businessmen, publishers break into one room of grandiose inheritance. Gossip columnist alongside Governor and Gangsters exchanging telephone numbers. Film Stars, Broadway directors, morality protectors, and highschool defector, they do not forget to come with their own original costumes. You could find all the folklore characters alive and devouring champagne, dancing under the sparkling lights, shouting their heart to the end of their lungs.
It was time. Fireworks would be light up from the swimming pool. It was the finale of the party.
The sparkling lights gone up to the sky and exploding sound follows as it disappear in the air. Not far from it, there I am in a vampire attire, was conversing with a group of young lads while bringing a cup of warm latte to later accommodate the heat my body needed in the cold night.
But my feeling was telling me something.
Somebody’s watching from afar. It didn’t take a long time before I accurately pinpoint the direction of said eyes. Like they intended to be found, two young men were on their way approaching. I realized this and excuse myself, preparing to welcome the new guests I was sure were looking for me. The tall one has long sleek black hair, coming as a mummy—a hot mummy, and the younger and shorter one has white-silvered hair with the same attire as I did, vampire. Only he got the fake teeth and I didn’t. I got the lipstick and he didn’t. I got the black wig and he didn’t. I got the dress and he’s in tuxedo.
And they were right in front of me now.
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miel-san,” said the tall one with expressionless face in the midst of vociferous condition.
Now, this was the part where it didn’t compute for me. How should I treat this kind of mind-boggling guests? I hardly even find a word to describe my experience right now.
“Yes…uhh and you are?” being your—awkward—self is always the goal.
“I am Illumi Zoldyck,” his right hand hides behind the other young man’s back, “and this is Killua Zoldyck.”
“Lemme guess, you two are brother?”
“Yes that’s correct. And you are… the youngest princess of Adonis.”
“Exactly.”
“Have you heard of us?”
“Umm, no. This is the first time we met, yes?”
“Oh. Ah.” His expression slowly came up to that pale face,”Ahahahaha,” he laughed like a maniac,”is that so? Well,” he grabbed my empty hand and began to shake it, “nice to meet you Miel-san.”
“Illu-nii you’re scaring her.” Said the white haired boy along with his little smirk.
“Ah, oh, yes, nice to meet you, haha,” instead of shaking his hand, my nine years old boney-ass want to just sit down and shake my head, “should we sit down and have a little chit-chat?”
“Lead the way, Kitten,” the shorter boy, now named as Killua Zoldyck was giving me the first way to one of the round table. I couldn’t wait to have a barrier between me and this tall-ass creep.
We chatted for what felt like fifteen minutes about NOTHING. I couldn’t even begin to mention what was the example of it because there was literally nothing, like obvious thing in the party, everyone’s costumes and other nothingness. Illumi’s face was friendly as he kept chattering. But his eyes didn’t give any sign of life. Killua was just sitting back and replied once or twice.
After it felt like forever in madness, I break out the conversation course.
“So, where do you guys come from?”
“Oh, we’re from the republic of Padokea, far away from here,” Illumi replied and nodded.
“What? How do you get the invitation? This party is for the people only.”
“It was from your Father.”
“Father? You know my Father?”
“Correct, our family knew each other. We’ve known each other since the 7th King of Adonis and still maintain our relationship until now.”
“Oh-My-God,” I was perplexed, “Excuse me, Illumi-san, I didn’t recognize you two.”
“Hahaha, it’s okay, it’s probably kept a secret to you.”
“Sorry, what?”
“Illu-nii,” Killua cleared his throat then turned to me, “we’re only here for a short business.”
“What business?” I get impatient and chased.
“Family business,” the vampire replied shortly.
“And that is?”
“Assassination,” Illumi said.
.
.
.
Hmm. Is the only thought I have at the time.
Wait, isn’t that dangerous? Who’s their target? It can’t be my family because Father invited them here, right? Or is it? Maybe another rebel or potential terrorist again? They are acquaintance for history and one could say these lads are the right-hand man of the King. He said it is kept a secret from me maybe because I’m not one of the kingdom official’s yet. Father never officially include me in the kingdom’s business yet. What if I have to use their service sometimes in the future? Or perhaps this is a way to kept the family strong as no traitor would summon themselves with an assassin family at line one. Okay. I got the situation now. And as relatives now they said hello to me while carrying their secret mission in this party. One thing I’m afraid of this get up though, if there will be no more Halloween party here, when again can I have a big party at my own house?
Wait, is my line of deduction right?
“Hey where’s the bathroom, young lady?” a boy suddenly came up on my left asking a question.
“Oh, there is one in the building, just ask a servant.”
“Thank you, Kitten,” the boy took my hand and kissing it before he ran off.
What was that?
“I don’t feel good when he calls me kitten,” I said, bringing a cup to my lips.
The white haired boy turned at me first before saying, “you’re not supposed to,” then he looked far away at the bridge above the swimming pool.
With my cup of coffee hanging in the air, I curiously answered, “I’m not supposed to?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, by the way, so you guys here to assassinate someone as my father request?”
“Yeah, correct” Illumi answered.
“Well, that makes sense,” I said clicking my head and emptied my cup. The cup was now on the little plate on the table. I was right.
“Well, that was easy,” Killua said.
“What?” my head turned towards him, “What is easy?”
He just crossed his eyes with his siblings across his table then smirked at me. This was getting confusing, “Okay, I’ll be honest here guys, I don’t know what is going on in here.”
If it’s not me all the time. Look, I’m just really good at guessing what people are talking about sometimes.
Killua gave me a low chuckle. His left hand was slowly approaching me as I kept my eyes on him and he said, “nothing, don’t think too much about it, kay,” and his finger flicked my forehead before he instantly back away.
“Oww,” I rubbed it quick, though it didn’t hurt a bit, “but seriously guys, what was easy?”
Killua threw his body back on the chair and replied, “It was you—I mean, that was quick of you.”
“You mean I’m quick-witted,” as I deduct correctly.
“Nooooooo,” Killua protested.
“But I do has a quick wit for something that is happening to me. I realized what was good or not for me before it gets out of hand.”
The boy ruffled his head first then he rose from his seat and lazily said, “yeah, yeah,” then his hand was hanging in the air offering me another cup, “coffee?”
“No, thank you.”
“What?” His eyes flashed at me.
“I said … yes, umm, please…?” I said in doubt while putting my cup on his hanging hand.
“Kil,” his brother rose up too.
Killua put down my cup again as he his eyes transforming into a sharper almond-shaped.
I caught a sight of a man walking out of the building, he was bald and fat, wearing navy blue tuxedo, and was walking down from the bridge towards the garden. It was Mr. Jaime Bernard one of our ministry.
Slurping my now empty cup that I forgot, I close my eyes.
I don’t know who he is personally, but I guess Father said to him to wait in the garden as the party’s over. It will be an easy job for the two as the guests are going home. But I do know one thing, that this year Halloween is going to be a bloody one.
furthermore i truly believe you should eat a meal before making any big choices, confrontations, vents, etc. i promise 100% of the time you will feel better and more balanced with food in your stomach. you should never do anything that will have consequences on anything less than a full stomach
Recently I fall into this pattern again after having fun theorizing what and how, talking about it with imaginary person and enjoying every moment of it.
But then I got headache and can't sleep until morning because neglecting aux Fe is gonna be fatal.
So here's note for me to get out of Ni-Ti Loop :
• Do your skincare routine. Self-care is part of Fe, it doesn't have to always be about helping others, caring can be done to ourselves.
• Clean your room. This is the continuation of self-care. If no one intervene with your loop state, you do it yourself. I know this one is particularly hard, but don't even think to harness your Se. It's particularly useless now.
• When in Ni-Ti Loop you just want to sit down and goes on about whatever is in your head. I suggest look for food even when you don't feel like it. Relaxing is important when you want to break out the loop.
You're lucky if there is someone who came up nd ask for help to dissipate your loop but as long as you're currently independent do the three above.
If anyone’s interested in functions like myself and wants to learn more or type themselves, I wrote up this easy guide on cognitive functions for beginners to learn and understand. I hope you guys enjoy.
THINKING
Te users are organized and efficient. They easily follow logic, sequence, and organization, and they also rely on the facts in front of them, or from experience. They are more likely to act on their ideas and plans. They want to use their knowledge to accomplish a goal.
Dominant: Manifests as the ability to clearly envision the most effective outcome to any given situation or problem and the ability to set the corresponding plans into action. (ESTJ, ENTJ)
Auxiliary: Manifests as the ability to take concrete, efficient action on the Te user’s analysis of what the best thing to do would be. (INTJ, ISTJ)
Tertiary: Manifests as the ability to source whichever resources are necessary to make the user’s desire a reality. (ENFP, ESFP)
Inferior: Originally manifests as the inability to set one’s external desires or plans into motion. As Te matures, the user finds themselves steadily more able to source the resources they require to make their dreams a reality. They also find themselves developing the ability to express their thoughts to others in a straightforward, logical manner. (ISFP, INFP)
Ti users are excellent problem solvers. Often very clear and concise with their words which can often come off as harsh or critical. Ti users are more likely to be cautious about implementing their ideas into the real world and prefer to just think. They want to use their knowledge to get a better understanding of things, and feed their thirst for knowledge.
Dominant: Manifests as the constant identification of logical patterns that exist in ones external environment as well as a keen perception for any deviations from those patterns. (INTP, ISTP)
Auxiliary: Manifests as the identification of how the logical systems in the user’s external environment could be manipulated to work to their advantage. (ENTP, ESTP)
Tertiary: Manifests as the organization of the user’s pre-existing knowledge in a logical, systematic format. (INFJ, ISFJ)
Inferior: Originally manifests as an excessively critical view of others, as it searches for objective (and often harsh) truths about other people. As Ti matures, the user will find themselves using the objective truths they pick up on about others to nurture and guide others in a positive fashion, rather than manipulating them for their own gain. (ESFJ, ENFJ)
FEELING
Fe is more focused on the people around them. “How would others feel about this?” “How would this affect the group?”
Dominant: Seeks to identify what is moral by identifying what those around them value, and then to enforce those values as a measure of keeping the peace in their external environment. (ESFJ, ENFJ)
Auxiliary: Manifests as the urge to apply one’s understanding of a given situation in a way that will satisfy the needs and desires of others. (INFJ, ISFJ)
Tertiary: Manifests as the ability to pick up on the motivations and emotions of those around the user. The immature Fe user may then take advantage of those feelings by manipulating them in a way that supports his or her own ends. The mature tertiary Fe user will search for a means of incorporating the needs of others into their personal plans and actions. (ENTP, ESTP)
Inferior: Originally manifests as the user being reluctant to dabble with or express emotional concerns, as the user cannot logically make sense of many of their own emotions and therefore doesn’t feel confident in moderating them.
As Fe matures, its user will feel increasingly comfortable making and keeping emotional commitments to others, as they grow more confident in what is expected of them. (INTP, ISTP)
Fi is more focused on their own self and emotions. “How do I feel about this?” “How will this affect me?” “What’s important to me?”
Dominant: Manifests as a moral compass that points its user toward the direction they ought to explore next, based on how they feel about the information at hand. (INFP, ISFP)
Auxiliary: Manifests as a method of reflecting on and assessing how the user feels about their past actions. (ENFP, ESFP)
Tertiary: Manifests as strong, unwavering set of morals and values which the user draws upon to dictate many of their major decisions. (INTJ, ISTJ)
Inferior: Manifests as a general disdain for emotional expression and a fear of being perceived as ‘weak’ by others. (ESTJ, ENTJ)
SENSING
Se lives in the moment and takes in new experiences. They see, touch, smell, and listen to everything going on in their external world. They easily pick up on details and are aware of their surroundings. They are also more spontaneous and likely to take risks.
Dominant: Manifests as the desire to engage fully with the sensory aspects of one’s environment, without any restraint or pause for analysis. (ESTP, ESFP)
Auxiliary: Manifests as the desire to experience and experiment with the sensory aspects that the user has determined to be the most enjoyable or useful. (ISFP, ISTP)
Tertiary: Manifests as the user’s ability to pick up cues from their external environment and react to them with a sense of natural confidence. (ENTJ, ENFJ)
Inferior: Originally manifests as a distrust of the physical world that surrounds its user, or the pervasive belief that one’s intellect can and must be trusted above the sensory information that is available. (INTJ, INFJ)
Si tends to focus on subjective information and contrasts personal experiences and information to new information. Si users easily pick up on patterns and are quick to notice inconsistencies. They are more likely to be cautious and responsible.
Dominant: Manifests as a powerful memory for what has worked well in the past, and the desire to structure one’s life around the traditions and positive outcomes of past experiences. (ISTJ, ISFJ)
Auxiliary: Manifests as the preference to rely on the tried-and-true method when working to accomplish a particular goal. (ESTJ, ESFJ)
Tertiary: Manifests as a proneness to nostalgia, as well as a method of contrasting the new and exciting with the old and the known. (INTP, INFP)
Inferior: Originally manifests as a resistance to tradition or conformity of any sort.
As Si matures, the user will find themselves steadily more able to determine when traditional methods are useful in accomplishing their goals and when they are not, and will begin to feel comfortable integrating tried-and-true methods into their experiences as they see fit. (ENTP, ENFP)
INTUITION
Ne focuses on what could be, and always sees many different possibilities. They often like change and can be a bit idealistic at times. This can cause them to have problems in relationships due to getting bored.
Dominant: Manifests as a seemingly never-ending plethora of theories, possibilities and inventive ideas that the user is constantly picking up on. (ENTP, ENFP)
Auxiliary: Manifests as a plethora of possibilities that arise to support or expand upon a thought or decision that the user has come to. (INTP, INFP)
Tertiary: Manifests as a series of creative solutions that may go into solving a given problem or moving them towards a goal. (ESTJ, ESFJ)
Inferior: Originally manifests as a reluctance to try new ways of doing things, occasionally giving way to anxiety over the unknown. As inferior Ne matures, its user will become more comfortable dwelling in uncertainties and entertaining new possibilities. (ISTJ, ISFJ)
Ni focuses inwards, on the internal world of thoughts, ideas, and concepts. They focus on the big picture more than details. They can sometimes reach random conclusions that seem to come out of nowhere.
Dominant: Manifests as a keen perception for the meaningful connections that exist between the thoughts, concepts, events and occurrences in the Ni-user’s environment. (INTJ, INFJ)
Auxiliary: Manifests as an understanding of how one ought to go about accomplishing his or her goals, based on a keen intuitive perception of how various courses of action are likely to unfold. (ENTJ, ENFJ)
Tertiary: Manifests as the desire to optimize or perfect upon one’s pre-existing talents or skills. (ISTP, ISFP)
Inferior: Manifests as a scorn or distaste for over-analyzing what is obvious or over-planning for the future. As inferior Ni matures, the user may find themselves developing a keen ‘hunch’ for the way things are bound to unfold in the future and will enjoy entertaining these ideas. (ESTP, ESFP)
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