[short AU fanfic about Anne & Phillip, enjoy]
“Anne.” His voice echoed throughout the deserted building, bouncing off of every locker along the corridor. “Anne!”
She let her back face him, keeping her gaze only on the double door in front of her. Each step was painful, it crushed her soul but it was needed. She had to leave. Her palms enclosed around the cool, metal handle pushing it down to escape to the outside.
It was dark outside and the high school was supposed to be closed, no students were meant to be on site. Not like that stopped Anne, when she needed her time to feel at peace there was only one place she could go; Charity’s office.
His pace quickened as he hurried to catch up with her, before she was gone forever. It didn’t make sense, how could see just leave? After everything that happened between them, everything she said to him, every way she acted: it showed love.
"What is it Anne?" His words rang loud in her head. Anne only shook them away with a slight sigh, moving her feet along the path. It was raining, the weather had been acting unusual lately and it was predicted that a storm was coming to consume the town. "Huh, talk to me. Don't keep doing this."
"Doing what?" Her voice was as cold as ice. Anne gazed back, letting her eyes lock with his. The plain expression on her face, hiding a channel of secrets. She shrugged, rolling her eyes with irritation. "I'm walking away from you Phillip, because your voice is-"
“Bullshit!” Phillip never swore, until now. “I refuse to fall for your act again.”
Anne raised an eyebrow with confusion. “What act?”
“You act like nothing bothers you, like you don’t care about anything.” His voice grew loud not wanting to get washed away in the screams of rain that fell on the two of them. “And when something or someone catches you out on your act, you disappear Anne.”
“I never disappear; you just don’t know me to know where I would be.” She spat, hoping her harsh tone would create a bigger wall between them.
“Then let me know you,” Phillip replied. The desperation was as clear as day in his voice, he was in love with her. Despite, her continuous insults that she threw at him every day or the countless of times he almost died, Phillip knew that this girl, Anne, was his destiny. He felt drawn to her, the mystery and the never knowing of her next move, he was completely under her spell and yet he didn’t even know her last name.
No one knew her last name. No one knew Anne.
She just turned back around, walking to her car. He followed her and she knew of it. "Quit with the stalking Phillip."
"Anne, stop this." Phillip practically begged, his hand taking a hold of hers. He knew that she didn’t like to be touched, but that was the last thing on his mind at that moment. All he needed was her.
Anne flinched her hand away but his grip was stronger than hers, not strong enough to leave a mark or bruise but enough to keep her in place. His skin was soft, moistened from the rain. Her eyes fell down to her hand in his, then back at his face. “Give me my hand back, Phillip.”
"Anne." A loud sigh fell from Phillip’s lips. "You know I want you and I know you want me."
Her heart swelled but her face remained still. Yet, when she spoke again it was much quieter. “I need to go.”
“I need to go.” Anne tore her hand away from his, the cold air suffocating her skin that was previously heated by him. She stared at him a little longer, before walking away again.
And of course he followed. Phillip was not ready to let her go just yet. He needed to remind her of what had happened between them, when she had lowered those barriers that surrounded her.
“Did it all mean nothing?” His question made her feet abrupt to a holt. “Was I just a distraction in your act? A vessel to remind you of humanity.”
Phillip wasn’t that. He was different, he didn’t just remind of humanity, he made her feel human.
“Did you ever care about me, Anne?” His voice was close, he had caught up with her and his body was pressed against hers. His heartbeat thumping against her back and throughout her body.
“I did care.” Her words were barely a whisper, but he heard it as if it was a scream. Phillip spun her around, locking his gaze with hers.
Anne opened her mouth slightly, she was unsure whether it was the rain or not that made the lump in her throat. “I did care.”
“Then why do you act like this?” His arms engulfed her frame, shielding as much of her as he could from the rain. The rain still coated them, Phillip was no match with nature but Anne felt at whole in his arms.
Yet she knew it couldn’t be like this forever. Anne broke herself away from the safety of his arms, with a shake of her head. “You think it’s easy?” Her voice fell back to the previous artic tone. “You don’t know me, Phillip. Stay out of my life.”
“Then let me in Anne.” His frustration was becoming impossible to control but he knew that it had to stay concealed. “Let me get to know you, let me into your life.”
“You don’t want to be in a life like mine.” The artic tone had melted slightly.
He took a step closer to her. “It’s too late to say that now, Anne.”
Anne shook her head, the lump doubling in her throat and becoming difficult to swallow away. “It’s not too late.” She whispered. “You can go; you can’t be with someone like me.”
“Why not?” She didn’t answer him, which only elevating his interest. “Why not Anne? What are you so afraid of? It is okay to let yourself feel and to accept people into your life.”
“I can’t do that!” Her voice was as loud as the rain, grabbing Phillip’s complete attention. A sob escaped her lips as the lump continued to grow. She glanced up to him. “You think I don’t want to run to you. To feel safe in your arms, to let your stroke my hair until I fall sleep and feel your lips against my skin while your kiss me goodnight.”
Phillip feel speechless. Standing in front of him was not the Anne he knew, it was the Anne that she was hiding from the world. There she stood exposed for him to see. The broken, emotionally drained and afraid Anne. And it was this Anne that he wanted, he wanted to help her and most importantly to love her.
“Then come to me, Anne.” His arms extended for her.
A shakey breath came from her mouth and she took a step further away from him. "You can't fix what doesn't want to be fixed."
"No Phillip!" Her shouts now held sobs that made him step closer to her. "It's not easy okay." Anne felt her voice shake and the tears leave her eyes, she desperately wiped them away. "It's not easy and I can't be with you."
"Anne, that's not true." Phillip took another step closer.
"I can't be the girl you want me to be."
“You already are that girl.” He told her, shifting closer until his hand fell onto her wet shoulder. "Anne-"
"Don't come any closer." Anne shook him away, her sight being blurred with tears and raindrops. Her voice still wobbling from the lump in her throat. "Just let me get out of this rain and go home."
"I'm in love with you, Anne." That was it. It was everything that he had left. Anne froze in her movements, shutting her eyes as her mind replayed his words on a constant loop. A familiar embrace surrounded her body and she didn’t shudder away from it. "I love you, Anne and I know you feel it too."
"Just let me in, Anne." Phillip begged. He could feel it in his bones that what they had between them was real, she just needed to realise. Phillip faintly drew her into him even more, her heartbeat now hitting his chest. Anne welcomed his actions and the coldness of the rain did not compare to the utter bliss and warmth she felt in his arms. “Just let me in.”
Anne lifted her head, he was already staring at her and she met his stare. "You don't want me Phillip." She said. "No one does. I can't be loved; I don't want to be loved."
"Why?" His voice broke ever so vaguely as he felt his heart crush. "Why can’t you let me love you?”
Another sob left her lips. “I can’t do it,” Her body shook, not from the harsh weather tearing at them, but from the battle to reframe from letting out more weeps. “If I love you, then I have to feel and if I feel..." Anne took a pause and inhaled slowly. "If I feel then it means I'll have to remember."
"Remember?” Phillip’s mind ran with thoughts, many of distress for Anne and what may have happened in her past to cause this. “Remember what Anne?”
“I don't want to remember." Her body was losing against the weeps and she separated herself from him, using her arms around to protect herself. Much like she had always done. “I can’t let myself remember.”
“Anne, what happened to you? What do you not want to remember?”
“I’m so sorry mum and dad, it was my fault you got into your car.” Her words left without any rational thinking and Phillip already knew a possible assumption. Anne kept letting her body lose, her arms hugging her body as she bawled for her loss.
It had been the first time in five years she had recalled of the accident, it had taken many years to perfect but she had completely blocked it out. Anne allowed herself to not care, not feel or show any emotion in case it led back to that memory.
A memory she always wanted to forget, but knew she never could.
Her therapists thought she had moved on, her progress within her sessions was improved and her meditation was kept up to date along with her dream journal. But it was all lies, Anne never took the pills, she lied to her therapists’ faces with a fake smile placed upon her lips. It was all a part of her act, much like Phillip said, show no emotion, feel no emotion and it worked for her. It helped distract her from the black hole that grew every day inside of her stomach.
“I’m not the one you were meant to find, Phillip.” She spoke after a few moments. “I can’t bring you into my messed up life.”
“Anne.” He didn’t know where to even begin. “I am so sorry, I had no idea,” Phillip hesitated but walked back over to her. “And I love you, which is why I am going to stay and I know that they did too, very much.”
Even though he knew it was a risk, he did it anyway. Bringing, his lips down to meet hers as his arms wrapped back around her. It threw her off guard, but Anne very much welcomed the soft texture that had once previous experienced; his lips against hers.
"Marianne." Her words were almost silent, but the distance had vanished between them so she knew that he heard her.
“Marianne.” Phillip repeated, he could see it in her eyes. This was her, this was Marianne not Anne. He brought his lips down to her forehead, planting a small and soft kiss. “It's beautiful."
"After the accident,” She paused, inhaling a shaky breath. "That's my name but I wanted to change after the accident. So I shorten my name and dropped my other names."
“What is your full name?”
“Marianne Wheeler.” Marianne spoke. She stretched up onto her tiptoes, kissing his cheek with a delicate, tender kiss. “You know I want you, Phillip." His lips lifted up into a smile. "And I love you too."
The smile extended on his face, coating most of it. "You-"
"But I can't have you." Her voice broke again and she shook her head. Phillip’s smiled dropped. "You don't want someone like me."
Marianne took a step away from him, dodging his arms that craved to hold her once more. She knew it was for the best, not matter how much it broke her heart. Her mind reminded her that they were bound to break and she didn’t need any more loss in her life, too much had already been lost. Marianne needed to forget about Phillip and Phillip needed to forget about her.
Phillip felt as if his heart had been torn out of his chest and dragged along the ground. He kept his lips shut, knowing that calling her would be no use. No matter what he shouted, no matter how must he plead, she was gone. He had meet Marianne for that blissful moment, he had kissed and loved Marianne.
But in front of him, he knew that he was watching Anne walk away from him and there was nothing he could do about it.
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