operational

stars, hide your fires / let not light see my black and deep desires

[hybridification]

frustrated bc i like this a lot but i feel very [tv static] about posting even vaguely ~suggestive~ stuff to my normal artblog :Y

[hybridification]

“basia by ‘fixed’ do you mean ‘slammed with more on the overlay layer” yes. yes i do

[hybridification]

fixed

[hybridification]

:V :V :V

[hybridification]

maybe later i’ll put pants on this and call it sfw

[hybridification]

thought i got this bullshit out of my system but i guess not #nsfw/

[hybridification]

i started playing w lighting and like. lord. i really like how this came out

[hybridification]

me three days ago: plausible deniability!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me now: hey so this dumpster i live in is on fire, isn’t that neat

[hybridification]

so kade is aro

i’m only putting it here and not on my main/art blog bc...... idk part of that Venting(tm) down there is that like. she’s very bisexual and very aro. and she also has a lot of difficulty forming relationships or attachments of any kind, so when she does, she gets like. incredibly aggressively protective of her friends

and that’s?? idk it’s really only something that starts coming out for her once she leaves hyperion because she ends up so much more alone than ever before, because on elpis and at hyperion she had a slew of casual acquaintances and no one she was emotionally close with, but once she finds herself Alone-alone it’s just like. wow. she sure is alone. and once she starts getting her head out of her ass and starts finding herself that’s when she starts actually forming meaningful relationships and actual friendships

but kade is also my only oc and/or character i relate to who’s not........ ace as fuck........... so that’s a part of why i sort of picked on her here bc i didnt feel guilty about it lmfao whereas when i considered making the first ones academia at first it was just like. lord academia is way too ace for this shit (tho i guess i’ll just make a furry oc later to use for like. meaningless porn)

but the other part is that she’s. kind of a manifestation of what i wish i could be? in the gross societal pressure way, i guess. like wow damn do i wish i wasn’t ace so that i could be Normal(tm), you know? and that was...... part of what started all of this and i feel a lot better for having vented it. plus drawing porn ended up being pretty fun, even though i’ve frankly been kind of cringing for a few days now because like........... @ self........................... gross

i kinda lost my train of thought but where i was going with this is that like i want kade to have healthy sexual relationships bc thats something i never had (and frankly it’s something i don’t want, i have no interest in this for myself, #autochorissexuality lmfao) so nothing on here (so far?) is actually like. a part of “kade canon” for...... obvious reasons...............

[hybridification]