[i have no idea what you're on about anon so my brain took an idea an ran with it. here’s a ridiculous dummy thicc reader sequel no one asked for]
warning for non-consensual ass slaps i guess?
Pyramid Head X dummy thicc f!reader (crack)
After the clapping incident with the Doctor, you felt ready to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. Nea kept snickering for days and Ace, the bastard, went on to tell the entire survivor camp about your unfortunate assventure at Léry’s. At least Jane shared your mortification and stayed by your side in solidarity while the others joked about you and the Doc.
When a harrowed Laurie returned from a trial with a new survivor in tow and announced the arrival of a new and terrifying killer, you were elated to have the attention shift from you.
It was only a matter of time before you woke up in a trial in the unfamiliar map of a crude replica of a school. You’re alone but eventually find a generator in one of the classrooms, crouching to repair it while listening to the ominous screeching of metal on concrete coming from somewhere within the building.
When you hear a heartbeat, you sneak away to a hole in the wall in a corner that you spotted earlier, ready for a quick escape. It’s impossible to tell if the killer is coming for you or chasing someone on the floor below you.
While sneaking over, you trip over something and pain flares up your leg--razor wire? What the fuck? You try to get loose, the wire digging into your ankles. Fuck. You need to get somewhere safe to pry off the sharp item. You glance at the vault leading to another room.
You carefully begin to squeeze through the opening in the wall, minding your injured legs. Shit, it’s a tight fit! You use your arms for leverage and manage to fit your ample bosom through the opening, but your hips are just way too thicc!
You kick your legs for momentum, but the damn wire gets them tangled up together! You try to back out through the hole, but now your boobs are stuck.
You sit there for a second, uselessly hanging from the vault with your thicc ass sticking out one one side of the wall and your generous breasts from the other. You scream out in frustration; why does this keep happening!?
“H-hello, y/n? Are you ok?” Dwight calls out from the hallway, peering into the room where your front half is currently situated.
“Does it look like I’m ok?? I’m stuck, help me out!! And don’t you dare bring up the hospital--” you warn.
“I wouldn’t! J-just tell me what to do!” Dwight assures, blushing from second hand embarrassment, no doubt.
“...Go into the next room and push my ass.”
“W-what!?” Dwight exclaims, beet red and looking scandalized.
“I’m not getting back the way I came! So help me through!”
“I couldn’t--”
“Shut the fuck up and do it!”
Dwight disappears from the doorway and you hear him pitter patter to the other room. You hang your head in embarrassment and try to tell yourself that Dwight finding you is probably the best possible scenario. The boy is painfully shy and surely wouldn’t even dream of letting the others know about any of this--
“I’m gonna get one of the girls!” you hear Dwight’s muffled squeak through the wall before he sprints off in search of the others.
“DWIGHT YOU COWARD! GET BACK IN HERE AND TOUCH MY ASS!!” you yell in frustration, uselessly pounding on the wall with your fists.
Before you can make too much of a scene, you hear the heartbeat approach again and ease up on your tantrum. You hear heavy footsteps in the room you were just in (and where half of you technically still is) and hold your breath while the heartbeat keeps getting louder, praying to whatever deity that the killer doesn’t find you in this embarrassing position.
There’s the familiar sound of a generator being kicked, and then the heartbeat vanishes. You let out a sigh of relief; seems the killer didn’t want to waste time looking around in the room--
You let out a startled yelp when you feel something smacking playfully against your behind. Trying to twist around to glare at the perpetrator, you remember the wall is blocking your view. Who the fuck would--
A dark, echoing chuckle through the wall interrupts your thoughts, followed by the heartbeat blaring in your ears. You feel cold sweat start trickling down the back of your neck; the killer had found you! But instead of slashing you with his weapon, he had... spanked you?? What was he playing at? Your feel another swat against your buttocks.
“Hey! Stop it, you creep!” you yell out, trying to kick the killer with your legs but end up just floundering like a fish on dry land, the killer chuckling in amusement at your antics. Suddenly a metallic ‘clank’ through the wall can be heard, followed by the killer letting out a surprised grunt.
“Back the FUCK off, you bastard!!” you hear Yui’s voice, sounding absolutely pissed and ready to throw fists on your behalf.
“Yeah! G-get away from her, or else!” Dwight’s voice follows, clearly trying to be brave for you.
“You heard him, assface!” Yui keeps taunting the killer while Kate sneaks into the room you’re in.
“Are you okay y/n? What happened?” Kate whispers, barely concealed panic on her features.
“I got stuck and the killer found me and is slapping my ass,” you mutter in defeat, more embarrassed than anything, just done with the whole situation. You idly listen in as Yui has proceeded to yell Japanese profanities at the killer, who is clearly trying to communicate something by interrupting her with the occasional grunt and groan.
“Aww geez, I’m so sorry,” Kate offers, cringing in sympathy. “We’ll get ya out of this hun, just hang in there,” she encourages, kneeling down beside you to offer companionship.
“Not like I have a choice,” you say, rolling your eyes.
The argument of the other side of the wall abruptly stops, and soon Yui’s head pokes in from the doorway.
“The killer’s gonna help us get you unstuck!” Yui announces.
“How the fuck did you even--” you try to ask, wondering how she could have possibly arrived to the conclusion from the unintelligible shouting match.
“We’re gonna push from this side, Kate you pull, ok? On three!” Yui interrupts and bolts back to the other room.
You feel someone start untangling the barbed wire from your feet, but before you can even stretch your legs as the wire comes loose, the trio apparently gets into position to start pushing you. You feel cool metal against the entirety of your buttocks, flinching from the sensation but steeling yourself as Kate grabs your arms.
“One... two... THREE!” Yui shouts.
On the cue, Pyramid Head shoves against your ass with the flat side of his helmet, while Yui and Dwight push the bottom of the helmet from either sides, and Kate pulls on your arms, feet flat on the wall for better leverage.
“Woah!” you yelp as your ass finally slips through the wall and you land on Kate, sprawling out inelegantly on top of the blonde.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Yui cheers through the hole, no longer muffled. She gives Pyramid Head’s helmet an encouraging smack. “Thanks for the help! And, uh, sorry for throwing the flashlight at you earlier.”
Dwight rushes into the room to help you up on your feet, with Yui and the killer following shortly after.
“Soo...” Kate drawls, dusting off her tank top. “Ya gonna kill us, or...?” she glances at the killer, who shakes his head and motions for you to follow him.
“I think he wants to farm,” Yui, apparently now fluent in monster lingo, explains.
“Works for me,” you say, relieved to have the whole thing over and done with. The three of you start to follow the killer through the school, practically getting a guided tour of the unfamiliar building.
Later, when Dwight is opening the exit gate and Yui and Kate are arguing over a purple med-kit, you sneak up to the unsuspecting killer, giving his ass a hard SMACK. The killer flinches in surprise while you blush in embarrassment, not expecting the flesh to be so... firm. You stare at the generous, round globes and barely resist the urge to grope.
“Uh... That’s for earlier!!” you say when the killer turns around to face you, puffing yourself up in challenge and trying to hide your blush. The killer snorts, crossing his arms and tilting his head in a silent challenge.
“B-besides--you got two slaps on me! If anything you owe me one!” you ramble on, embarrassment setting in at the words flowing out of your mouth. The killer gives a hearty chuckle, before--you can barely believe it--turning around to indulge you.
“What the fuck,” you hear Yui mutter.
The killer proceeds to further surprise you, bending to grab the hem of his apron, before starting to pull it up to reveal his--
“OKAYWE’RELEAVINGBYE!!” Dwight squeaks out in mortification, bolting out through the now open exit with a giggling Kate and stunned Yui in tow, leaving you alone with an eyeful of bare killer ass.
[i had way too much fun writing this. inspired by that one dbd screenshot of ph’s ass]
titsay
kaledo-art
janainaart
izzy806
yousharknotpass
