In an alternate universe, Hydra is victorious. The Winter Soldier is their biggest hero, a living legend, and a symbol of Hydra's strength.
A blog for all the stories taking place in this AU.
In this alternative universe, Hydra is victorious. The Winter Soldier is their biggest hero, a living legend, and a symbol of Hydra's strength. The Avengers are defeated (but may or may not still exist as a resistance force). Now that the world belongs to them, how will Hydra run it?
An AU which is open for all writers and creators to participate in. The details, timeline, and possible tropes are completely up to you, every story can be different. The rating can be anything from teen to 18+.
— RULES
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG > Hello, we are Sasha aka @offcast-plus1 and Polly aka @bvccy, and we started this as a place to keep track of fics that took place in a Hydra AU. We will be updating the masterlist as new fics are posted, but we’ll also keep an eye out for things such as moodboards, playlists, edits, etc.
HOW TO BE INCLUDED > Simply tag us with @hydravictrix, or tag your post with #HydraAU.
RECOMMENDED CHARACTERS > There are no forbidden characters, but in these stories you’ll likely encounter the Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes, Alexander Pierce, Captain Hydra/Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow, Natasha Romanoff, Baron Zemo, and others [to be added]
ACCEPTABLE WARNINGS > You can make your story completely soft and fluffy, but you're also free to include 18+ NSFW topics such as smut, non-con, dub-con, kidnapping, violence, unprotected sex, praise kink, breeding kink, creampie, fingering, choking, loss of virginity, forced marriage, bondage, cockwarming, oral sex, A/B/O, and others [to be added]
UNACCEPTABLE WARNINGS > Please don’t include anything too off-putting, such as underage sex, slash, daddy/mommy kink, watersports, polyamory, cheating, scat, non-canonical torture, religious references, or explicit violence toward women/children/animals.
⸻ [AO3] [MOODBOARDS] [PLAYLISTS] [EDITS]
WINTER SOLDIER X READER
Last update - 16th of April 2022 🔥
UNDER CONTROL → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You thought you could get away with betraying Hydra’s plans to the Avengers, but you got caught, and Director Pierce knew just the way to punish you.
KNIFE GAMES → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You were kidnapped by the Winter Soldier but in the most unlucky moment your skin issues act up.
DARLING DEAREST → @sugarplum1996 [18+ / fluff]
↳ The Winter Soldier is now married to a good girl and must perform his husband duties.
SURRENDER → @bvccy [18+ / noncon]
↳ Reader is part of a resistance group after Hydra has conquered the world. When the Winter Soldier catches her, she offers herself to him in exchange for their lives.
TAME ME → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You came face to face with the most powerful Alpha being a Beta in the cruel, new world dominated by Hydra.
SELECTION → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳You’re an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D agent whose mission is to defeat Hydra from inside, but things get very difficult when you have to meet Hydra’s best agents - the Winter Soldier and Captain Hydra.
A HAUNTING FACE → @sugarpplum [Angst/Fluff]
↳The daughter of a politician is taken as consequence of his subversive behavior, she’s the only way to make him submit. Now she must deal with the outcomes of it and how to live with the Winter Soldier.
ALABASTER → @bvccy [Angst]
↳ A world-shattering event leads to a world where everything is unstable, society has collapsed, and in the chaos, Hydra has taken over. To try to stabilise the world, they seek to sacrifice young women in a strange ritual, and it is the Winter Soldier's duty to transport her to it.
CLOSE AIN’T CLOSE ENOUGH → @a-fictional-mens-whore [18+ / noncon]
↳You will never forget the day they took you. Not that you ever expected yourself to get kidnapped, but if you did, it was definitely not like this.
SHARING IS CARING → @a-fictional-mens-whore [18+ / noncon]
↳ Hydra needs some important information, sending you to get them from their prisoner, the famous Captain America. But the Winter Soldier doesn’t like sharing what’s his.
HIS PREY → @a-fictional-mans-wife [18+ / dubcon]
↳When you had agreed to the mission from Hydra, all you had paid attention to was the high reputation that you would achieve if you got the job done. It hadn’t crossed your mind that you would have to work harder than usual to earn that.
RUNNIN’ IN CIRCLES → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / dubcon]
↳ You try to run away from a Hydra facility, but the Winter Soldier doesn’t want to let you go.
RESET → @lunarbuck [18+] 🔥
↳ The government has fallen, Hydra has taken over. You were an agent of SHIELD long before the reign of terror began, and became a member of the resistance when they needed you most. Everything changes when the Winter Soldier captures you from your safe house.
series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist
AN: this is the last chapter 😭😭😭😭 i'm so so sad but i love it so thank you for being here haha I'm sorry it's short, but it just felt right to end it like this <3
please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! even though I'm done writing chapters i would love to continue writing for these characters <3
chapter 9 / author's note
5 Years Later
Куколка
You run your hands in the cold water, feeling it splash on your face. Clay melts from your skin and runs in circles down the drain. It’s your third favorite part of making pottery.
The first is molding the clay with your fingers, creating something straight from your mind.
The second is the face James makes when you bring home a new creation. He gushes, as much as the stoic man can gush, about how impressive the pottery is. How you’re a creative genius. He flatters you, but you enjoy it, so you let him do it.
You say goodbye to the two other women you worked with today and make the walk back to your house.
Construction ended pretty quickly after it began. It felt so good to build a home with James. It’s your own; it is no one else’s.
You find James and Alpine out on the front porch, asleep in a chair positioned perfectly in a sunny spot. A baseball cap covers James’ eyes and most of his face while Alpine basks in the warmth of the rays.
When he’s like this, guard down and peaceful, it’s hard to believe that he’d once been the man that turned that SHIELD safehouse to ruble. Your mind flashes with the image of him, the Winter Soldier, as he emerged from the darkness as if born from it. His strength seemed to grow, sucking the mana from the earth below him.
Everything was so dark after that moment. He was often your only ray of light.
You look at him, and in hindsight, you realize you probably should have done things differently. But knowing what you know now, going through what you’ve gone through, you wouldn’t change a thing.
You love him. This much you know is true.
It’s love like fire, like the end of the world. It’s ancient and terrifying, but it’s yours. You love him powerfully, ruefully. You know he would go to the ends of the world, smite all those in his path, if only you asked.
Even though you try not to, you wake Alpine as you walk past the pair of nappers to enter the house.
She stands and stretches, pressing her paws against James' chest, arching into the sun, and swishing her tail. She jumps off of his lap and rubs against your legs, welcoming you home.
James wakes when Alpine meows loudly, requesting you to feed her.
"How was it today?" James asks through a yawn, shifting his ball cap back up on his head.
He's let the scruff on his jaw grow out just a touch, but his hair stays clipped short, just like the day you'd cut it all those years ago.
You still cut it every few weeks on the back porch.
"Pretty good," you reply, leaning against the door frame. James makes no move to get up from his chair, and you don't mind. He looks good enough to eat right now.
His blue henley stretches perfectly over his muscular chest and arms. His construction job keeps him moving and in shape, which he enjoys. His skin has tanned from all the time outside, giving him a healthy glow compared to the ghostly look he had while living in the compound.
You drop your bag inside and make your way over to James’ sunny spot. You perch yourself on his lap and sink into his embrace, loving the way it feels when he wraps his arms around you.
Over the past few years, you and James dropped any walls that had remained after the move to Vietnam. He opened up to you about some of the torture he’d endured, the missions he’d gone on, and other battles fought in the name of Hydra.
Even though it was difficult, you told him stories of before. Of growing up, of your family. Even, occasionally, of Steve.
James surprised you when he listened to you talk about the man that used to occupy your every thought. He tried to understand, but he never apologized.
And still, you have not asked him to. You don't need one.
"I was thinking of going into town for dinner tonight," James says, squeezing your leg to get your attention.
"That works for me," you say, smiling into James' chest.
Despite all odds, life is good to you and James. You're not sure what either of you has done to deserve it, but you're thankful for it.
You savor every moment.
Later, as you and James eat dinner, you reminisce. The two of you swap stories of your time together. Even the time spent in the compound can now be looked upon through a new lens, one of understanding and what you can only call appreciation.
You know it's messed up, a doctor would call you crazy, but you would not be the person you are today without that experience.
James laughs and nearly chokes as he recalls a moment two years ago when alpine got scared of a cucumber he'd left on the counter. She jumped so far into the air that you were certain she'd hit the ceiling.
You giggle along with him, a movie of memories floating through your mind.
Over the past few years, you and James had turned into a practically normal couple. Lunch dates and evening walks, playing with the kitten before bed, confessions of love in moments of passion.
You never thought you'd have it, the normalcy and simplicity of it all.
Once the sun has set, you and James lay out behind the house on a blanket and watch the stars.
Back in the States, there was too much light from the city to see them. But here, here they are so bright.
You tell James the stories of the constellations and how when you were growing up, you'd thought they were little holes poked in the sky.
"Where'd you think the light was coming from?" he asks, rubbing your back as you curl into his side, resting your head on his chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Steady as a drum, his heart.
"I thought it was the sun." He laughs lightly, and you can't help but join him. "I thought the sun would get tucked in at night, the sky as its blanket. But the blanket was old because the sun had had it for so long, so it had holes in it. That's where the stars came from."
"That's beautiful," he whispers.
"It's silly," you reply, shaking your head at the story you'd just told.
"I thought they were angels, watching everyone and keeping them safe each night." You shift so you can see him as he talks. He stares up at the sky, and the stars reflect in his beautiful blue eyes. "I thought that every night, the angels would come down and sit in their spots in the sky. I wondered if they knew what was happening to me, if they knew what Hydra was doing to me."
Silence stretches over time for a moment as you sit with what he's just said. You don't know how to respond, how to comfort him.
"I know they saw because that's when I found you. You saved me, мой ангел . They sent you to me, and you saved me."
You could spend lifetimes tucked into James' side.
You could spend centuries here under the stars with him.
You could spend millennia loving him.
"There were times when I didn't believe it could work, that we would make it," you whisper.
"I know, but I believed enough for both of us."
The first time you saw him, you thought he couldn't be real. But now you know, you know like you know yourself. You know like you know how to breathe.
Of all the uncertainties in life, you have your constants.
James and Alpine, and that's all you need.
James
Five years with мой ангел , and somehow it is like lifetimes have passed, but at the same time, every day is new as if it were the first.
Every day when I would come home from work, I would find her working on some new project either in our home or in town. She and Alpine befriended everyone they could, and I am happy to share her kindness with everyone around us.
People are wary of me because of my brooding, but I have managed to attract the attention of a few young boys. They like hearing about the world, the places I've been.
Sometimes, I teach them self-defense. I enjoy the lessons, doing something good with the skills that are branded on my DNA.
There is nothing better, though than seeing моя куколка standing in the home we built.
Marriage is not something that either of us are really interested in. We are not religious, nor do we care much about what any government thinks of us.
Instead, a few months ago, we went on a trip to the ocean. We stood knee-deep in the water and bared our souls to each other.
Words like a prophecy poured from her lips, and it brought tears to my eyes. I knew then and there that we would never be parted. This is how it was meant to be.
Now, as we stare up at the stars, I know that I have been given a second chance. A clean slate. A new start.
I will live this life with мой ангел , and I will never take it for granted. I will be the man I want to be, the man she deserves.
She leans up on her elbow, looking down at me now. Her eyes reflect the stars, and I know she is truly an angel. Sent to earth to save me.
The first time I saw her, I knew.
She was mine, and I was hers.
Two lives intertwined by fate.
Translations:
ангел = angel
куколка (f) = little doll
принцесса (f) = princess
please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist must be 18+
General tags- please let me know if you do not want to be tagged in this series
Warnings/Tags: fluff, an addition to the gang, progress <3
series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist
AN: Sorry for another short chapter, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3 Next chapter is the last one 😭 thank you for sticking around and coming on this journey with me :) as always, thank you to my incredible beta @purpleshallot!!
please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! we’re almost done with fic so i can post them once the series is over :)
chapter 8 / chapter 10
Куколка
After a week of watching James build the house on his own, you insist that he let you help. Initially, he'd told you to focus on something else, on getting a hobby or exploring the village, but you'd rather be here. Right next to him, working with your hands.
The ache in your muscles after a day of hauling lumber is so familiar to the ache of training. It feels good to be doing something again.
It's all coming together well; James is more skilled in construction than you thought. He's a good teacher, talking you through the different blueprints he'd drawn up and how to make sure everything is structurally sound.
You no longer need James to guide you through the steps at the end of week two. You know what to do; just a cog in a well-oiled machine.
It's going to be hot today, you heard the weather report on the radio. Part of practicing your Vietnamese is immersing yourself in it, so you insist on listening to the radio every morning.
James comes into the kitchen, drying his hair with a towel while another is wrapped snuggly around his waist. Water drips from his shoulders down his abs, and you follow the trail shamelessly.
He's gorgeous, and all the time in the sun has tanned his skin perfectly.
"You workin' today?" he asks, just like he has every morning since you insisted on helping him. You think he's waiting for you to say no, but you know he enjoys working with you.
"You know it." You put your dishes in the sink and watch James continue to dry his hair. It's gotten so long that he ties it up most days.
Vietnam heat is different than US heat, and you know it's been bothering James.
You dry your hands and pull a stool from the counter out onto the back patio.
"What's going on?" James asks, stepping outside with you.
You just pat the seat of the stool and run inside for a pair of scissors and a comb. James is seated on the stool when you return, watching clouds move slowly through the sky.
"You ready for something new?" you ask, resting your chin on his shoulder, following his eye line.
"Yeah," he whispers as he leans his head to touch yours. You kiss his cheek and straighten up.
You've only ever cut hair once before, and now it feels like a lifetime ago. That was a different you. It was a different time.
Now, as you run the comb through James' still damp hair, you can barely even remember a time before him.
You line the comb up and trim his hair, loving the sound of the scissors snipping through his locks.
You only cut a few inches before James runs his fingers through his hair, feeling the blunted edges.
"It's not enough," he says hoarsely, sucking in a breath. You pause your snipping and rest your hands on his shoulders. Beneath one hand, you feel smooth, muscled skin. Beneath the other, scarred skin mixed with cool metal.
"How much do you want off?" you ask, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath.
"All of it."
You don't question what he wants as you press a kiss to the crown of his head. Inside the bathroom, you find the clippers and an extension cord.
Even though you want to, you don't ask James if he's sure of the decision. You know he's is. He's ready for a change, to shed the skin of Hydra and come into something new.
You're ready for it too.
After setting everything up, you give James a moment to part with his hair. The buzz of the clippers is white noise as you cut his hair. You leave the top longer, opting to just trim it shorter.
James looks at himself in the bathroom mirror a few minutes later and stares in silence.
"Whaddya think?" you ask from where you're leaning in the doorway. You wanted to give him a private moment to process, so you haven't yet come into his space yet.
"I needed it." James steps out of the bathroom and grabs a broom from the kitchen.
You watch as he sweeps up his hair in what you can only call a ritual. He works from one side of the patio to the other, creating a pile of painful and torturous memories.
As James transfers the pile into a dustpan and disposes of it, he looks lighter. A weight taken off his shoulders.
Rain clouds begin to roll in, cooling the air dramatically. You hadn't heard anything about rain on the radio, but you don't mind.
You and James sit on the patio, leaning against the side of the house as raindrops fall from above. All the building materials are covered, nothing will be damaged in the storm.
James' right hand rubs circles in your thigh, and you rest your head on his shoulder.
The rain pounds down from a gray sky; it makes your bones ache.
"I love you," he whispers, his voice nearly drowned out by the sound of raindrops on the roof.
You sit up and look at him, finding that James is already looking at you. Bright blue eyes full of emotion staring right back.
"I love you," you reply. It's easy to let the words flow off your tongue. They feel right. Perfect and sweet.
James kisses you, and the feeling of his lips pressed against yours is familiar. It's home. It's everything.
James
The weight on my chest lifts as she moves her lips against mine. My hands cup her face and I am thankful that I am here with her. That it was her that I went on this journey with.
It is as if with her, I am a new man.
She takes my soul in her palms and wipes it, cleans it of any horrors that remain. She cleanses me, like fire. Like rain.
We sit outside, waiting for the rain to pass. My hands never leave her, desperate for her touch like an addict. She is the same to me, always keeping a point of contact.
When the rain calms to a light drizzle, the two of us pull the tarps off the materials and build our home.
It is not difficult work, and I enjoy it. Creating something instead of destroying it is a welcome change.
Мой ангел tells me stories. Of life before, of her childhood, of princesses and their princes. She hums songs with haunting melodies and sweet harmonies.
The simple beauty of building something with her, of sharing little pieces of each other, brings me a joy I have not felt in a long time.
As the days pass, we fall into the peaceful routine of quiet mornings spent listening to the radio before going out to build for the day. We take turns cooking for each other.
The food I make is never as good as hers, and often I will go into town to get us something instead of cooking. She tells me that I won't get better unless I practice.
I enjoy watching her cook. She hums to herself and dances along to the songs she creates. She moves methodically as if she has a master plan in her mind and can see all the pieces coming together before they truly do.
After another full week of construction, I venture into town on a new mission.
Yesterday, I found out about plans to construct a school in a nearby village. The foreman offered me a job, and after talking to моя куколка, I took the job. She hasn't found work yet, but she's been looking into pottery, so I hope she takes it up.
While I go to work, I don't want her to be alone. My mission today is simple: find the little white cat that roams the street of the village.
I asked around and found that the cat appeared a few days after we arrived. No one knows where it came from, but it needs a home.
I walk around for about 45 minutes before I spot the little creature.
Its white fur is a little matted from the mud and dirt it's been living in, but overall it looks to be in good condition.
After following it around for another few minutes, I find myself in an open area between a few homes. The cat sits, watching me, and I feel oddly... seen. As if the cat can see through whatever walls I have built up around me.
I look around for a moment before sitting a few feet away from the cat. We are in a standoff, each waiting for the other to make a move.
Little does this cat know, I have spent years waiting.
So that is what I do.
I wait.
I wait until the cat gets bored of our game, and curiosity wins out.
It slowly approaches me, and I let it. It investigates me, sniffing out what kind of man I am. I wonder what it thinks of me.
It must not be something awful because the cat climbs up into my lap and rests its head on my thigh.
"You wanna come home with me?" I ask it, slowly bringing my right hand to rest on the cat's back. It purrs loudly, so loudly that it surprises me. I take that as a yes.
"Gonna have to think of a name for you," I say again, shifting the cat so I can pick it up. It purrs again, but I'm not sure if that's a good enough name. I'll have to ask мой принцесса what she thinks.
When I arrive back, I find her listening to the radio out on the patio. I'm not sure what the grainy voice is saying, but she nods along as if having a conversation with the voice itself.
I step onto the creaky wooden steps, and the sound announces me. Мой ангел glances over at me, and when she sees the little bundle of white fur in my arms, she breaks out into the biggest smile I've seen on her in a long time.
"James!" she says excitedly, standing and walking over to meet me halfway. The kitten lifts its head at the sound of her voice and blinks widely at my beautiful принцесса.
"I wanted you to have a friend while I'm working," I explain as she takes the cat from my arms. It loves her instantly. I am not sure there is anything in this world that can resist her magnetic pull.
"She's so cute," мой ангел whispers, gently petting the kitten's head.
"She needs a name." Instantly мой принцесса starts to rattle off names, but none of them feel quite right. She doesn't want something cliché or predictable; she wants something unique. Something that fits.
We go around in circles, discussing the kitten's snow-white fur until the name falls from her perfect lips.
Alpine.
The kitten preens at the name as моя куколка coos. I smile at the sight. I am glad I found the creature and brought it back. She will have a good life with her. With us.
Later that night, I go out and find some cat food and a few toys for Alpine. She will be treated well in her new family.
It's strange to consider us a family now, but it feels good.
There is a sense of security in knowing that I am not spending eternity alone, tortured by my ties to Hydra.
For the first time in lifetimes, I am optimistic about the future. I am thankful for the clean slate, and I cannot wait to see what the universe has in store for мой ангел and me.
As I climb into bed, I find Alpine already snuggled atop my pillow. She is so small, so fragile, yet so full of fire. Just like моя куколка. I don't move Alpine; instead, I wait for мой ангел to lay down, and I rest my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat, low and slow.
The three of us sit in the silence of our borrowed home, and when I fall asleep, I dream of the one I am building for us.
I wonder what Pierce would think if he knew where we were, what we were doing. Would he laugh at how quickly I succumbed to her? Would he be disgusted by my displays of affection?
It doesn’t matter what he would think. I am happy.
I am at peace with myself and the man buried deep inside of me. I no longer fight him; I no longer even think of him. He is me, and every day, I learn more about him.
There is so much to learn from this life, from мой ангел. I can’t wait to spend every day learning, growing, and loving her more than I did the day before.
Translations:
ангел = angel
куколка (f) = little doll
принцесса (f) = princess
please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist must be 18+
General tags- please let me know if you do not want to be tagged in this series
Warnings/Tags: somnophilia, oral (f recieving), mentions of infertility, fluff
series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist
AN: i'm sorry this update is not only late but short :/ i hope you still enjoy it <3 thank you as always to @cwbucky for being an incredible beta, this fic would not have been posted if not for you my dear
please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! we’re almost done with fic so i can post them once the series is over :)
chapter 7 / chapter 9
Куколка
"How'd you know this was here?" you ask as James pulls the car around to a little private jet hangar.
James shuts off the engine and sighs, running a hand through his hair. It's gotten so long that it's almost always in his eyes. "I worked in Madripoor for a bit and had to come through here a few times. Figured it'd be worth a shot to see if anyone left their jets here." You nod, climbing out of the car and following James into the building.
Inside, you see an old jet covered in a thick layer of dust. You can tell it didn't get much use even before Hydra's takeover just by looking at it. James pulls open the door and examines the controls, mumbling to himself as he checks them.
You look over the jet's exterior for any damage, but you don't find any. Hope starts to brighten your thoughts. If James knows how to fly this jet and it works, you can be in Vietnam by tonight.
You watch James go through the motions of inspecting the jet. Though his movements are rehearsed, you wouldn't describe them as robotic. They are muscle memory, almost like a dance.
It comes to you in small moments like this; the realization that James is so much more than a soldier, so much more than the man that Hydra made him.
He catches your gaze, and you see hope in those bright blue eyes of his. Hope. It's such a fleeting, delicate thing. But despite it all, he is hopeful, and you can't help but smile at the sight.
"It can fly?" you ask, curling your fingers into fists with anticipation.
"Yes." Your heart speeds up in your chest. Leaving the United States for Vietnam will change things. You'll know no one there, have no friends, no family. You'll only have James.
Once you leave, there's no going back.
You chide yourself. You've been past the point of no return for so long. The moment you admitted your attraction to James, the moment you gave up on hope for Steve's return, the moment you let James into your mind. You fell off the deep end a long time ago.
James helps you climb into the jet and straps you in. His hands linger on your hips, your ribcage, your neck. He sweetly cares for you in a way you know he wasn't trained to.
This isn't the Winter Soldier. This is James.
Maybe it's not the James that Steve knew, but he's still in there. Little pieces of the man he used to be.
James readies the jet for flight quickly, fueling it up and opening the hangar with an expertise you should have come to expect from him, and then you're off.
Hanoi is beautiful. Maybe it's just because of the change of scenery, but you swear that the colors here are more vibrant. Hydra's cancerous touch hasn't tainted this city, and you breathe better knowing that.
There are people out, living their lives in a way you haven't seen in years. It takes you a moment to adjust to the nostalgic yet unfamiliar feeling of it all.
James stands by your side, a protective hand on the small of your back, as the two of you weave through the streets. You can tell he's on edge because of the number of people around, but you soak it all in and feed off of the energy of the city.
The flight was almost four hours, and the sun is setting by the time you and James find somewhere to stay. A little hostel that hasn't seen many tourists in recent times.
Right outside of the hostel are a few food vendors. You don't know where James got the money, but he pays and even tips the vendor after getting food for the two of you.
You sit on the porch of the hostel, watching the nightlife of Hanoi emerge as you eat. It's almost funny to watch James eat his Phở; the chopsticks and soup spoon look comical in his metal fingers, but he uses them like a seasoned pro.
"Where do we go next?" you ask James, stirring your own soup around with your chopsticks.
"There's a village close by, only 10 or 15 minutes away. I think it's a good option." You nod, savoring the flavors of your Phở. You've had it a few times in the States, but it was never this good.
"And then what?"
Silence sits heavily between the two of you. You'd never spoken about what your future together would look like. Would James even want to be with you now that he's truly free of Hydra? He doesn't seem to think of you as his prisoner anymore, so why would he feel any obligation to remain with you?
"And then we live."
"You want to stay together?" James' eyes dart to yours, clearly taken aback by your assumption that he'd just leave you behind.
"Of course I do." You can tell you hurt his feelings by asking that, and your heart tugs in your chest. Careful not to spill your soup, you shift to press your side against James. You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling him relax beneath you.
"What does the future look like to you?" He takes his time responding. You know what those Hydra documents said and how he reacted. Maybe the plans he once had for the future had to change.
"It looks like you, принцесса. It looks like you and me in whatever you'll let me have you. I want to make you happy; I want to give you the world." He stops himself, but you can tell he wants to say more.
You rub circles on his knee with your fingers, encouraging him to continue. "Those documents," he starts, voice tight. "If what they say is true, then I cannot give you everything."
He means children.
The Hydra documents explained that because of the serum, James is infertile. Your stomach turns at the thought of them performing those tests; you know he did not go into them willingly.
Part of you had already come to terms with this knowledge; Steve was also infertile. The night he'd told you, he'd cried. Steve wanted children more than anything and knowing that he wouldn't be able to killed him inside.
Steve tried treatment after experimental treatment, but because of everything else the serum did to his body, he was resistant to them. You'd told Steve that you didn't care that he couldn't have children. You loved him either way.
Now, as you sit beside James, you want to say the same thing.
"You don't need to give me children to make me happy, James," you say softly. "We can be happy in our own way." You feel him nod, but you know he probably doesn't believe you.
"It is probably for the best that I cannot have children. What kind of father could I be?" You can hear the disgust in his voice, and it sparks anger in your gut. You sit up and grip James' face with both your hands, forcing him to look at you.
"Don't talk like that," you say sternly. "You didn't have any say in the shit they did to you. How do you know you'd be a bad father? You care about me, right? You keep me safe? How do you know that it would be any different with children? You don't. You don't get to talk like that." James' eyes widen at your tone; you've never really spoken to him like that. But he nods in understanding before tipping his head forward to touch his forehead to yours.
"You would be a wonderful mother," he whispers. Your heart tightens in your chest, it aches slightly with what could have been, but the ache dissipates because what use is it to mourn what never could have been.
James looks at you, confused and concerned about what you might say next. You're not sure where your confidence in his ability to parent came from, but you stand by it.
He's been through so much, suffered so much; he deserves the joy and happiness that children can bring to life. It would be difficult, he'd have a lot to learn, but something in your gut is screaming at you that he could do it.
You hadn't given much thought about what it would be like to raise a child you and James had created. What they would look like, and what their personality would grow into.
All the lessons the child would learn.
The world is fucked up and horrible, but a child could be the light at the end of the tunnel.
You sigh and let the conversation fade.
You have James, and that's enough for you.
James
Мой ангел is tired, so she goes to bed before I do. Once she is settled in the room, I step back outside.
It has started to rain, and the moon faintly illuminates the rolling gray clouds that crowd the sky. I cannot tear my mind away from what she said earlier.
I know that мой ангел would have wanted children if things worked out differently. She probably had plans for a family with the Captain before I'd ruined it all.
She has so much love inside of her, so much empathy. She would make a wonderful mother. Her children would grow up to be just like her; kind and sweet and beautiful.
Before her, I had never thought of children. They were merely an inconvenience, a hazard. But when I found her, when I realized that my life would never be the same without her...
To think of something that could be ours, not Hydra's, not SHIELD's, but ours. It makes my head spin and my heart tighten in my chest. Would they look like her? With her beautiful eyes and bright smile? Would they have my dimpled chin and dark hair?
I had never thought of such things before, but now, my heart yearns for them. It is almost like a cruel punishment for all of the pain I have brought onto this world.
Whatever divine power at play does not see me fit to have such joy.
It isn't until the sun is rising that I realize how long I have been away from her.
I return to the bedroom and lay in bed beside her, holding her close to my chest until she wakes. As мой ангел's breathing changes, signaling her starting to wake up, I shift around her and settle myself between her legs underneath the blanket.
She fell asleep just in one of my shirts and her panties, and it is a beautiful sight. I place light kisses along the waistband of her underwear before carefully sliding them down her legs.
I watch her face for any discomfort or confusion, but all I see is a pleasant smile on her features.
She stretches lazily and settles back into the pillows with a sigh as I trail my fingers along her inner thighs.
Моя куколка, always one to please me, opens her legs more, and my mouth waters at the sight of her bare before me. I cannot hold myself back.
My tongue finds her clit, and I slowly lave over it in gentle circles. She tastes sweeter than any fruit; I can't get enough of her. Back in the compound, when I fantasized about what pleasure I could have with a woman, it was always about her pleasuring me. Me taking my pleasure from her.
This is so different. The way that I yearn to taste her, to see her writhing on my fingers and my cock, it's so new. I need her to feel as amazing as she makes me feel; she deserves it.
I have never wanted to make anyone feel anything before. Still, I know that I will not leave this bed, leave her beautiful thighs, until she is begging and pleading for me to release her.
I feel her fingers tangle in my hair and tug. Even in her sleep, she is so powerful and strong-willed. I let her guide my head and tongue where she wants me and as her grip tightens, I know she is waking.
"James," she whispers, voice filled with sleep.
"Принцесса," I reply, lightly biting her inner thigh.
"Please don't stop." So I don't. I pour every piece of me into her, working her up higher and higher until she is so close to that edge, just about to fall over it.
When she comes, her whole body reacts, tightening up into a ball of energy that she unleashes upon me. It is beautiful.
I come up for air, emerging from beneath the blankets to мой ангел panting and blissed out. A smile tugs at my lips, and I wonder if life can truly get better than this.
That is all I thought about last night as I stared at the homes of other people, as I imagined the two of us here in this new place.
Моя куколка finally calmes her breathing and tucks herself into my chest. She is warm against my skin, but I welcome her, running my fingers along her back and neck.
I have never had a home. Houses, places I've lived, of course. But never home. Now, I hold her in my arms; I feel the press of her cheek against my chest, and the ache in my heart eases. She is my home.
When she is out of my sight, out of my reach, I feel what I can only describe as homesickness. It is a new feeling, one that makes me hurt all the way down to my long-lost soul. She is the only remedy.
The drive to Bat Trang is quick but beautiful. Мой ангел gazes out her window the entire time, and every time I glance over at her, I am taken aback by her beauty.
Before her, I never knew such beautiful creatures could exist in such an awful world.
We arrive in the village and leave the car; I want to walk around with her.
The village is known for pottery making, and as we walk around, I see мой ангел's eyes light up at the sight of all the different creations. She wiggles her fingers when she sees a woman forming a beautiful vase. I hope she takes up pottery making.
As we get further into the village, we are greeted by people working outside their homes. My angel smiles, and I can see her settling in already.
Before we arrived in Vietnam, I'd found a man in the village who was looking for someone to care for his home while he traveled for a few months.
I arranged for it to be us. We only have to walk for a little longer until we arrive at his home.
It is small, just one bedroom, a kitchen, and a living area, but it is enough for us.
Мой ангел walks through the home with a pleasant smile on her face the whole time.
"This is perfect," James, she says, placing her hand on my arm. I kiss the top of her head and revel in the simple beauty of the action.
"I have a surprise for you," I say against her hair.
Мой ангел tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as she smiles, unable to hide her excitement for what the surprise could be.
Beside the house is a few acres of empty land. I walk моя куколка out of the building and out toward the middle of the land.
"I want to give you the world," I say, voice tight with emotion that I have not experienced before. "But until then, I want to give you a home."
Confusion flickers across her gaze as she tries to understand what I've just said.
"We already have a place to stay; what do you mean?"
I look around at the land surrounding us. I imagine our possible future, and it finally is within reach.
"This is where I will build our home," I say, turning back to her. I take мой ангел's hands in mine, running my thumbs over her smooth skin. "This is where we will live our lives."
Tears pool in the corner of her eyes, and I release her hands to wipe them away. I know they are happy tears. She is not afraid of me.
"James," she whispers.
"I would burn this world to the ground, raze cities. I would follow you to hell and back. The least I can do for you is give you a home, принцесса ."
She laughs and leans up on her toes to kiss me. She tastes sweet as she presses against me, and I wrap my hands around her waist to pull her closer.
I have already figured out where I will get the materials from and what our home will look like.
When it comes to her, everything is so easy. It all falls into place with little effort. I imagine building our home will be the same.
I look forward to working with my hands, to finally creating something instead of destroying it.
No longer the fist of Hydra, I am fulfilling my new destiny.
Knowing that Zemo was the one to give up our location still makes my blood boil, but despite his hatred for super soldiers, I remain.
John Walker wanted us dead or captured by Hydra, but he failed. At every turn, when someone has been there to stop us, we have fought tooth and nail and won.
It gives me hope; it helps me find peace within myself. There is more to this world than pain and violence. I just have to open my eyes to it.
Translations:
ангел = angel
куколка (f) = little doll
принцесса (f) = princess
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My hands grip every part of her, practically tearing at her to give her what I want. What she needs.
Warnings/Tags: descriptions of violence, blood, character death, fear, oral (m receiving), smut (p in v, unprotected)
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AN: y'all biggest shoutout ever to finn (@cwbucky) for being the most amazing person and beta on the planet!!! I'm so excited for you guys to read this chapter, please let me know what you think <3
please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! we're almost done with fic so i can post them once the series is over :)
chapter 6 / chapter 8
James
My breaths come out shaky as I sit on the cool tile in the bathroom. It is grounding, but I still cannot shake this feeling. It is as if a piece of my soul has been ripped from me. I cannot get the face of that man out of my mind. He has my face, my eyes, but he is not me.
It was like staring into a different world, a different universe. Reading that name, and seeing his face, catapulted me into a different time. One where I was not the Winter Soldier. I was just a man.
"James?" I hear her voice, but I am too far gone in my own mind to react. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, cringing as my metal hand cools the skin of my face.
I feel soft hands on the top of my head, gently scratching my scalp, and I melt into her touch.
"I'm sorry, мой ангел ," I whisper, not yet looking at her. I don't want her to see me like this in a moment of weakness.
"Why are you apologizing?" Her fingers slip between mine, pulling my hands away from my face until she reveals my eyes to her. Even in the harsh light of the bathroom, she looks beautiful.
She releases my hands and coaxes my knees apart so she can fit herself on my lap. She fits perfectly, just like I always knew she would. моя куколка wraps her legs around my torso and rests her hands on the sides of my face, thumbs brushing my cheekbones soothingly.
"I shouldn't have acted that way," I reply, enjoying how it feels to have so much contact with her. She is warm.
"How should you have reacted then?" I don't have an answer, and this seems to prove her point. She huffs out a breath and leans her forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to see it," she says in a quiet voice. I shake my head and wrap my arms around her, pulling her body closer to mine.
I have never been vulnerable before, never opened myself up to someone so they could see all the cracks in my foundation. It strikes me that I should be hesitant to allow her to see this side of me, to be wary of trusting like this. I can't convince myself to push her away, though.
She comforts me until my heart rate slows and my nerves subside. Her breathing is deep and rhythmic as if she is about to fall asleep. I almost wish she would, that she would let me hold her while she rested. She wanted me to last night, but I wasn't ready yet.
I am so focused on the sounds of her breaths that I don't hear Zemo approach. He stands in the bathroom doorway and leans against the wall, watching with an amused gaze.
"What?" I ask, rubbing my right hand over мой ангел 's back in soothing circles.
"I just thought you'd like to know that I have some information about that serum running through your veins." I bristle at the thought. Though I don't remember receiving the serum, my handlers never let me forget that it was the only reason I was not dead yet.
"I don't care," I lie. I want to know what it has truly done to me and what the effects are. Hydra never disclosed that information; now is my chance. At the same time, I don't want to. Some people say ignorance is bliss. Maybe they are right.
"You would be an idiot not to care, Soldat, and I know you are not an idiot." I furrow my brow. Zemo does not know me.
I huff a bit, annoyance making rearing its ugly head. Мой ангел shifts against my chest and lifts her chin to my ear.
"Go, you need to know," she whispers sleepily. I nod and stand, still holding her in my arms. I lay her down in my bed, selfishly hoping that her smell will linger on my sheets long after she gets up.
I walk with Zemo back into the kitchen and stand in front of the computer while he pulls up the file he wants me to read. My stomach turns. I have thought about what the serum has done to me but never with much urgency.
It didn't matter before; I didn't have anyone to care about. Now, though, I have моя куколкаto take into consideration. It is a strange feeling to think of someone else.
When Zemo steps away, I move the computer closer to me and begin to read. On the screen is a description of the serum, but I don't understand most of the language. Eventually, I see an explanation of its effects.
I got taller, stronger, and faster. Apparently, I fell from a train and lost my arm. The only reason I survived was because of the serum.
Subconsciously I roll my left shoulder, shifting the metal plates of my arm. Pain flashes in the scarred tissue, but I ignore it.
I read further and find that the information confirms most of what little I know about the serum. A question nags at my mind, one that I thought would never matter.
The final page of the file makes my stomach turn, but I quickly shut the feeling down. I think part of me always knew this about myself. After everything I have done in this life, I do not deserve to know the happiness this could bring.
I push the computer away and glare at Zemo as I make my way to my bedroom.
Куколка
When you wake up, you feel like you're in a sauna. The blankets are hot and heavy on top of you, so you push them off, welcoming the chill of morning air against your skin.
It's only once the blankets are off that you notice that you're not alone. You turn over and find James lying on his side next to you. His hair is swept over his face, obscuring some of his sleeping features.
The events of yesterday filter back through the sleepy haze in your brain, and a sense of urgency settles. The longer you're here with the Zemo, the more danger you're in.
Even though you haven't had a run-in with any hydra agents, you know they'll find you soon enough. It's only a matter of time.
James shifts in his sleep and breathes heavily. Right now, he is so human. So beautiful and peaceful. Never did you think you'd describe the Winter Soldier as peaceful, but things change.
You want to kiss him. You want to lean down and press your lips to his and kiss him awake, but just as you're about to, you stop yourself.
Last night, even though his mouth was everywhere, he never kissed you. You wanted him to so badly, but he didn't. You won't kiss him until he wants to.
With that thought spinning around your head, you're set on getting you and James out of Zemo's grip, out of Madripoor before it's too late.
Three days pass before you find anything worthwhile. Every moment you aren't around Zemo and his prying eyes, you're searching for something, anything that you can use to get out.
After carefully searching through Zemo's files and the information on James' backup communicator, you find the location of a few SHIELD safehouses across the world. Knowing what you do of the SHIELD resistance, you know these safehouses have been long abandoned, so they should be ideal for you and James.
You show the locations to James that night.
"Some of these are too close to Hydra bases," he says, looking at the communicator's map that you'd pulled up. It gently illuminates his features in a way that reminds you of time before the resistance and Hydra.
You and James sit on a rooftop of a warehouse he'd found, making sure to only discuss your plans away from Zemo.
The light pollution from Madripoor suffocates any stars that might want to shine tonight, but the haze is almost pretty from up here.
"Then which one is the safest distance away?" you ask, gazing down at the street, watching cars and people pass by.
You're ready for some peace. Some quiet. The past few days have been a taste, but you can never fully relax around Zemo.
"Vietnam." His voice is low, pensive. You turn your attention back to him and glance down at the map. It'll be difficult to get to Vietnam, but you know that the country as a whole is no longer of interest to SHIELD or Hydra. It would be safe, as safe as you, a Hydra hostage, and the Winter Soldier can be while on the run.
"Then we'll go to Vietnam." James places a hand on your cheek, thumb rubbing your skin, and when you look into his eyes, you see something new.
He looks almost... happy. You smile at him, and for the first time, he smiles back.
You can tell it feels foreign on his face, the muscles practically stiff from so many years of frowning.
Despite it all, he still looks beautiful.
"When do we leave?" you ask, leaning into his touch. The sounds of Madripoor drown out the thumping of your heart. Maybe he'll kiss you now.
You would welcome it, would relish the feeling of his lips pressing against yours. You wonder if he would kiss you gently, if he would have kindness in this action despite being a hard and dangerous man.
But he doesn't kiss you. You gasp, feeling a sharp pinch in your back. You feel yourself starting to lean forward as the world spins around you.
You try to speak, but the sight of James' smile has disappeared and is replaced with one of concern.
You don't get a chance to ask him what's happening before the world goes dark.
Your head throbs as you come to. As you will your eyes to focus, the smell of damp concrete burns your nose. There's a tightness in your chest; you can't get a full breath.
You try to calm your racing thoughts, it won't help to freak out. You've been trained to handle yourself under pressure; you've gone through hostage situations before. You'll survive this.
You're lying on the cold, hard floor, and your arms are free as far as you can tell. The only thing keeping you in place is the cuff and chain around your ankle attached to the floor.
When you're finally able to focus your eyes, your stomach sinks. The eerily familiar cement walls and floors remind you of your cell in the Hydra compound, but you know you're not back there.
There's no way you were out for that long.
You realize you're not alone. A man sits in a metal folding chair across the room from you, watching as you wake back up.
The man isn't James. He is blond with blue eyes that glow despite the dim lighting in the room. When you take in the uniform he's wearing, it all clicks.
The black and red uniform fits his body well; it has been tailored to him. But what catches your eyes is the Hydra emblem in the center of his chest.
"Welcome to the land of the living, sweetheart," he says, smirking. You push yourself up from the floor. His voice sounds so familiar. You swear you've seen him somewhere before.
"What did you do?" you ask instead, racing to place him in your mind. If you can figure out who he is and how you know him, you might have a better shot of getting out of here.
"There's a nice reward on that pretty little head of yours. I was free, so I figured I'd do a favor for an old friend."
He shifts in his seat, spreading his legs more. You realize the uniform looks eerily similar to Steve's Captain America uniform.
Bile rises in your throat.
"What did you do to James?" Your voice is tight. It takes everything in you not to scream.
He chuckles under his breath as he stands and walks toward a door you hadn't noticed before. The door slides open, and the man hauls James' limp body out from the other room.
His face is bloody and bruised; you doubt he would go down without a fight. His hands are cuffed behind his back, and his ankles are bound tightly together.
The sight of him like that fuels a wave of dark anger inside you. His face, uniform, and hands are all covered in blood. Some of it is dark and crusted, while most of it seems fresh, still dripping from him. James put up a fight. There is no doubt in your mind that he would have gone to the ends of the earth to prevent you from being hurt.
The man leans down and grabs James by his hair, lifting his head off the ground enough for you to see the damage done.
Even though his lids droop, you can see he's still conscious.
"Are you going to kill us?" you ask, blood rushing in your ears. The man shakes his head.
"Not if I don't have to. The two of you are wanted dead or alive. I don't care too much about your boyfriend here, but I know two people in particular that want you alive and kicking when I bring you back."
Rumlow and Rollins. Your stomach turns at the thought of being back in their grasp.
"Don't fucking touch her, Walker," James groans from the ground. When he says the name, everything clicks.
John Walker. A highly decorated military Captain who had tried to be recruited by SHIELD but was turned away. He must have been picked up by Hydra when they took over.
"I don't think you have much say over what I do, big guy," Walker says, dropping James' head back to the concrete.
"Fuck you, John," James grunts. A flicker of a smile passes over your face. If he's still fighting, you need to too.
Walker rolls his eyes as he checks his communicator. Someone must be trying to contact him because he quickly checks your restraints and then jogs out of the room.
The second he shuts the door behind himself, you scramble toward James. The chain is just long enough for you to reach his practically lifeless form.
"James," you say, running your fingertips along his face. "James." You push him onto his side in case he has internal bleeding and try to see his other injuries.
"I'm okay, принцесса . It's not too bad." You shake your head, you know he has enhanced healing, but you don't believe him.
"How do we get out of here?" you ask, brushing his hair from his face. It's sticky with his blood.
"Get yourself out of that cuff. When he comes back, you attack him and grab his gun." James is struggling to speak; his voice is shaky and tight. "I don't think he's heavily armed. He's a cocky sonofabitch. You kill him and get the key to my cuffs. I can't break them. I've been trying." To prove his point, James adjusts his metal arm and tries to break out of the manacles. It doesn't work.
"Okay," you whisper, looking back at where the chain anchors you to the ground. The cuff around your ankle is a little big, but you're not sure if you'll be able to get out of it. You don't know when Walker is coming back, but you have to take the risk. "Okay."
"You're strong, принцесса . Don't doubt yourself." Even though his words are simple, they comfort you. You doubt James has said anything like that to anyone in a long time. If he's saying it now, he truly means it.
You nod and crawl back to the anchor and work at the cuff around your ankle.
Your ankle is a bloody mess by the time John returns, but you manage to eventually work your foot out of the cuff. It is more painful than you expected, tears burn in your eyes, but you don't stop until you're free.
You place the chain around your foot to give off the appearance that you're still connected to the floor, and a moment later, Jahn walks back into the room.
This time, he's wearing the cap and mask that go with his uniform. When he turns his back to you to shut the door, your heart stops beating.
The world tilts on its axis.
Strapped to John Walker's back is the Captain America shield.
It looks different; they ruined it. Instead of the bright white star that usually adorns the shield's center, the skull and tentacled emblem of Hydra has been scratched into the metallic surface.
The blue stripes are now black, but you can see bits of it peeking out.
"You like what you see, sweetheart?" Walker sneers, pulling the shield off his back. He tosses it in the air and catches it effortlessly. "When I bring you two back to the compound, they're gonna make me a new one. This one's a little dinged up."
He throws the shield, and it bounces off two of the walls before ricocheting back into his hand.
"That's not yours," you whisper as a tear falls down your face. James practically growls, and you drop your eyes to him. You're not sure what's upsetting him so much, but you don't have time to worry about it.
"No, I guess it's not." He stalks toward you, spinning the shield. It dawns on you that Hydra would have had to dig for that shield to give it to him.
It was buried in the rubble with Steve. It was gone.
Walker crouches down in front of you, and you bite your tongue. You want to scream at him that he'll never be half the man that Steve was, but you don't let yourself do it.
You need to focus.
Walker leans in close, so close that you can feel his breath on his face. You grip the chain around your ankle until your knuckles go white.
"Go to Hell, Walker," you whisper. He smiles and tilts his head, examining you. When his eyes fall to your ankle, you strike.
You wrap the chain around John's neck and pull it tightly, throwing your body weight over him.
The shield slips from his fingers as his hands claw at yours, trying to get you to let go.
You don't. You won't.
He's so much stronger than you; you need to get to the gun before he does. It's difficult to wrap your limbs around his torso, but you manage to knock his gun out of the holster.
John amps up his fighting when he realizes what you've done. He flips you over, and you land hard on your back. Just as he slams you to the ground, you kick the gun toward James.
"Fucking bitch," Walker growls as his hands circle around your throat. You thrash and kick beneath him. You won't die like this.
You hear shuffling somewhere behind you, but all you can see are Walker's blue eyes filled with darkness and hatred. "You're still plenty valuable to me dead, bitch. I don't give a shit if you die right here right now."
You bring your knee up and try and kick him between his legs, but James throws himself at John just as you're about to. The two men topple over, and you suck in a breath.
James is still cuffed, so he can't fight, but you're close enough to the gun that you grab it with shaking fingers.
Adrenaline rushes through your blood, and you take aim.
John stands above James, kicking him in the ribs, but as you load a bullet into the gun's chamber, he halts his movements.
You shoot as he turns around. The kickback of the gun is stronger than you're expecting, so you don't hit him where you want.
The bullet hits his shoulder, but he doesn't go down.
"Wrong choice." You load another bullet into the chamber, but you don't get the chance to shoot him again. He's on you in a second, knocking you to the ground.
Your head slams against the concrete, but he doesn't continue beating you. Instead, he begins to speak in Russian. The words are distantly familiar, and you realize what he's doing.
He's trying to bring out the Winter Soldier.
James
John Walker speaks my trigger words as if they were in his mother tongue. I feel my blood boil at the sound of them.
"Желание, Ржавый, Семнадцать."
Pain erupts in my mind, but I fight. I fight harder than I've ever fought. I strain against the handcuffs.
"Рассвет, Печь, Девять." My metal arm whirrs, and I hear the cuffs creaking with the pressure.
From the corner of my eye, I see мой ангел curl in on her side, clutching her head surrounded by a little halo of blood.
"Добросердечный, Возвращение на Родину, Один."
My hands fly free of the cuffs, and I push myself up from the cement floor. Walker's back is no longer to me. He must have heard me get up.
"Товарный вагон." He smirks, thinking he has successfully wiped my mind and returned me to my robotic state.
I roll my shoulders back and keep my face blank. "Я готов отвечить (ready to comply)," I say smoothly as I walk around the room, looking for other exits. I try to hide my disbelief that the trigger words did nothing to me. It felt like I was being torn apart as he spoke them aloud, yet here I stand; still me, still in control of myself.
There is no reason that I can think of that would explain why they no longer work. The only thing that has changed is her. I almost laugh at the thought of all those years of torture being erased by a beautiful woman and her affections, but I contain myself. I need Walker to believe for a few moments longer.
My boot knocks the shield, and I nearly cringe away from it.
The sight of this metal contraption brought мой ангел to tears. The thought of him, of the Captain, did that to her.
I lean down and pick it up, spinning it between my fingers. When I walk back to Walker, he eyes me warily.
"Grab the girl. We need to go," he says, reaching out to take the shield from me. I smirk as he places a hand on it.
"No." I swing around and slam into his chest with my metal arm. Walker falls back, and that is when I know I have won.
He struggles to catch his breath and stand back up as I take my time walking toward him. I toss the shield back and forth in my hands as I stand with one foot on either side of his chest.
"Lookin' strong, John," I say, a true and genuine smile plastered on my face. How is it that the thought of taking this man's life is what makes me feel more human than ever?
John gasps, but I don't give him the chance to speak. I bring the shield down on his neck and relish the feeling of his blood splattering across my face.
I hear моя куколка gasp out in surprise, but I know she will be okay.
My arms move without me telling him to, slamming the shield over and over onto Walker's face and neck until he is nothing more than roadkill.
When I finally stand, I am light-headed from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I turn to look at моя принцесса , still cradling her head a few feet away, and go to her.
"James?" she asks quietly, not cowering away from me. I know I am covered in Walker's blood; I must look awful, but she isn't scared of me. She's worried about me.
"It's okay, ангел ," I whisper, placing one of my hands against the cut on the back of her head. It's small and mostly has stopped bleeding, but it is causing her pain.
She sits up and crawls into my lap without me prompting her to, wrapping her arms and legs around me.
Even though it probably is not wise to, we sit, holding each other for what feels like hours. Her body warms me, and her soul reaches mine.
Even though I have just killed a man, and turned him into a pulp, I feel at peace.
Finally.
Before we leave the warehouse, I search Walker's body. I check his communicator and find that Zemo was the one to give up our location to Hydra, who then employed Walker to find us.
They were going to reward him generously. I refuse to let my mind drift to what Rumlow and Rollins would have done to мой ангел had she been returned to them.
The moment I saw John, I knew Zemo had betrayed us. The confirmation just fuels my anger. We cannot risk going back to the hotel, so we don't. The few belongings we have will be left behind.
I carry мой ангел out to the street and quickly hotwire a car without drawing attention to us.
Covered in blood, we drive through the night until we get to the edge of the city. I have been here a few times, and I easily navigate to a small neighborhood I had once traveled through.
The homes here are small and close together, but it is unlikely we will be found here. I pull into the driveway of a clearly vacant house and carefully carry моя принцесса inside.
"James, I can walk," she says, not trying very hard to protest. I can tell she enjoys being so close to me, and I enjoy the feeling of her body pressed against mine.
"I know."
We move through the house, checking each room for signs of life. The electricity and water work, but no one lives here. The owners probably left recently, which works in our favor.
After going through the whole house, we end up in the master bathroom. The light is soft, but we are a sight in the mirror.
Bloody and bruised, she is so delicate in my arms.
I set her down on the sink and turn on the shower. Wordlessly, she lets me undress her. When she is bare before me, she undresses me. I allow her hands to explore my body as steam fills the bathroom.
When the water warms enough, we both step into the shower. We wash each other with gentle fingers, massaging knotted muscles and sore limbs.
Her fingers rub shampoo into my hair, and I practically moan at her touch. She has so much power over me. I hope she knows.
Even when we are both clean, we stand under the stream, watching each other.
"Why won't you kiss me?" she asks, running her fingers over my chest and ribs. She traces scars and old wounds, and memories of pain flicker through my mind.
"I needed to know for sure," I reply, placing my hands on either side of her face. I cup her cheeks, letting the water cascade down her skin.
"Needed to know what?" she asks, furrowing her brow. She is beautiful, so beautiful.
"I needed to know that you were mine." She sucks in a breath, and I grin.
I watch a few emotions flicker across her face. She no longer tries to hide her feelings from me.
"I'm yours, James," she admits, though I already knew. Even though she was in love with the Captain, even though the sight of his shield brought her so much pain, I already knew.
But to hear her say it, to stand here, naked before me, and tell me that she is mine? It is like a drug.
She intoxicates me, and because I am drunk on мой ангел , I admit my secret to her.
"And I am yours, принцесса ." My fingers tighten slightly around her face as she smiles.
I lean toward her and run my nose over her face, tracing her features, teasing what is to come. I know she wants me to kiss her, but I need her to want it more than air. More than she wants life.
My tongue darts out and tastes her bottom lip, and she whimpers at the feeling.
When I hear her make that beautiful sound, I can no longer hold myself back.
I press my lips against hers, devouring her taste and the feeling of it all. I wonder if she can sense my slight apprehension; she must because after a moment, she guides me in the kiss. I feel her confidence grow. Her tongue gently swipes against the seam of my lips, and I release a big breath. Having her like this? Nothing could be better. She is so soft and pliant against me, and she grips my shoulders tightly. She wants me and is so horrible at hiding it.
Kissing her awakens something inside of me that I thought was long gone, a part of me that is unfamiliar.
Her taste bombards my senses, and I break the kiss, taking in the sight of her blown pupils. Without breaking my stare, she sinks down to her knees.
My fingers slide into her hair, gripping her scalp as she takes in the sight of my cock in her face. Even though it isn't how I imagined it all happening, I can admit that seeing мой ангел on her knees is heavenly.
I don't guide her head or push her. Instead, my hands follow her movement as her tongue traces the length of me.
She takes me into her mouth, stretching her lips around the head of my cock, and I help her guide her head down.
I feel her gag around me, her throat struggling to accommodate my size, but she doesn't pull away.
"Fuck, принцесса ," I moan, leaning my shoulders against the cool tile shower wall. She smiles around my cock and looks up at me with watery eyes. "You take me so well." She nods and picks up her pace, sucking me harder.
Pleasure builds in the base of my spine, and I grip her hair tighter. Even though her mouth is busy, the way she gives me the weight of her head tells me that she wants me to take over.
I press her head further and further down on my cock, making her take more and more of my length. I work her down until her nose brushes against my skin. My cock is all the way down her throat, and when I feel her swallow around me, I practically come right then and there.
She is so perfect, taking me like this, and I tell her as much. She smiles again, loving how she pleases me.
Мой ангел sputters, and I let her come up for air. I scoop her into my arms, shut off the shower and toss her onto the bed.
I crawl over her and position her the way I want before I let my dick slide back and forth over her wet pussy, nudging her clit. She whines.
"I don't think you want it bad enough," I taunt, loving the way her body shakes beneath me.
She chokes on another whine, trying to hold it in, but she fails. I reach down and press two of my fingers inside of her, feeling how tight she is.
"Please, James," she groans as I pump my fingers in and out, hitting the sweet spot inside of her.
"Please what, принцесса ?" I lean down and taste her skin, licking from between her breasts all the way up to her jaw. As she tries to formulate words, I bite into the soft skin of her neck. She's so worked up, so on edge. She is beautiful like this.
"I need you."
Those three words are like a kick in the chest. They take my breath away, and for a moment, my fingers stutter, but I won't let her off that easily. I love hearing her beg, and I love hearing her say that she needs me.
I angle my hips back so my dick notches the entrance of her pussy, and she moans at the feeling.
"Well, here I am, ангел ." I thrust into her, not allowing time for her to accommodate to my size, but I know she likes it. The way she arches into me, begging me for more, tells me so.
"Oh my god, James," she moans, throwing her head back onto the mattress. I feel like I can't breathe; it's so good.
My hands grip every part of her, practically tearing at her to give her what I want. What she needs.
I fuck her with a passion I never knew myself capable of. This isn't only about pleasure but about proving to her just how much power she has over me. Just how much she owns me.
"Please, James, please," she begs, gripping the sheets below her.
"Here you go, принцесса. I’ve got you." She comes as I fuck into her harder, pulsing around my cock. It sends me over the edge, and I feel myself empty inside of her hot pussy.
It is pure ecstasy, and the second it's over, I want it again and again.
Once I clean her up and tuck her in, моя куколка falls asleep easily. This time, I crawl into bed beside her and hold her against my chest.
The feeling of her breaths on my neck calms me despite the way my mind races thinking of our next steps.
Tomorrow morning, we need to leave. I know where we can find a small jet, one that I know how to fly. We can get to Vietnam, and we will finally be free.
Hydra will not be able to find us there; I will make sure of it. Never again will I allow моя куколка to be taken from me.
She is mine, mine to protect and care for.
A new warmth spreads through my chest as I hold her body against mine. I know that this is my purpose; this is what I was made to do.
Not to kill or be a secret weapon, but to be hers. 'Til the end of the line.
Translations:
ангел = angel
куколка (f) = little doll
принцесса (f) = princess
please let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist must be 18+General tags - please let me know if you do not want to be tagged in this series
I need her like I need to breathe; I can wait no longer.
Warnings/Tags: descriptions of violence, slight dub-con warning for a moment in the chapter, smut (unprotected, p in v), oral (f receiving)
series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist
AN: here's that smut I mentioned lmao... thank you @cwbucky for not only hyping me up way too much, but for being an incredible beta <3 this fic wouldn't be where it is today without you!!!
please feel free to send me any requests for one-shots /drabbles /headcanons you have for this series!! we're at the halfway point in the fic so i can post them once the series is over :)
You wake to the fading image of his beautiful smile and the sound of heavy footsteps, signaling the beginning of your new life of nightmares.
Warnings/Tags: canon-typical violence, character death, swearing, description of injury, blood
series masterlist | my masterlist | ao3 | @hydravictrix | fic playlist
AN: I'm so excited for this first chapter!! Please let me know what you think <3 huge thank you to @candlelight-letters and @cwbucky for beta reading this for me!!!
Not very often, honestly. I started this blog with offcast but she recently left tumblr, and I'm not sure I'm going to maintain it other than leaving it here for people to see.
— PAIRING: Soft!Dark!Winter Soldier x Female!Reader
— SYNOPSIS: While working on the Tesseract for Stark, an accident happens that transports you into an alternate reality in which Hydra won, you’re married to the Winter Soldier, and as if that’s not concerning enough, he wants to breed you.
— S/WARNINGS: 18+ NSFW, non/dub-con smut, Hydra Victory AU, forced marriage & breeding, wife taming, Soldat being a sassy husband, possessive behaviour, slow burn, heavy breeding kink, another chapter-specific warnings will be listed separately.
— C/WARNINGS: None ⚠
— WORDCOUNT: ~ 1k
— A/N: This story is co-written with my dearest @bvccy 💗, beautiful dividers by the @maysdigitalarts 🥰
It had been a day filled with excitement, and it wasn’t nearly over. After the expedition in which they found the Tesseract, the team brought it under the strictest security to SHIELD headquarters. It even felt strange to be back after spending weeks in the desert, beneath the fragile crumbling rocks with a sea of sand expanding all around. The crater was a dead giveaway and had made your job a little easier, at least, but the days were punishingly hot and the nights so very, very cold. Hauling the prize back with something akin to a military parade of personnel felt like stepping out of the ancient world and into a new one. Now, back in the more temperate climate of the concrete and glass jungle that called itself modernity, you looked on with some anxiety as they carried the precious parcel in.
“Be careful!” you called to the staff moving the box a floor below. They were balancing it between the 6 of them like it was a coffin. “You can’t let the suspension field get out of balance!”
“They’ll take care of it, don’t worry,” smiled Dr. Banner, standing by your side.
In this alternative universe, Hydra is victorious. The Winter Soldier is their biggest hero, a living legend, and a symbol of Hydra’s strength. The Avengers are defeated (but may or may not still exist as a resistance force). Now that the world belongs to them, how will Hydra run it?
An AU which is open for all writers and creators to participate in. The details, timeline, and possible tropes are completely up to you, every story can be different. The rating can be anything from teen to 18+.
— RULES
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG > Hello, we are Sasha aka @offcast-plus1 and Polly aka @bvccy, and we started this as a place to keep track of fics that took place in a Hydra AU. We will be updating the masterlist as new fics are posted, but we’ll also keep an eye out for things such as moodboards, playlists, edits, etc.
HOW TO BE INCLUDED > Simply tag us with @hydravictrix, or tag your post with #HydraAU.
RECOMMENDED CHARACTERS > There are no forbidden characters, but in these stories you’ll likely encounter the Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes, Alexander Pierce, Captain Hydra/Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow, Natasha Romanoff, Baron Zemo, and others [to be added]
ACCEPTABLE WARNINGS > You can make your story completely soft and fluffy, but you’re also free to include 18+ NSFW topics such as smut, non-con, dub-con, kidnapping, violence, unprotected sex, praise kink, breeding kink, creampie, fingering, choking, loss of virginity, forced marriage, bondage, cockwarming, oral sex, A/B/O, and others [to be added]
UNACCEPTABLE WARNINGS > Please don’t include anything too off-putting, such as underage sex, slash, daddy/mommy kink, watersports, polyamory, cheating, scat, non-canonical torture, religious references, or explicit violence toward women/children/animals.
⸻ [AO3] [MOODBOARDS] [PLAYLISTS] [EDITS]
WINTER SOLDIER X READER
Last update - 13th of December 2021 🔥
UNDER CONTROL → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You thought you could get away with betraying Hydra’s plans to the Avengers, but you got caught, and Director Pierce knew just the way to punish you.
KNIFE GAMES → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You were kidnapped by the Winter Soldier but in the most unlucky moment your skin issues act up.
DARLING DEAREST → @sugarplum1996 [18+ / fluff]
↳ The Winter Soldier is now married to a good girl and must perform his husband duties.
SURRENDER → @bvccy [18+ / noncon]
↳ Reader is part of a resistance group after Hydra has conquered the world. When the Winter Soldier catches her, she offers herself to him in exchange for their lives.
TAME ME → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳ You came face to face with the most powerful Alpha being a Beta in the cruel, new world dominated by Hydra.
MONSTER → @sgt-seabass [18+]
↳ During the Hydra takeover, the Winter Soldier becomes infatuated with a girl who makes him feel whole.
SELECTION → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / noncon]
↳You’re an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D agent whose mission is to defeat Hydra from inside, but things get very difficult when you have to meet Hydra’s best agents - the Winter Soldier and Captain Hydra.
A HAUNTING FACE → @sugarpplum [Angst/Fluff]
↳The daughter of a politician is taken as consequence of his subversive behavior, she’s the only way to make him submit. Now she must deal with the outcomes of it and how to live with the Winter Soldier.
ALABASTER → @bvccy [Angst]
↳ A world-shattering event leads to a world where everything is unstable, society has collapsed, and in the chaos, Hydra has taken over. To try to stabilise the world, they seek to sacrifice young women in a strange ritual, and it is the Winter Soldier’s duty to transport her to it.
CLOSE AIN’T CLOSE ENOUGH → @a-fictional-mens-whore [18+ / noncon]
↳You will never forget the day they took you. Not that you ever expected yourself to get kidnapped, but if you did, it was definitely not like this.
SHARING IS CARING → @a-fictional-mens-whore [18+ / noncon]
↳ Hydra needs some important information, sending you to get them from their prisoner, the famous Captain America. But the Winter Soldier doesn’t like sharing what’s his.
HIS PREY → @a-fictional-mans-wife [18+ / dubcon]
↳When you had agreed to the mission from Hydra, all you had paid attention to was the high reputation that you would achieve if you got the job done. It hadn’t crossed your mind that you would have to work harder than usual to earn that.
RUNNIN’ IN CIRCLES → @offcast-plus1 [18+ / dubcon] 🔥
↳ You try to run away from a Hydra facility, but the Winter Soldier doesn’t want to let you go.
