[hydrngea]

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reminder: i interact from @withbeautyandrage

prev. @/rafes-bae

ੈ✩‧₊˚ A. she/her. 18. estp. obx / interactive fiction sb. currently unhealthily obsessed with many fictional men . ੈ✩‧₊˚.

links !!!

ੈ✩‧₊˚. masterlist | fic recc. library | ao3 | latest fic | tags ੈ✩‧₊˚.

[maybankslover]

hey everyone!! this lovely person has sent me this screenshot of a user that's been posting my works and for what it seems a lot of other writers too, i don't use wattpad but im loging into my old account to talk to the person doing this (even tho i know they'll probably block me or whatever.) the audacity. it has more views than probably most of my works here 😂😂

authors that in the screen are seen: @mrsstarkey1 @hydrngea @disturbedbeautywrites @astroluvbug

[hydrngea]

👎👎👎read the og works !!!!

[ruerecs]

𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑎𝜈𝘰𝑢𝑟𝑖𝘵𝑒 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝘵𝑒𝑟𝑠.

TOP GUN.

@sometimesanalice

@roosterforme

@bussyslayer333

@hangmanssunnies

@withahappyrefrain

@attapullman

@thewulf

@mothdruid

@vivalas-vega

@sehnsuchts-trunken

@beyondthesefourwalls

@tip-top-cloud-surfer

@laracrofted

@writingdumpster

@foreverrandomwritings

OUTER BANKS.

@xveenusx

@moremaybank

@sevenwivesofrafecameron

@obxologies

@mrsstarkey1

@strstab

@vampiretendencies

@maybankswhore

@fandomxpreferences

@winchester-books

@jjs-bitch

@onsunnyside

@sunraies

@boneblushed

@hydrngea

THE WALKING DEAD.

@optimist-pine

@d1xonss

@weretheones

@cultofdixon

MARVEL.

@webslingingslasher

@waitimcomingtoo

@literalia

@cosmal

@luveline

@spiderfunkz

@mediocre-daydreams

@mvltisstuff

@chvoswxtch

@ohcaptains

@thyme-in-a-bubble

@violentdelightsandviolentends

@chellestrash

@gxtitobxby

@biblio-smia

BTS.

@onlyswan

@thvhoe

@gimmethatagustd

@jkstompers

@bratkook

@sxtaep

@jimilter

@whatifyoulivelikethat

@kimvvantae

@missgeniality

RED DEAD REDEMPTION.

@cowboydisaster

@twola

STRANGER THINGS.

@hungharrington

@appocalipse

@munsonsreputation

@lovebugism

@strangerstilinski

@taintedcigs

i LOVE all of these writers make sure you give their fics a read and show them some love!! if you want to be removed and want your fics to stop being recommend msg me :)

[hydrngea]

thank you so much for mentioning me !!! please go give these author authors some love everyone ! 💓

[hydrngea]

perfect pick masterlist

series summary

↳ you. your best friends brother. a tiffany and co necklace. a tenth birthday party. a year of friendship. seven years of avoidance. a broken chain. a midsummers. who knew it only took a prefect pick to change everything? dedicated to RED by taylor swift

part 1 : perfect pick (message in a bottle)

↳ rafe doesn’t care about your 10th birthday party. yet somehow, he managed to make his gift a perfect pick. featuring mama cameron.

part 2 : it’s nice to have a friend

↳ there was a period of time between your 10th and 11th birthday where you and rafe would be considered almost friends.

part 3 : soon you’ll get better / right where you left me

part 4 : delicate

[hydrngea]

hey guys! long time no see. sorry for falling off the face of the earth but for some good news, perfect pick part 3 is out tomorrow!!!!

[hydrngea]

hello i don’t want to be rude or anything. i would just like to ask if you liked the idea fic i sent not so long ago with like a song promt from billie bosa nova. also congratulations on hitting 1k followers <3333

hi thank u so much for the love! and yes I SWEAR I AM IN LOVE W IT. i’m just an insanely slow writer w requests because i need them to be perfect but istg i loved it and am working on it!!!!!! i’ve been a fan of billie bosa nova since the album came out and my gatekeeper ass is lowk mad people are hoping on the billie bosa nova train BEHEJEJ but lightheartedly 💓

[hydrngea]

🦀- cym as mcu characters

i hate to break it but the only mcu movies i’ve watched are the iron man’s captain america and black panther

[hydrngea]

OOH IM THE ANON FROM THE LAST ONE AND ILL BE MAYBE 🌷if that’s alright??

OKAY OKAY SO CUTE HELLO FLOWER FRIEND

[hydrngea]

🥥 pls and thank you. congrats again on 1k 💓

🥥i’ll give you a summer song recc from my playlist!

hi!!! i miss you, it’s been a while <333 thank u sm love!

here’s a song that reminds me so much of early june

1000 follower celebration

[hydrngea]

HEY BABES CONGRATS ON 1K YOU DESERVE IT

🦀

Cym as obx characters?? (I LIVE FOR SEEING THESE GAMES THEYRE SO FUNNY AND CUTE)

(I promise, I do follow you- I’m just shy 😭😭)

🦀 send a game for me to play!

omg nonny pls don’t be shy i won’t bite i swear !!!

okay i love this! it’s been a min since i’ve talked to a lot of my moots since i’ve been awol cuz finals but i swear i love u all still <33

@illicitfixations - sarah cameron

@bbangsuns - cleo

@mvybanks - kiara

1000 follower celebration!

[hydrngea]

it’s nice to have a friend

a/n : it’s finally here! perfect pick part 2!!! sososososo sorry for the wait. irl stuff got in the way of me working on this. again. severely unedited. sorry 🫣

notes : fic can be read as a one shot or connected to perfect pick 2. part 3 tbd. this one is full of rafe fluff!

summary : maybe rafe was a little bit more than just ur best friends brother.

part one | series masterlist | masterlist

there was a period of time between your tenth birthday and your eleventh where you and rafe were actually friends. real friends. almost comparable to the way you and sarah were.

——

for some reason sleep feels impossible tonight. even though sarah’s deep into her oblivion. even though her ceiling is darkened and even though the room is quiet save for the gentle ticking of the alarm clock on her nightstand.

you decide to blame it on thirst, pulling yourself out of your sleeping bag and carefully slipinhg out her bedroom while walking on the tips of your toes.

you’re familar with the layout of tannyhill. It’s practically been your second home ever since you were born. you’ve had hundreds of sleepovers with sarah and spent many holidays with the cameron’s; your families were just so close.

you make your way towards their kitchen and startle a little when you realize someone else is there,too. you still suck at reading manual clocks but you guess that it’s sometime after midnight.

“ah!” you yelp and the person turns around while agressivly shushing you.

“why are you screaming?” rafe whisper yells as he sets a pint of ice cream onto the island.

“you scared me.” you respond with a much quieter tone, looking down at your feet and avoiding eye contact.

you hear a snicker come from him, “are you wearing unicorn pajamas? aren’t you ten?”

you wrap your arms over your chest, insecurely covering up the horn of the large creature printed into your nightgown.

“isn’t it too late at night to be eating ice cream?” yoy quip back.

rafe gestures to the clock on the wall beside him. “isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“isn’t it past yours?”

you can faintly tell that he rolls his eyes at that, and he brings a spoonful of ice cream up to his lips.

“what flavor it that?” you question, approaching his spot behind the island.

his voice is muffled due to the ice scream still melting in his mouth, “didn’t you say it’s too late to be eating ice cream right now?”

“i’m just asking what flavor, rafe.”

he’s quiet for a moment before responding with a sigh. “chocolate.”

he tells you because he knows it’s your favorite. you’re a chocolate girl through and through- it was the flavor of your birthday cake at your party a couple of weeks ago, as it had been for all your previous birthdays before.

your eyes light up and his chest swells in a weird way he puts off as a delayed brain freeze. “can i have a bite?”

to your surprise he says yes, pulling out a spoon from the drawer besides him and handing it to you. he holds the pint close to you so you can take a scoop, and just when the metal of the utensil touches the cold desert he raises the container up so you can’t reach it.

he’s only a year older than you, but even the slight difference makes him a whole lot taller than you. you hop and chase him all around the kitchen in attempt to retrieve the ice cream and it makes you so angry that he’s having fun in your suffering; almost as much as it makes you feel like you’re gonna melt because he’s having fun. with you.

you let out a huff and stop your chasing, and he finally walks back towards you and let’s you have the pint.

You snatch it out of his grasp, making your way to the kitchen stools with him following closely behind you. he brings his spoon too, and you roll your eyes when he nudges you for some more of the ice cream. you tilt the container in your hands towards him and he digs into it once more.

The lopsided smile he sends you in response is enough to freeze your heart and melt any annoyance you felt towards him.

—————————-

you knuckles rap against his bedroom door. the same pattern as you’ve been doing for the past 4 months, sneaking out of sarah’s bright pink bedroom and into rafes contrasting blue.

he lets you in and you find solace ontop of his large gaming chair, having unofficially claimed it as your own. rafe let’s you take over it without complaint, lately opting to to settle beside the wall across from you instead of his own seat.

you get tossed a dvd case and you barely catch it. your eyes graze over the cover and take in the title. you let out a huff, “why do we always watch the movie you choose?”

rafe pauses for a split second before responding.

“but it’s the dark knight.”

you throw the case back at him, the plastic hitting his arm. “ouch.” rafe mutters, rubbing at the aggictated skin.

“this is a boy movie.”

he snorts. “i’m a boy.”

you cross your arms over your chest. “i’m not.”

it’s true, he always manages to convince you to watch what he picks out. but the dark knight is the best action movie ever. can’t you just let it slide one last time?

you glare at him and rafe relents, as he always does when it comes to you. he lets out a sigh and slides his box full of dvds towards you. “fine. find an alternative.”

it seems like you know exactly which movie you want to watch. you pull it out and feed it into the dvd player, grinning.

“we’re not watching it.”

“why? are you too scared, rafey?”

He scoots on the floor closer next to you. “No. Its just a stupid movie.”

You giggle, pulling his blanket off his bed and wrapping it around your torso. “You’re just a scary cat.” You shrug.

“am not.”

“are too.”

rafe sucks in a tense breath. he knows he can’t get out of this.

“turn it on?”

“are you sure you won’t pee your pants, rafey.”

he reaches forward and grabs the tv remote, clicking the play button.

(surprisingly, rafe proved you wrong. he did not pee his pants. even if there were multiple close calls. you guys made it to the movie without any accidents, somehow shuffled close together and sharing the same navy throw blanket; a comforting warmth shared between the two as he falls asleep with his cheek on your shoulder. his mother catches the two of you in the morning. snaps a picture with her phone without saying anything, and retreating back to her bedroom with a smile spread across her face)

——-

whenever you had sleepovers at the cameron’s, you’d always be the first one up. even if you were the last one asleep.

okay. you were the second one up, after mrs. cameron.

you had an unspoken sleepover routine. you’d usually be up by seven thirty, and there’d be pancake batter on the griddle for you starting at seven fifteen; always the first to enjoy a fresh stack of mrs.cameron’s signature blueberry pancakes.

you shut the door to sarah’s room, rubbing your eyes as you shuffled towards the kitchen.

“morning, mrs. cameron.” you greet while stifling a yawn. you blink a couple times, adjusting to the absurdly bright room.

it’s not mrs. cameron in the kitchen. instead, you’re met with rafe behind the island, again. pouring whole milk into a bowl of cereal.

“moms still asleep.” he says, words rough on the edges.

you don’t respond, opting to climb onto one of the island stools in silence. you watch his brow furrow as he making sure the perfect ratio of milk falls into his breakfast. the feature is similar to the way his mother forhead wrinkles while she meticulously pours a ladle full of bluberry batter onto the griddle.

“what cereal?” you mumble, shifting so your hands settle between the seat and your legs.

rafe tightens the cap of the milk, then shoved it back into the kitchen aid fridge. “pebbles.”

you open your mouth to ask about the flavor, but he responds before anything comes out.

“cocoa pebbles. you want some?”

you nod, begining to pull yourself off the stool so you can make yourself a bowl. but instead, he pushes his bowl towards you.

“have it. i’ll make another.” he offers with a tight lipped smile.

“thanks,” your heart stutters at the gesture. you take the spoon and swirl the cereal around so the milk can become chocolatey. you take a sip of it, enjoying the sweetness on your tongue.

he makes himself another bowl and brings it to the stool besides you.

“why are you up so early?” you question while he settles onto the seat and he shrugs.

“i guess i just wanted to see you before you left.”

the words almost make you choke on your cocoa puffs, the milk almost pouring out your nostrils. you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“you really wanted to be blessed with my obnoxious presence this early in the morning?”

“i don’t think you’re obnoxious, y/n.” rafe confesses, voice quiet as if he wanted you to be the only one to hear.

suddenly, it felt like the necklace which laid under your pajamas was burning a hole on your neck. you pull it out and start playing with its pendent in between your thumb and your index finger.

“i don’t think you’re obnoxious either.” you say, because you don’t know what else would be right to say in the moment. he looks expectantly at you with a soft gaze, eyes flickering from your own iris’s to the silver chain you’ve exposed. his lips curve into a smile which mirrors your own.

“yeah?”

“yea.” you confirm, tilting your head towards him with a brightening smile before looking back down at your bowl of now soggy cereal.

“yeah.” he breathes again, bringing his spoon up to his lips to take a bite of his breakfast.

you two remain smiling, even after you’ve departed from tannyhill.

————-

taglist (let me know if u want to be added or removed!)

tagging those who asked to be tagged in part 2 @kkmstblog @spicykimchiiii @whore4drew @diorgirl444 @outerbankspov @maybankslover @writtenwordslover @drewstarkeyirlgf @vert-pomme @octaviareina @everythingmarveltopgun @hangmanshomecoming @fallingwallsh @millies0bsimp @pickingviolets @fulla02 @denise417 @mad-die45 @callsignwidow @leclerc16s @yomnajir @ash5monster01 @spear-bearing-bi-witch @grxcisxhy-wp @iluvpills @user09 @cat-or-kitten @bellstwd @mrsstarkey1 @illicitfixations @willowpains @penny4yourthoughts @book-place @sangytv @sweetestdesire @mvybanks @rafesmoon @a-aexotic

reblog + comment and i’ll do the same for you <333

[hydrngea]

hi rb this and raise ur hand if i should do a p3 🙋

[hydrngea]

happy birthday bub! i hope you had an amazing day <3 - sangytv

BABY!!! THANK YOU and i miss you so much!!!! slide back into my dms let’s catch up💓💓

[hydrngea]

Happy birthday my dear!! Hope your day was amazing!

thank you thank you thank you!!! it was a wonderful day, despite having to take a final lol

[hydrngea]

feeling rlly weird abt having a birthday tmr

[hydrngea]

requests open for kaz brekker / billy hargrove / steve harrington / rafe cameron / bruce wayne aka batman 👀👀👀 needing some new inspo!

[trentione]

i was tagged by @lilpepi <3

you can make yours here

i’ve chosen these albums because i liked almost all the songs from them

i’m tagging @ell-alexanderarnold @saywhatiwants @mrsgravity @hoepieces @anonymouslystupidandbroke 💗

[saywhatiwants]

I was tagged by @trentione 🫶🏽

You can make yours here

These are some of my fav albums and love with my heart🩷🫶🏽

I’m tagging @trentscc @whrefrtrentaa @hopefulromantic1 and anyone else who sees this and will love to join🩷🩷

[whrefrtrentaa-deactivated202305]

I was tagged by the lovely @saywhatiwants 😇 I tag @moneyymaseyy @trentsixtysix and @trentscc 🩷🩷

[trentscc-deactivated20240726]

i was tagged by my loves @whrefrtrentaa , @saywhatiwants and @blueaetherr 💗

you can make yours here

im tagging @paradisehamilton @trentaasixtysix @lfc-xnda 🫶🏾

[lfc-xnda]

Thank you for tagging bb @trentscc 😘

I’m tagging: @hopefulromantic1 @paradisehamilton @joe-zone 🥰

you can make yours here

[hopefulromantic1]

tagged by @saywhatiwants& @lfc-xnda

you can make yours here

tagging : @laylaynaynay130 @that-90s-girllll @princessbetsy123-blog

[princessbetsy123-blog]

Tagged by @hopefulromantic1

You can make your https://href.li/?https://billclintonswag.com/

href.li

Tagging: @wosoimagines @softcoremaybank @oh-saints

[moremaybank]

thank you for tagging me love!! @princessbetsy123-blog

no pressure angels 🫶🏼: @wildflwrdarlin @mvybanks @dreamingwithrafe @oncasette @veescorneroftheworld & anyone else who wants to joinnn

make yours here

[nic0-hischier]

Chloe baby thank you sm!!!

You can make yours here

Mine

Tagging: @lee-says-things @saturnband @mothymunson @willowsgrl @drewstarkeysleftfoot @dreamingwithrafe

And whoever else wants to <333

[crunchy-leaves77]

Thank you🥰

You can make yours here

My music taste is funky

Tags<3 @sugarcoatedstarkey @ashes-writing @hotchsstuff

And whoever else :)

[hotchsstuff]

thank you for tagging me 💗💗

no pressure tags: @mvybanks @dreamingwithrafe @justacoolnerd <3

[mvybanks]

thank you for tagging me @hotchsstuff & @softcoremaybank <33

you can make yours here

no pressure tags: @jjsbank444 @illicitfixations @hydrngea @dreamingwithrafe @amournoir @kylianswag

[hydrngea]

thank u sm for the tag!!

tagging whoever would like to play <3

[hydrngea]

comfort (rafe cameron x reader)

a/n : hi. i know i know i know. it’s been a min and life / finals caught up to me so i haven’t written anything in a min. but here i am! with a shitty little one shot i wrote pretty much to comfort myself because atm me and my best friend are in a bit of a pickle lol. hope you enjoy and please forgive me for ghosting this blog 💓

summary : you and your best friend got into a fight and rafe knows just what to do to comfort you.

masterlist / navigation

———————————

you don’t know how the tears started spilling down your cheeks.

you thought you were doing okay after the fight you just had with your best friend a few days ago. you knew with your rational the two of you would make up soon, and would be laughing about this whole ordeal in a couple days.

yet deep down, there was this fear that you would never recover from this. it was probably the biggest argument you’ve had with her in years- or ever- if you’re being honest.

one second you were fine, and the next second you were tasting salt water on your tongue.

it went from soft sniffles to crescendoing into loud and snotty sobs.

you can’t control it. your damn snapchat memories from a year ago today forced emotions out of you and it the tears came through.

you barely notice the jingling sound coming from your front door knob, or the creaking noise of it opening. you only pull out of your trance when rafe suddenly rushes to your side on the leather love seat, abandoning the groceries he’d just bought on the floor besides the welcome mat.

“hey. hey, baby,” he soothes with a gentle tone, crouching down in front of you and clutching your hands in his. “what’s wrong,hmm?” rafes eyes bounce over your reddened face, trying his best to read the situation.

“i don’t,” you hiccup, gasping for another breath, “know.”

rafe pushes himself onto the seat next to you and pulls you into him. you lay your cheek over his chest, staining his polo with you tears (and snot). his fingers find your hair, rubbing soothing circles over your scalp and massaging it. “is this about the y/bff’s/n situation, baby?”

you nod against him, moving closer into him as if there’s any extra space left between you two.

the arm that hangs over you shoulders tightens its grip. “y/n…”

“i know i’m being-“ another hiccup, “dramatic.”

rafe sighs into your hair, “that’s not what i was gonna say. you know this ‘argument’ between the two of you is just a misunderstanding, right?”

you sit up in his lap. “but what if-“

“no what ifs. how long have the two of you been friends?”

“since the 7th grade.” you mumble into your sleeve as you wipe the snot off your face. gross, but you’ll just end up washing the sweaty sorting you’re wearing the next day.

“exactly! no way a fight over something so small is gonna end up ruining your friendship. that’d just be petty.”

“but-“

“y/n.” rafe chastises, but his voice remains soft. “it’ll all be okay, i swear.” he pushes your sweaty strands of hair off of your forehead, and places a gentle kiss in between your brows. “you know what?”

“what?” you sniff as the last of your tears subside.

“i just bought the perfect thing to make this better.” rafe gets up and walks over to where he left the brown grocery bag, digging a box out from the bottom of it. you peer over the edge of the sofa, brow furrowed while you try to make iut what exactly he’s talking about.

he tosses something to you which you barely catch. “popsicles!?” you exclaim a little after you read the label of the package.

“yup.” he says, taking a bite out of his own. “your fav.”

a smile appears on your face at that, your day becoming ten times better just from the simple action. you meet rafe by the kitchen island where he stands and push yourself up onto your tippy-toes, pressing a grateful kiss onto his lips. you can taste the cherry flavored popsicle he just took a bite out off on his tongue.

“thank you, rafe. for making me feel better.”

he closes the gap between you two once more. “of course. anything for my girl.”

———-

taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed!) : @kkmstblog @spicykimchiiii @whore4drew @diorgirl444 @outerbankspov @maybankslover @writtenwordslover @vert-pomme e @octaviareina @everythingmarveltopgun @fallingwallsh @millies0bsimp @pickingviolets @fulla02reads @mad-die45 @leclerc16s @ash5monster01 @grxcisxhy-wp @iluvpills @user09 @cat-or-kitten n @bellstwd @mrsstarkey1 @illicitfixations @willowpains @penny4yourthoughts @book-place @sangytv @sweetestdesire @mvybanks @rafesmoon @a-aexotic @wildflwrdarlin

reblogs / comments are super appreciated 💓☺️

[mvybanks]

this is so cute and adorable i need a rafe too😫😫

so comforting i love this so much!!!🥺

[hydrngea]

“if anyone wants to give me an early birthday present/i want him”

CRACKING UP at this tag D dhejejejej. my birthday is in 6 days if anyone wants to give me a lil present i will also happily take rafe pls and thank u.

[illicitfixations-deactivated202]

blue eyes + bruises - pt.5 - I'll be there for you

↳PAIRING: doctor!rafe cameron x fem!!reader

↳SUMMARY: you wake up from surgery + rafe is there to comfort you.

↳[3.1k] WARNINGS: mature themes, medical lingo, violence, hurt/comfort, mentions of a car accident, major trauma and injuries, scared reader, angst, comfort, soft!rafe, death of a loved one, anxiety, ptsd, heartbreak, soulmates au, mentions of surgery, comforting rafe, etc.

↳A/N: this is a repost from my old blog @tee-swizzle. all of my works are being reposted to this one + the previous blog has been deactivated.

series masterlist | my masterlist

Running. Rafe had always been inherently good at running. It was noticed for the first time in middle school by the track and field coach when he outran a bully. The talent was nurtured and he went on to be a track star in high school and college. It was a good skill for a surgeon to have in the midst of an emergency, the ability to run with dexterity and endurance and speed. At least that’s what Molly had convinced him of so she could ogle at his muscular thighs and chest at every track meet. God, did he miss her. The one thing he never thought he would have to run to is his girl, his wife, his molly, as she was wheeled into the emergency room. The words of the surgeon on her case played over and over in Rafe’s head – no matter where he was or what he was doing – the flashback of that night, of those words in that setting – about his wife – it was all too much, no matter how long she had been gone. 

“Rafe, I’m so sorry. We did everything we could.” 

Dr. Charles Richardson looked his colleague, his friend, in the eye with a somber gaze. It felt to Rafe like the look of someone after they had spent an entire afternoon reading Edgar Allen Poe. The look in Charles’ eye made him angry. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew what the look meant – it meant his wife was gone. It meant Charles was looking at him the way he looks at a patient’s family and Rafe, while he was her family, he knew the speech, he knew the words, he knew this world. He knew it was all bullshit.

“Don’t bullshit me, Charles. If my wife is dead, tell me she’s dead.”  

He growled. 

“I’m sorry, Rafe.” 

“You keep saying you’re sorry – say the fucking words. I need to hear you say the words. Not ‘I did everything I could’, not ‘I'm so sorry.’ You say the fucking words you coward.” 

“She’s gone, buddy. She’s gone.” 

-

Rafe was jolted out of his thoughts, out of the memory he had been encapsulated in for the last two years as you stirred awake. He sat there watching you, the steady rise and fall of your chest doing little to comfort him, though he knew it meant you were alive. His eyes moved from your sweet face to your leg that he had previously operated on, a black hinged brace lined it where it sat elevated against three pillows in an attempt to keep the swelling minimal. You looked so fragile, yet incredibly ethereal and soft and he couldn’t help but stare. It was impossible not to stare at something, someone that beautiful. To grow up that beautiful — he wondered what that was like as he sat there ogling at you. He pondered if he should let himself go there with you, if he could let himself feel the rush and the high of serotonin and dopamine that he clinically knew would be released if he was to allow himself to love again. Was he selfish for wanting to be happy? Was he chaos on two feet? Was he damnation on earth the way that he had convinced himself he was? What would become of you, if you were to love him? Would you wind up just like her? 

He forced his overactive brain to stop spinning once he noticed your eyes were open and he brushed his fingers against your forehead. 

“Hey, sweet girl. Welcome back.” 

He cooed, his fingers running up and down the bridge of your nose and across your eyebrows in the shape of a “T”. 

“Hi.” 

You croaked out, throat dry and begging for a source of water. Rafe obliged, rising to his feet as his brain recognized your desperation, hearing the desert within your windpipe and bringing the water up to your lips with a straw. 

“Suck slowly, okay?” 

He instructed, running his fingers through your hair slowly and you followed his directions. 

“How’s the pain?” 

He questioned with a softness that you were convinced was less about him being a good doctor and more about him just being who he was – just being a good person. 

“Like a five maybe. You’re still here?” 

You lied, not wanting to see the life leave his blue eyes when you told him otherwise. 

“That’s good. Yeah, I just wanted to sit with you for a while. Is that okay?” 

He smiled softly, questioning you.

“Of course it is. Can I go back to sleep? I mean, will you be here when I wake up if I do?” 

You questioned, a curiosity looming in your features, unsure why you would’ve stayed up if it meant more time with him.

“Absolutely, sweet girl. I’ll always be here.” 

He smiled, sitting next to you, rubbing soothing circles into the top of your head as you drifted off to sleep. You weren’t sure what it was, but you knew that he was telling the truth, that somehow he’d always be around.

-

You looked up at Rafe as he moved around you, fluffing the pillows behind your head, you sat at an incline in the bed again, trying desperately to reach the tv remote that sat on the table beside you. He had been talking – asking you questions about your day, as if you had done anything except lay here, again. But, all you could think about is the fact that your favorite movie was coming on tv in less than thirty minutes and it was a simple pleasure you were going to indulge yourself in. You shut your eyes tight, squeezing them against your eyelashes with the force of a thousand suns. Rafe must’ve noticed the pained expression on your face because before you could even ride out the wave of discomfort, he had the remote in his hands and he was kneeling in front of you, squatting on the balls of his feet.

“Hey, sweet girl, can you look at me?” 

He asked kindly and when the torment had subsided enough you blinked your eyes open, his piercing blue ones staring back into yours. 

“What is it, from 1-10? and don’t bullshit me this time.” 

His voice was soft but stern and you knew he meant business. 

“It’s a nine.” 

You said, grunting exasperatedly, frustrated and tired and sick – of – this. 

“Shit – sweetheart you can’t let it get that bad before you tell me and why are you putting yourself in more pain by reaching for this? You could’ve asked me, I’m right here.” 

He blurted out his questions in a brash way, waving the remote control in the air.

“My favorite movie is coming on, I just –, sorry, I’m just –” 

A whimper escaped your lips as you stuttered and Rafe moved toward you again, bringing your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting your head up towards him as he took in the tears that lined your eyes. His heart broke at the sight. 

“Hey – I know, sweetheart. You don’t have to be sorry, I know you’re frustrated.” 

“How do you know how I feel?” 

You questioned him with a hint of attitude. In your mind, it didn’t matter how many people he had operated on with your same injuries, he hadn’t lived it and because of that fact, he didn’t understand. 

“Let me guess, you’re frustrated, annoyed, tired, sad and really wanting a shower?” 

He asked you with a light chuckle, smiling the Rafe Cameron smile as you looked up at him with bewildered eyes. 

“How could you possibly know any of that?” 

You questioned him, confused. Did he go through this, physically? Did this sweet, sweet man hurt the same way that you had?

“Because I’ve been where you are.” 

He stated very matter-of-factly and you were confused.

“You cracked your bones in a million places, too?” 

Had he been through this, too?

“No, but I’ve been in a situation that was eerily similar.” 

You were silent at his declaration, wondering what situation he was referring to. 

“I can’t do much for you about a shower, it’s only been three days since your surgery and with you in this much pain, I don’t want you up and moving. But I can have Jenni give you a sponge bath. Would you be up for that?” 

“Yes, please. That would – be amazing.” 

He nodded and gave you the Rafe Cameron smile again, leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead. Jenni and another nurse stepped into the room with everything they needed, setting up a bucket of water, some hypoallergenic soap and a sponge on the rolling table that each hospital room came with. Once they had everything set up, Rafe stepped out, being the gentleman he was, he wanted you to have privacy and he definitely didn’t want the first time he saw you naked to be in a hospital bed. 

“He’s quite dreamy, isn’t he?” 

A nurse that stood beside Jenni spoke into the air and your breath faltered. Were you that obvious? If this blonde bimbo picked up it – he probably did too. How fucking embarassing. Rafe had left the room only moments ago with a promise to come check on you shortly, but you so desperately wished he would save you from this woman as she stood in front of you preparing to strip you bare and see the most intimate parts of you, though it felt like she already had. 

“He’s very nice to me.” 

You stated, nodding with a soft smile though your tone was a bit curt. Jenni’s pager went off, signaling another emergency in the hall. 

“Shit – I'll be right back.” 

She muttered, running out of the room in a hurried fashion. The other nurse, who’s name you couldn’t bring yourself to remember, looked at the door as Jenni exited through the threshold – you were sure your recollection, or lack thereof, had more to do with the meds and less to do with her and the shitty vibe she gave off. She worked diligently, pulling down the hospital gown, noting the stitches that lined your chest as she drug the sponge gently over your soft skin. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll get you better and forget you ever existed. He won’t give any of us nurses the time of day. Don’t get your hopes up. Besides – look at you.” 

She replied, rolling her eyes as the words left her mouth. ‘What a bitter bitch’, you thought. You bit your tongue for only a moment before deciding to fully send it – there was nothing she could do to you – you were already bedridden, recovering from surgery and would be for the next few months – there was nothing she could do to you. 

“You know, maybe Rafe hasn’t given you the time of day because your personality fucking sucks, just a thought.” 

You spoke nonchalantly and before she could respond, she laid down the sponge she was using to bathe you with on top of your chest, took off her gloves and dug her long, manicured finger into the incision site Rafe had just stitched up on your hip. Your yelp was so loud Rafe heard it from the hallway, where he stood at the nurse’s station, finishing off your surgical notes. Suddenly, the hammering in his chest overtook him and he rushed into your room to see if you were experiencing post-operative pain or if something else was wrong. What he never expected to see was a nurse, finger deep into a surgical incision and you – your sweet face with tears cascading down it as your eyes pleaded for him. 

“What the fuck are you doing to her?!” 

He growled, rushing to your side, pushing her to the side and grabbing gauze off the table next to your bed, immediately holding it to your hip to stop the bleeding. 

“I know, baby – I know it hurts. I’m sorry, I’m gonna fix it, okay?” 

He pulled the gauze away from your hip and Jenni rushed into the room, taking in the sight of your stitches that were fresh and clean and showing signs of healing only minutes ago and were now torn and bloody and frayed like the pages of an old book. 

“What the fuck happened, Rafe?” 

Jenni all but squealed, rummaging through drawers searching for more gauze and a suture kit. 

“F-f-fingers –” 

You choked out, crocodile tears rolling down your bright pink cheeks as your fists clenched the sheets beside you. 

“Sweet girl, we’re gonna fix it, okay?” 

“No, R-rafe!” 

“What do you mean, no, sweetheart? Talk to me.” 

“Can’t do it anymore, can’t keep getting fixed. I’m not a stuffed animal that you can just keep sewing back up until all the stuffing has fallen out.” 

He cooed, brushing the hair away from your forehead. 

“I know, baby – I know you’re tired. But, if we don’t fix it you’ll get an infection and you’ll get sick okay? We have to fix it, sweet girl.” 

You reluctantly nodded, letting him work, continuing to wail as each stitch was placed into your hip again, the skin irritated and sore and only adding to the discomfort that raked through your entire body. It was almost like Rafe knew when your breaths picked up and the weight of your new reality had fallen on your chest because he started asking questions – questions that you hadn’t answered – questions that no one had bothered to ask you in years. 

“So, what did you do before – I mean, I can only assume you don’t frequent hospitals very often? Unless you’re one of those crazy people. Are you one of those crazy people?” 

You threw your hand up to your mouth and let out a giggle. 

“You’re cute when you ramble, Rafe.” 

His lips turned up into a smirk. Your pain filled haze had you simply not caring about flirting with the man in front of you.

“Oh, so you think I’m cute?” 

He questioned, eyebrows furrowed, laughing as he checked the fluids that hung behind your bed. Your face was red, realizing what you had previously said to him once his words had reached your ears. You wished the bed you laid in would swallow you whole, scared to look this beautiful man in the eye and face rejection. There’s no way the feeling is reciprocated. 

“I mean, yeah. You’re an attractive guy, you’ve gotta know that.”

You stuttered out awkwardly and he simply giggled at the way you were shrinking into yourself, embarrassed at the compliment you had given him.

“Sweetheart, don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay, I’m flattered.” 

He smiled – the Rafe Cameron smile – rubbing circles into your hand as you took in the words that left his lips. 

He’s flattered. That’s what you say when you’re trying to let someone down easily. He doesn’t reciprocate and how could he? Just look at you. 

The assault on your heart at the mercy of your brain was interrupted quickly by Rafe’s voice again. 

“So, what did you do before? For work, I mean. You never answered my question.” 

“Okay, nosey. I’m – well – I was a high school English teacher.” 

You replied, with a sad smile. 

“What made you want to teach?” 

He asked, interested in everything that involved you.

“My younger sister, Ella has special needs and she wasn’t always treated fairly in the classroom; so I just wanted to make sure no child ever experienced that again.” 

“You know what that tells me?” 

He asked, a sly smile dancing across his face.

“What?” 

You wondered out loud.

“It tells me that you’re sweet and a good person and that you could’ve never deserved for this to happen.” 

“Thank you, Rafe –” 

He looked at you as tears fell down your face.

“Sweetheart, what can I do?” 

You didn’t answer him and your breaths only seem to quicken by the second and before Rafe could even think, he had kicked off his shoes and climbed in the bed with you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, one hand draping across your waist and one around the back of your head, pooling your hair in his hands. 

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

He cooed. 

“I-I’m never gonna b-be the same am I? I-I’ll n-never b-be able to teach again.” 

You whimpered, crying into his chest. 

“Hey, sweet girl, don’t say that. I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you teach again, okay? I won’t let anyone take that away from you, ever.” 

His voice was soft and tender, afraid the wrong octave might rip you in half and you’d cease to exist right then and there. 

“Do you understand? I won’t let that happen.” 

This time he spoke with more force and you nodded your head reluctantly, unsure if you really believed him or not. 

“Tell me something to make me forget, Rafe – What made you want to become a doctor?” 

You questioned and he was uncomfortable, but the pleading look in your eyes made him answer anyway.

“It’s not a story full of glory, sweetheart. How about I tell you a better one, huh? How’s that sound?” 

He questioned, his hands working against your scalp like his life depended on it. 

“That sounds good.” 

You replied, somberly, wondering what kind of hurt this beautiful, sweet human being had experienced to make him so closed off about his own life. 

“Well – once upon a time, there was this doctor and he was a real asshole until this pretty girl walked into the hospital he worked at.” 

“What did she look like?” 

You questioned with curiosity-stricken features. He smiled at you, how he was the only one who got to see you like this. He couldn’t help but feel honored. 

“I think she looked a lot like you, sweetheart.” 

Your breath is caught in your throat at the fact that those words were coming from him. His hand motions continue against your scalp as you listen to his words, the euphoria that’s felt from the action is something you aren’t sure you’ve ever felt in your entire life. 

“I’m glad I found you, Rafe.” 

You mutter sleepily, listening to him continue the details of the stranger's beauty, who in his words, looked similar to you, before you promptly fell asleep.

“And I’m glad I found you, angel.” 

He whispers, continuing to rub soothing circles into your hair, letting you cuddle deeper into him and for the first time Rafe had felt warmth in someone that wasn’t Molly. He had felt warmth and goodness and it wasn’t from her and it simply scared him half to death. 

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LIVING FOR THIS REWRITE!!!