Somewhat Confused

Michaela here! she/her | 18 | America Pansexual

[charamells-deactivated20220424]

Pixel doodles

[genderfluxthings]

Yeah sex is great and all but have you ever had the satisfaction of finding the right label for yourself after months or years?

[feralpunkz-deactivated20190902]

lesbians run the world!! lesbians are amazing!!

[fanonical]

harry potter fans in 2011: omg!! pottermore!! i'm so excited!!

harry potter fans in 2018: please, joanne, i beg you, potter less

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you and a same sex friend are eating out and request just one check and the waitress sets it down in front of you, she decided you’re the top.

[tariqah]

This is real

[niambi]

I’m????

[alarajrogers]

Oh my God this actually explains so much.

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.

[dollbeshop]

The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend.

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves

[astronomically-androngynous]

Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack

[budwq-deactivated20200211]

I want to encourage everyone who loves the old Disney to not watch the Mulan live action please

A bunch of bad directors totally changed her story, erased capitan Li Shang to put in a totally new dude to erase Shang´s bisexuality or what it represented to us, erased Mushu, the grandma, the original villian, the original characters, left only Mulan and the emperor and made up a stupid story about Mulan having superpowers, meeting this douchebag sexist shit capitan who only gets to love her WHEN he realizes Mulan has tits, and there´s a witch in the story 

i feel uuuh

[allospiceberry]

lesbian: i love my gf so much!

me:

then cherish

[i-am-a-fish]

All aboard the Gay Train, choo choo, I am tired

[zodiacatsea]

Cats are just little dudes

[filmnoirsbian]

In honor of me approaching my first 6 months mark as a flight attendant, here are some highlights from my time in this job:

When a lady stopped me gently to whisper that i had “mastered the art of kindness”

When an elderly woman told me i was “put on earth to be a flight attendant”

Each and every time someone complimented my nails

When i found an $8000 diamond watch left behind under a seat, gave it to a gate agent, only to have the passenger come running back 10 minutes later. Gate agent: man u wouldve been in trouble, huh? Man whom looked like a bond villain: i wouldve been SHOT.

Every lesbian ive worked with and had the nice bonding moment of “ur gay?? Im gay!!”

That time a man tried to get huffy with me because he wasnt in 1st class and i got to say “sir u can either sit in this seat or u can sit in a seat in the terminal while u wait to take the next flight”

When i had an emergency landing because the pilots lost steering and we all thought we were gonna die but then we didn’t and everyone just applauded the landing and didnt even complain about the 2 hour delay

When my flight was delayed for 3 hours because the plane wouldnt start so the crew and i just took a really long nap in the jetway

Every 4 and 5 star hotel ive stayed at for free

When we overnighted in the middle of nowhere in alabama and went to a sports bar at midnight. The bartender locked the door so it was just him and us and his friend, and we all got super drunk on obscure alcohols and i kicked everyones ass at pool

That time i had an emergency landing because one pilot had such explosive diarrhea that the other 2 pilots had to wear oxygen masks

When we overnighted in a casino resort in new orleans and ended up drunk on margaritas and playing blackjack with a bunch of old people at 2pm

Every little kid on my flights

Every dog i got to pet on my flights

When we were flying to nyc during julliard recruitments and half the seats were taken up by cellos

Being in airports late at night and seeing people sleep in the weirdest places because they just dont care (bathroom floors, under gate agent desks, etc)

When a woman forgot her actual baby on the plane

Woman: can i board first? Gate agent: are u special needs, active military or priority? Woman: no i just want to board first. Gate agent: maam i have 70 other people who also want to board first, im not looking for a line leader.

My very first working flight, when a man pointed to my necklace and said “is that a ball gag?” And, in my shock, i said “no, im gay”

[filmnoirsbian]

That time a ramp agent came up to me holding up his phone and said “wanna see something weird?” and i said yes, reservedly, thinking it might be gross but then he held out his phone and it was just a picture of hundreds of paradise birds that we were apparently flying to a zoo

[gahdamnpunk]

I can’t bREATHE 😂😂😭😭

[blvckgeezus]

Lmfaooooooooo

[buzzfeedunsolvednetwork]

[sameoldshit]

S T R E E T S M A R T S

[tentacleteapot]

you’re no Hamburger Helper

you’re just a Hamburger Hindrance

[sidneyia-deactivated20210826]

if you’re not part of the hamburger solution, you’re part of the hamburger problem.

[tentacleteapot]

[slavery]