The brisk cold that encased them on the walk back to the compound did nothing to cool the heat that was coiled around his nerves, causing every step to send electric shocks up his spine. Whereas the ale had originally numbed his body out — that kiss had flipped every switch in his breaker and he was on, lit up like the fourth of July. What tension that existed between them at the arcade had been nothing compared to the awkward air that hung in the larger than normal space between their bodies as they paced themselves back home. Whereas they had almost brushed arms every time they’d walked to the subway, the way home had a good foot of distance, as if a lot of regret hung between them. Maybe there was – but as James stuffed his hands into his pockets and kept his eyes trained ahead, he couldn’t see the large buildings fade away to the encapsulated compound – couldn’t see the street lights or the cars passing by. He could only focus on how well they had fit together – Tommy’s body against his own, a natural sense of comfortability existing in their first kiss. First kiss. Kiss. James couldn’t stop replaying all of it, even though he knew it would never happen again.
He’d been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even really registered the balmy heat that blasted his skin as they entered the compound and he followed Tommy silently, not registering that he needed to break away on the fourth floor. Instead, he followed Tommy to the sixth and the brakes didn’t come slamming down until he was standing in front of his door. As Tommy opened wide and stepped over the threshold, James’s brain threw up red flags, yelling at him to not follow him in. Wave a goodbye. Go to bed. Pretend like he hadn’t just kissed his only friend in this reality. Kissed. Kiss.
It happened in slow motion for him – stepping inside, kicking the door shut, catching Tommy just as he turned to face him, his mouth swallowing his words as he resumed what the subway had interrupted. It wasn’t conscious anymore – James was no longer behind the wheel, his body too eager to explore whatever this feeling was – to figure out if what Tommy had done had been real or all in his head. Their bodies moved back until he’d knocked Tommy back against the dresser, hard enough that a few picture frames and knickknacks fell over or off entirely. He didn’t care. He wasn’t thinking past this anymore.
you know there were few times he was grateful for living time through a slow crawl. dodging bullets? sure. shoving his teammates out of the way when bombs went off? totally. casual conversation-- waiting for people to slowly spit words out of their mouth that would make any normal person want to rip their hair out? hell no. but right now? catching the look on james face only after he’d asked the question?-- good god it about took him out. his mix matched eyes seemed darker, laced with a determination that struck a match to his nerves and lit a wildfire. tommy take a second to recover his breath while james’ long stride closed the distance. when he slammed him into the dresser, a low grunt escaped him, immediately followed by a sharp hiss of an inhale and he reflexively grabbed onto him for stability, hands landing at his waist, getting a fistful of his shirt.
as he kissed him it wasn’t at all the soft, unsure kiss from before. there was a hunger behind it, one that had been kindling for days and now that it was allotted the room it was ready to ingest him. the heat of james’ body pressed up against his was dizzying enough on its own but combined with the smell of him--it liquified his brain. an intoxicating haze blanketed him, flooding his lungs, rendering his breaths into short pants as his pulse thundered through his veins. a sweltering fever rushed its way to his lower belly, and instantaneously brought about an excruciating sensitivity to the slightest of friction. he’d never wanted anything more in his life than the way he wanted james right now. there was no room for coherent thought, only a need he’d been suppressing for the sake of consequences that had proved obsolete. tommy tugged him closer still until he could feel the warmth of james’ abdomen up against his own through the thin fabric between them, and holy shit if that wasn’t exhilarating. tommy pushed him back, blindly trying to find the nearest horizontal surface that wasn’t the floor. bed. where was it? where was his fucking bed?