[lacystar]

hey, so I made a comprehensive google doc classifying all the men in the dream smp as Tumblr Sexymen or not. you should check it out for memes because it has destroyed my life.

here's a sample of what it looks like (click for quality):

so yeah go look at it it's cursed <3

[comradeboyhalo]

one-sided family dynamics are the funniest fucking thing. wilbur deciding techno's his twin while techno is crafting his angsty orphan background? immaculate. sam saying george is his son while george just moves out without second thought? wonderful. sapnap saying bad is his father and bad finding out a month later via dono? pure gold.

[artlesscomedic]

favorite dsmp dynamics part one:

violent anarchist and incurable prankster

[keroseneinhalers]

HOW STREAMERS WOULD REACT TO YOU (KAREN) TAKING THE KIDS

@overlordscomicalreblogs this is what you get. no take backs.

Dream: *pisses*

Sapnap: commits multiple federal crimes including but not limited to: arson, kidnapping, and 1st degree murder. Not for the kids tho someone took his chick fila sauce he didn’t even know he had kids

George: idk he’s sleep he doesn’t fucking care that’s gogy not found

Badboyhalo: you’re telling me you think you would beat badboyhalo in a custody battle? God you are fucking idiot he’s already signed them up for preschool. They have enough toys to supply a midsized retail chain. Keep dreaming.

Jschlatt: Celebrated. This is the happiest day of his life (2nd happiest was when he slept with your mother)

Wilbur Soot: Ummm girl why r you stealing all those animals :/

Technoblade: he has already killed the kids. So what if they aren’t orphans. Blood for the blood god bitch.

Niki Nihichu: YOU DIVORCED NIKI FUCKING NIHICHU WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? DO YOU HAVE ANY BRAINS IN THAT STUPID LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS??? THATS NIKI NIHACHU.

Karl: probably cried. Mr. beast bought him an island but not even that could numb the pain. He eventually wins back custody.

Fundy: didn’t even notice probably hasn’t slept in days, kids what kids? Fox man only code.

[gogysglasses-archive]

ayo here’s another one of these.

things that are now “canon” according to a random collection of people (bad, karl, quackity, schlatt, techno, and ranboo) on bad’s stream

-tubbo’s full name is tuberculosis

-when you die and become a ghost dr. dre himself gives you beats headphones

-techno never dies, but one time he died to ramen

-dream smp lore is deeply tied to bakugan. and when you die you go the doom dimension (this means nothing to me)

-papa john’s killed schlatt

[quotes-ig]

can’t believe i finally got a free moment to check back in on the fandom only to find people suggesting that anarchists have never and can never work in organised groups

organised groups aren’t governments. they ain’t got nothing to govern. how do y’all think anarchist revolutionary groups work if they’re all just lone wolves, never planning, never working together. that’s, like, the ‘communism is a total lack of individuality or ownership’ stereotype in popular media all over again, and completely discredits an incredibly complex ideology

i don’t wanna be that bitch who pretends that you need to know the basics of political theory to enjoy minecraft roleplay (cause just that sentence alone is some 2021 bs), especially since i know a lot of this fandom is fairly young. but at the same time it’s always painful to see non-normative political ideologies massacred in the public consciousness, y’know? especially when some people are acting like their misconception is some sort of big ‘gotcha’ moment or something

[comradeboyhalo]

bad has so much repressed rage

[comillionare]

Which Dream SMP Member are you? (Updated 2021)

i made a funny quiz. please take it: https://uquiz.com/quiz/R41B2b

this quiz will tell you which dream smp member you are and how many bitches you get. every member (except for guests) of the Dream SMP is a

[quotes-ig]

MCYT Gothic

- Someone has spoken negatively about stans. Twitter is on fire. Tumblr watches on with vague dispassion, and Reddit uses the flames to fuel its superiority complex. Tiktok is being 2013 Tumblr again. You are on several of these platforms. How do you react? Something inside you splits, and it may never become whole again.

- Keemstar makes another tweet about Minecraft Monday season two. He says it’s coming out soon, real soon. You check the date of the tweet. It was made 6 months ago. You check again. It’s been a year. ‘It’s coming out soon’, Keemstar promises you. How did he get in your house? ‘It’s coming out real soon’.

- Eret’s betrayal is referenced in the plot again. ‘It was never meant to be’. People online are asking about the significance of it. ‘It’s from the Final Control Room’, you tell them. They don’t know what the Final Control Room is. They must have started watching recently, you think. ‘No,’ they say, ‘I’ve been watching for months’. Was it really months ago? You check the vods. Did it ever happen at all?

- Technoblade uploads. For a moment, the world stands still. Everything else slows to a halt, vanishes into the peripheral. You watch the video. Everyone watches the video. It was a good video. Maybe you’ll get another one before the month’s end, but don’t get your hopes up. The human spirit is fragile, after all.

- You’re busy for a few days, and can’t catch up on the new content. ‘It was only a few days,’ you think. You watch a stream you missed. Now there are two more. You watch another stream. Four new ones are up by the time you finish. How do they keep multiplying? It was only a few days. There are two new nations, now, and they’re having another festival. It was only a few days.

- You see that people are talking about the difficulties faced by women in the industry, and taking steps to address the unequal representation. ‘Good’, you think. ‘Maybe things will start to change’. A male streamer does something, and people forget. The conversation dies. It’s okay, the same thing will happen again next month. It always does. It never starts to change.

- Something strange is trending on twitter, just above the most recent international disaster. It’s mcyt. You ignore it. An hour passes, and you check again. Something new is trending, just above a systemic failure of our system. It’s mcyt again. You ignore it. The Twitter Description Person tries to explain it, but they sound tired. One day, they will snap. One day, you think you will too.

- Skeppy and BBH say they’re going to meet up this month. They say they’ll vlog it. You don’t quite believe them - promises of a vlog dredges up deep trauma within you, touches the darkest recesses of your mind that you have so carefully hidden away. Still, you dare to hope. The month passes. Skeppy and BBH say they’re going to meet up this month.

- Wilbur is in Phil’s chat, again. You know what’s coming, but still can’t properly prepare yourself for the lore he decides to spin. ‘It’s not canon’, you hear people cry. ‘Wilbur isn’t the main writer anymore, it’s not canon’. ‘It’s a collaborative project,’ the damned respond. ‘It’s all canon’.

- A new celebrity expresses interest in the SMP. This isn’t right. These streamers aren’t celebrities, they’re just gamers. You see they have hundreds of thousands of concurrent viewers. ‘They’re just gamers,’ you cry in vain. ‘They can’t be mainstream. They’re only gamers.’

- You see an a6d video in your recommended. You didn’t know he still did those. You refresh your feed and it disappears. Good. You weren’t supposed to see that.

[hypixelbedwars]

so how are we feeling about the prospect of up to 4.36 million innocent people being unwillingly introduced to the concept of kinning by a minecraft youtuber

[hypixelbedwars]

really enjoying that the official minecraft monday winners’ page is just as broken as the tournament itself

[hypixelbedwars]

the signs as minecraft monday glitches/mistakes

aries: massive amounts of particles appearing in tnt run and destroying everyone's framerates (week 3)

taurus: people spawning trapped underground in build battle and being disqualified if they relogged (week 7)

gemini: the border in battle arena doing almost no damage, then being buffed so intensely that it took out half the players, then going back to doing almost no damage (weeks 4-7)

cancer: lungers in spleef allowing people to catapult themselves out of the arena and onto the walls (week 13)

leo: the hunger games map where most of the chests were empty (week 8)

virgo: people finding so many ways to get trapped in find the button maps that the devs just started giving them a stack of ender pearls to escape (weeks 4-7)

libra: 1 hour grace period in hunger games (week 4)

scorpio: the event just straight up getting hacked multiple times (weeks 7 + 14)

sagittarius: technoblade starting with -1 kills in one shot (week 7)

capricorn: tnt run eliminations being sent to a hellish underground pit instead of dying properly (week 8)

aquarius: players turning invisible in spleef (week 3)

pisces: the spleef arena getting built with glowstone, which melted the ice into water (week 14)

[timedeo-moved-deactivated202105]

fundy: (doodling in the back of the art room)

schlatt, in his varsity football jacket: (slams hands on fundy's desk) hiiii trigglypuff :)

fundy: ...hi schlatt :|

schlatt: what're you drawing, something about feminism (which is cancer)?

fundy: i'm drawing jotaro from jjba in a mechanical suit for my pacific rim alternate unive-

schlatt: kek....are you KIN with jotaro

fundy:

schlatt: what's wrong tumblrina.....are you #triggered :) :) :)

fundy: schlatt i know it was you who spraypainted "SENSITIVE MILLENNIAL" on my dad's car

schlatt: anonymous is legion

fundy: he's not even a millennial he's 42 and works in government and we called the police

schlatt: ....whatever kek (goes to the bathroom and frantically checks tumblr to see if he's been doxxed)

[hypixelbedwars]

watching old minecraft monday vods... this really was the most scuffed tournament ever huh

[hypixelbedwars]

some really great moments from fundy’s stream today

[technogender-archive-deactivate]

still thinking about how techno screams during the whole "skeppy tried trolling me but i trolled skeppy instead" video......... like sir? sir???

[hypixelbedwars]

i cannot wait to hear wilbur on the radio in a few years and confound my family by telling them about the time i saw him cry over a minecraft fish