Who was I?
I don’t recognize myself from previous posts.
I know that change is inevitable but whoever I was.. over a decade ago feels like centuries ago.
If I could go back and tell myself “things will be okay”, I would. I would give her a big hug and tell her, “it will be okay. Seriously.” Because things are okay now. Things don’t plague my mind and my heart (as deeply)
I feel sad to have lost all those friends and people in my life. I can’t even fathom how intense I felt those emotions at the time. Going back and reading the tags.. felt foreign. Who was I? I was so angry. I was so angsty. Did anyone want to give me a hug but I pushed them away?
I regret a lot. There are plenty of things I wished I didn’t do because I made mistakes with people that I wish were still with me today.

But as of lately, I’ve obtained a new identity. Someone I never thought I would be, something I never thought I could do. It’s beautiful, it’s scary, but I’m getting the hang of it. Old me would be disgusted. The new me is proud.
I have him. I owe him everything. He deserves it all. It would be an absolute disservice if I decided to pick myself over him.
If you know me irl and you come across this post and you’re perplexed.. you can reach out. I don’t lay myself out like an open book anymore- I realized that not everyone deserves to know everything about me without effort.
Whoever you are, where-ever you are, I hope you are okay. I hope you are well. I hope the people you love, love you back. I hope that the people you love.. know that you love them.
