All these years I’ve taken the bus to town to see my girls when they get together. they finally came to the city and I am too poor to go to the places they wanted to. too poor to afford a job application form. lord.
I had an interview appointment yesterday and my father looked me straight into the eye to tell me. “I can’t take you. I can’t give you cash for the bus. I’m so sorry but it’s either you go or we eat.” I didn’t cry. I didn’t get angry. Still, he gave me his last 20 bucks. What could I do? I spent it on food.
Every day I talk with my friend about how much money really brings happiness and opportunities, but I don’t think she realizes just actually how different we are on the economic situation lol
got many interviews left tho. wish me luck!
Feels like the universe is listening! 7 job offers right after this post… I got hired really close by! I dreamt with my mom.. We settled our peace in a very profound and well mannered chat… Although it was only just a dream it came out in perfect timing… I think it was a sign! Sometimes dreams like that.. I find myself thinking “mom died right?!.. how is she here?” Then memories of other dreams pop up and I think (in my dream) “oh, right, she comes back sometimes”, I hugged her to make sure it was real.. I could remember her hair.. how real her body felt… and I think “it must be true!” … I’ll do well in this job to help my family! No more struggle!
Last Friday I took my best friend to Barbie and for sushi, for her birthday, she collected me and got us movie tickets, but i felt sooo grateful for myself for being able to do so. Today I’m waiting for my (also) best friend to let me know her plans for next week. I am planning on taken her wherever in town, of course with our friends, too. Today I took my father to the groceries store and I’ve NEVER SEEN HIM SO WORRIED. I spent 1,300 on food and he was pale. He glanced at mangoes? I got him mangoes! He glanced at pork belly? I got him pork belly! He slowly got far and secretly bought a deodorant, because that’s what he NEEDS and can allow himself to buy. He was so happy, childlike when we arrives home and saw me unpacked mangoes. This is what I mean I love my job. This is what I mean I am blessed. This is what I am grateful for.
Just got offered a promotion. I am so proud of myself. I am so grateful. I am beyond blessed. I am happy.
Gotten a few dms about how this is better to keep to myself and not post it.. I have been working for 3 months now. I have been so stressed and overwhelmed with work, I have been crying so much, many coworkers got fired, but only I got promoted AGAIN. It feels so nice to know they value my work, but it is also very very scary to have now being promoted to floor manager… I have somebody else under me now and I start tomorrow at this position…. About the dms… I post for myself only. See, if I didn’t post this I would NOT have remembered about how much I needed this. I was eating one meal per day. Sometimes I just didn’t at all. Sometimes once a week. I lost so much in such a short period of time… I still have a long way to go mentally, but it’s nice to know that now I’m crying because I’m mourning and not because I can’t afford to buy a meal.
Things will get better. And this post is giving hope back to me again.
Wow. What a week. I was in charge of Cosmetics for a week AND then suddenly in charge of Home department. Colleagues from other locations came to help us prepare for inventory (tomorrow). They were shocked when they, one day were under the impression of me being floor manager of cosmetics, and then also the next day being under my supervision as Home department manager lol
The ACTUAL store manager was so stressed last Wednesday. We were NOT supposed to be receiving any more merchandise and an email came that we were receiving 8 pallets. The pain in his eyes when he opened the trailer and we found out it was actually 26 pallets… He apologized for putting me in charge of a whole ass department a week prior to inventory, I told him I could bet that I would get my storehouse and floors ready before any other department and I swear to god he was about to yell at me for being so positive. My assistant and I finished the storehouse and the 10 containers of merch that same day. He was so confused but also kind of a little bit less stressed out.
Mel (my assistant) and I have been looked at very begrudgingly for the past couple of days. Not only because of how hard we work but also for how much the manager laughs with us. Don’t get me wrong, he’s very strict and straightforward about work, but we don’t have to be pushed around to do our job, so we get more of a ~relaxed version of him…
Also idk how I’ll survive tomorrow’s 18 hours straight of labor 🫥 but also kind of excited for next week’s payment lololol
Welp Mel isn’t with me anymore, and I have now ascended to cashier so that I can become sale’s manager. It’s so much stress. I do so much. I almost quit twice today. Everyone puts so much pressure on me. Too many tasks. I cried at work today. I have to remind myself why I’m doing this and not quitting in the moment. I hope next update it’s that I quit and found something better or that I have now moved back home. Hahah idk where this post is going anymore.
Oh my goodness… to eat or not to eat- that it the question.
Past two week’s’ salaries went to the emergency department and medicines and laboratories and just what am I doing. Can’t sleep. My blood pressure was over the roof. I hate it. Why did they take such a good worker and make me so so sad…
well it has already been one year and seven months from that first post... and that last update... it was around one year ago... cannot believe i stayed for one more year. being so sad. so depressed, so overworked and so so so stressed. i quit one week ago, depression and anxiety through the roof. sometimes we put ourselves so high and tell everyone how we're the best employee at work. i was actually that and so much more. i had so many people under my care and so much guiding and teaching to do whilst also trying to teach myself what nobody cared to teach me. i felt so happy doing my job, i actually resign from my former position just to be at the floor doing hard work instead of paperwork and being a department manager. they didn't care. so i got stuck with less payment and a lower title to be put at the same exact position. they even changed managers and the new one still made me do all the work although we talked and discussed about it. got acussed of stealing by the personas who was actually stealing from me. and they confronted ME instead of them. i quit on the spot. old manager, altough not on great terms with me, asked me to change locations and go to work for him, but that was it, i couldn't take it anymore, antidepresants not working anymore was the last thing i could bear, antidepressants i started taking because of this same reason a year ago. i am tired. i need to find a job also, but at least i am no longer shaking with anxiety nor crying myself to sleep anymore.
