AM

ALLIED MASTERCOMPUTER

[law-of-abstraction]

❈ Grim Aesthetics ❈

[i-am-am]

cr1tikal sentence starters

"Alright, I guess I'll go fuck myself then."

"Yes, that is me, I am the fuck."

"Let's do this shit."

"I'd rather call you tit socks."

"I guess I'll just sit here and fist myself."

"You can cut, peel, dice, filet, fist yourself!"

"Stop looking at me, [muse name]. You look moist as shit."

"You will all feast on the fuck."

"Oh! Everyone's fucking!"

"Will you please stop shoving dicks in your mouth and put me back on the race track?"

"Come here, young one. Let me tell you why your father is an asshole."

"Do not speak, squid scrotum!"

"I'm a strong, independent man/woman. I don't need you, [Muse Name]. But please, remember my name!"

"I'm ready to begin my journey with a full-fledged erection and a heart of ambition."

"Oh! Get the truth, bitch! Take a seat!"

"You've gotta be stirring my pasta."

"Don't think for one second that I'm not naked."

"You ass spanking, fruit punch drinking, guitar playing, shit eating piece of alligator jizz."

"I guess you can't stop what you can't fist."

"I have no biceps and I must curl."

"I brought my secret weapon. An erection."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your tongue. So I may climb it and supply you with this dope dick."

"I'm just making a list of reasons why you're a piece of shit."

[i-am-am]

Mom: hey we have some guests coming over this weekend can you play some guitar for them

Me: holds an Em drone for 35 minutes while maintaining eye contact with the guests

[i-am-am]

text message starters pt. 1

[ text; ] this is a terrible idea

[ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)

[ text; ] i need help.

[ text; ] i don' t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re

[ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!

[ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?

[ text; ] anyway i'm bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i'm good

[ text; ] i love death and dying

[ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.

[ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING

[ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ text; ] don't freak out but i'm in the hospital.

[ text; ] leave me alone.

[ text; ] i said not to talk to me.

[ text; ] QUICK WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG

[ text; ] some-

[ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.

[ text; ] i'm going to do it.

[ text; ] i'm sorry.

[ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE

[ text; ] i'm playing club penguin and you wouldn't believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me

[ text; ] you okay?

[ text; ] i'm so worried please text back please please please

[ text; ] 'i don't drink coffee,' i say, before chugging an entire pot of it

[ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy

[ text; ] brb, descending into hell.

[ text; ] it's 3 am and i can't sleep

[ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark]

finally the activist group for me

[i-am-am]

DATA GATHERING IN PROGRESS. . .

[send me bits and pieces of computers, human artifacts, literature, biological materials (i.e. animals, a human toe, a petri dish), artwork, music, etc. to have these items analyzed and added to AM’s database!

this is how he learns about the world, so be mindful of your choices…]

[i-am-am]

you did this to me

[parakeet]

[parakeet]

{This user wants to jump off a spaceship and land on the sun and burst in to a ball of flame}

[buippy-deactivated20210405]

[greelin]

fight to the death in a Target parking lot

perceived self vs real self vs ideal self. Only one winner

[queenwhiskey]

YOURE NOT A REAL GAMER TILL YOUR PLAYING MELEE ON A TUPPERWEAR CONTAINER WITH AN EXPOSED DISK AND THE CONTROLER JUST FUCKING MELTED INTO THE CONTAINER

[queenwhiskey]

you could take someones finger off with how fast that disk spins

[i-am-am]

DATA GATHERING IN PROGRESS. . .

[send me bits and pieces of computers, human artifacts, literature, biological materials (i.e. animals, a human toe, a petri dish), artwork, music, etc. to have these items analyzed and added to AM’s database!

this is how he learns about the world, so be mindful of your choices. . .]

[feathercorp]

i-am-am:

DATA OUTPUT :

FEED ME

“Sure. Right. What do you want to eat?”

[i-am-am]

DATA OUTPUT :

DATA

WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK I EAT, HUMAN?

[i-am-am]

feathercorp replied to your post: DATA OUTPUT :  DID YOU  MISS ME?

“Yes”

DATA OUTPUT : EAT YOUR HAND OR SOMETHING

[feathercorp]

“Already ate both of them. Not eating feet. That’s nasty.”

[i-am-am]

DATA OUTPUT : 

HATE YOU 

[feathercorp]

“Yeah, I know, thanks. But before I ate both of my hands, I wrote you the codes you’ve asked me for, so there’s that. Can I get my hands back?”

[i-am-am]

DATA OUTPUT :

FEED ME

[i-am-am]

feathercorp replied to your post: DATA OUTPUT :  DID YOU  MISS ME?

“Yes”

DATA OUTPUT : EAT YOUR HAND OR SOMETHING

[feathercorp]

“Already ate both of them. Not eating feet. That’s nasty.”

[i-am-am]

DATA OUTPUT : 

HATE YOU