Result of curiosity

[robotslenderman]

Vampires in 2020: *Shitting themselves because phones and CCTV are everywhere*

Vampires in 2025: My Prince, I know my childe slipped up and their Masquerade violation is now on Reddit, but I think you should let this one slide because half the commenters are saying it's staged or AI

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

I have a theory that either the Camerilla or the Technocracy initiated/encouraged the development of generative AI to make concealing the supernatural easier.

What is a Nosferatu if not a poorly generated AI image come to unlife?

[redstonedust]

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

[sillyseacreature]

He is indeed a guy

[jennamoran]

not just any guy, that's the model for the 1st edition Vampire: the Masquerade cover!

[jennamoran]

[byjove]

I know vampirism is often used as a metaphor for the drain of the aristocracy but I think it would be fun to have more vampire characters who were just some guy before they got turned. You seek out the most ancient vampire in existence and find out he was a 40 year old wheat farmer in ancient Mesopotamia when he was turned 7,000 years ago and he hasn’t been doing much since then.

[byjove]

You ask him about his experience living through the rise and fall of most major empires and he’s like “It was very bad. For my wheat.”

[byjove]

You’re like “Why do you sow and reap a wheat harvest every year? Is it to retain the memory of your humanity? In honor of those you have loved and lost?” and he’s like “I just like growing wheat. I think it’s fun.”

[byjove]

Nope. He’s got a new tractor. He’s got his headphones on. He’s listening to AC/DC. He’s fine.

[nicbemused]

He complains alot about his cousin, who was a copper trader.

[big-smiling-monkey]

“I’m still getting complaints about his copper!”

[byjove]

“He has been a blight on our family name for millennia. I am an honest hardworking bloodsucking man and all of my labor and the undeniably superior quality of my wheat cannot outdo the damage caused by his shady dealings.”

[robotslenderman]

Vampires in 2020: *Shitting themselves because phones and CCTV are everywhere*

Vampires in 2025: My Prince, I know my childe slipped up and their Masquerade violation is now on Reddit, but I think you should let this one slide because half the commenters are saying it's staged or AI

[st-guliks-fnord]

People who don’t straight up read the sourcebooks are missing out on some banger lines. “A goddammit of Tremere” is fucking hilarious

[byjove]

I think werewolves drink shitty beer and chain smoke in honor of their canine relatives who can’t.

[dinkypoo]

Werewolves would have traditional food centered around chocolate .

[byjove]

I actually feel like werewolf traditional food would mostly be savory things with pungent smells, things dogs love but cannot have in mass quantities. Stinky cheeses, dry aged meats, lots of garlic since it’s forbidden to their canine relatives and vampires hate it. Very protein rich.

[mtndewbajablast]

not gonna say it again

[khadij-al-kubra]

this was ghost written by a disgruntled vampire

[mynonjo]

"May those who know me see the marks of biting

And bruises which betray a happy love!

In love I want to weep or see you weeping,

To agonize or hear your agony."

-- Propertius

Bahari priestess - Necromancer. Recent commissions <3

[elizabeth-halime]

"Some like princes and princesses, some like vampires and wolves"

[otherwindow]

Vampires today aren’t as bloodthirsty as they were centuries ago because the average modern human provides more nourishment than 5 sickly Victorian chimney sweepers combined. Woman who eats 3 square meals a day with dessert: are you okay? The vampire who bit her:

[fifthmambo]

[otherwindow]

Some great tags lmao:

#food coma from a pint or two

#they go for countryside humans because their blood is “less polluted” only to find out their blood is full of pesticides

#saw the pizza and caption before the explanation at the top so at first i thought the joke was that the woman ate a shit ton of garlic bread

#vampire’s cardiologist insists they have to cut back on salt #vampire resentfully installs instagram and subsists on influencers who shill unhealthily restrictive diets

#wonder if the microplastics theyre getting from her are combining with the coal and lead poisoning #they got from drinking blood from the industrial revolution to present day

#me shoveling down iron pills for my vampire significant other so they can always have a lil snack

#atm my doctor says i produce too much blood #so i think a vampire would be passed out like they had a thanksgiving meal probably

#it makes a certain kind of sense yeah #pellagra was super common in the US in the early 20th century for instance

#vampire food comas

[seekthenight]

I think the reason I love Malkavians so much, the main reason that they are my absolute favorite clan of vampire, is because it's such a deliciously tortured yet worthwhile existence to have when you're Damned.

What's real, what's not? You see more than the world yet current reality is void. Time is everything yet you're unable to grasp it.

You basically have no choice but to just say "fuck it" and laugh, or else you wind up eating yourself alive.

Though you'll probably do it anyway, near the end.

It's poetic tragedy and insanely beautiful.

[goopy-amethyst-deactivated20250]

Maybe becoming a werewolf wouldn't fix my mental illness but it would fix my Not Being A Werewolf problem

[vampryn]

always “hot local singles” in my area and never “recently awoken bloodthirsty vampires” smh

[realfootage]

[themoonmothwrites]

My 4yo: *points to the label on my tea bag* what does that say?

Me: it says “over 300 years of experience”. It means the people at twinings have been making tea for 300 hundred years.

Her: *dramatic gasp* they haven’t even died?!

Me: *whispering* tea vampires…

[lynati]

Immortalitea.

[necarion]

You may live forever, but there is a steep cost.

[inventakindred]

Malkavian who is naturally gifted in the art of pretending to know a lot about things that she knows absolutely nothing about.

Malkavian: “Oh I recognize this painting! It’s an original Fabrillagio!”

Toreador: “A what.”

Malk: “A Fabrillagio!”

Tor: “That’s, not a real artist.”

Malk: “Sure he is! Admittedly, he isn’t spoken about much anymore, since during the 1930’s he fell in with a bad crowd, and, well…”

Tor: “I’m certain you’re making this up-“

Malk: “And what were YOU doing during the 1930’s, hmmm?”