Im Gonna Have To Find A Title.....

Kincade! Welcome to my shitty daily entries

[i-am-kincade]

Day 308 of 365

After today there are 57 days remaining in this year. 57 long days that will flow quickly.

Where oh where has my little dog gone

I can't forget the 5 years I've known.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 204 of 365

$DayOfYear = (Get-Date).DayofYear

Write-Host $DayOfYear

[i-am-kincade]

Day 203 of 365

I need a drink.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 193 of 365

Life: (n) the existence of an individual human being or animal

My extensive layers upon layers of irony and sarcasm define presence, but this self-built-defense has only caused me to lose sight of who I am.

Does my presence in this shell confirm my existence... or simply my own reality?

Is any of me real?

I know I've lost my self when I find it easiest to remember I'm alive, by realizing I'm not dead yet. Wanting and longing for something I will not experience.

How can I be wasting my life before knowing the purpose of it?

[i-am-kincade]

Day 174 of 365

But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me

Take my body

Take my body

[i-am-kincade]

Day 169 of 365

Everything you know is a repeat

This has happened before.

I see the same years of my life play over and over again my friend.

A repeat. Is all I am.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 147 of 365

Contact dead

I repeat

Contact dead

Hands retreated

Door closed

Can't go back through.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 63 of 365

Under the assumption the government is tryrannical... Just a bit.

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What?? How?! We got separate party's and a good democracy that relies on the voice of the people.

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Oh ye ye... You probably right. Maybe. Uh huh, or maaaybe the government is just a highly corrupt oligarchy creating an illusion of a two-party system of a Democratic Republic.

Maaaaybe the government is actually a singular plutocracy taking bribes and giving privileges to corporations who undermine capitalism and manipulate the markets with catastrophic consequences. These corporatists of course only being paid by the lower class so that they can blatently occur and distribute wealth how they see fit to further increase their stance, regardless of conflicts of interest or incompetence.

Maaaaaybe it's worse than a tyrannical being... Maybe.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 55 of 365

Race day. I've had 200 calories in the past 4 days, and it's been 24 hours since I've last slept...

Should be a good race.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 52 of 365

You work from sunup to sundown

That which will only wear you down

You do this 'cause you must

Only way for money, it's too rough

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A paycheck to buy a house

To pay your bills, to feed the spouse

The cycle will always repeat

Without this, you'll be incomplete

[i-am-kincade]

Day 51 of 365

"Jump from the hook. You're not obliged to swallow anything you despise. See, those unrepenting buzzards want your life. And they got no right. As sure as you have eyes. They got no right." -James Mercer

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I believe that in certain times the only way to truely find yourself is to physically lose yourself, truely and indefinitely; wherever the journey may take you.

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You walked in small

with merely a penny

Here you writhe, obliged

A fish caught on a hook

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Late night discussion

with immense emotion

The drinks we have

now you're tokens

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Say you've always known me

but cannot fit into my shoes

Say you've seen through me

yet my glasses contort your vision

You think me present

but I've left long ago

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I believe your knowledge and sight to be true

for you have felt similar cold pain that accompanies me

and the sorrow that digs agonizingly into your anxiety ridden skin

burrowing and making its home present

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Sometimes the words we give away

are the words of advice we need

Thank you for the friendly talks only few understand

Take what you can, be where/who you want

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Always read the tags of a post.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 49 of 365

First off Christian Leave - Heartbreak??? What a jam my guuuuyyy

Okay... *exhale*

I'm getting too close to them. I can feel it. And every single step I take towards the new makes me want to look back at the old

Your fluttering eyes

Your tired wild mind

Your insecurities

Your incompleteness

I can't not think of them.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 47 of 365

An 1/8 of the year gone.

The 1/8 mark of my run is where I feel the pain.

8 mile runs are fine, but the first mile is usually the hardest and longest part to pass through.

Ive never spent a Valentine's day with someone. It was great. No lovey-dovey spending money on corporate bull shit. Just movies and cooking. Perfect day.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 43 of 365

"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it." - Isaac Asimov

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What I have to speak about has nothing to do with the quote. Trust is repetitive. You're simply climbing onto a mountain just to climb out into a valley.

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I see you

Sitting across from me at the engagement of life

Yet we both, troubled souls, won't know what could happen next

We sit, we stay, we ponder, we wait

For the crest of time that could only pertain to this moment

This painful heartfelt memory

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I see you

The bacterial coagulation on my breath

From the alcohol that could not take rest

Guides me to the overbearing undertone that I fight

I can not find reason in my desire for you

But for some ungodly reason you make it worth the chase

[i-am-kincade]

Day 42 of 365

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say."

I watched a story today of a Lissa Lucas who spoke directly to her "bought out" state representation. Powerful. And they shut her down.

It's surprising how easily and cheap these people are who are meant to help and represent the people are. It's really disgusting.

https://videopress.com/v/rjuRZxsw

[i-am-kincade]

Day 41 of 365

"Never wish them pain. That's not who you are. If they caused you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing." Najwa Zabian

You never usually know the moments that are going to be worthwhile memories until after they've passed. The smells and sounds that bring you back are out of your control. The contingent nature of the moments questions me to this very day.

Why must this tune bring me physical pain?

Why must this lavender bring me so much joy?

Why must these warm rain drops fill me with complete bliss?

This I have no control over. This is life.

[i-am-kincade]

Day 40 of 365

To future me: know that if I don't post a day, it was either a great day or a really shitty one.

It was a shitty one.