PICK A CARD: how you will calm down your future spouse
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine. This time I will give you a reading on how to calm down your future spouse. I hope you enjoy it and find it interesting!
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divider credit: @doll-fairy
Pile 1
So, first thing is that your future spouse is not someone who really understands themselves when they are overwhelmed. They definitely feel a lot and it builds up really quickly, but they do not sit there and think “oh I am overwhelmed right now”, they think they are just annoyed, or that people are being stupid, or that things are not going the way they should. It translates into irritation, sometimes even anger, but it is not really that. It is more like everything piling up and them not having the tools to deal with it in a proper way. And you, the way you deal with that is actually very interesting because you do not confront it head on. You are not the type to sit them down and be like “hey you are overwhelmed and you need to calm down” because that would just make it worse honestly. They would feel misunderstood or even attacked by that, like you are labeling them in a way they do not agree with. So instead you go around it. You definitely go around it; by distracting them. And it is not in a way where it feels forced or fake either, it is very natural. You can feel when their energy shifts, when they get more tense, when their tone changes slightly, when they start picking at small things that do not really matter. You pick up on that very quickly, even if you do not always realise consciously that you are doing it. And then you just… change things. You might start talking about something random, like something you saw earlier that day, or something that reminded you of them. You might ask them a question that has nothing to do with the situation at all. And it sounds simple but it works because it takes them out of that spiral they were in. It gives their brain something else to focus on that is not that overwhelming feeling they cannot name. Sometimes you even physically move them. Like you suggest going somewhere else, or doing something small. Even if it is just “let’s go get something to drink” or “come with me for a second”. It is like a side quest almost. And they might not even realise that you are doing it for that reason, they just follow you, slightly confused maybe, but it breaks that build up inside of them. And what is really important here is that you do not make them feel like they are a problem. Because they already struggle with understanding their own emotions, if you were to point it out too directly it would just create more tension. They would get defensive, or shut down, or even get more irritated because now they feel like they are being analysed. And they do not like that at all. So instead you keep things light. You keep things moving.
Thank you so much for reading this pile! If you enjoyed it feel free to like, reblog, or comment under this post!🩵
💌 the extended version (900+ words per pile), and 130+ more extended and exclusive readings are found on my patreon, which is here!
💌 paid, personal readings here
Pile 2
Your future spouse gets stressed out very easily when it comes to obligations. It does not even really matter what it is, as long as there is something expected of them, something they have to do within a certain amount of time, it already creates this pressure in their chest that they do not really know how to deal with. It could be something small, something that realistically would take maybe an hour or two, and still they will look at it as if it is something huge, something that will take over their entire day, or even their entire week. The things that stress them out are mainly obligations found at college or university, but also obligations one has at work if they focus on a project for example. Especially if it is a work that requires communication with others because it is not an individual project they get anxious. Your future spouse needs to have things done quickly, but many people slack off and do things last minute. That is, unfortunately, just something you can’t really avoid all that much. And all of these things is something you definitely notice very quickly about them when starting this relationship with them, perhaps already way before. They do not like responsibilities, not because they are lazy or because they do not care, but rather because they feel like they cannot handle it well. There is a lack of trust within themselves when it comes to doing things right, or doing things on time. And because of that, every single obligation becomes something heavy. At the same time though, they are very aware that this is not realistic, and that they have to do things in life. So they do try. They definitely try to push through it, to sit down and get things done, but most of the time their mind is just racing too much for them to actually focus properly. And this is where you come in. You are not someone who will take over things for them. You are not someone who will say “just give it to me, I will do it for you” or who will try to remove all responsibilities from their plate. Because while that might help in the moment, you definitely understand that it would not help them in the long run. They want to get better at this, and you respect that. So instead, you sit down with them. Literally. You make them sit with you, even if they are a bit restless, even if they feel like they cannot focus, you keep them there in a very calm, grounding way.
Thank you so much for reading this pile! If you enjoyed it feel free to like, reblog, or comment under this post!🩵
💌 the extended version (900+ words per pile), and 130+ more extended and exclusive readings are found on my patreon, which is here!
💌 paid, personal readings here
Pile 3
This is definitely someone who likes to think they have it all figured out. Your future spouse will speak about themselves as if they are the most put together person in the room, very mature, very responsible, someone who can handle anything life throws at them, but this is bollucls. There is a bit of a disconnect there that they are not aware of at all, and it shows up in very small ways. The main thing with them is sudden change. They do not do well with it, like at all. ut again, they would never admit this, not even to themselves. If something does not go according to plan, especially if it was not their idea to change it, they get very internally stressed. It is not like they lash out or create a big scene, it is more subtle than that. They will get a bit quiet, maybe slightly short in their responses, a bit nippy. You will definitely notice it, but other people might not pick up on it as easily. For example, if they had planned their entire day out and suddenly something small changes, like you needing a ride somewhere because your transportation did not show up, it throws them off way more than it should. They will still do it, they will still help you, because again they want to be seen as responsible and capable, but internally they are already a bit irritated and stressed. Not at you, but at the situation. And they do not really know how to process that feeling properly, so it just comes out in their tone or small behaviours. The way you calm them down is actually very simple, but also very specific to you. You do not match their stress with more stress, which is something that really helps. Instead, you kind of soften the whole situation without making it into a big deal. You might make a small joke, something not even that funny but just enough to shift the energy a little bit. And they respond to that very quickly. It is like they just needed a small distraction or a reminder that it is not that serious, and they can let it go. You also have a way of offering little positive things, like suggesting going to their favorite fast food place later, or doing something they enjoy. And what is interesting is that it does not even have to happen, the idea alone is enough to calm them down. It gives them something to look forward to, something that feels within their control again, even if it technically is not set in stone.
Thank you so much for reading this pile! If you enjoyed it feel free to like, reblog, or comment under this post!🩵
💌 the extended version (900+ words per pile), and 130+ more extended and exclusive readings are found on my patreon, which is here!
💌 paid, personal readings here













