~almost gone~ @i-chose-a-reckless-existence - Tumblr Blog

i dont understand

I want the fuck out of this emotional shithole. I can’t fucking do this shit every fucking day, I can’t exist this way. You think that’s reactant for me? What a fucking joke.

I literally communicated and tried to get Kiyah out since she was having a bad time and also things were devolving.

Nothing I fucking do is enough it’s always my fault. Yeah I eventually got to a boil over point I wanted the kid out and communicated that. I was also really excited about looking cute for one of the rare times lately and trying to have a good day with y’all even with the hard parts of this afternoon. I literally got blamed for it going to shit and taking forever, when I just chose between two options and the one that had food. Yay, food I won’t even be eating.

I literally on repeat checked in on both of y’all. I openly talked about being overwhelmed, in pain, starving and this taking forever with a kid who wants to leave and both of y’all are antsy and grumpy too…

I’m fucking sorry for being autistic and pregnant and STILL fucking starving hungry and eventually being done and triggered. I know I’m the only one who not allowed to show big emotions or reactions. I know if I finally explode no matter what’s going on it’s just gonna get spun that I’m the whole fucking problem.

I want the fuck out of this emotional shithole. I can’t fucking do this shit every fucking day, I can’t exist this way. You think that’s reactant for me? What a fucking joke. I literally communicated and tried to get Kiyah out since she was having a bad time and also things were devolving. Nothing I fucking do is enough it’s always my fault. Yeah I eventually got to a boil over point I wanted the kid out and communicated that. I was also really excited about looking cute for one of the rare times lately and trying to have a good day with y’all even with the hard parts of this afternoon. I literally got blamed for it going to shit and taking forever, when I just chose between two options and the one that had food. Yay, food I won’t even be eating. I literally on repeat checked in on both of y’all. I openly talked about being overwhelmed, in pain, starving and this taking forever with a kid who wants to leave and both of y’all are antsy and grumpy too…I’m fucking sorry for being autistic and pregnant and STILL fucking starving hungry and eventually being done and triggered. I know I’m the only one who not allowed to show big emotions or reactions. I know if I finally explode no matter what’s going on it’s just gonna get spun that I’m the whole fucking problem.

I’m just gonna kill myself at this point

unkn0wnusererr0r

All I keep thinking is this is gonna fucking hurt.

i-chose-a-reckless-existence

Everything hurts usually, so what’s going to hurt worse somehow? What’s going on?

#curiousfollower😇

ur-daily-inspiration

delusionalunknown

sorry if my pussy is dripping, you slapped my face, so that's kinda your fault

resqectable

“No, you’re not wrong to expect a love that respects and values you for the person you are. You’re wrong to expect anything less.”

— Unknown

cocainejuul

I hope everyone grows tired of being cruel to each other soon

konoko

serial777killers

me

roseofthefallen

Gods I need a collar or ears with bells so I can jingle while you fuck me

konoko

oldcatboi

Artist

resqectable

“I felt that thread that had come between us, tugging, tugging at my heart―so hard, it hurt me.”

— Sarah Waters, Fingersmith

bauliya

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection

mimeticfield

hard-right conservatives will be like "question everything" and then accept everything they were ever taught to believe about society plus whatever insane thing they happen to see in an email

sstrange-cloudss

I have panic disorder so I've had 1,000 "near death" experiences

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~almost gone~