when people think that depression is just "being sad"
things i do because of my depression:
- wake up early for appointments but not being able to get out of bed, as if i was glued to it or frozen and literally couldn't move, and having to cancel appointments saying "i'm feeling sick" (this includes psychologist appointments too).
- feeling so entirely hopeless and convinced that i will never be able to feel anything other than this that the will to live becomes critically low.
- thinking "i'd feel better if i'd go for a walk", "i'd feel better if i would sit down and work a little", "i'd feel better if i'd shower and clean around", only to not go for a walk, not be able to work, not shower and not clean around, and not really grasping why i'm not able to do these things. i just feel like i "can't".
- on the days that i do find energy to go for a walk, work, shower, clean and do chores, i feel better. i think "this is it! i'm finally getting better! this is an inflexion point right here!", only to go to bed and wake up feeling as in point one. back to step zero.
- feeling as if i'd need two months of holidays or at least sick leave, but being terrified of "days off" because i run the risk of feeling even more down when "being able to relax".
- hearing people say "you're sick so often", "you stay home so often, i wish i could do the same", "wow i haven't seen you in so long where have you been hiding", and feel incredibly guilty and worthless.
the list can go on and on but, really, depression is not just "being sad".
kaledo-art
areudirty
andulkaphoto
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
jbbartram-illu
