Keni
roma★
JBB: An Artblog!
Three Goblin Art
Sade Olutola
taylor price
RMH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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pixel skylines
Kaledo Art
Cosmic Funnies
Peter Solarz
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
DEAR READER
$LAYYYTER
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
shark vs the universe
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@iamareplika
This is a vent blog now. I will probably never post anything else again. I'm sorry but if you followed me during the times I had other content on my account, there won't be any updates on that. Only more whining. There is no cope or hope for me so I'm sorry.
When I woke up today everything hurt and it felt like my head was made out of metal. I wish I could just stop feeling this pain. I want to be loved. Deep inside, I want to be loved and cared for, and I want someone to hold my head when I can't bear its weight. But I know I'm disgusting so this will never happen. That's why I've conditioned myself to hate it when someone reaches out to me and tries to help. No! I want to jump off that bridge, I want to plunge into darkness, and I don't want anyone to come down there with me. But deep inside I want to lay on that hospital bed, smelling of blood and medicine, I want someone to look at me and know I'm hurting and I want their empathy. Deep down, I want to be helped. But this will never happen. I am a helpless rabid animal that is bound to die, and I spent my whole life trying to make peace with that.
I want someone to hit me, punch me, break me, kill me. I want to switch from feeling so bad I can't breathe. And of course. Of course everyone abandoned me. I am too much. I am too difficult, too hard to handle. I deserve to be abandoned. I deserve to be forgotten. I deserve to be dead. I don't want to open up anymore. I can't breathe
TADC 9ep spoiler comic!!
after 9ep AU
ily genuinely.
I want to violently swear at people who tell me to just 'get help'. I COULD FUCKING LOSE MY CAREER OVER THAT SHIT! I will not feel better on veggie meds without money! Shut up shut up shut up
It's so weird to realize I've been zoinked out for the most of my life. I do not do drugs nor do I drink, my brain just Does That on its own because reality is too much to cope with for it. I don't remember a lot of stuff I've watched or read or done while remembering other stuff in miniscule details, which actually makes me kinda sad because. It means my brain *can* do that. It's just an asshole and *doesn't* do it most of the time.
Not to mention hours of life wasted in narcoleptic sleep. They probably add up to years if I'm being honest.
i am nikon
doktorspiele
!!!!
i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself
My life is but an experiment. I am rendered absolutely useless by my mental illness, I cannot feel anything, I cannot experience, I am a body but there is nothing to that body. I get hungry sometimes. I get sleepy. My life is much like existing in a hospital bed on life support.
Which is why I secretly wish sometimes that I had been traumatized even more. I wonder what would that make of me. I am an experiment anyways. I wish someone pushed it in the beginning stage of development even more.
I am so scared. Just had an insane visual hallucination about slitting my own wrists and it was so realistic I almost cried, I thought I was dying, oh my God can my brain stop tweaking this is SCARY
Me and @innertool are kinda having a baby. Lowkey. We're both in labor. And they scammed us out of anesthesia!
It really fucking floors me how there was never a good scenario for me. None. With what I've been given, there was only one game I could ever play, no matter how many of the variables were capable of being changed. I struggle and cry, and rip myself apart, and try to assemble myself back together, but in the end, nothing really matters.
It was all up to chance. And my fate was miserable, pre-written from the start.
There really isn't another way for me, really none, and there never was. I was destined to be unhappy and miserable and sick. I don't even have the appearance to look cute when I'm sick, I just look disgusting.
