Life's A Puzzle—

and I am just trying to figure out how to piece it together.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

“There are people who mark you, who change you. They add a bit to you and take a bit away. Whatever it is, after you’ve met them, you are different.”

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—handlebars

Letting go seems as though it will be easy and you tell yourself "I can do this" over and over again, but fear creeps in as it always does. Fear overwhelms you and you're frozen. Time is at a stand still, but once you deeply inhale the fresh air, a calm rushes over and allows you to finally detach yourself from the handlebars that have known the comfort of your grip for far too long...

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—squirrel

I suppose having the life of a squirrel would be rather satisfying. Up the tree, down the tree, circle the tree, grab the acorn, repeat. When you think about it, squirrel life is essentially close to our lives as humans. We are forever up, down, moving all around, nourishing ourselves, and doing it again. The main difference would have to be, that squirrels most definitely don't overthink their days and instead live second by second without a care in the world.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—ill

It cuts deeper this time. Further down into the depths of my already weak stomach, further into my soul. Wishing to rewind to when laughter penetrated through my lips instead of empty words. I am ill in a way I have never known before.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—install

Feelings do not come with an instruction manual nor are there any tools provided when it comes to knowing how to deal with them. Feelings are most certainly not something you can install and then wipe your hands clean of when the job is finished. Once feelings are in place, it becomes your responsibility to ensure you do everything in your power to hold together the framework that allowed them to arise. You must do this so that if everything does come crumbling down, you know it was not due to your lack of attention to the fine print in the multi-language manual you were never provided in the first place...

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—content

It is often so very difficult for us to feel "content" in life. We typically are scared when we have become stable in a situation as we constantly feel as though we should be doing more. There is nothing wrong with the feeling of contentment and perhaps this is what we should all be striving for in the world today. Society is too focused on the next life goal, purchase, or new fad—maybe what we need to focus on is being comfortable with saying "I am in control, I am content, and I am not worried about all of the unknowns ahead."

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—cheerleader

She used to be the type. She used to believe in pushing her positive feelings on others. Except now she had lost her drive. She had spent so much time pumping others up that she forgot how to be happy herself. She used to be a cheerleader and now she is just trying to have faith in the team surrounding her that has continually let her down.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—glove

The way it all came together was unexplainable. It felt as though all the missing pieces were found and linked back with one another as though they had never been apart. So why is it that it all came crumbling down? Maybe it was a fear of genuine happiness or difficulty processing the feelings that were present. We often never know what the real cause to the end is, but what hurts the most is knowing you had something that fit like a glove, which turned into something that even the best of alterations may never be able to fix.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

Worn.

I'm tired of trying to think of fun things for the family to do together or planning activities and then everyone has a bad attitude or says they don't want to do it. It's frustrating to constantly feel like I put all of myself into each and every thing just to be put down at the end of the day. It is exhausting to deal with and I don't care anymore.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

Soul.

You are flesh Physically a piece of science But filled with subtle intricacies Your face draws me near I stare at this field Discovering the world And an explanation to The facts that are you Wrote this today with this new app. I think I might like it ☺️

[iamindependentlyhappy]

Priorities.

It is sometimes difficult to keep our priorities in check, but what bothers me most is those who put others down when their priorities aren't in the right place to begin with. I have been dealing with an internal struggle recently and it has taken its toll on me. I am beyond frustrated with those who feel they have a say when they don't make this event a number one in their week. I know life is busy, but this is a weekly commitment and people need to be committed. You can't be a part of something if you're not willing to put in the time and effort it takes to truly be in it. I need to really think about all of this and determine what direction to head in because I just don't feel like I'm getting out of it what I'm putting in....

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—swerve

Swerve to where you want to be. Don't take the direct path as that has no adventure to it. Be daring, be bold. Take the path that scares you instead of always sticking to the straight and narrow. You never know where a bit of deviation will take you when you are least expecting it. Swerve left, swerve right...just don't ever let yourself feel stuck in a situation.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—ingredients

Life is all about ingredients. Whether it be baking a new dish or lining up your next job, you have to have all of the basics in order to accomplish the goal. Gather the ingredients, form them into what you want, and then you have your desired outcome. If you are missing anything, what you had in mind will not turn out in the way you imagined.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

"Staging Your Celebration" We all constantly struggle with wanting to reach our destination that we often forget to celebrate the small steps that help us to reach that end goal. I know that this is so true for me. I often look too far ahead that I miss all of the moments that got me to a certain point. This sermon helped me to understand that we must stage when we celebrate. We must celebrate even the smallest of victories because without this, the finale is not possible and will have very little meaning. Even if you're not into church, this is a positive message. And if you're looking for church, I invite you to go online to elevationchurch.org and watch live on weekends or find past sermons that might relate to where you are in life right now. This church is relatable...it's a church where everyone you're around is constantly saying "me too...I have been there too".

[iamindependentlyhappy]

Back into it...

I am getting back into my tumblr. Not for pleasing anyone besides myself. I miss writing, sharing, and just having some form of outlet other than people that I surround myself with on a daily basis. I want to just be able to truly sit down and explore the world of tumblr again so that I can find a new freedom and happiness for myself. 

[iamindependentlyhappy]

oneword.com—ballot

It was a year in which ballot's may have destroyed our country, but let's look at the bright side. We are still living, breathing, and getting to be a part of this awesome thing called LIFE. A small piece of paper does not determine who you are as a person or who you are going to be in the future. Do not let the decisions of others affect how you live out each of the small miracles that life has to offer each day.

[iamindependentlyhappy]

Long time, no tumblr.

It makes me sad to think about how long it's been since I have shown my tumblr some love. I have become to indulged in other walks of life that I have neglected a place that was my outlet, even if no one was there to offer support and comfort. So where do I even begin? I graduated with my master's degree. Moved to Roanoke, VA. Got a job as a speech-language pathologist at a skilled nursing facility. Bought a puppy. Made poor decisions. Gained weight. Am working to lose that weight. Cried. Laughed. That sums it up. Except, the one thing I didn't mention above, is that I started going to Elevation. It's a church here in Roanoke and even though I have only physically gone three times so far, I have to say going there is the first time I have felt something and been moved in church for the longest time. When I'm there, every word that pours into my ears ends up filling my soul. It all just makes sense and I want to have more purpose now, a better perspective now, and focus on what is most important in this life---which is ME. I can't worry about the people or situations out of my control, that's what God is for. I can't wait for a text or phone call because then that means I'm not living. I can't lose everything I have worked for in regards to my health and happiness just because I'm lonely. I have to BELIEVE that God has my way planned out for me and that its my goal to navigate the many pathways it may take to reach the final destination. So this week, I'm starting fresh and living by the words that my ears heard so clearly in church today. I'm going to Focus, Rethink, Anticipate, Motivate, and Eliminate. I want to change my "FRAME" of mind and start living for myself and God.