you. you’re wrong. I signed up for my first TRX class and went this morning. I had been wanting to try it out for awhile. I knew it would be hard and what I need right now is a swift kick in the pants since my fitness and diet lately have been all over the map. So I signed up for a TRX START class at bodyfi. The ‘START’ lets the instructor know there are new people in class.
par for the course, i got there early since i had never been to bodyfi before but had looked at their class schedules in the mission and the Financial District before. the front desk person was very nice and showed me where things were. I went upstairs to where my class would be and hung out. the teacher came in and switched the music, set up the TRX straps and me and three other people stood around and stretched. I didn’t get the chance to tell the teacher I was new and still slowly recovering from knee surgery. I figured once class started she’d ask. She didn’t. Class just started. Ok.
Some late people came into class. She asked them if they knew what time class started. One guy said 9:15. She was like, “Yes. Right. 9:15. AM. Let’s get another set of squats in because these people are late.”
That was my second tip that she was going to be one of those no nonsense type instructors. Which is fine. I tend to like those because I’m pretty no nonsense. I show up on time. I do the work. I don’t complain. It’s pretty cut and dry.
My first tip was the look on her face from the moment she walked up the stairs. I was sitting on the window ledge facing the steps waiting for class to start. From the moment she walked in she looked annoyed. I smiled because we inevitably made eye contact because I was sitting right in front of the steps she was ascending. I made excuses for her in my head. She’s tired. She’s subbing a class she doesn’t usually teach. Maybe she’s not a morning person. It is Sunday. Maybe she was out late last night.
I immediately stopped doing this the moment 10 minutes into class when she corrected another girl by saying, “You. No. Don’t do it like that. You’re doing it wrong.”
At first I thought she was talking to me because I clearly was having coordination issues. We were supposed to have our butts as close to the ground as possible with both TRX straps in one hand. With one leg out we were supposed to use our glutes and the one arm holding the strap to bring us up and off the ground. My left knee was having a hard enough time being in a single leg squat so my right leg which was supposed to be hovering off the ground in front of me kept dropping to the floor. It didn’t matter that I was telling my core to get its shit together to help the right leg stay afloat, my left knee felt unstable, my left glute had difficulty firing correctly to get me upright (which is part of my knee problem) so my poor right arm was doing all the heavy lifting. I knew this wasn’t correct but I didn’t know what else to do but let my right leg drop to help me up.
After the teacher corrected the other girl in class, she finally caught my flailing self letting my right foot touch the ground.
“No cheating,” she said. “It’s only for 10 seconds.”
I didn’t have time to open my mouth to explain my injury because we had switched to the opposite side.
The gangly awkward guy next to me was doing a bit of his own flailing around until he just stopped doing the exercise completely deciding to wait it out until we did something new because this one wasn’t doing it for him. I should have taken his cue. My stronger right side though did the exercise significantly better so I made it through the set.
Obviously miffed that people weren’t completing sets during the momentary break between the one legged squats to the next exercise she said, “I’m sorry. I was told this class was supposed to be hard.”
OMG. Read the room woman. People are struggling in a very real way. Sure classes should be difficult but you know full well that we’re doing the work the best we can with the bodies we have. We all can’t be blessed with your amazing coordination and strength. Plus, some of us have never done movements like this before so it’s new. You didn’t bother to ask if there was anyone new in class. Plus, some of us have injuries that could be exacerbated by incorrect form. You didn’t bother to ask about injuries as well. If it’s visibly obvious that more than 1/2 the class is struggling, did you ever think that the problem might be you?
I get it. Some people respond well to the drill sargent type. But she wasn’t even being drill sargent-y. She was just being condescending.
I knew at some point in the class we were probably going to have to put our feet in the straps in a plank because most pictures I come across on the internet of people doing TRX they’re holding planks or doing push ups this way.
She demoed by putting her feet in the straps while sitting on the floor facing them and then flipping around on to her hands. There was some sort of cross over action with the straps so they ended up being right when you flipped over. I knew I’d be in trouble at this point as my coordination has always been an issue.
Par for the course i couldn’t figure it out and she came over. I was on my hands and knees with one foot in and had trouble reaching my left leg up to just get the foot into the strap. Of course it would be my weaker leg. I managed to get the foot in towards the end of the set.
She was speaking to me. I had attempted to straighten my legs to get myself into plank but she had me stay on my knees and hold from that position. Which was fine. How nice of her to have my own best interests in mind. How nice of her to call me YOU, like I was some sort of problem child. Like how she called out the other girl earlier. Yes, why don’t you address all of us here like stupid children and you’re the exhausted adult who really just wants to say, “Why can’t you all do it perfectly? What’s wrong with you? I got up early on a Sunday for this?”
I think she had given up at the end of class because during one of the stretches the guy next to me and I were obviously not doing it right and facing the wrong way and she didn’t bother to say “YOU. NO. UNACCEPTABLE.”
As soon as class was over, even with my gimp knee, I ran down the steps and grabbed my stuff from the locker room ran out the door as fast as I could because I could feel it starting to grow and build in the back of my throat and behind my eyes. Right before class ended I felt it starting.
I am going to lose my shit and it’s not going to be pretty.
I ran home and sat on my front steps for a good while sobbing like someone I loved had died.
It was ridiculous. I felt ridiculous. My perfectly rational brain knew that whatever THAT was back there was all her and I owned no part of her shitty behavior but that moment was exactly what has kept me away from group fitness classes for most of my adult life.
I had always thought I needed to be in shape to just attend any sort of class. After discovering SoulCycle and Burn I found a great supportive fitness community that proved me wrong and that I was fully capable and that everyone has to start somewhere.
Ever since my knee surgery in February I’ve felt like I’ve had to start all over again so it’s been tough to get back into class knowing I wasn’t as strong as I was before surgery. It’s been months of second guessing and trying to walk the fine line of movement that is good for my knees and movement that will only continue to destroy whatever cartilage is left in my knees.
During the TRX class I moved slowly and paid attention to where my knee was in space. I didn’t let it move beyond the ankle and I didn’t lock it straight regardless of what the exercise was. I simply did not move into anything that would put my knee at risk so I made up my own modifications.
And if that’s called “cheating” then oh fucking well.
Don’t make the assumption that you know my body better than I do. I live in this thing 24/7 whether I like it or not. I know what it’s capable of. I know what it’s limitations are and I’m the expert on what my knee can and cannot do.
I really don’t think that condescension is the most effective form of motivation either.
The whole thing caught me off guard since pretty much all of my experiences with group fitness have been positive so far in my adult life.
I remember my first Burn class and feeling pretty self aware that I was a step behind everyone during the cardio sets (and forget understanding what foot goes where in speed skaters, that took me months to master) but at no point did anyone ever make me aware of it. Not only was my non-coordination a non-issue, the positive reinforcement from everyone there made me want to come back despite my inability to lift a water bottle to my face due to soreness the next day.
I remember gleefully being off beat and on the wrong foot during my first couple of SoulCycle classes without anyone saying in front of everyone in the class “YOU. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.”
just those words have been haunting me today. You. Wrong. You. Wrong. You. Are. Wrong.
one of the things that made me start the Burn instructor training last year was this very real and genuine want to encourage people to realize their potential no matter where they are in their fitness lives. if you don’t believe in yourself sometimes it can take just one person who does to change your mind.
getting through a tough workout is hard enough if you’re new, unsure or uncomfortable with your body. it’s even harder when you have someone using the word “wrong” a lot in class. so many of us already struggle with that voice in the back of our heads telling us we’re wrong. the last thing anyone needs is a tangible voice outside of our heads reinforcing this untrue statement.
with that said. i’m signed up for a pilates circuit class tomorrow evening at the same place and if i leave feeling the same way i’m out. there are so many other places out there that can take my money. i don’t need to pay this one to make me feel bad about myself. there’s been enough of that in my life already.
