The 8 SECRETS of an 8 year relationship
Love month is finally over but I would still like to have a blog entry for this season. I know people will be shocked upon reading the title of this blog, yes guys I have an 8-year relationship and we’re still going strong. Thinking about the journey, I felt humbled and honored to have a relationship this long and it kinda makes me want to share with you what we did to make it this far, so here it is.
It was this day in 2010 when I had you, it was an unexpected feeling. We didn’t plan this, we weren’t the most compatible people to begin with, we have our differences but we chose to settle things and get by and now we are celebrating our 8th year!
How did it happen? Lets count it down.
An awesome first step is to familiarize with each other, we were basically strangers in the beginning. Its like a scrapbook that needs to be filled out, could be the favorites like red is the favorite color, an avid one piece fanatic, likes singing “GOLD” in the shower. could be hates too: hates spiders, hates drinking water from other sources and the list goes on until you reach the point of “yeah this can do, I can get by with these weird things”
Second is believing, this doesn’t have to be deep. just believing that the person next to you is worth believing for, their hopes of becoming a Marketing person after college, belief that they can be a good dancer.
Yep, BIG WORD. one of the key factor in every relationship, and a good pillar to all successful ones. I separated belief and trust though they might have the same meaning but I think its very different in context. You can always believe without trusting it wholeheartedly right? The moment you decided to trust the person, is the moment you surrendered everything to them. Your fears, ambitions, insecurities and all the wild thoughts you have. and if they reciprocated it by accepting all of those things about you, then we begin with..
This is hard I might say, a person isn’t always willing to step out of their “comfort zone” for the benefit of the other. Its challenging, a simple rescheduling to match their sched so that you can see each other is very frustrating. Adjusting your sleep and being able to wake up first in the morning to prepare breakfast and to not eating pork because I am not allowed is another thing.
I know that this one is very important, you give and you take. Same with adjustments but in a totally different level. Here you begin to sacrifice, you fill out whats lacking. Always remember its not just your needs/wants that should be satisfied, think of the other peson as well. You sacrifice your sleep so that you can go out in the middle of the night even if you have work early morning tomorrow.
You cannot have a successful relationship if you don’t have this. Its what fuels you both, supporting doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing in everything but also suggesting another option that you think is best for the other person. That only means you support them because you want them to succeed in every endeavor they choose to take. Just being there on their recitals, just being there on their lowest points, just being there when they want to eat lugaw at midnight or smoke in a different place really helps.
Its when you reach the point of whatever happens, I’m gonna stand by you. dramatic, sure! but it happens. You decided to be commited to the other person. Its pretty scary because its when clingyness also starts, maybe you don’t want to see them with other friends, you want to check out on them everytime, want to always spend time with them. Just be careful if you have attachment issues, control and leave a space for yourself. That wouldn’t hurt the other person, I’m sure.
Last but definitely not the least..
You did the seven things above: you familiarized, you believe, you trust, you adjust, you compromise, you support and you commit because of only one thing: You LOVE the person. Need I say more? I think you know what I mean.
And for the 8 years we spent together, we shared a lot! we went to places, we discovered new things, we have our firsts. Ours was not perfect, there are times when we argue, we have misunderstandings but we choose to stick with each other up until this very moment. Being able to surpass all of these is what made us stay through the years. and for that, cheers! its been an awesome and great 8! heres to more years to come.
“Each one or them felt they were in the right place, where they needed to be, with the perfect companions. A unique sense of harmony developed between them - each one needed the other and, in turn, shared the sense that they too were needed. The whole convergence was like a lucky but entirely accidental chemical fusion, something that could happen once.” -Haruki Murakami; Colorless
Happy Anniversary, Belvs. You guys are the best relationship I have, God bless us.
#Belvs8 #est2010 #hometeam
