I am the Bean Wizard™

the all-powerful bean wizard

[iamthebeanwizard]

Sometimes you just gotta stand up from your desk at work and scream profanities at the overhead lights that buzz obnoxiously above your head, you know?

[iamthebeanwizard]

What even is tumblr if not a lifeless caricature of social delinquency upon which I spew my tomfoolery

[iamthebeanwizard]

I wonder if i could get notes if i just

*wiggles like car dealership balloon man*

[iamthebeanwizard]

🎶sitting at my sad brown cubicle

So so bored

I can only play so much solitaire on my phone

Please send help🎶

[iamthebeanwizard]

It has come to my attention that I have an unhealthy obsession with the Owl House

[iamthebeanwizard]

Just here to report that the keyboard at work is so unutterably ancient that I dislocated two of my fingers pressing down on the keys (jk i have EDS... My fingers dislocate if I breathe too hard)... I currently have them stinted together with rubber bands because my dipshit coworker stole all my scotch tape (fuck you brad)

[iamthebeanwizard]

Get you a girl who sends you pics of her shit floating in the toilet because "omg babe look at this fat shit I just took, it's huge, it's a record!!!"

I love my wife

[iamthebeanwizard]

there is a microwave in the employee lounge that i firmly believe is from the 1970s and, personally, that makes me uncomfortable

[iamthebeanwizard]

Man i sure do love my job where i get paid to sit at a desk in an office with no background music and do absolute fuck all on my phone for 7 hours straight

[iamthebeanwizard]

there is a small child making uncomfortable amounts of eye contact with me from the opposite end of the tax office pls send help

[iamthebeanwizard]

I, a lactose intolerant individual, have made the foolish mistake of not ordering my peppermint mocha with oatmilk. God himself has informed me i am playing with fire, but little does he know that I am a pyromaniac with no sense of self-preservation. Anyways I am going to the bathroom to suffer, does anyone want anything

[iamthebeanwizard]

I feel like shitposting and no amount of prozac will stop me

[iamthebeanwizard]

I have returned from the abyss

[iamthebeanwizard]

Today i made a chore rotation spreadsheet for me and my roommates and personally i think that's very slay of me

[iamthebeanwizard]

It baffles me when people idk follow my tumblr shitpost account. Like sir what are you doing here, there is nothing for you here, this place is a dumpster fire at best

[lg5]

It's crazy that these strikes are happening given that all the writers and actors are asking for is less than 0.3% of the revenue these studios make.

[rootbeergoddess]

This is what gets me. The writers and actors aren’t asking for much but these CEOs are digging their heels in

[vermilionstarlight]

It's because it sets a precedent that the CEOs are terrified to set. That they will acquiesce to worker demands if the workers are resolute enough.

Because in an ideal world for these rich fucks, the workers give up, and the CEOs win, and its reinforced in the collective public mindset that all a strike does is "disrupt the economy, deprive people of valuable products, and waste people's time". The goal is to maintain the assertion that Strikes Don't Work. I don't think they genuinely give a shit about 0.15% of their revenue. What they care about is the OPTICS.

They cannot back down, for the exact same reason that WORKERS cannot back down. Because if the workers win, it shows people just that bit more that The Poors have power and ultimately we can make the rich do what we want if we put our fucking minds to it. And that, to the rich, is bad news bears to the highest degree.

[eliciaforever-deactivated201906]

Reblog if you’ve ever been told it was a “shame” that you cut your “beautiful hair.”