zafiro

[iamzafiro]

to trust

beyond sense

beyond wounds

to trust 

viscerally 

blindly

to trust 

from the soul

to trust 

the immensity 

of this pull 

towards each other

so deep 

teaching us

to love ourselves first 

to love each other then

sincerely 

selflessly 

unconditionally 

beyond 

being together 

beyond 

our own desires

real love

the one we are yet to learn 

to trust 

this is the path

to die

so we can rebirth 

to lose 

so we can finally find

to trust 

we will learn 

to be there 

for ourselves 

and for each other 

loving

true 

together

always 

Yes, I trust 

[iamzafiro]

I know this death

I remember it, as I breathe it

it’s the one that comes after the warm

bright light

certain

and full of purpose

I know this death

it comes all of a sudden

flooding

liquid fire

full of sadness, rage, frustration, disappointment, guilt, 

and all that debris

This death

through my and chest

and throat

and stomach

pouring out

in relentless rivers

This dying

this birthing

these bones

this blood

this breath

this spirit

all I am

and all I need

[iamzafiro]

me quedo con tu beso  

con el peso de tu cuerpo sobre el mío

me quedo con el blanco de tu piel 

suave deslizando por la palma de mi mano

me quedo con el calor de tu abrazo 

que me abarca y me contiene 

me quedo con tu mano en mi pecho 

por donde entras a mí 

me quedo con los ratos de silencio 

cargados de tanto

me quedo con tus manos 

sí

me quedo con el verde que aprendí en tus ojos

me quedo 

con estas palabras

[iamzafiro]

what have you come to teach me?

are you a test

to my resilience?

to my determination

to my capacity to lose

to be

with a certain kind of death

to accept it

mourn it

and then

awaken

blinded by the light

of a certain kind of life

that feels like heaven

that looks like heaven in my face

and yours

floating

across green fields

the tips of my fingers

brushing the fresh grass

awaken to the weight of our bodies

on each other

since always

smiles that feel eternal

and then

to die again

to feel myself

emptied from my body

a void shaped like negative roots

through me

to die again

to remember

I know how to give birth

to myself

are you a test?

to my perseverance

to my unconditional way of giving

to my deepest weakness

wanting to receive

to receive

what you’re not giving me

so why am I here?

are you here?

are you a test

to my naivety

of believing you will stay

and we will build something together

something together

bigger than us

immense

are you here?

[iamzafiro]

los que amo

the ones I love

settle inside me

like invisible roots

growing behind my skin

and through my organs

holding tighter

with every look

every word

every gesture

every breath

invisible roots

making their way through me

like paths in a forest

creating new channels

within my folds

and inhabiting me through them

a parallel circulatory system

through which love flows

out of me

and into me

and out again

as they settle

and conquer me

. . .

los que amo

se instalan en mi

como raíces invisibles

creciendo bajo mi piel

atravesando mis órganos

arraigándose

con cada mirada

cada palabra

cada gesto

cada respiro

raíces invisibles

abriéndose paso en mi

como caminos en una selva

creando nuevos canales

entre mis pliegos

habitándome por ellos

un sistema circulatorio paralelo

por donde fluye amor

hacia afuera

hacia adentro

y hacia afuera

mientras ellos se instalan

y me conquistan

[iamzafiro]

And so, just after the wave crashes the shore the water pulls back, back, back mad currents of warm and cold rummaging through the deepest sand getting all it needs to resurface with more knowing of when to hold when to let go when to embrace and when to kiss the sand

[iamzafiro]

once upon a time far away beyond mountains and valleys and tired tree branches there was a place so warm and so lush with waterfalls of eternal passion and waves that embraced in their slow dance yearning to be conquered by the warrior who dared to cross all those mountains defeating the silent snow covering it all with surrender and dismay the warrior who didn't need an armour because he shone from within the one who was strong the one who knew he was the right man

[iamzafiro]

in this mirror how did you get here?

big hands too full and too empty hands that make hands that find warmth from these waterfalls burning made of stories dripping from inside

small hands too full and too empty hands that have lived hands that hold grab find this hardness denied and glorify it

in this mirror fire rises in this mirror fire is tamed

in this mirror how did we get here? all of you all of me all we need

[iamzafiro]

wake up to this tide giant waves cashing madly against the walls of this fort I ought to be dam salt water blocking my throat my ears, my forehead hitting my chest blurring my eyes flooding the day from inside

–

despertar con esta marea olas gigantes reventado contra los muros de este fuerte que soy que debo ser represa agua salada que busca salir por mi garganta mis oídos, mi frente golpeando mi pecho nublando mis ojos inundando el día desde adentro

[iamzafiro]

to be tender meat yearning to be devoured

worshipped offered all the offerings

raising vertical flame becoming blinding light

to worship you my predator

and finally devour you suck you from inside bearing you and rebirthing you making you as you make me primal essential all flesh and all ethereal

[iamzafiro]

everything collapsing

huge bricks flying

falling heavy

on me

my bricks

my pieces

stories I made mine

imaginary lands

parallel universes

ethereal homes

each of those one of me

too many of me

none of them real

collapsing imploding

[iamzafiro]

quizá necesitaba toda esta lejanía para acercarme más allá de mares y montañas

quizá tenía que haber construido laboriosamente esas paredes y hacerlas más y más gruesas para derrumbarlas

el otro lado siempre estuvo en mis hombros tanto pasado tantas mujeres, madres tantos hombres

quizá tenía yo que cargarlo y traerlo conmigo tan lejos para por primera vez dejarme cargar

el peso de mi cuerpo real la tierra tibia y fuerte abrazándome meciéndome suave madre madres madres de madres saberme parte de todas dejarme acoger y ser hija madre mujer

--------------------- (attempt to translate) ---------------------

maybe I needed all this distance to get close beyond oceans and mountains

maybe I had to build laboriously these walls and make them thicker and thicker to tear them down

the other side always was on my shoulders so much past so many women, mothers so many men

maybe I needed to carry it all and bring it with me this far to let myself be carried

the weight of my body real the ground strong and warm embracing me rocking me gently mother mothers mothers' mothers knowing me part of them letting myself be daughter mother woman

[iamzafiro]

cómo puede ser uno tantas mujeres de ojos grandes y no dolerle todos los dolores

cómo puede uno ser una mujer siquiera cuando es evidente que todo

es nada

y qué hace uno con toda esta nada?

cuando tanta mujer y tanta distancia hacen ver todo tan banal y lo sublime no se encuentra ni en las memorias más guardadas

cómo podemos ser todas una sola mujer una sola mirada una sola cuca un solo vientre una sola madre una sola soledad

… attempt to translate …

how can one be all of these women with big eyes and not ache all the aches

how can one be one woman even when it is evident that all

is nothing

and what does one do with all of this nothingness?

when so much woman and so much distance make everything so banal and the sublime cannot be found even in the most confined memories

how can we all be one woman one gaze one cunt one womb one mother one solitude

[iamzafiro]

lost and found II

every pore of my skin opens up to you the air gets thick everything is plump wet

as I dream of that space in between us when we’re so close but not touching and your sweet breath is filling me warm

that space where we forget how lost we are because all there is is right there fluid, dense and ethereal all at once

[iamzafiro]

plenty

air? my chest giant balloon widens slow what air? all of these flavours all of these smells all of these words all of these lips all of these eyes all of these places

all that has been mine all that I have been theirs

and I am touching it all inside my chest touching it all with all of my parts inside

plenty

or is it air?

aire? mi pecho globo gigante se expande lento qué aire? todos estos sabores todos estos olores todas estas palabras todos estos labios todos estos ojos todos estos lugares

todo lo que ha sido mío todo lo que he sido suyo

y lo toco todo dentro de mi pecho tocándolo todo con todas mis partes dentro

mucho

o es aire?

[iamzafiro]

la vida es lo que ocurre entre un poema y otro (autor?)

[iamzafiro]

but they are all gone